15 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Legitimate jobs in Thailand do not pay well. The average wage in my GF's village is 2500- 3000 baht/month. Her father gets a monthly government pension of 800 baht. Whoopee.

You may be right w.r.to the OP, given his age and the age of a prospective GF. It would be completely unreasonable for me to expect my GF to contribute on an equal financial footing to our relationship, given the amount of care I get.

Wife's family, 3 cousins work for Dow Chemical average 50,000 per month - Industrial park.  If you want to stay in the village you be a poor folk.  Get an education and work for industry and make some money.  Up to you.  A lot of scholarships around.  Dow has great insurance and other benefits too.  Wife's family members stuck at 50 becasue of poor English. 

I'll bet by now the OP has had more advice than he, or his gf, can swallow.

On 4/4/2019 at 7:54 PM, wgdanson said:

You certainly are...it is Baht not Bhat!     LOL

Or even Bath as the Thais like to write.  As in 'Beer 80 Bath'.

14 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Wife's family, 3 cousins work for Dow Chemical average 50,000 per month - Industrial park.  If you want to stay in the village you be a poor folk.  Get an education and work for industry and make some money.  Up to you.  A lot of scholarships around.  Dow has great insurance and other benefits too.  Wife's family members stuck at 50 becasue of poor English. 

An education in Thailand? The ruling class have zero interest in an an educated rural Thai population, they know lamp posts would beckon.

12 minutes ago, grollies said:

I'll bet by now the OP has had more advice than he, or his gf, can swallow.

Dear me. Don't think your post went through to the wicketkeeper.

9 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Dear me. Don't think your post went through to the wicketkeeper.

Never mind that, it's going to rain, place is full of flying ants.

Regardless a girlfriend gets no salary. You came to Thailand found a beautiful piece of donkey and are crying all the way home because you can’t save her or be with her forever. Listen, don’t send any money. Next time you come here you will find another even better. I know girls who have 3 or 4 guys like you sending money. They just laugh at the stupid Farang. Bottom line, don’t send anything.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Don't worry my newbie friend. Any girls that ask for a monthly amount, as soon as you meet them or shortly thereafter, is a WORKING GIRL. Nothing wrong with that, but keep it real. Understand that here it's just about the money. Don't get confused and think that they will be monogamous, or be similar to any relationship you've ever had in the West. It's a business, and you are the paying customer.

Your 31 not 71. Surely there are women you won't have to pay in your own country.

Why be stuck with one woman fulll time? At 31 you should just play around.

Call it whatever you like (didn't read all the post).

  I hooked up with my lady because I liked her. I retired myself when I "discovered" this wonderful country at the age of 51 and wanted to get the most out of my new life of freedom (was one year recovered from alcoholism at the time) so I decided to spend the next few years travelling the width and breath of Thailand. I certainly wasn't going to do this on my "owneo" and leave my new found love at home, working in a job that paid pittance as far as I was concerned. So I simply told her to pack in the job, pack her bags as we were heading off into the wild blue yonder. I also made it clear to her that she would not be losing any money...I will give her the same amount every month (that way she could still fulfill her obligations to her Mother etc.,.

   Best decision I ever made. I would never have stayed in Thailand alone. Am still with her. I have been here 19 yrs. now. I have a nice property, 2 cars and two motorbikes. The only reason I mention the "material" things is to point out that they are all due to her (she made it possible for me to stay here).

 Had I never met her and returned home after the first 5 years or so through loneliness or whatever....If lucky...I would be existing in a studio flat that cost the whole of my pension in rent alone and if even more lucky....would be sitting in front of a one bar electric fire...just waiting to die.

   

  

10 000

It is not just in Thailand, here in the Philippines some foriegners treat their lady like a whore and pay them an "allowance" but I am not going down that track it goes against the grain for me. 

What you talking about, trick?

