You and Alex don't have your scores showing yet, I seem to remember it will self correct eventually when this happens.

A HIGHLY UNHELPFUL GUIDE TO ROUND ONE

Titus O'Reily

Thursday

Richmond vs Carlton (MCG) 7:25pm Seven, Fox

It would be inaccurate to say ‘footy’s back’.

Some people say that it’s because the AFLW has been back for months and saying ‘footy’s back’ maligns that competition.

But really, I think you can’t say it because footy never really ends.

Between Eddie resigning, the AFL draft, the trade period, the man on the mark rule and the new concussion sub rule, did it ever really go away?

Can you come back if you never left?

At least we can say that footy is back at the MCG, and that really did go away. It left a giant hole in my heart too.

Going to the footy is the rock upon which my belief system is built.

Finally, I can walk back into a stadium, have the traditional ‘half-assed waving of the metal detector wand’, followed by the ‘has inflation spun out of control like in the Weimar Republic?’ moment when purchasing a beer and a pie, then the ‘this mid-strength beer tastes like pure sadness’ sensation.

I can’t wait.    

And for this game, due to Richmond not being able to unfurl their 2019 flag in front of fans last year, they’re going to unfurl both the 2019 and 2020 flags in front of Carlton.

That seems unnecessarily cruel.

It’s like seeking out a homeless person to tell them you’ve just bought a second house.

There will be twenty-year-old Carlton fans completely perplexed by a premiership flag but I’m sure the Richmond faithful will only be too happy to explain what they are.

Carlton have added Zac Williams and Adam Saad and this makes them a real chance to lose by slightly less tonight, which is exciting.

Friday

Collingwood vs Western Bulldogs (MCG) 7:50pm Seven, Fox

The thing that’s already making me happy about 2021, is you’re far more likely to get into a conversation about footy rather than the coronavirus.

Talking about the coronavirus wasn’t that different from talking footy. Everyone was an expert.

‘A mate of mine has heard the lockdown is going to go two more weeks because his sister’s mechanics hairdresser knows a guy who works in the health department,’ replaced wild footy speculation.

The big storyline in this game is Adam Treloar will face the side that threw him overboard to lighten the salary load that threatened to sink them.

It will also be the first game since 1999 Eddie McGuire hasn’t been president for.

McGuire bobbed up last night on Footy Classified and in his usually apologetic mode carefully explained of his remarks on the Do Better report, that ‘people took it the wrong way.’

What idiots we all are.

How the Pies will go this year is a big unknown. Under Eddie, Nathan Buckley had the job security of a Federal Minister, but now that’s gone.

The Bulldogs are thrilled to get Treloar in a fire sale, and it should really help them, their midfield is now one of the best in the league.

They should win this.

Saturday

Melbourne vs Fremantle (MCG) 1:45pm Fox

It’s ridiculous this game needed a capacity cap of 50,000. The appeal of these teams creates a natural cap that is at least half that.

It’s like putting in place a rule that I can’t date someone intelligent and attractive, completely unnecessary.

This game is terrifying to any Melbourne fan. Round one, at home, against a team that should be behind them in terms of development.

It has ‘devastating loss’ written all over it.

Everyone knows Simon Goodwin has to make finals this year or he’s gone. The Dees even brought in Mark Williams and Adem Yze and have them in the ‘break glass in case of an emergency box.

Williams is seen by some as too erratic to be a senior coach again, but he did win a premiership. I’d take erratic every time if it led to a premiership. A tight grip on reality is not a criteria I value in a coach anyway.  

Ben Brown joins the Dees to fix their forward line woes, but in typical Melbourne fashion, not only did he get injured, so did Sam Weideman. Rational thought would tell you these things aren’t linked, but this is Melbourne, and we all know they are cursed. Of course, they are linked.

Fremantle showed great progress last year, they had the look of a team that knows what it’s doing, which really stands out in the AFL.

I annoyed Freo fans in the offseason when in response to people complaining about the booing at the Australian Open, I said ‘wait until those people see a game at Optus Stadium.’

Dockers fans were quick to point out that was Eagles fans, not them.

I want to apologise to them. In no way did I mean any offence. I just completely forgot their team existed. This is an easy thing to do, The West Australian do it on a daily basis.

Fremantle to win.

Adelaide vs Geelong (AO) 4:35pm Fox

Geelong’s season doesn’t start until next week, but this live practice will be shown on Fox Footy.

