Frustrated Farang Husband - Part 3

[arcturaz]

     I posted a few months ago about how frustrated I was with my long-term relationship with a Thai lady. Today, I will provide a coda to an already excruciating marital quagmire. While we divorced 3 1/2 years ago, we were still living together in a house with 2 of her relatives and two children - one semi-adopted, the other my biological son. I wanted to give our relationship, and family the patience and care I think all real families need. I was willing to forgive many transgressions (infidelity, squandering millions of baht, parasite family members, a filthy house, uncaring attitude towards anything called WORK, endless and massive assistance programs - Read; a mother with terminal brain cancer, millions lost on a false business venture with a brother, etc, etc, etc).

 

     My ex swore on every known Thai deity that she would never leave me, was committed for life, wanted a chance to redeem herself (etc...). Three days ago my ex arrived at our children's school and took my Daughter, she also took both cars (one paid for, the other relatively new), about $300,000 in gold, $100, 000 Baht in very recent credit card usage, All of her and my daughter's clothes were taken from the house, and other sundry items as well. My son was driven back home by one of the family members who still live with us. Her reason for not taking him is probably based on the fact I have legal custody. Nonetheless, the event was devastating for me and my son.

 

     Hindsight is ever lucid, and it wasn't long before I began putting all the sordid pieces together and realized that she must have been planning this for a very long time. The new car purchase, more money into her small business (a drink cart), credit card use, strange trips here and there during the day, and even stranger ones late into the night all made it very clear; she wanted to extract the maximum amount before escaping.  After about 2 days she sent a message about how I forced her to leave, and how she needed 'time' to think about her life. Naturally, this is a total sham as we had spoken many times and I gave her every assurance that if she needed to go, or if she felt it could not work out, I would not block her or create any problems for her, We have been together a long time and I did not feel there was any point in making each other lives miserable. She has known me for 17 years and knows I honor my words and am always trying to find a reasonable compromise.

 

     Naturally, I was upset about her past behavior and made it clear if this behavior continued we would have to put an end to things. My primary concern was and is the children. I did not want them to be traumatized, nor did I want them to witness any sort of emotional violence. What was done was an act of extreme emotional violence, and my ex is, in my estimation, a criminal. I cannot even walk into another room now without my son yelling our, 'where are you going!' I fully understand what he is really saying, 'Please don't leave me too!' He misses his sister terribly and even rearranged all her toys saying she will come back to play with him soon.

 

     I do not know what will happen next, I have heard little from my ex since she left. Needless to say, I will be spending a lot of money on attornies in the coming months. The most painful thing about it is things were going excellently, every day my children were singing and laughing, my ex and I were more affectionate and tender again, all seemed right in Camelot; until the dragon of ill' omen returned and burnt the fairy tale to the ground. I miss my daughter, but I cannot allow myself or my son to become pawns in what is almost certainly a lurid game of Thai cat and Farang mouse.  Sacrifice is a part of family life, but when people betray every know moral code then it is time to see them as something else, history. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rimmer]

A baiting post and reply have been removed

[OneMoreFarang]

If you want that people read this maybe you should add some paragraphs...

[BritManToo]

Nobody made you buy her a new car or give her access to your gold/credit card.

(If it was your new car, I suggest you report it as stolen to the police)

Never let a woman get her hands on anything you value and want to keep.

An English woman taught me that lesson 10 years back, and it applies just as much in Thailand.

 

If someone asks me for a business loan (beyond 500bht), I always suggest they ask a bank.

 

One bit of positive advice I can give you, remove all of her family members from your house immediately.

[arcturaz]

Good point OMF

[Spidey]

I am generous and trusting to my wife but access to my bank cards/bank account, Whooa!

 

How did she get the keys to the 2 cars? Whose name are they in?

 

My advice, liquidate as much as you can, get as far away as you can with your son. Preferably your own country. You have no choice but to forget your wife and stepdaughter and start a new life.

 

Hope that you have better luck in your new life.

[swissie]

There seems to be a certain pattern among Farang/Thai couples: If the marriage is on the rocks, the Farang tries to prove his sincerity about the marriage by leaving the financial gates wide open. (A desperate attempt to re-buy happiness).
OP has been doing the opposite what a Thai Husband would be doing: Under these circumstances he would be closing the "financial gates" and possibly try to re-start the marriage while the "financial gates" remain closed.
Also a Thai Husband would not bother too much with the "children-issue". It would be more like a "me first" situation.
Seems to me that OP needs to adopt more of a "me first" attitude.
Urgently!

[Been there done that]

5 hours ago, Spidey said:

I am generous and trusting to my wife but access to my bank cards/bank account, Whooa!

