Am I still married?

[happylarry]

As it takes both parties to divorce at an amphur and as it has not been over one year for grounds for a divorce at court, then the answer to your first question is “yes” you are still married.

Next question, can you get divorced without returning to Thailand and the answer is yes and no......lol

Let me explain, the court divorce is in two parts, first there is a negotiation hearing with both parties and their lawyers and a presiding judge to arbitrate, but if there can be no agreement then the case goes to a full court hearing where the judge will hear all evidence and come to a decision.

Ok, you can give power of attorney to someone to represent you at the negotiation hearing but if it goes to the full hearing then you need to appear in person.

My wife has in the past represented a client from the USA and the case was settled at the negotiation and he even got 50% of the house, so yes it can be done without you coming back.

HL

[Emdog]

Scratch Thailand off your list, never come back (if you value your life). I wonder if you could get marriage annulled? One month marriage... Make out a new will might be a good idea. Leave her 50 satang.

[wtfracing]

Contact Sebastian at Isaan Lawyers he may be able to help you or give you the advice you require.

[luk AJ]

Also it's worth saying that she tried to rope me back into supporting her after I left.  After she had already sold all my engagement jewelry.  One of the items was worth over one hundred thousand baht.  She managed to fly home from bangkok to esan.  She was obviously out of money just one month later because she took the bus from udon back to chon buri.  Where did the money go to?  Hmmm.  She did manage to stop at the salon that costs about 1000 baht to have her hair and nails done on the way back.  Thai girls.  Never cease to amaze me.  This will be the last one of them for me.  She really fits the bill for the typical pattaya marriage schemer.  I'm just a total dumbass for falling for it.  Anyway, I think the best advice has already been given.  Wait it out.  Im laid up in a hospital here through at least December anyway.  When I am well enough to go back oconus I am going to give India a try.  I don't think I should involve myself with thailand or Thai affairs again after this.  It's time to move on.

1000Baht for nails and hair? I would be filled with Joy! Mine spend well over 5000 Baht for the same. I am more concerned about your health as this seems an unusual long time in hospital. Many of us went through a divorce so don’t worry too much, as so many posters advised, time will heal. What always amazes me is that Thai girls can be so sweet and lovely but the moment anything happens what they don’t like, they can instantly turn into real gremlins! The gates of hell open, breathing dragon fire, swearing and cursing, breaking everything what is breakable followed by threats, voodoo, blackmail, physical attacks, and last but not least suck the life (and money) out of you until everything goes dark. What a relieve, I feel much better now! [emoji41]


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[Tagged]

7 minutes ago, luk AJ said:

1000Baht for nails and hair? I would be filled with Joy! Mine spend well over 5000 Baht for the same. I am more concerned about your health as this seems an unusual long time in hospital. Many of us went through a divorce so don’t worry too much, as so many posters advised, time will heal. What always amazes me is that Thai girls can be so sweet and lovely but the moment anything happens what they don’t like, they can instantly turn into real gremlins! The gates of hell open, breathing dragon fire, swearing and cursing, breaking everything what is breakable followed by threats, voodoo, blackmail, physical attacks, and last but not least suck the life (and money) out of you until everything goes dark. What a relieve, I feel much better now!


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The 1000 bath hair and nails and jewelry 100 000’s bath is the bate ????

 

 

[peterb17]

Jorge, does not anybody ( unless you have left your brain in the lockers at the airport ) realise that marriage is a really serious legal matter. 

 It’s an undertaking that should carefully be considered anywhere  in the world - and perhaps more so in the Kingdom- where vast swathes of the population are very poor.

 

See a lawyer -not try to sort out your life on Thaivisa! 

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

However, government agencies and private companies are aware of the fact that I am "married". 

Never tell anyone your business, especially government agencies.

[BritManToo]

13 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

She's heisted thousands from me since the outset of our relationship.

That's how marriage works.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

She was obviously out of money just one month later because she took the bus from udon back to chon buri. 

Getting the bus is entirely normal in Thailand, I do it too, doesn't mean I've run out of money.