I have been married for over 47 years and have never paid a salary.  My income is our income and we only buy what can be afforded.  My wife is asked a lot about how much I pay her a month.  She rightfully says nothing.  She is not wanting for anything.  We have taken care of family members  on both sides of the ocean.  Spent $38,000 the past 3 years building a home for one.  Putting a new roof on a home for one and will sent twin girls to university if they show this is what they want and have to do well in school first.  Both are 14 and we want them t become something.  I don't think my wife is believed, but who cares.

I don't mean to pile on here. Oh, wait, yes I do. If you give her a salary you are an idiot. She has no respect for you and you are only an ATM. 

I meet my Thai wife 10 years ago and she has always had a job and taken care of me and the kids at the same time. That is up until recently, when she got seriously ill and I told her to stop working. 

 

I have no idea how much she spends per month, but she is definitely not a big spender on things for herself. For sure it is not 50K.

 

I never spent a single dime on Sim Sod and and her family has never asked me for money. They take care of themselves. 

 

And Yes, my wife is not educated and comes from a poor family. Which does not always mean that people have to be stupid, greedy or scammers. 

 

In fact, I find her poor background to be an advantage for our marriage

and partnership. She is always happy with what she has, which is so much easier, than some hi-so, who can never get enough.

 

So it is possible to live with someone from a poor background, without getting ripped off.

 

I wouldn’t swap my wife for any other younger, educated and white-skinned Thai-woman.

On 4/4/2019 at 6:29 PM, baansgr said:

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

I do not give salary to my gf and we have been together 7 years now.

 

We met when we were both students, she was living with her family and me living in a shit 3000 THB room at the time. I got my first job a year later and started with 50k/ month. She got a job few month later and started with 15k.

At that time, we decided to move in together and I was paying the rent and most of the expenses which sounded fair to me.

7 years later we both have a good job, over 100k / month and we share everything 50%.

 

Only time I pay for her would be if i decide to invite her to a nice restaurant or make surprises gifts, exactly the same I would do with a farang girl back home.

Sometimes when we fight, she often tell me "you're lucky to have me, most of thai girls, rich or not would expect the guy to pay for everything"

We plan to get married soon, I know it will be costly for me but still, her family is super comprehensive and don't want a high dowry neither a big wedding and plan to give us lands (at least to her) with rubber trees and banana farms for us to get extra incomes.

Most of my friends here have similar gf / wife and they would just leave them if they had to "pay a salary" or most of the expenses all the time.

I guess it depends on what kind of girl you meet here.

On 4/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, FarangOnTour said:

Excuse me if I sound like a "cheap Charlie" but this does not seem 100% correct to me. Is this the case across the board, by which I mean; do all Farangs pay their Thai girlfriend

 

 

just the insecure stupid ones

On 4/4/2019 at 10:29 PM, baansgr said:

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

 its pathetic/desperate to pay a thai lady to pay a thai lady to live with a farang..sure, they all want/need money, but paying regular mthly payments to them is soo weird...

there are so many to choose from {even for older men} --its much cheaper to rent and get variety , without having to subsidise their problematic lives...

i know several beautiful ladies, that will stay with me,a night or two, without demanding money , money, money.

why are so many expats, so desperate, niave and immature ?  it beats me...

1 hour ago, 4737 Carlin said:

Your 31 not 71. Surely there are women you won't have to pay in your own country.

 

 

depends

 

 

On 4/5/2019 at 12:50 AM, jmd8800 said:

Good response. The key is: what your relationship is based on.

 

I prefer to spend my time with women who have a life and career. Sure we can share things and she probably shares a bit less than I but still.... a girl with a decent salary and job is the ticket. However, this girl won't have a lot of time after work or spending time with the family. You should also have a life and interests to offer her. Sitting around all day probably won't work. In short... it is just like home.

 

If she is with you 24/7 then she is effectively working for you and you'll pay her a salary.

