Need advice from experienced farangs about Thai girls

[TheFarangGuy]

Hi everyone,

 

This is my first post on this forum, but I've been following it for some time now and there are many great advices and new stuff I learned, so cheers to that!

 

Alright, this may seem like another stupid foolish farang story where a guy comes to Thailand and falls in love with first girl he sees, but it’s not like that. I’m not in love or in a relationship with this girl yet, just want to check some things with more experienced people:

 

I've been seeing this girl for some time now, maybe total 3 weeks. We met on Tinder. She messaged me first, and i replied next morning. I asked her to have dinner with me that night and she accepted. We even split the bill. Long story short, we didn't talk much during dinner actually, it was kinda weird, but whatever. All of the sudden she asked me if I want to take a walk after dinner. There was some event on the street so we went to check it out. She was very touchy all the time and in 10 minutes we’re already holding hands. I’m fine with that. But we still didn’t talk much during the whole thing. I ask her if she wants to come to hotel with me. She says yes, but is very hesitant. In the room we just talked a little bit, she didn’t want to kiss or anything. She left home after an hour or two.

 

Next day I ask her if she wants to get dinner again. She’s kinda not interested but accepts. She’s quiet during the dinner, don’t talk much. Fast forward, we’re in my room again. Now all of the sudden she’s saying i’m the right guy, she’s planning to stay with me when I come here next time, she likes me a lot, bla bla. I was very surprised, as we barely know each other, and we barely talked about anything lol. But whatever, had sex that night. 

 

She works for a respectable company as a sales agent and travels a fair bit (has her own car and house actually), but stays in this town, let’s call it XY town for 2 weeks at a time, then goes back to BKK. She even took me with her when she had to briefly go for work so I know she’s got a job for sure.

 

We went for a weekend trip together, she took me to a family gathering introducing me to everyone etc. Not something girl would do if she’s not serious, right?. She says many sweet things like any other Thai girl, but reading some of the horror stories on the internet and this forum makes me question everything about Thai girls lol. 

 

I just can’t figure her out completely and I’m quite good at judging people. So that’s why I’m asking for help. Her Facebook profile seems normal, nothing unusual or wild there. However, didn’t see her IG profile yet. She said she likes to party from time to time, but didn’t see any party pics on Facebook.

 

 

Some red flags (if they qualify as red flags, for me as a European most of these things are pretty common and normal):

 

• She’s 30 but single (not a big deal for me honestly, but apparently it’s a red flag in Thailand?)
• We met on Tinder + she has her phone number/whatsapp in profile description
• Has 3 tattoos (again, not a big deal for me, but apparently huge flag in Thailand)
• Shaved down there
• Swears from time to time
• Asked me to give her money for plane ticket to visit me this year and jokes she needs to save money all the time, and that she’s poor
• She don’t mind if we don’t use protection (actually, she tried to pull me in without protection couple of times while things were getting hot)
• She didn’t ask me much about me, about my job or anything personal
• She chats with few guys on Whatsapp, some of them are farangs I think. I know that most girls usually chat with at least 3-4 guys at a time so it's not a big deal for me, but it's worth mentioning

 

Also, she has this friend who bought her a new Samsung when she lost her phone. Also, she’s going to Europe for 10 days with a friend, and she stay’s with a friend in Bangkok for 2 weeks every month when she’s there for work. Not sure if all of this is the same person, but my instincts tell me it is, and I’m 99% sure it’s guy friend. Still have to find this out. 

 

She had farang boyfriend before but they broke up after few months because he left for Europe. When I asked who’s fault it was, she said it was him because he stopped talking to her. I'm fairly confused what to think about the whole situation. I don't want to jump in a relationship, especially not in a long distance relationship with someone I feel like I can't talk to properly. And it's not about the language, her english is fairly good, it's about the personality. Appreciate any help. Thanks guys!

[Denim]

Oh no, not another one. And the other one is still running !

Get a real job for pity's sake.

