Why do Thai people ignore Foreigners when they are speaking and begin speaking over them, interrupting them?

[ravip]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO an immigrant wants to become a part of the country, an expat just wants to live there.

I had no desire to become part of Thai culture- I don't like cruelty to animals, corruption, driving dangerously or worshipping an elephant statue. I liked living there though, as long as it was on my terms.

I have no idea why so many farangs think being able to converse with Thais about food is so important. I had enough Thai to get by, and that was all I needed.

It's an individual thing, isn't it? If someone wants to be a white Thai- up to them, but don't get all superior about it and think oneself is better than a farang that doesn't.

I fitted in fine, to the parts I wanted to, and no Thais ever complained about it, except my wife when she was telling me that it's "Thai culture" to support her family ( soon to be my ex family ).

 

Re Thais speaking over me; when I was with my wife she did the talking, and when I was alone they didn't.

"I liked living there though, as long as it was on my terms."

Now who wouldn't like this, in ANY country? You are joking, aren't you?

 

[Fex Bluse]

44 minutes ago, FredGallaher said:

You really don't seem to like being in Thailand.  You seem to know very little about what's going on around you, so why do you stay? Maybe you are trapped in you own world. Probably time to seek greener pastures.

Fred - mate, are various forms of 

 

'if you don't line it, leave' 

 

the only like of discourse you have in your arsenal? 

 

I ask because it gets rather tedious, and it does nothing to advance the discussion. 

 

I am confident I know more about Thailand than you. I am invited to events here that people you read about and have never met get invited to. I don't want to give myself away, but rest assured some of us with poor opinions of Thailand are not average working class, fixed income retirees. 

 

So, it would be ideal for you to temper your opinions with thr fact that you are not #1 here. I'm not either. 

 

Some of us don't think twice to buy a merc, for fun here. Some of us brush shoulders regularly with Thai soap stars and exceptionally wealthy Thais. Some of us speak Thai fluently. 

 

And STILL have a dismal opinion of Thailand. 

 

Don't focus on the people with the opinions; focus on the opinions themselves. Making baseless assumptions about people's reasons for being here is a waste of everyone's time. 

[Fex Bluse]

1 hour ago, FredGallaher said:

You quite elegantly tell everyone how little you really know about others. Do your exceptionally wealthy and influential friends agree  with your vitreal. If they exist at all. 

I have never arrogantly referred to myself as better than others. However not being Brit it hard for me to appreciate such class distinctions. 

I do speak proper polite Thai and am always welcomed to events here. 

What makes you stay when you hate it here?

 

I stay because I like debating with you. 

 

Can we put this 'if you don't like it' and it's various other forms like 'why do you stay' to bed now? 

 

I mean, does my answer satisfy your curiosity? 

[fhickson]

On 9/10/2019 at 2:58 PM, Fex Bluse said:

I stay because I like debating with you. 

 

Can we put this 'if you don't like it' and it's various other forms like 'why do you stay' to bed now? 

 

I mean, does my answer satisfy your curiosity? 

tell them to shut up just like you would in your country of origin

 

there is no rule you have to be polite more then you ordinarily would just because your traveling in another country

[tifino]

In your answers; all they expect from you, is a Yes or a No 

 - they don't want the details... 

[BritManToo]

On 9/9/2019 at 2:18 PM, Fex Bluse said:

I am confident I know more about Thailand than you. I am invited to events here that people you read about and have never met get invited to. I don't want to give myself away, but rest assured some of us with poor opinions of Thailand are not average working class, fixed income retirees. 

I wouldn't attend any event that invited people like me.

[daveAustin]

You gotta learn the lingo bro, there's no way around it, and then don't be concerned with politely speaking over them.

[ravip]

16 hours ago, fhickson said:

tell them to shut up just like you would in your country of origin

 

there is no rule you have to be polite more then you ordinarily would just because your traveling in another country

I would take your advice with a pinch of salt - it might save my inflated ego... at the cost of my life or limb, under certain circumstances.

[1happykamper]

On this topic... While I have observed similar situations... I have an ever bigger peve....

When I am speaking BASIC THAI there is often ZERO effort put in by a Thai person to listen to me! Oftentimes... The person I'm trying to talk to... Immediately Waves for a colleague to come over and "speak to this farang". So bloody rude! I might not have exactly the right tone... Or accent... I get this... But geez... I wish they would listen and realize I'm speaking in Thai!