[SOTIRIOS]

...buddy...reading between the lines...doesn't seem like you have learned your lesson...

 

...she did not get everything she wanted out of you...

 

...has marked you as 'weak'....and seems to think she can lure you back for more punishment with the Facebook posts...

 

...sad to say...she may be right...why are you still friends with her...and following her...???

 

...then you state...'needs to have resided in The States 6 months' in order to divorce her...

 

...!@#$%^&*(...makes you sound like 'a glutton for punishment'...

 

...am quite sure there are way to annul the marriage without coming back here...

 

...do some research first...

 

..avoid engaging lawyers...but seek out free advice on their web sites...

 

...you may have some friends here who can get some info for you too...and even sign necessary annulment papers so that you will never have to come here again...

 

...after 2 years apart...she cannot contest it, I believe...

 

...change your contact details and cut off all connections with her...

 

...somehow I doubt that you will...

 

...good luck....

 

 

 

 

[Ebumbu]

Disappear. And have any assets disappear. The end. 

[fordguy61mi]

I bet you can file for divorce in your state, make an honest attempt at serving her papers, and if she doesn’t respond in a certain amount of time, they’ll grant the divorce. My ex-wife was from here in the states, but she never responded to anything and didn’t show up for the court date and I was granted a divorce. That’s what I’d do.

[Lacessit]

Delete all social media , change your email address and phone number. DO NOT communicate with her. Eventually she will divorce you so she can play someone else.

Why worry about it? Put down your marital status as "separated". Very unlikely she will be coming to America to find you. Vietnam and the Philippines are acceptable alternatives for your travels..

Everyone should  learn from their mistakes. Good luck.

[KhaoYai]

51 minutes ago, Ebumbu said:

Disappear. And have any assets disappear. The end. 

He doesn't need to do either. Unless he has bought something of significance SINCE they were married, she has no claim against him whatsoever. Even if he has bought something, after such a short marriage, it is unikely that the courts would grant his wife anything.

[Stevemercer]

Unless I'm missing something, I would have thought you had to register your Thai marriage in the US before you are 'legally' married in the states. Until/if you do, there would be no need to say anything officially.

 

Unless you are in a hurry to marry again, you should wait until she contacts you for a divorce.

 

If you want a divorce from her, you will have to negotiate a 'settlement' fee with her before she'll agree to a divorce on mutual grounds under Thai law. Of course you will have to fly to Thailand to do it.

 

It depends who cracks first (in terms of wanting a divorce) - you or her. In any case your non-Thai assets are safe from her whatever happens (assuming you do not register your marriage under US law).

[Captain 776]

You don’t have to do ANYTHING.......NOTHING AT ALL.

 

Just turn the page n move on with your life, NO ONE will ever know u married this Bar Fly But you.

Just be happy you found out now and left without serious drama.

 

I am NOT dissing you.....NOT at all.

There is a constant never ending supply of guys getting off every inbound flight that fall in love and marry the first prostitute they meet and 99.9% end in disaster like u describe.

No young bar gives a flying ******* about any guy from anywhere that is more than twice her age.......SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU..........SHE NEVER WILL.......you are hr stupid ATM.........they all laugh at you and call you BUFF-A-RO.

Actually........she HATES you, but the play the game to play YOU.

 

You got off extremely easy.......trust me, I have lived here 14 yrs.........at least you didn’t get thrown off a high floor of a tall building like many do.

 

Countless guys like you have “F A L L E N “ off HIGH flood at View Talay and other buildings in Pattaya.

walk away......SMILE and never LQQk back.........you did ok

[SenorJorge]

3 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

You don’t have to do ANYTHING.......NOTHING AT ALL.

 

Just turn the page n move on with your life, NO ONE will ever know u married this Bar Fly But you.

Just be happy you found out now and left without serious drama.

 

I am NOT dissing you.....NOT at all.

There is a constant never ending supply of guys getting off every inbound flight that fall in love and marry the first prostitute they meet and 99.9% end in disaster like u describe.

No young bar gives a flying ******* about any guy from anywhere that is more than twice her age.......SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU..........SHE NEVER WILL.......you are hr stupid ATM.........they all laugh at you and call you BUFF-A-RO.

