I called the dentist and asked if I could make an appointment. 

"How about 10 tomorrow?" asked the receptionist. 

"No thanks, just the one will be enough".

 

I was checking into a hotel with my family, and at the end I leaned over and quietly said to the guy at reception "I hope the porn is disabled".

He gave me a disgusted look and said "It's just regular porn, you sick <deleted>".

 

 

I've just taken up marbles.

A gynecologist lost his job and, due to the declining birth rate, had to retrain as a motorcycle mechanic.  He did well in the training and sat his final practical exam, where he had to diagnose and fix a broken bike.  The examiner watched him closely, and when he finished, loudly applauded and said "Congratulations.  I'm giving you a 150% grade".

"Thanks, but how did I get 150%?"

"I gave you the maximum amount of 50% for quickly working out the valves needed reseating, and 50% for expertly repairing the problem.  Then I added another 50% because, in 30 years of doing this job, I've never seen anyone fix a motorcycle engine by going in through the exhaust pipe before.

I've just taken up marbles.

I’ve just retired my medicine ball and am going outside for a quick game of basketball with friends !!







( okay, I’ll come clean, I’m inside with my pea shooter ☹️)

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I've just taken up marbles.

And hang lower.  

4 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

okay, I’ll come clean, I’m inside with my pea shooter

I think you could have chosen your words better, but I see where you are coming from!

1 hour ago, scottiejohn said:

I think you could have chosen your words better, but I see where you are coming from!

I think you could have chosen your words better too!

I think you could have chosen your words better, but I see where you are coming from!

You can !!
Should have got blackouts on these curtains !!

Sad ..... but true!!

Really wanted to buy this, but not sure I would dare wear it ☹️

Let’s take it down a level !!

Yeah, can relate to this [emoji20]