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk

[Pancho]

before you head out on your sortie, snap a few photos of whatever it is you are trying to communicate. a picture is worth a thousand words, AND it allows the person you are dealing with A) to complete their task, B) gives the person face by successfully dealing with our hopelessly thick species( farang) . Harmony is restored all smile.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[NaamGin]

On 9/1/2019 at 11:53 AM, FritsSikkink said:

Instead of complaining about Thai culture, start learning the language of the country you are living in.

Doesn't change a thing. I speak, read and write Thai, but that does not stop Thais from trying to talk over me to make a point with my wife. My wife usually tells them to talk to me. 

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, NaamGin said:

Doesn't change a thing. I speak, read and write Thai, but that does not stop Thais from trying to talk over me to make a point with my wife. My wife usually tells them to talk to me. 

Must be you then, I haven't got that problem. 

[scorecard]

Why do so many farang sit and talks to their farang friends, often for a couple of hours or more and expect their Thai female (or male) partner to sit there being ignored and no idea what the conversation is all about?

[safarimike11]

On 9/1/2019 at 9:45 AM, ezzra said:

It's really a case of mined over matter, they the Thai people don't mind and foreigners don't matter...

This happened to me a couple of months ago: I was in a Tesco Lotus Express. I had a number of items in my basket and went to the checkout - one of 3 checkouts. I got to the front and the girl served me. She had just billed all the items and told me the total cost and I paid her. She was about to give me my change and this Thai woman customer pushed in front of me with a packet of noodles. The check-out girl (who was probably new) stopped serving me to attend to this other customer; she already had the till open, so I said to this customer (something like): "She is serving me; why can't you wait until we are finished?" The customer said: "Just moment" - by which she meant that I could wait / it was okay for her to push in being as she was just buying a packet of noodles. By this time I had lost it and said: "No, not just a ****ing moment; she is serving me / I was first / you can wait till I am finished". By this time there were 2 other women waiting in my queue, and I said to them: "What, is it okay for her to push in in front of me because I'm not Thai"? (completely wasted as they obviously couldn't understand a word of English). By now, the checkout girl was completely flustered and just handed me my change. Not the first or last time this type of thing has happened.

[Donutz]

On 9/1/2019 at 9:07 AM, Yinn said:

I know my English is not good. My teacher recommend this forum for training English. When I read the English textbook for ten minutes I want to sleep. This is quite fun. 

I know I am late to the party, but I have to respond to this. I think you ate doing the right thing, classes can be rather boring and interaction on a forum is a good way to improve your English. I used to be an absolute failure when it came to English,  low marks etc. But when my English became passable I went to English forums. It improved my writing skills by a lot. It was not only good for my English but also to learn about various worldviews (such as some crazy gun loving Americans). Currently my Thai is rather poor, too poor to hang out on say Pantip, but in 2 years or so from now I do plan to hang out on Thai forums or groups. 

 

Ontopic: I think attitude goes a long way. Be patient,  polite and when  you know there is a language barrier, speak a bit slowly and clearly, try in to throw in some Thai. I don't recall any rude interruptions from staff,  but then I kept my sentences short  (and so would any staff) and only if we were able to communicate would go from there. So I may walk up to a staffer and say 'sawatdee khrap, can you help me?' And wait for their rraponse. If they don't speak English I may give a try with my still very limited Thai. If they reply positively in English, I go with that (and get scolded by my Thai language teacher for not practising my Thai while on holiday 555).

 

I can see it happening that if somebody is emptying a waterfall of foreign words, the other side feels the need to interrupt since listening to a load of words and sentences that they don't understand gets them no where. If a Thai opens a barrage of words at me, I too might interrupted with a 'koh throat na khrap, mai khao Thai, put Thai mai dai/ nit noi'. 

[ZigM]

I've read a few interesting responses here but they don't answer the question. I was married to a Thai for 15 years and, oddly enough, my fiancé is now also Thai. It is telling that despite a huge age gap between my ex and my new wife, both act the same. This goes for all 10 or so Thai females that I know relatively well. I believe I have a general answer to this question. I recently retired from work and reside permanently in Thailand. I still experience the same issues - and always have.