[BobbyL]

Wow. This place is becoming unbearable.

 

Another poster with no posting history then drops something like this. It is becoming like Reddit on here. 

[xylophone]

4 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

I just can’t figure her out completely and I’m quite good at judging people

Well you'll have your work cut out if you can "figure out" Thai women because many of them have problems with their wiring.........there is a disconnect between the brain, the heart and the pussy, however they are all connected in one way or another to a farangs wallet/bank account.

 

Love as foreigners know it, is virtually unknown, or should I say extremely hard to find in a Thai woman, and playing the game with a few farangs in tow is highly regarded by friends of theirs, as well as increasing their own wealth.

 

Picking up farangs and playing them along is a great way to be able to afford to buy one's own house and car as well as enjoy holidays with different partners when they eventually arrive in Thailand......variety is the spice of life.

 

No problem with enjoying fun times whilst you are here provided you don't get "hooked". 
 

[TheFarangGuy]

1 minute ago, BobbyL said:

Wow. This place is becoming unbearable.

 

Another poster with no posting history then drops something like this. It is becoming like Reddit on here. 

What am I supposed to write 100 posts first then ask a question I want to know? I said I'm following the forum for a long time, and that this is my first post. I'm sure you see many topics like this every day, but if you don't want to comment feel free to pass by. Thanks.

[TheFarangGuy]

2 minutes ago, vinniekintana said:

She's probably mooching from a farang or two and she wants to add another in the team.

Potentially ex bar-girl

I would also make sure that she actually has a real job.

 

Remember...everybody lies in Thailand (most of the time)

Could be possible that she's having few farangs here and there. Her job certainly makes it even easier to achieve.

 

She has a real job, i'm 100% sure. Went to her house and saw bunch of products she's selling, and we took some to a client. No worries about that. 

 

 

[CharlieH]

Benefit of the doubt,.......for now.

[RotBenz8888]

23 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

but stays in this town, let’s call it XY town for 2 weeks at a time,

Pattaya?

[SammyT]

24 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Long story short, we didn't talk much during dinner actually, it was kinda weird, but whatever. All of the sudden she asked me if I want to take a walk after dinner. There was some event on the street so we went to check it out. She was very touchy all the time and in 10 minutes we’re already holding hands. I’m fine with that. But we still didn’t talk much during the whole thing. I ask her if she wants to come to hotel with me. She says yes, but is very hesitant. In the room we just talked a little bit, she didn’t want to kiss or anything. She left home after an hour or two.

 

The real red flags are the inconsistency in the story...

 

She doesn't talk through dinner, so you sit there awkwardly. She doesn't talk in the street, so you walk awkwardly, holding hands. So you invite her back to your room, she doesn't want to hook up, so you sit in near silence for two hours?

 

25 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Shaved down there

Also, I'm struggling to see how this constitutes a red flag? I've seen women of all pubic hair types and it's not a good indicator of whether they're decent people or not. 

[ivor bigun]

Do what i did ,go courting for 7 or 8 months then live with her for 6 months to make sure( her idea not mine ) then if all is ok get married,most of the advice on here is worthless,just do the same as you would with any other woman,they are mostly the same the world over ,women think left to right men right to left ,we just meet in the middle occasionally ,lol

Ps still going strong 22 years later

 

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

 

[jackdd]

Im 99% sure that she is looking for sponsors, and you are just one of many

[55Jay]

40 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

We met on Tinder.

Well, not bagging on folks who use dating sites but seems like that whole scene is rife with independent working girls - either full-time, or moon-lighting from a day job to supplement income.  And a lot of the males in that genre are simply looking for free sex vs. the straight up bar girl/pay for play scene.  Cuz they have morals.  LOL. 

 

At the same time, she's 30, well into the Thai female Spinster Zone, so the biological clock is ticking louder in her head.  She could very easily be grooming punters as future sugar daddies but also on the look out for a suitable partner.