 

How did she get the keys to the 2 cars? Whose name are they in?

 

My advice, liquidate as much as you can, get as far away as you can with your son. Preferably your own country. You have no choice but to forget your wife and stepdaughter and start a new life.

 

Hope that you have better luck in your new life.

Generous and TRUSTING.....what a load of claptrap !

[AlexRich]

Lesson for TV patrons?

 

- don't buy property in Thailand

- don't loan money to Thais (or anyone else)

- don't get married (unless it's a fake, non-legal one)

- don't have children (wear a condom)

 

Have a girlfriend, rent property, promise nothing, be prepared to move on. 

 

Happy 2019 to all.

 

[473geo]

12 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Lesson for TV patrons?

 

- don't buy property in Thailand

- don't loan money to Thais (or anyone else)

- don't get married (unless it's a fake, non-legal one)

- don't have children (wear a condom)

 

Have a girlfriend, rent property, promise nothing, be prepared to move on. 

 

Happy 2019 to all.

 

Alternatively find sun and cheap sex elsewhere...... and leave Thai women to those that can handle them

[neeray]

9 hours ago, arcturaz said:

Hindsight is ever lucid,

Hindsight is Insight!

9 hours ago, arcturaz said:

"made it clear if this behavior continued we would have to put an end to things"

Speaking of hindsight, you allowed her to set the wheels in motion when you made the above statement.

 

Not only Thai women can be this conniving. (I speak from experience.) A year or two after my first child was born in 1969, I caught my western wife cheating (how? is now a hilarious story on its own).

I decided to stick it out until that child was 3 and would know who Daddy was. Unfortunately, I must have blurted out my intentions in the heat of one of many arguments. Nearing 3 years, she became pregnant again, then again and again (69, 72, 75 and 78). Simple math. Finally, after child number 4, she once again told me to get out. I did! (before 1981/84 and child number 5 and 6).

Today, I am happy that I listened to her and made the difficult move.

 

It stung for many years as my love for my children was akin to yours for your son.

But you will move on and be happier for it. Time is a great healer.

Good luck.

[Spidey]

4 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Generous and TRUSTING.....what a load of claptrap !

Do you know me, do you know my wife? Don't take it out on me because you can't get a decent woman.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

14 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Do you know me, do you know my wife? Don't take it out on me because you can't get a decent woman.

 

Guyfromanotherforum here. The one who always brags.

 

There is no decent woman or decent man. We are all driven by greed. Farang men are not innocent in these relationships - not by a long shot. We are also greedy and want young and pretty. You will eventually pay for that. 5 years into my relationship with a Thai woman, my two requirements was that she has a job and doesn't send her family money. That's 2 less major headaches out of 100. 

 

Thai women like anyone just want to get through this life a bit ahead. Westerners in Thailand are doing the exact same thing. 

 

No advice for the op, but reading it this is exactly why at 45 I still have no kids. In the west the above scenario would be terrible, but manageable. In Thailand it's catastrophic.

 

Happy new year

 

 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

No advice for the op, but reading it this is exactly why at 45 I still have no kids. In the west the above scenario would be terrible, but manageable. In Thailand it's catastrophic.

It's actually the other way round.

In the west they can just take the kids and you never see them again (the western government will finance everything).

In Thailand they still want your money, and you can negotiate cash deals for the kids.

[Spidey]

2 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Farang men are not innocent in these relationships - not by a long shot.

Very true. IME it's usually the man to blame for a marriage failing, they just go into denial. Biggest problem, they know what they want from a marriage, and demand it. However, they've no idea what their wife wants from the marriage and don't really care.

 

Bar girls get a bad press for the way they treat farangs, farangs get a much worse press from bar girls. A farang is happy to lie to them and lead them on to get what he wants and often cheats them out of money.

 

If you have a string of failed relationships behind you, look at yourself, not the women who've just had enough of your ways.

 

I have been married for over 30 years to my British wife, we'll never get divorced, mother of my 2 kids and the best woman I've ever met. Totally my fault that we're not together now.

 

I've been married to my Thai wife for 5 years. Can't believe my luck. Best wife and best mate a man could have. If it didn't work out, I know that it would be me to blame (Thais always blame someone else 555).

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

57 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It's actually the other way round.

In the west they can just take the kids and you never see them again (the western government will finance everything).

In Thailand they still want your money, and you can negotiate cash deals for the kids.

 

Weeelllll, I don't know.

 

In the west at least you get 50% of your assets and possibly even more even if you were born stupid. In Thailand you may get robbed of everything.

[Lacessit]

Under Thai law, only the assets accumulated during the marriage are split 50:50. Defacto relationships don't count.

To be robbed of everything in Thailand, one would have to be egregiously stupid.

