Getting married to Thai wife in a month: Need help to know if she is cheating. :(

[Hummin]

Just now, Hummin said:

I have stopped giving advises to men in love. Even tried to tell one of my best friends what they do is stupid. They all react with anger against me, so better let the time work for me, and pick up the pieces later! 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

9 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I would wager that her parents are in with this as well, don`t trust any of them.

I'd agree, conversation seemed to suggest the guy knows mom.

[stevkob]

9 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks. She's already been throwing around the idea of buying her a Chanel purse. She just got a Gucci purse 2 months ago, where I only paid half since we are supposed to saving for a wedding. I kind of feel that all my friends will understand, but I feel so bad that all these people took time off from their jobs to attend my wedding and paid for flights and hotels

 

You might find that all the gifts and such you have given her over 4 years are stored waiting for the ebay firesale post divorce, but thankfully you have seen the light.

Your one advantage is that you are now onto her antics and can reek out some tasty revenge if you so wish.

 

[BritManToo]

33 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am planning. But I think that her parents need to know the reason why as well as I have developed quite a good relationship with her parents. 

I've always found the best way to end a relationship is to block all communications, and not contact them again.

Saves a lot of stress, and prevents risk of sudden death.

[simon43]

Now if Zen were a hot woman, you could confront your fiancee and only agree to marry her if Zen were also part of the nuptials..... ????  

[scorecard]

22 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

OP.  No need for all this agonising.  Just end the relationship and walk away, cut all contact.  Move on with you life.

 

You say you have wasted your 4 years... but in reality you have not.

 

You must have enjoyed it most of the time, and the money your spent was for that enjoyment, the price you felt was right to pay.  You have also gained valuable life experience and will be in a stronger position in your future relationships.

 

As for your 30 people coming from America, so what?  Marriages get cancelled all the time, people change their plants.  Those 30 people won't be annoyed or upset at you, but some will be sorry for you, which is nice and what friends do.  

 

If you ever get to a point in a relationship when you are spying on your other half, checking texts and the rest, that that is the point the relationship is over.

 

As for revenge party thing that is just really dumb, waste of money, will make you look a fool and a bad person in front of you 30 friends, and will haunt your the rest of your life.

 

As for trusting other women.... now you know you can't trust anyone 100 percent, woman or man,  that's normal human nature.  Most people can't even trust themselves.  But you will find a good person with a conscience in the end.

 

PS, advise to meet girls to get married to on Tinder or the internet is idiotic.  Meet someone in real day to day life you stand more of a chance of finding a real partner, not someone who is a butterfly or just after money.  

IMHO the 4 years picture is irrelevant.

 

I just asked a Thai colleague (balanced female mid aged professional lady) to scan the OPs original thread.

 

Her comment: this is not pure friends chatting, it's 2 people in a close personal relationship.

 

This also highlights the dangers of long-distance relationships.

 

Seems to me the OP needs to move on and quickly and don't look back, no second chances. 

 

 

 

Edited January 4, 2019 by scorecard

[cyberfarang]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'd agree, conversation seemed to suggest the guy knows mom.

Right. Have the parents had any major house renovations done lately? Has papa suddenly acquired a new pickup?

 

Bet they have and that would be by courtesy of the OP. Happened to an Australian friend of mine. 

[Vacuum]

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found the best way to end a relationship is to block all communications, and not contact them again.

Saves a lot of stress, and prevents risk of sudden death.

  Been there, done that.

[UKresonant]

35 minutes ago, saminoz said:

I think you're toast but try the acid test.

Either straight out ask her or, if you're brave enough, flat out accuse her.

The first should produce tears and a lot of emotion if she's not cheating, the second, in my experience, will produce a crap load of anger and possibly some violence, if you really have caught her out!

Either way, as I said, you're already toast so move on.

That's good advice, OP be aware of your personal safety, and remain very passive and have a line of retreat, if she or any of her family demonstrate any violent behaviour ...The loss of face cancelling the wedding could cause problems, whether right or wrong..

[Rugon]

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

Well again you are wrong, you post nonsense, then attack others when you have no idea about them. 

