Mark Zuckerberg is going to change his name to Mark Sugarmountain.

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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!
 

What do birds do on Halloween?
Go trick or tweeting. 
 

What do witches use to keep their hair up and on end? 
Scarespray.
 

What runs around a cemetery but doesn’t move?
The fence
 

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves 
 

Chat-up Line:-"I'm looking for treasure - can I look around your chest?"
 

A nun, Sister Josephine, went to heaven, only to be informed by St. Peter that there was a waiting list. 
 ‘Go home and relax,’ advised St. Peter. ‘Give me a call in a week and I’ll let you know whether your accommodation is ready.’ 

 The following week she phoned up and said: ‘Peter, this is Josephine. I have a confession to make: I had my first-ever cigarette yesterday. Will it affect my chances of getting into heaven?’ 
 ‘I’m sure it won’t,’ replied St. Peter. ‘But your room still isn’t ready yet. Call me in a week.’ 
 A week later, she called again. ‘Peter, this is Josephine. I have a confession to make: I had my first-ever alcoholic drink yesterday. Will it affect my chances of getting into heaven?’ 
 ‘I shouldn’t think so,’ answered St. Peter reassuringly. ‘But your room still isn’t ready. Call me in three days.’ 

 Three days later, she phoned again. ‘Peter, this is Josephine. I have a confession to make: last night I kissed a man for the first time. Do you think it will ruin my chances of getting into heaven?” 
 ‘I very much doubt it,’ said St. Peter. ‘But give me a call tomorrow. By then I’ll have checked it out with the boss man and I’ll know about your accommodation.’ 

 The next day, she phoned again. ‘Pete, this is Jo. Forget about the room.’