Actually........she HATES you, but the play the game to play YOU.

 

You got off extremely easy.......trust me, I have lived here 14 yrs.........at least you didn’t get thrown off a high floor of a tall building like many do.

 

Countless guys like you have “F A L L E N “ off HIGH flood at View Talay and other buildings in Pattaya.

walk away......SMILE and never LQQk back.........you did ok

When she told her sister about me on the phone the first thing I heard was "money money money!!!!".  Obvious what they were after.

 

What I did was insanely stupid but I got off light in comparison of others and I do realise that.

 

To the other poster.. The six months I talked about is my states law.  She can't divorce me in America using the Thai marriage unless she lives here for six months first.  She can divorce me in thailand and I am sure she will eventually.  I really don't care what any Thai judge orders because I am going to be living there anymore.

[SenorJorge]

2 hours ago, luk AJ said:

 I would be filled with Joy! Mine spend well over 5000 Baht for the same. I am more concerned about your health as this seems an unusual long time in hospital.

I appreciate the concern.  What is wrong with me won't kill me but it makes life not worth living.  Health definitely takes top priority over all else.  My worrying about all this doesn't help matters and as others have stated I need to let this simmer out and die in the land of frowns.  She will find a new one, get him drunk, get him to pay for her divorce and freedom to marry affidavit.. Not my problem anymore.  Thanks to those who helped me stop beating myself up over this for so long.  I'm two times a sucker marrying se Asian girls.  Finally learned my lesson.  Never again.

[steven100]

but this one's different I tell you …..  ????

[mike787]

Checking on the marriage status, ubonjoe is the equivalent of  book of knowledge...try him.

Congratulations on getting out sooner than later, you are not and will NOT be the last guy a Thai women will try to destroy.  It's likely happening right now to a good man. So no worries if you never get back to Thailand, there are far better options, women, and places to see.  

[steven100]

But in honesty I am very sorry to hear your plight.

All I can say and as has been said already …. you got out and that's good, it could have been far worse so forget that bridge as it's over and forgotten … move on to brighter and better days  !!

Meet a nice girl but just as friends and that's it. 

[Tagged]

12 minutes ago, mike787 said:

Checking on the marriage status, ubonjoe is the equivalent of  book of knowledge...try him.

Congratulations on getting out sooner than later, you are not and will NOT be the last guy a Thai women will try to destroy.  It's likely happening right now to a good man. So no worries if you never get back to Thailand, there are far better options, women, and places to see.  

The question is who is destroying who? Dont we all have responsibillity for our own happiness? 

 

Marry a Thai woman, who you do not know the background of, known for years, do not her family or friends. 

 

The first warning is she talk bad about her friends, her x boyfriend, ask for money, broken phone, want you to buy gold, and accidently happenings to the family you asked for money to pay for. It is just basic rules. There is no easy way to happiness with a girl anywhere in the world. You just have to take your time, and it is 50/50 chance you will make it. In thailand even harder if you only find the easy going ones, and fall for their sweet talks. 

 

Take a hard look at your self, and find someone who actually care about you. But, that could be the hardest part of it. Takes a bit aknownledge about your self, where and which league you belongs to. 

 

We need to do our mistakes, but give up learning and do better next time? 

[Arkady]

If she won't cooperate in an amicable divorce at the district office, you can file for divorce in the Thai Family Court once you have been separated for 3 years.  If she refuses to cooperate and misses court appearances, it could be a time consuming and costly process which is what you want to avoid.  If she doesn't want to remarry, is is going to cost you some money.  You will wither have to go through the full court process which will cost money or offer her some cash to agree to an amicable divorce.  A Thai friend of mine who was sued for divorce by a farang guy had to pay a decent Thai lawyer B200,000 to represent her over two court hearings which ended up in a settlement in which she did quite well.  There were also some court fees to pay.  Her farang husband probably a lot more to an unlicensed farang lawyer, who had to hire a proper Thai lawyer plus a translator. I went to the court hearings and my friend's lawyer, a professor at Chula law school, was able to run rings around the farang's team who really didn't seem to understand Thai divorce law properly and thought they would be able to get away without dividing the property he had bought in Thailand after they got married.  The farang would have saved himself a lot of time, trouble and money, if he had made a reasonable offer in the first place without the need to go to court.