As part of their youth policy, the Cats went out and got Shaun Higgins, Jeremy Cameron and Isaac Smith in the offseason.

There are RSLs with lower average ages.

It is nice to see top players go to a team that made the Grand Final last year.

Damn these AFL players wanting to go to competent clubs that have a chance of winning premierships.

Why don’t they want to go to hopeless clubs? I know the rest of us in our careers always prefer to go to jobs with terrible cultures and a history of failure. Typical AFL players thinking they’re better than us.

The Cats did lose Gary Ablett and Harry Taylor, meaning this is the first Geelong side to not have a player in it, who was alive at Federation.

Adelaide are certainly on the right track if you’re a Port supporter.

It’s going to be another long year for Crows supporters, but I’m sure they console themselves with the knowledge that their club always makes good decisions.

Cats to win.

Essendon vs Hawthorn (Marvel) 7:25pm Seven, Fox

The Bombers hold the record for the number of days without winning a final, but where most teams would relax after getting the record, Essendon seems fully committed to extending their streak.

They managed to move on Joe Daniher, Adam Saad and Orazio Fantasia over summer and another year without a finals win seems well within their reach.

Ben Rutten finally gets some clear air to coach. Last year’s set up was a bit like having a back seat driver telling you that everything you are doing is wrong.

A review by Essendon highlighted a clash over coaching philosophies between Worsfold and Rutten. File that review under ‘Reviews that teach us things everyone already knew'. You know, were 97 per cent of reviews get filed.

Hawthorn aren’t looking that good either. Apparently, they’ve got Carlton’s coach coaching them this season.

Seriously, every year people tell us Clarko is off somewhere. It’s like predicting an enormous earthquake, wait long enough and you’ll eventually be proved right I get.

This is at Marvel Stadium who earlier this week told spectators they couldn’t stand at their seats, only to change it no standing for long periods.

It makes total sense. Everyone knows you’re far less likely to catch Covid if you’re sitting down.

Essendon to win.

Brisbane vs Sydney (G) 7:45pm Fox

Brisbane will be ruing their finals exit last year, so to improve their highly inaccurate goalkicking, they went out and got… Joe Daniher.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone knows when Joe is on, it’s amazing, but that’s about as frequent as Federal Parliament sits.

Brisbane may fix his injury problems, but it’s hard to see that happening given Essendon’s medical team has been on the cutting edge of medical science in recent years.

Sydney lost Aliir Aliir in the offseason, deciding Port’s offer was too long and too expensive to match.

Instead, they’ve focused on a two-track strategy. On one track they’re trying to get as many games as possible into a young core of players. On the other track, they’re trying to get as little games as possible into Lance Franklin.

Will we see Buddy back on the field this year? It’s possible. I mean we could find a Tasmanian Tiger this year too, or Cameron Ling could say something insightful on commentary.

Lots of things are possible, even if the odds are extremely low.  

Brisbane to win.

Sunday

Tasmania vs Port Adelaide (Marvel) 1:10pm Fox

The Kangaroos spent the offseason building a team to compete for 18th spot on the ladder and their list should have them in contention.

They parted company with Ben Brown in the off-season. Brown said, ‘I want out’ and like me at the end of a relationship, North yelled ‘Well I was about to dump you anyway!” I’m not sure if the Kangaroos then ran to their room and cried for three days, but I suspect they did.

To their credit, they did recruit Jaidyn Stephenson, after driving past the Holden Centre on hard rubbish day and seeing him just sitting there.

While North fans don’t have anything to look forward to this year, Port fans can barely contain themselves.

They would do well to temper their expectations, however. The jury is, after all, still out on whether Port Adelaide can fill the enormous Jack Watts shaped hole in their roster.

Port recruited Aliir Aliir and Orazio Fantasia in the offseason, making them the team you’ll most hate to watch while BT is commentating.

Port to win.

Greater Western Sydney vs St Kilda (GS) 3:20pm Seven, Fox

The Giants saw Jeremy Cameron, Zac Williams and Zac Langdon leave over the offseason, so to steady the ship they appointed Toby Greene vice-captain.

So derivative. The Australian Cricket team appointed David Warner ages ago.

Warner certainly showed us that appointing someone with discipline issues to back up the Captain works wonders.

Luckily, the Giants have Stephen Coniglio, who they’ve always backed in as captain 100 per cent.