 

For background, Thais are generally absorbed with their appearances, saving face, looking good, wealthy and powerful. What happens behind closed doors is very different to the public personas that are acted out. Added to that, Thais have poor communication skills in their own language and they do not understand how westerners communicate or conduct business.

 

Having said that, here's an example: I went to a restaurant with my fiancé's family. I was asked numerous times during the day whether I'd like to go to a particular restaurant. But instead of taking me to my preferred restaurant as agreed, they took me to a seafood restaurant although they knew I didn't eat seafood. They assumed to order for me as my Thai is limited. Despite them making sure that seafood was not part of my dish, I was served pad Thai with shrimp. Instead of my wife speaking to the waitress, or even better, letting me communicate directly because I am an adult in my sixties, the whole family got involved. Everyone was talking, debating and then arguing with the waitress and then with one another. Everyone wanted to be the hero. At the time, I did not know what was said as my Thai is very limited. Thais don't like admitting to a mistake and it is not polite to lay blame. However, they all blamed it on the junior waitress from Laos because her Thai skills were not good. When everyone had finished debating, I then asked the head waitress whether she spoke English, and she said "yes". When I started explaining the matter calmly, my wife interrupted me and so did her family. They spoke over me because they had allegedly already explained to the waitress the situation. But I had no idea why my food was served with shrimp, what anyone said, whether I was getting a new dish or whether they wanted me to leave the restaurant? I am supposed to blindly rely on a bunch of squabbling people and just sit passively and follow their lead, or what?. After waiting for more than half an hour for my new dish, everyone had finished eating theirs, including deserts. Just as the dish arrived, I said "let's go" because my appetite had vanished. Now everyone got involved again asking why I wasn't hungry, whether I wanted another dish or whatever... The whole evening was a joke. I'm an adult in my sixties for crying out loud. The same when a different restaurant served green curry with pork blood. Sorry, not my thing. Instead of accepting that I'm not going to fish the pork globules out of the sauce for obvious reasons, everyone got involved again until I raised my voice and said: "There's only one person you need to ask what he wants - me. I've told my wife what I wanted - period. Live with it!".

 

The same when I went to buy a tablet for my wife. My daughter in law came with us. This purchase was meant to be personal. However, the daughter took over, she rushed us to her preferred shops and interrogated the sales people on our behalf - all in Thai. I was just a distraction. When it was all over, my wife finally asked "which one do you want to buy me?". I told her to ask her daughter. After some discussions and paying for the tablet, my wife asked what was the matter? I told her that all I did was pay for the bloody thing. This was a gift from me to her and that I should have been involved in all aspects of the purchase and not just present my credit card.

 

Whether it's a car or a house, everyone wants to help. Why don't you move here? Why don't you move there? Why do you want to buy an EV? Why a BYD? Why, why, why..?

 

The same with all other purchases or decisions. Buying a car, a property etc. they don't understand that although I have no rights under Thai law, the fact that I am here and forking out big money means that I should at least get courtesy, respect, you know, the stuff our grandparents tried to teach us? In fact, if I were an old Thai man, there would be no interruptions. Thai society is obviously so focused on themselves, their plight and how appearances will affect THEM that they ignore you until there's a bill to pay. A farang is only as good as long as he spits out money...

 

I wish I was wrong about this but that's over twenty years of experience and  analysing Thais.

[Lorry]

On 5/2/2025 at 8:50 PM, ZigM said:

I've read a few interesting responses here but they don't answer the question. I was married to a Thai for 15 years and, oddly enough, my fiancé is now also Thai. It is telling that despite a huge age gap between my ex and my new wife, both act the same. This goes for all 10 or so Thai females that I know relatively well. I believe I have a general answer to this question. I recently retired from work and reside permanently in Thailand. I still experience the same issues - and always have.

 

For background, Thais are generally absorbed with their appearances, saving face, looking good, wealthy and powerful. What happens behind closed doors is very different to the public personas that are acted out. Added to that, Thais have poor communication skills in their own language and they do not understand how westerners communicate or conduct business.