 

Bangkok is the place to start as the smarter more attractive girls will head to the big city where there is greater opportunity in all aspects of life. That is universal.

you make some good points...the problem that i have found with ladies who dont work in bars...

they work so much, its hard to get quality time with them..also, from my experience,they  are the ones that want marriage...thats also a no no... why get married, its unnecessary, achieves nothing, only more problems.

1 hour ago, ehs818 said:

Don't worry my newbie friend. Any girls that ask for a monthly amount, as soon as you meet them or shortly thereafter, is a WORKING GIRL. Nothing wrong with that, but keep it real. Understand that here it's just about the money. Don't get confused and think that they will be monogamous, or be similar to any relationship you've ever had in the West. It's a business, and you are the paying customer.

 

how about a gainfully employed and verified gal with a masters degree, car and good salary demanding a 5000 baht/month allowance despite living rent free and almost never paying for food ??  working girl or just working girl wannabe?  its not everyone but in their society there are many with this mentality

31 years old. Suggest too young to be thinking along the lines you are.

Go home, get stuck into work & think. Don't let Percy take over

If you are living here and she is living with you then you are paying for most of her expenses. It would be reasonable for you to give her about 9,000 that she could send home to her family. If you wasn't living here and you want her to be exclusively with you, 20,000 is reasonable although I wouldnt recommend it, as you would have no idea if she was being faithful. If you end up marrying her then 2 or 3,000 pocket money is enough. There will be loads on here who will say pay nothing. Yes in the western world I agree but this is Thailand and the culture is completely different.

4 minutes ago, jimn said:

There will be loads on here who will say pay nothing.

yes ..... they say, oh no, I give her nothing, as though they are making out the girl likes them so much that she will just stay with them without any support ... BS total BS.

And, really it's the same in the west as you have to pay for electricity, groceries, expenses and everything else if you have a wife ... so it's no different, it's just works out in a different way.

The fact that you left your home country where you were socialized to have perception of man-woman relationship that is on a somewhat more modern/developed level and came to a place which has social structure and values that the other side of the world had 200-300 years ago doesn't mean you have to abandon all you have been taught before and accept everything here as part of the host culture.

Just consider how you would think about similar situation in your home country. Usually people pay salary for other people in return for some service or employment. If your girl ask for salary from you and does no other thing for you than being your girlfriend then she is a prostitute.

If you live with her in Thailand some money to care  of her personal expenses is not uncommon.

 

As you pay for everything else do not give her the huge amount she request . 50,000 THB per months in a  salary after you have a degree.

 

If she do not agree , just go to the next one. Do not worry, at 31 years old you have a lot of time  to met a few girls before making a decision.

 

I pay a weekly amount to my girlfriend as she live with me. 4000 B a week is plenty. Most office workers have a similar starting salary and not much holidays.

 

Why weekly,,,,  because she can not spend the monthly allowance in the first week of the month.  She actually prefer that now. Every Friday the money is transferred in her account.

 

And again,  wait until you live together.  Long distance relationship is a waste for you !

49 minutes ago, anthobkk said:

Sometimes when we fight, she often tell me "you're lucky to have me, most of thai girls, rich or not would expect the guy to pay for everything"

 

Funny my wife says exactly the same. And you are right. All girls are different. Rich or not.

3 minutes ago, sixlegs said:

The fact that you left your home country where you were socialized to have perception of man-woman relationship that is on a somewhat more modern/developed level and came to a place which has social structure and values that the other side of the world had 200-300 years ago doesn't mean you have to abandon all you have been taught before and accept everything here as part of the host culture.

Just consider how you would think about similar situation in your home country. Usually people pay salary for other people in return for some service or employment. If your girl ask for salary from you and does no other thing for you than being your girlfriend then she is a prostitute.

Don't know about that.  Ask Wendi Deng.  I knew about trophy wives when was 12 years old.  I was taught by all that is holy - you get what you pay for and there's no such thing as a free lunch- what daddy said.  Truth.