The Giants did get Jesse Hogan, and as someone who has always seemed to dislike the AFL spotlight, in Western Sydney, he should now be the happiest he’s ever been,

St Kilda picked up Brad Crouch and Jack Higgins over summer and will be hoping they can continue building on the rather excellent season they had last year.

Brett Ratten’s side showed uncharacteristic periods of competency last years and if they can just increase their duration, well, something unlike St Kilda could happen.

Saints to win.

West Coast vs Gold Coast (OS) 6:10pm Fox

Willie Rioli will return this season. You couldn’t miss that news, especially in Western Australia, with The West Australian newspaper publishing an eight-page wrap around to mark the occasion.

I’m glad they didn’t go over the top.

The Eagles should have a much better season this year given they don’t have to visit Queensland so often.

Not since Campbell Newman has someone performed so badly in Queensland.

Gold Coast continue to build around a young core of Matt Rowell, Noah Anderson, Ben King, Izak Rankine and Jack Lukosius.

The Suns are as young as Geelong are old. Like last year, I expect them to do well early before succumbing to the grind of the season.

The AFL season is like parenting. It starts off excitingly, progressively gets hard, then you just wish it was over.

At least in the AFL season there’s a winner in the end.

West Coast to win.

 

On 3/18/2021 at 11:48 AM, AlexRRR said:

Chooks is a slack moderator......

Which 2 don't post 

Well there is a need to fixup the 50m penalty men....for not having ur feet glued to the ground Tigers got 2 goals.....yet last night one jack in the box bouncing around didnt get pinged....time to have shorter yards for lesser infringements men....even heaven forbid scrap the 50 to start with...a dam god blight on the game....

Think Rip will be enjoying a few Leo's tonight.

Picked Hawthorn and his boys are giving Brisbane a touch up.

Enjoy mate.

1 hour ago, Will27 said:

Think Rip will be enjoying a few Leo's tonight.

Picked Hawthorn and his boys are giving Brisbane a touch up.

Enjoy mate.

I am upset(my original word was deleted)  re tipping. Changed this morning from Swans  to Brisbane. It was a great win by the Swans. Changed from Leo to Chang. Now that is another story. Go the Swans

Umm might have to change my tip.  Saints have 9 players out and a saturated ground in Sydney.  

Well Gang

That's round 1 over.

 

Four picked six with Rip getting the Milky Bars for being closest to the margin.

 

Rip

Ozzy

Wendy's and

Uncle Alex are the top 4.

 

Until next time.

This would be the first time in years i got off to a half decent start....i could have won the division  if the Dee’s hadn’t traumatised me over the years....

 

Did anyone notice Simone has been reading my posts here? Wayne boy Harmes played as a mid forward kicking 2 goals.......Gawn going forward swapping with Jackson...and praise be to the one up high number 29 J Hunt left to play a running out of defense half back flanker game........did say i know my team better than the coach you know.....

 

Anyway Williams has his work cut out for him this week...they still cant kick it into the forward area....and find a target.....better teach them how to lead to a running midfielder too .....

 

And i did say the Crows wont be anywhere near the bottom by seasons end men....Saints on crutches nail GWS....how lovely it was to see the purrrrrrs go down with the soon to be centrelink  tragics lining up for there pension......

 

Bombers are bad....to stop dear 40 points up....and get run i over by the rebuilding Hawks......Eagles ummmm not convincing WILL......

Might be worth remembering that the Crows will be playing home games in Adelaide this year, they'll give any side difficulties there, they have in the past and  will continue to do so.

The umpires, of course, will continue to discriminate against them in out of town games... ????

25 minutes ago, sceadugenga said:

Might be worth remembering that the Crows will be playing home games in Adelaide this year, they'll give any side difficulties there, they have in the past and  will continue to do so.

The umpires, of course, will continue to discriminate against them in out of town games... ????

The flaw in you argument is that the Crows played 10 games out of 17 in Adelaide last year season.

 

Just saying????

Its like the city morgue in here men.....

 

To help awaken the corvid era TV tipping contest i will give my few crackers worth in the up and coming week 2,....

 

Ho by the way masks are off from 6pm friday and their raised it to 75% admissions to games in the soked state of Victoria....we been getting a lot of Gold Cost and Sydney weather recently and today were meant to get out the tinnies as the roads are expected to be under water...im off the freeways if i can already had some pile ups and you know.......no brians particular in the suv's they just hog the road and run you down and have you noticed the Mazda suv 5 something like that is the size of a truck and most of them are women drivers during the day....monday to friday then big fella drives them on the weekend..... its also getting harder to go up side streets, these tanks are like huge....and wide...

