Dr. Swattapankot Stuparratana, D.V.S., "Mor Swat," the popular host of Channel 7's "This week at the Zoo" program ... which plays Sundays at 9AM to a rapt audience of millions of Thais ... has just announced a trail-blazing program to ... in his own words: "Help lift the spirits of, and remove evil spirits from, Chiang Mai and Lanna peoples by expiatory and apotropaic sacrifices of animals (who are already going to die because of their karma)."

 

He went on to say, as the extra-large tookay, affectionately known to tv fans as "Shin" walked across his desk: "All we Lanna peoples are pollution problem, and not maybe do much about because Ketu and Rahu are doing the bad, but people like farang with broken-heart ... oh ho ... so many.  We help them take away bad thought, not live soi dog life."

 

The program takes advantage of the fact that everyday many zoo species require food consisting of other animals, or insects. For humane reasons, these are, of course, served freshly killed. The zoo dietician, Ms. Harpoonta Pierona, M.V,S., comments: "Our food service has actually been considered for the zoo equivalent of a Michelin Star by the International Assoc. of Zoo Management; an average day will see us serve over three-hundred mice tartare, several thousand larva, flies, cockroaches, etc. A full-grown bull Tookay alone can eat a quarter of his body-weight in insects per night, when he is in full-voiced rut in the presence of receptive females who will do anything to make him stop bellowing."

 

Here's how it works:

 

1. At the zoo, or any CM shopping mall: sign up for either expiation, or exorcism. Pay the voluntary donation of 500/1000 (insect, mouse) baht for foreigners, or 100/250 (insect, mouse) baht for Thais. See the list of optional other services below [1].

 

2. Write the message: either listing what you wish expiation for, or the curse you wish performed on whom, with the appropriate details; this will be printed on a micro-dot sticker to be attached to the insect, or animal, body.

 

3. Now, enjoy knowing you have relieved stress, and helped everybody in Magical Lanna enjoy our wonderful zoo !

 

[1] Optional Services: 

 

1. A video of the death of your selected animal/insect. Foreigners 2000 baht, Thai 750 baht.

 

2. Copy(ies) of video delivered by motosai messenger to person(s) of your choice by courier: available in Muang area only, daytime hours only. Per person: Foreigners 2000 baht, Thai 750 baht.

 

3. Video of you watching the death: Foreigners 3000 baht, Thai 850 baht, plus zoo admssion fees for you and your guests.

 

4. Video of target of your curse watching the death: by special arrangement only; if abduction and/or drugs are required, costs will vary.

 

~o:37;

 

and, if you think this is pure fiction: (link) in Texas 'tis

Is this only available today by any chance?

You just can't make stuff like this up.  ????

This is an everyday post by this member.

It makes it difficult to distinguish when he is trying an April fool's day prank.

5 minutes ago, Old Croc said:

This is an everyday post by this member.

It makes it difficult to distinguish when he is trying an April fool's day prank.

I forgot about it being April 1st.  Thanks ????

All the animals fitted with smog masks would be a novelty ????

1 hour ago, Old Croc said:

It makes it difficult to distinguish when he is trying an April fool's day prank.

 

Knowing someone understands me, even if it is impossible for anyone else to experience the result of a cosmic singularity that united my former human self with an Orang self ...

 

gives me the courage to ... go on, and on.

 

~o:37;