 

If she's a casual creampie player on the second 'date', there may already be a kid or two stashed out of view at Mom or Grandma's house. 

Edited February 26, 2019 by 55Jay

[TheFarangGuy]

5 minutes ago, jackdd said:

Im 99% sure that she is looking for sponsors, and you are just one of many

Funny thing is, she didn't ask for money except for plane ticket money to visit me in the future. She drive me a lot around the town and don't want gas money. We split every dinner/lunch bill. She doesn't ask for any gifts or anything. That's what leaves me confused. She's so inconsistent that it drives me crazy.

Edited February 26, 2019 by TheFarangGuy

[baansgr]

I worked with Thai girls that had good jobs and reasonably money.....they also had about 4 facebook pages, guys buying them phones etc....maybe Im just jaded about thai women as for me all of them are a complete turn off, all act, talk the same rubbish. Seriously try having an intelligent conversation, even about Thai history and you wont get a response....with yours it seems shes a player.

[VocalNeal]

I would say go with the flow but don't give her any cash. She has a job after all. If she starts to ask for money that would be a red flag. 

 

The cliched sick buffalo etc..

 

But you can't go through life silently.....

 

Join a social group or activity together and see how that goes.

 

My credentials? I have already bought one family a new "tractor" and have not bought another girl a new mobile phone or bought her a birthday present as she wouldn't show me her ID card to prove it was her birthday.

Edited February 26, 2019 by VocalNeal

[55Jay]

18 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Funny thing is, she didn't ask for money except for plane ticket money to visit me in the future. She drive me a lot around the town and don't want gas money. We split every dinner/lunch bill. She doesn't ask for any gifts or anything. That's what leaves me confused. She's so inconsistent that it drives me crazy.

If she's working you as a future sponsor, she knows most guys, especially internet punters, are well aware of the common red flags.   We all talk, so do they.  So they'll use a soft touch, get you relaxed and play on your desire to think "this one's different", then ease you into it.   From what you've said, she's already dropped a few seeds.  You can play the long game and see what she does, but don't be surprised if she dumps you in the near future if she decides her time and effort are being wasted. 

 

Edit: And fer ***** sake, Wear a Condom.

Edited February 26, 2019 by 55Jay

[Vacuum]

8 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Funny thing is, she didn't ask for money except for plane ticket money to visit me in the future. She drive me a lot around the town and don't want gas money. We split every dinner/lunch bill. She doesn't ask for any gifts or anything. That's what leaves me confused. She's so inconsistent that it drives me crazy.

Of course not. They never do, until you've swallowed the hook, line and sinker.

[SammyT]

12 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Funny thing is, she didn't ask for money except for plane ticket money to visit me in the future. She drive me a lot around the town and don't want gas money. We split every dinner/lunch bill. She doesn't ask for any gifts or anything. That's what leaves me confused. She's so inconsistent that it drives me crazy.

Yet she jokes about being poor all the time, talks about needing to save money. 

 

She's asking for money without asking for money. It's called dropping hints...

[SammyT]

18 minutes ago, 55Jay said:

Well, not bagging on folks who use dating sites but seems like that whole scene is rife with independent working girls - either full-time, or moon-lighting from a day job to supplement income.

Agreed. Unscientific observational study of mine would indicate about 50% of girls on there charge by the hour or the night. Hence why I generally only swipe right on the tourists coming through Thailand. At least you only have to buy them a beer or two, not a buffalo or a tractor...

[TheFarangGuy]

Yeah, all of you could be right. Good thing I'm leaving Thailand and not coming back for at least 6 months. So let's see if she can prove she's for real or just looking for a sponsor. Six months is a good time frame to test her out.

 

I see few possible scenarios:

 

• she's just looking for a sponsor
• she's stepping into her early 30s and want to get married (she said that actually)
• she's just playing around with multiple guys at a time because she can

Don't want to jump into any conclusions too early. She's on a testing phase for sure. No money, no nothing. 

 

 

[steve73]

How old are you OP?  Similar age or are you much older.

