more carrot ones... 

 

What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

Don't let him drive that cargo freighter,

don't let him steer that cargo freighter,

don't let him near that cargo freighter,

early in the morning.

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                             The horn inflated first.....

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Levels of sheep-worrying in the UK are at an all-time high.
They really shouldn't read the Daily Mail.

Two salesmen were going door to door, when they knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.
She told them that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door.
To her surprise however the door did not close and, bounced back open.
She tried again and again convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door.
She reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said:
"Madam, before you do that again, you might need to move your cat."

The police rang me today to say they've recovered my stolen sofa.
Which I thought was nice of them. It was starting to look a bit scruffy.