 

Having said that, here's an example: I went to a restaurant with my fiancé's family. I was asked numerous times during the day whether I'd like to go to a particular restaurant. But instead of taking me to my preferred restaurant as agreed, they took me to a seafood restaurant although they knew I didn't eat seafood. They assumed to order for me as my Thai is limited. Despite them making sure that seafood was not part of my dish, I was served pad Thai with shrimp. Instead of my wife speaking to the waitress, or even better, letting me communicate directly because I am an adult in my sixties, the whole family got involved. Everyone was talking, debating and then arguing with the waitress and then with one another. Everyone wanted to be the hero. At the time, I did not know what was said as my Thai is very limited. Thais don't like admitting to a mistake and it is not polite to lay blame. However, they all blamed it on the junior waitress from Laos because her Thai skills were not good. When everyone had finished debating, I then asked the head waitress whether she spoke English, and she said "yes". When I started explaining the matter calmly, my wife interrupted me and so did her family. They spoke over me because they had allegedly already explained to the waitress the situation. But I had no idea why my food was served with shrimp, what anyone said, whether I was getting a new dish or whether they wanted me to leave the restaurant? I am supposed to blindly rely on a bunch of squabbling people and just sit passively and follow their lead, or what?. After waiting for more than half an hour for my new dish, everyone had finished eating theirs, including deserts. Just as the dish arrived, I said "let's go" because my appetite had vanished. Now everyone got involved again asking why I wasn't hungry, whether I wanted another dish or whatever... The whole evening was a joke. I'm an adult in my sixties for crying out loud. The same when a different restaurant served green curry with pork blood. Sorry, not my thing. Instead of accepting that I'm not going to fish the pork globules out of the sauce for obvious reasons, everyone got involved again until I raised my voice and said: "There's only one person you need to ask what he wants - me. I've told my wife what I wanted - period. Live with it!".

 

The same when I went to buy a tablet for my wife. My daughter in law came with us. This purchase was meant to be personal. However, the daughter took over, she rushed us to her preferred shops and interrogated the sales people on our behalf - all in Thai. I was just a distraction. When it was all over, my wife finally asked "which one do you want to buy me?". I told her to ask her daughter. After some discussions and paying for the tablet, my wife asked what was the matter? I told her that all I did was pay for the bloody thing. This was a gift from me to her and that I should have been involved in all aspects of the purchase and not just present my credit card.

 

Whether it's a car or a house, everyone wants to help. Why don't you move here? Why don't you move there? Why do you want to buy an EV? Why a BYD? Why, why, why..?

 

The same with all other purchases or decisions. Buying a car, a property etc. they don't understand that although I have no rights under Thai law, the fact that I am here and forking out big money means that I should at least get courtesy, respect, you know, the stuff our grandparents tried to teach us? In fact, if I were an old Thai man, there would be no interruptions. Thai society is obviously so focused on themselves, their plight and how appearances will affect THEM that they ignore you until there's a bill to pay. A farang is only as good as long as he spits out money...

 

I wish I was wrong about this but that's over twenty years of experience and  analysing Thais.

1. You are a little baby who can't even speak. They try to be nice and help you. 

 

2. Here,  language is not just a means to convey the absolute minimum of definitely necessary information. All this talking in circles serves to establish a common base on which to communicate. It may not always work.

Example: after years in Thailand,  I once asked a nurse in a hospital in my country for the way to a ward. 

"Over there, turn left" she said and continued walking on her way.

I was flabbergasted.

Of course,  there wasn't anything more to be said - but Thais would have talked several minutes. 

 

Hint: next time, go alone.  Especially for important things. 

[ZigM]

Well, Lorry obviously didn't read my post and just went-in with insults. How about this, Lorry, I went to my embassy in Bangkok the other day. When I approached the bullet-proof screen with my Thai partner behind me, the Thai receptionist in my embassy looked right past me and smiled at my Thai partner behind me instead and spoke to her. After 30 seconds of waiting so that I could speak, I just interrupted, introduced myself, and explained that I had an appointment at my embassy. The Thai receptionist behind my embassy's bullet-proof screen stopped smiling and then asked to see my passport. She then opened a bomb-proof steel door. My partner and I entered a security screening area. But instead of being greeted by people from my country and in English, an elderly Thai man and woman spoke to my Thai partner in Thai. So, Lorry, you made in inappropriate comment that i was a baby who doesn't even speak Thai. What's your comeback now?

 

After entering the embassy, my partner was greeted by another Thai national who gave instructions to my partner in Thai. After my partner walked off, I stood there looking at the Thai person in my embassy for her to address me in my language. She then merely pointed down the hallway without further comment.