Are you a visitor or are you now living here permanently?

 

Don't let yourself get drawn in too deep.  Use protection for sex.  They know that foreign guys are often much more "responsible" (read: easier to manipulate)  if they (think they) have a child.

Don't succumb to any large financial demands, splitting expenses, occasional dinners, or small gifts are fine, but beware of "family" medical problems, dying buffalos or replacement motorcycles.

Don't move in with her (unless you keep a "grab-bag" handy.

Enjoy it while it lasts.  If it's not what she really looking for you'll be toast in a few months at most (unless you're stupidly generous, and then it could last a lifetime.)

Good luck.. you'll probably need it. 

[dcsw53]

Get back on Tinder, keep fishing. So many bells going off sounds like a bell ringers convention.

[Deerculler]

The red flags are so big. Go man go.

Dich her

[SammyT]

14 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Yeah, all of you could be right. Good thing I'm leaving Thailand and not coming back for at least 6 months. So let's see if she can prove she's for real or just looking for a sponsor. Six months is a good time frame to test her out.

 

I see few possible scenarios:

 

• she's just looking for a sponsor
• she's stepping into her early 30s and want to get married (she said that actually)
• she's just playing around with multiple guys at a time because she can

Don't want to jump into any conclusions too early. She's on a testing phase for sure. No money, no nothing. 

 

 

Safe money is she won't wait for you for 6 months. To be fair, if I just met a girl, regardless of her ethnicity and then a few short weeks later she left the country for at least 6 months, I wouldn't be waiting around either. Either that or she'll wait for you but have three other guys sending her money at the same time. 

[brokenbone]

everything seem ok with me except the parting with money thing, i'd suggest instead buy a perfume you like and give her that, and encouraging underwear

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, TheFarangGuy said:

What am I supposed to write 100 posts first then ask a question I want to know? I said I'm following the forum for a long time, and that this is my first post. I'm sure you see many topics like this every day, but if you don't want to comment feel free to pass by. Thanks.

Do you really think you will get specific / conclusive advice here?

 

Not possible for many reason, the main one being that she is an individual like all other human beings.

 

What other people do, regardless of their nationality, is individual. Thais / human beings are not robots, they all have different values, motive, behaviors, past experiences, etc etc.

 

 

[kannot]

0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 out of 10...Z- fail

[TheFarangGuy]

10 minutes ago, SammyT said:

Safe money is she won't wait for you for 6 months. To be fair, if I just met a girl, regardless of her ethnicity and then a few short weeks later she left the country for at least 6 months, I wouldn't be waiting around either. Either that or she'll wait for you but have three other guys sending her money at the same time. 

Nothing to lose here really. If she doesn't wait it just means she's not serious enough. Good riddance in that case anyway.

 

Then again, she said she will visit me in my country if I don't come to Thailand in 6 months. I guess Thai girls know how to work a man up.

[steven100]

 

wait ...  I'm just getting the popcorn  ..... ????

 

 

 

[madmen]

48 minutes ago, TheFarangGuy said:

Funny thing is, she didn't ask for money except for plane ticket money to visit me in the future. She drive me a lot around the town and don't want gas money. We split every dinner/lunch bill. She doesn't ask for any gifts or anything. That's what leaves me confused. She's so inconsistent that it drives me crazy.

Ha Ha they dont bother with small stuff because they going for the big payday. Happened to me an amazing and stunning Thai woman I met at a private Hi SO party and we clicked lots of free sex and she surprised me with paid for tickets and accommodation to a 5 star resort Phuket. Thought I hit the Jackpot until she asked me to be her business partner for 1 million baht plus a business visa. I never saw her put in a days work at any time as a "fashion designer"

 

Long story short she paid for holidays with husband supplied credit cards ..yes found out later married and hubby away for a month working as an oil exec. After it dawned on her I wasn't parting with 1 mill she broke it off. That was the big con, pretend to be wealthy Hi SO and go for the big payday.