 

That's just an example to show that it could be very expensive, time consuming and tedious to divorce her in court. If there are multiple hearings where she fails to show up, it could cost even more. Your best option is to keep quiet for two or three years, if you are in no hurry to remarry, and wait to see, if she comes up with her own reason to get a divorce.  If not, your best option may be to offer her a sum of money to cooperate in an amicable divorce. In your case, since you have no assets in Thailand and a court would probably not order any settlement, she can't reasonably expect to get a huge amount of money.   

[Tony125]

1 hour ago, SenorJorge said:

I appreciate the concern.  What is wrong with me won't kill me but it makes life not worth living.  Health definitely takes top priority over all else.  My worrying about all this doesn't help matters and as others have stated I need to let this simmer out and die in the land of frowns.  She will find a new one, get him drunk, get him to pay for her divorce and freedom to marry affidavit.. Not my problem anymore.  Thanks to those who helped me stop beating myself up over this for so long.  I'm two times a sucker marrying se Asian girls.  Finally learned my lesson.  Never again.

#1 Yes you are still married.    #2 You haven't  learned your lesson as you mentioned going to try India next. Really? India is part of Asia by the way.    #3 Since you are legally married to her you would not be free to marry anyone else anywhere as you could not truthfully fill out a free to marry affidavit at  a US Embassy. Personally know an Irish guy who lost all property aquired here as he was still married in Ireland. Thai court ruled since he was not free to marry as he signed the marriage was null and void since he committed fraud.  #4 Since you say the Government knows about your marriage she will be entitled to yous Social Security benefits and possibly any pension you may have.

[Dogmatix]

A good acid test for a relationship is to imagine that either of you is so unfortunate as to be disfigured and crippled in a car accident.  Would she stay with you, take care of you and try her best to support you both? Would you do the same for your erstwhile pretty Asian trophy wife, if it happened to her?  Two negatives.  Ah, I thought so.  Then move on. 

[Gracas]

8 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

She did manage to stop at the salon that costs about 1000 baht to have her hair and nails done on the way back.  Thai girls.  Never cease to amaze me. 

This is just a business expense for many girls, Just like paying electricity and water for other businesses.

[BritManToo]

19 minutes ago, Dogmatix said:

A good acid test for a relationship is to imagine that either of you is so unfortunate as to be disfigured and crippled in a car accident.  Would she stay with you, take care of you and try her best to support you both? Would you do the same for your erstwhile pretty Asian trophy wife, if it happened to her?  Two negatives.  Ah, I thought so.  Then move on. 

Not that good a test, if you've got the money they'd still bang you if you looked like Frankenstein's monster.

[scorecard]

19 hours ago, Tagged said:

Where is your marriage papers? If you married her, your are still married if you have not been back to a ampur and annulated the marriage. It takes both of you to sign and each one ned two witnesses to sign the oapers ro. You will also need to bring the original papers, if not you need to go back to the same ampur you married. 

Question to the original poster; what type of wedding did you have:

 

- A traditional village wedding but with no official documents? Or...

- An official ceremony at the local amphur (government) office, receiving an official marriage certificate?  

[SenorJorge]

I said I want to try living in India next.  Good weather and lower cost of living. Better hospitals than bangkok. I said nothing about Indian women.

 

Arkady, thanks for the long and thoughtful reply.  But she won't be getting any money from me.  If she won't divorce me in thailand then I will just never go back and remain "married" to her until I die.  I have no family or close friends and it really doesn't matter. 

 

I have no desire whatsoever to live in thailand again.  Unless she gets a divorce, I really don't care what happens there.

[SenorJorge]

2 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Question to the original poster; what type of wedding did you have:

 

- A traditional village wedding but with no official documents? Or...

- An official ceremony at the local amphur (government) office, receiving an official marriage certificate?  

We got the dreaded certificate.  Thank you