 

Thus night.....Blues oh yes over the hapless Pies no not a forgone conclusion as there is fight in them Magpies but its about stepping up so its case closed....

 

Cats at home to the Lions....well i pity the Lions this week and i did predict the Lions to be the tumblers....even i have little faith in dads army there good to go around again but....warning warning WILL Robinson should the Lions win Scott is gone.....well WILL be on tender hooks for the rest of the season...

 

Swans over the Crows in Sydney if not post pond......Longmire WILL be admired from afar.....by North and there supporters...But Johnny dont want to be based in Hobart after 10 ys on the Harbour which at the present time cannot be distinguished between the burb of Liverpool and Darling harbour....

 

Port in the city of churches over the stop dead Bombers......what is this? massacre at ok coral? now that Jackie Watts has gone there is some life in the Power....im not sold on them and there looking to make me eat my words......we WILL see....

 

Ho dear....Saints at Marvel over the Dee's....well a win is a win of course and im happy to take it but we dont go well here...they either terrorise us or we do it to them....Dee's could pull this off if they can do a bit better going forward which i have little faith in men.....the Saints are on crutches but more than capable of winning its line ball here but all those years at the foot of the ladder have left me with no faith in the red and blue...

 

Match of the round....Suns should get over the Roos if they can find the football ground....like it will be 5meters under water by saturday....its a long year for the Roos and the end product is similar to Fitzroy.....they WILL end up in Hobart...and mind you it WILL self inflicted....

 

Hawks at home to the Tigers......the cubs wont stand on a 40 point lead....no sir.....

 

Bulldogs @ Marvel against Eagles......at the moment the Dogs are red hot favourites......ummmm they weren't that convincing......im leaning towards the Eagles but WILL have to wait to see who is in and out...

 

Freo @ optus......against GWS.....ummm......well they weren't bad and they weren't good and there going to struggle in this game and thats both of them....flip a coin and go for the home team.....

 

Ps i didnt think Dangerfield's bumb warranted a charge....wasnt like it was dirty or after play......

 

What may make a difference in Dees and Saints game is Hibbered Viney and Melksham are up for a test for saturday.....while the Saints have no one ready to return....

 

Poor Mat Rowell who i took under my wing in fantasy last year is out with a knee again....like this guy is the next Daniher....WILL end ups playing 50 games and retire at 25...

Laugh?? Scott Sterling parody...........cops multiple 'falcons' playing volleyball and soccer.......and no concussion rules  

 

 

 

In the name of political correctness and inclusion the AFL is going to be rebranded.  AFL will go and we will have AFLM & AFLW.

 

This isn't a joke, happening 

20 hours ago, Thechook said:

In the name of political correctness and inclusion the AFL is going to be rebranded.  AFL will go and we will have AFLM & AFLW.

 

This isn't a joke, happening 

I looked around for news on this and nothing.....To change the name is down right stupid and where i come from AFL includes men and now them butch sheiles known as the AFLW....

 

Dont know of any other league or association that is big time doing a dumb thing like that and, think were all grown up enough in 2021 to realise AFL means both men and women..... Well Gil could paint a sign on his forehead that hes el presidents of the mens and women's league....that should be enough....

 

I blame Megan Markle and Prince Harry for this....i might have to go out to central Australia did a big hole climb in and forget about everything....(eyes rolling in socket...)

Well im OFF the Blues band wagon Radar....there were poo last night......had that game and Storm Panthers game on the other half of my big monitor...and the rugby was more exciting men......

 

Storm lead most of the game untill about 5 min to go when Panthers mind you this is the GF reply hit the front...BUT...all drama till the very end.....last play of the drive with 20 seconds on the clock......... Storm get a try...like it was pure Normandy type stuff...storming the beaches....they kept the ball in play for like 30 seconds them slammed it over the line........seems play stops when the play is dead.....disallowed....Craig Bellamy was jumping around the coaches box like a kangaroo men......they have wide shoulders up there you know....

 

Meanwhile that other Melbourne Club the Victory went down again 4-1 to Wellington...... during the week......sitting comfy on the bottom of the ladder reports already circulation that Del Pedro is shopping for a new coach.....mind you he was 100% behind Grant just last week....and Grant came out the poor guy.....during his news conference....." i wont turn away from this sort of thing" the extreme optimist....i watch that game and was in total pain from head to foot....pretty sure he hasn't got the team....this is 2 seasons in a row that Del Pedro hasn't got the coaching appointment right....only trouble is he owns half the club so aint getting fired......