[OneMoreFarang]

7 hours ago, AlexRich said:

don't get married (unless it's a fake, non-legal one)

It seems a Thai marriage ceremony, documented with lots of pictures, is legal enough in Thailand to be counted like an official marriage with documents. Be warned!

[Spidey]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems a Thai marriage ceremony, documented with lots of pictures, is legal enough in Thailand to be counted like an official marriage with documents. Be warned!

I don't think so, well I hope not. If it is, I'm a bigamist!

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, Spidey said:

I don't think so, well I hope not. If it is, I'm a bigamist!

That's perfectly alright as long as you are a Muslim ???? 

[Spidey]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That's perfectly alright as long as you are a Muslim ???? 

Wash your mouth out.

 

Shurly, if it's a Buddhist ceremony and I'm an atheist it doesn't count either. 

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

In the west at least you get 50% of your assets and possibly even more even if you were born stupid. In Thailand you may get robbed of everything.

1

In the UK, the woman with kids under 15 gets the house 100% and 50% of everything else (In my case a house worth 600,000gbp). Plus child maintenance of 20% of your income for the next 19 years.

In Thailand I have a house with a 90% mortgage, the wife gave it to me in the divorce because she couldn't make the repayments.

[Spidey]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

In the UK, the woman with kids under 15 gets the house 100% and 50% of everything else (In my case a house worth 600,000gbp).

Can't you apply to the courts for her to sell the house and give you 50%, once the kids have come of age?

[BritManToo]

Just now, Spidey said:

Can't you apply to the courts for her to sell the house and give you 50%, once the kids have come of age?

Nope, they get full title 'in the interests of the children'.

[Spidey]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Nope, they get full title 'in the interests of the children'.

But what about when they aren't children any more?

 

Pretty sure that this happened to my sister in law. The house wasn't worth a great deal and she ended up living in a caravan.

[Pete1980]

4 hours ago, Spidey said:

.

 

Bar girls get a bad press for the way they treat farangs, farangs get a much worse press from bar girls.

 

The thai prostitutes would have to be the smartest in the world. Their foreign customers buy them houses, cars, businesses, land, support entire families and often buy them a wedding ring etc etc. It is amazing.

apart from the phillipines, no other country even comes close. The girls understand it for what it is, a business deal, but the customers think it is love.

Then they feel bitter and complain whenit goes belly up. 

Thai teens dont have posters of overweight farangs old enough to be their dad or grandfather on their bedroom walls.

 

Money cant buy love.

You can take the girl out if the bar, but you can never take the bar out of the girl. Living in pattaya i see it everyday.

 

[Spidey]

33 minutes ago, Pete1980 said:

The thai prostitutes would have to be the smartest in the world. Their foreign customers buy them houses, cars, businesses, land, support entire families and often buy them a wedding ring etc etc. It is amazing.

apart from the phillipines, no other country even comes close. The girls understand it for what it is, a business deal, but the customers think it is love.

Then they feel bitter and complain whenit goes belly up. 

Thai teens dont have posters of overweight farangs old enough to be their dad or grandfather on their bedroom walls.

 

Money cant buy love.

You can take the girl out if the bar, but you can never take the bar out of the girl. Living in pattaya i see it everyday.

 

Living in Pattaya, I rarely see your vision. I see bargirls who have been promised the earth by 2 week millionaires, to get it at a reduced rate or even free, only to shatter their dreams when they go home and never get in touch again.

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Living in Pattaya, I rarely see your vision. I see bargirls who have been promised the earth by 2 week millionaires, to get it at a reduced rate or even free, only to shatter their dreams when they go home and never get in touch again.

AWALT.

No point in being truthful, honourable or loyal to any woman, they don't believe in any of those things.

The more truthful you are with them, the more power they have to manipulate you.

Bargirls are just like any other woman, maybe a little bit more honest and upfront about what's going on, and with a few more miles on the clock.

[Spidey]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

No point in being truthful, honourable or loyal to any woman, they don't believe in any of those things.

YMMV

[rumak]

1 hour ago, Pete1980 said:

The thai prostitutes would have to be the smartest in the world. Their foreign customers buy them houses, cars, businesses, land, support entire families and often buy them a wedding ring etc etc. It is amazing.

apart from the phillipines, no other country even comes close. The girls understand it for what it is, a business deal, but the customers think it is love.

Then they feel bitter and complain whenit goes belly up. 

Thai teens dont have posters of overweight farangs old enough to be their dad or grandfather on their bedroom walls.

 

Money cant buy love.

You can take the girl out if the bar, but you can never take the bar out of the girl. Living in pattaya i see it everyday.

 

are you the Pete from Private Dancer ?    lol