In the text it says teerak (English DARLING) WHEN DOES A FRIEND SAY THAT TO ANOTHER FRIEND?

No need to shout. Did you read the whole thing?

[scorecard]

6 minutes ago, johnwf1963 said:

That's good advice, OP be aware of your personal safety, and remain very passive and have a line of retreat, if she or any of her family demonstrate any violent behaviour ...The loss of face cancelling the wedding could cause problems, whether right or wrong..

 

And if you accuse her show her the 'evidence'.

 

'I'm worried you might be seeing another guy' with no back up will just produce lines like 'I love you but you don't trust me', 'I  make nice meals for you my darling' with lots of hugs and kisses etc., leading to no conclusion. 

 

This scenario is nothing more than a waste of time and leaves you too open to just let it continue.

[scorecard]

10 minutes ago, johnwf1963 said:

That's good advice, OP be aware of your personal safety, and remain very passive and have a line of retreat, if she or any of her family demonstrate any violent behaviour ...The loss of face cancelling the wedding could cause problems, whether right or wrong..

 In other words confront her / talk to her alone, nobody else in the house. good advice.

[Thaiwrath]

3 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

has anyone opened the attached file? i would not.

I'm sorry I opened the <deleted> post, never mind any attached file ! ????????????

[Rugon]

It's full of video chats if you open the file! 

[Sheryl]

The fact that you suspect she may be cheating, whether your suspicions are correct or not (they usually are) is ample reason not to go ahead with the marriage.

 

Compelling reason.

 

What's the rush?

[losworld]

20 minutes ago, johnwf1963 said:

That's good advice, OP be aware of your personal safety, and remain very passive and have a line of retreat, if she or any of her family demonstrate any violent behaviour ...The loss of face cancelling the wedding could cause problems, whether right or wrong..

these gals are great actors i wouldn't bet that the reactions could be the opposite... proof is in the email and as elvis sings "suspicious love".  get out of this as quickly as possible

[SteveK]

Why would ANYONE marry someone they think might be cheating? 4 years and can't read any Thai?

 

[sanemax]

You have her FB log in details .

Why dont you write a message on the conversation ?

"Hi , this is Mike posting "

[cyril sneer]

6 minutes ago, sanemax said:

You have her FB log in details .

this is handy if you want some revenge op

 

post screenshots of the conversation on her timeline

change her marital status to single

change her profile photo to a buffalo

Edited January 4, 2019 by cyril sneer

[MrPatrickThai]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

More than $2k per month? That must be true love.

Maybe spent another $1k on tequilas for the girls and enjoy life for a day or two. Then you won't miss her anymore and I am sure another one will love you too much.

I missed the part where he said he was a monger.

[MrPatrickThai]

17 minutes ago, pr9spk said:

Why would ANYONE marry someone they think might be cheating? 4 years and can't read any Thai?

 

Sad, ain't it - Thai 3 year-olds can read.

[MrPatrickThai]

7 minutes ago, cyril sneer said:

this is handy if you want some revenge op

 

post screenshots of the conversation on her timeline

change her marital status to single

change her profile photo to a buffalo

And change his own Thai visa photo to RIP.

[TonyClifton]

May The Supreme Being and Almighty God, bless you with many children.

[kannot]

2 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am planning. But I think that her parents need to know the reason why as well as I have developed quite a good relationship with her parents. 

no, you  "think " you  have.

[sanemax]

I would use the FB page to make a video call to him, just to see his reaction .

[Enki]

Regardless how sad/true the story is: I would not use her FB page. While you strictly speaking not hacked her account, any abuse is illegal. 

[TonyClifton]

15 minutes ago, sanemax said:

I would use the FB page to make a video call to him, just to see his reaction .

What does it have to do with the man?  He's not going marry the OP.

[simon43]

Don't post her details etc on FB - remember that Thailand has very strong defamation laws, even if you speak the truth!

[donim]

Don't marry if you are in doubt ! That's what I was thinking, even before reading the chat text, after reading that my opinion stays: DON'T

 

Edited January 4, 2019 by donim

[mauGR1]

Is it only me that smells a troll here ?