 

Newcastle United 2 points from the drop zone...the YouTuber and advent United fan i watch sometimes has come to accept there going down....a very big rugby type looking player he is....tatts everywhere a giant of a man was like all meek last show.....Steve Bruce has got Mike Ashley's blessing to keep on coaching....mind you every one else has been calling for his sacking since mid season.....the latest theory is that Mike WILL do a sell off of players to make some $$$$ once down and is still expected to sell the club....but my maths and there maths dont add up......there of course in pain....im not....there theory is that Mike is still selling United to the Arabs for the same money and making a squillion on player sales because the Arabs want to build a new team from scratch with new coach...... thats what there telling themselves......hence save some money on Bruce's sacking....well where i come from the EPL wont give them a licence and as a Championship club WILL be worth 100 million less.....

 

NFL is all year round.....since the end of the season i was flabbergasted at the amount of NFL youtube shows going around and what they can and do talk about.....Star Quarter back with a contract mind you Watson has told the Texans he WILL never play for them again.....rated at number 1 in the NFL by a mile in a <deleted> team was told they wont trade...Huston has missed the bus men...they could have got 3 first round picks, players and a bunch of lesser pics but held firm....now D Watson has been accused of sexual miss play with masseurs etc and something like 24 women have come out and said it......Pretty hard for him too be going back to Huston men......just prior to this coming out the Patriots were emerging as a suitor and we all know what there like....Bellichekic dont like this sort of thing....it could throw a spanner in the works....the Pats have been the biggest movers in FA over there and assembled a play off team....no longer the only team in there division Bills having emerged this season.....Russell Wilson Seahawks QB made waves too....regarded as one of the top 5 in the league came out and named a number of teams he would play for forcing the team to "fix ups the offence" apparently Russ got his nose out of joint watching Tom Brady NOT get sacked during the superbowel....poor Russ gets sacked a lot....hes got a spunky wife too....

Nice work by FJ in picking the Pies.

 

I got fooled again by the Blues.

Well i'm at boiling point.

Cats v Lions game was Over umpired until the last incorrect disposal in the goal square,fuming.????

1 hour ago, farmerjo said:

Well i'm at boiling point.

Cats v Lions game was Over umpired until the last incorrect disposal in the goal square,fuming.????

I'm hearing you FJ.

 

The ump didn't have the minerals to make a decision.

Lions were robbed.

 

Edit: As was Rip in the tipping.

14 hours ago, Will27 said:

I'm hearing you FJ.

 

The ump didn't have the minerals to make a decision.

Lions were robbed.

 

Edit: As was Rip in the tipping.

Yep definitely robbed of a win

Well, I have done it again.after cheering on the Demons through their outstanding win,I check and find I tipped the Saints????

1 hour ago, ozzydom said:

Well, I have done it again.after cheering on the Demons through their outstanding win,I check and find I tipped the Saints????

I suppose these moments are to be expected in your eighties but to make it worse I  got so involved I bought on an angina attack.

10 hours ago, ozzydom said:

I suppose these moments are to be expected in your eighties but to make it worse I  got so involved I bought on an angina attack.

Jeez mate

You need to take it easy.

 

Enjoy your wins buddy.

18 hours ago, ozzydom said:

Well, I have done it again.after cheering on the Demons through their outstanding win,I check and find I tipped the Saints????

If it makes you feel better, I tipped them also and their skills and desire to win were appalling.  I turned off at 1/2 time and went to bed 

Cracking game of footy against the Bulldogs.

Cripps kicking into the man on the mark in the goal square killed us.

 

Oh well, an easy one next week in Port????

What a bunch of rabble are GWS, such a poor display from a team of guns indicates deeper problems , 

Afraid Camerons coaching career is in deep poo-poo.

Well Trend Setters

That's it for round 2.

 

Radar has gotten the Mars Bars this week for tipping 8.

 

Uncle Alex has capped off a good weekend by being on top of the ladder.

 

Until next time.

Well done Radar.

3 hours ago, Will27 said:

Cracking game of footy against the Bulldogs.

Cripps kicking into the man on the mark in the goal square killed us.

 

Oh well, an easy one next week in Port????

Best game of the round with two different methods it was edge of the seat stuff all game.

Eagles goal kicking was exceptional in general.