 

Lorry, I'm sure that you will come back with insults but in my embassy, where I have an appointment to conduct business, I want to be spoken to in my language and not ignored in favour of another Thai. What is this? This perfectly fits the complaints that foreigners are second class people in Thailand. And no, it is not polite or helpful to ignore me!

[Cameroni]

28 minutes ago, ZigM said:

How about this, Lorry, I went to my embassy in Bangkok the other day. When I approached the bullet-proof screen with my Thai partner behind me, the Thai receptionist in my embassy looked right past me and smiled at my Thai partner behind me instead and spoke to her

 

This is extremely annoying. I get this all the time in Thai restaurants, when I'm with a Thai girl the Thai waitress ignores me as if I don't exist and starts talking to the Thai gf. I asked the Thai gf multiple times to tell the waitress to talk to me, not a chance.

 

The only option is learning Thai. 

[Lorry]

10 hours ago, ZigM said:

Well, Lorry obviously didn't read my post

I did read it

 

10 hours ago, ZigM said:

insults

You are too sensitive.  If you just want to rant - which is fine - do it, but I thought you want answers. Sorry, my mistake. 

 

10 hours ago, ZigM said:

inappropriate comment that i was a baby who doesn't even speak Thai.

For Thais,  you are the equivalent of a baby because you cannot speak. 

BTW any other country won't be much different. A foreigner who cannot speak the language will be helped (or what the locals think, is help)

10 hours ago, ZigM said:

I have an appointment

So why did you bring a Thai along?

I learned a long time ago, not to bring a Thai if I want to avoid these situations. 

10 hours ago, ZigM said:

foreigners are second class people

Of course they are. Foreigners are second class people in any country. 

I don't think there is any country where foreigners have equal standing to the locals.

 

Conclusion: it seems,  all you want is rant, so go ahead.

The solution to your problem is simple: go alone, learn Thai. 

 

BTW I found your post by chance.  If you wanted me to read it, you either have to quote my post, or you have to mention @Lorry (with @)

[ZigM]

Just to add to some of my and other comments, my Thai fiancé is lovely and so are her family and her friends. They are lovely people and we communicate as best we can, joke and interact regardless of language barriers. Not all Thais ignore non-Thai-looking people but I've given plenty of examples where they do. Here are a few more: the other day, my partner took her dog to get vaccinated. My cats arrived the week before from overseas. One of them had severe breathing problems. My fiancé asked me to show the vet a video of his irregular breathing. After showing the vet only 5 seconds of a 45 second video, the man turned to my fiancé and started bellowing at her for almost 2 minutes. After wanting to interrupt the inappropriate shouting, my fiancé told me to wait and that she'd explain everything later. After leaving the vet, I obviously wanted to know what was said about my cat. Remember, it's my cat that I brought to Thailand at great expense. I love my cats. She silenced me again and wanted to tell me in the car what was said. What's the big secret? She finally said that the vet wanted me to bring the cat in immediately. What? That's it?! The man inappropriately bellows at my fiancé for almost 2 minutes and all he said was: "Bring the cat in immediately". About 8 hours later in bed, my fiancé added that I was to accompany the cat. Wow. Still...2 minutes of shouting for something that farangs convey in 5 to 10 seconds without shouting.

 

The next day we took my cat to the vet. Instead of me accompanying my cat, he was taken away for x-rays. Ten minutes later, the vet re-emerged, stuck an x-ray negative on the wall and pointed here and there, bellowing at my soon-to-be wife like the day before. After 3 minutes of bellowing, I raised my hand at the vet and asked him to stop talking for a minute so that my fiancé could catch up and explain to me what was said about my cat. How can a person retain all that information? He should give it in small chunks, it gets translated, and then he can continue.

 

After 10 minutes of bellowing, my fiancé asked whether they could shave my cat's stomach for an ultrasound. I said 'yes'. When the vet walked off, I asked my fiancé what had been said. She said that he didn't know what was the matter. He would explain everything in English after the ultrasound. At this stage, I have to declare that this vet operates highly inefficiently. Why bellow at my fiancé while pointing at an x-ray for 10 minutes when he knows nothing? Is he trying to impress her?

 

15 minutes later, we were asked to sit at a table and a very polite and professional female vet explained in Thai for ten minutes what the x-ray and ultrasound had revealed. As instructed by my fiancé, I shut up the whole time. I said nothing but I looked at the clock to time the interaction. When the female vet had finished, she started talking to me with the cat's cage between us. I said: "Wait a moment. Let's switch chairs". I swapped chairs with my fiancé so that she was now obscured by the cat cage and I had a clear view of the PC monitor and the vet. I asked the female vet whether she spoke English. After saying "yes", I asked her to please give me the exact, same detailed presentation by referring to the scans and other materials used previously. She was surprisingly excellent and complied. She explained everything in good English. She was very professional. I was impressed. While she was speaking, the male vet occasionally bellowed over her in Thai although he does not understand English. This guy has some of the worst bedside manners ever experienced.

 

I often feel like back in 1976 in Germany when my parents decided to relocate there. I noticed similar behaviour. It is as if foreigners are considered stupid. People spoke to me as if I just crawled out of the bush and never experienced civilisation despite understanding and speaking the language and having lived in a house previously. They were shocked after they said derogative things and I then revealed that I understood everything. I recall an African-German colleague of mine, who was born in Germany, telling me that every time he walks into a shop, the store attendant would speak to him in baby language, such as "You speak Deutsch?" They would address him in the lesser form, as if he were a child rather than an adult. They'd say 'du' which is considered rude to an adult instead of the respectful 'sie'. Decades ago, even today, 'professionals' in Germany like to talk-down to ordinary folk while poor Germans blame immigrants for their poverty. So, yes, comparisons can be made here. Yes, my fiancé generally wants to help me and take the stress and burden off of my shoulders by speaking on my behalf. However, as I pointed out to her many times, where I come from, I am in control until I take my last breath. If my fiancé were in Australia or Germany, I'd respectfully and accurately translate everything in real time without telling her to be quiet, telling her to wait and/or ignore her.  It all comes down to basic politeness and how you/they would want to be treated - period.

 

In contrast, yesterday, the Thai postman referred to me as 'kun' when delivering a parcel while my fiancé was at work. He didn't speak English and I don't speak Thai yet the interaction was respectful without anyone's interference and the transaction of handing me the parcel with a smile was without issues. The less interference there is and the more I can interact with the locals, the faster I will learn Thai. Finally, and therefore, before a particular member ridicules me and my post again, I am posting true experiences that are recent and consistent with other complaints by foreigners. As Thailand is obviously grossly dependent on foreigners, they should adopt what many western countries have done. For example, when dealing with government in Australia, you can request a translator and government forms/applications are available in a variety of languages. There are many reasons why foreigners don't speak Thai (or English), and members of this forum shouldn't ridicule those that don't.

[ZigM]

On 5/10/2025 at 12:08 PM, Cameroni said:

 

This is extremely annoying. I get this all the time in Thai restaurants, when I'm with a Thai girl the Thai waitress ignores me as if I don't exist and starts talking to the Thai gf. I asked the Thai gf multiple times to tell the waitress to talk to me, not a chance.

 

The only option is learning Thai. 

I started to learn Thai but since I'm 'old' I don't figure on becoming a fluent Thai speaker before I pass-on, and even if so, all I can do is say something in Thai after the insult has occurred because I won't be getting plastic surgery to look like a Thai. I can't change this nation. It's not for me to change them. It's their ignorance, not mine. I've started to show my annoyance, for example, I told my wife to no longer accompany me to the doctor. She can wait in the car. If I need her, I'll call her. We went to the bank the other day and the door-man did the 'wai' to my wife but he ignored me. As I waited for him to 'wai' me, he turned away and printed out a ticket. As he proceeded to hand it to my wife, I ripped it out of his hands and told him that next time, I expect him to 'wai' me. A few days earlier, a taxi driver interrupted me mid-sentence as I was speaking to my wife. According to my wife, he had nothing important to say. I subsequently spoke louder to finish my sentence and to indicate that I was talking. In response, he raised his voice to compete with me. Seriously, am I supposed to compete with him? I put up my hand and told him not to interrupt me when I'm talking. He actually shut up for the whole trip and did the 'wai' to me only as we exited the vehicle, probably as an apology. 

 

I actually feel like back in the 70's in Australia when the majority of Australians thought it was inappropriate for a Caucasian to have relations with an Aboriginal. Some whites didn't care while others made sly remarks and dished out blatant insults. Times have changed, luckily. I don't have a racist bone in my body and I detest it regardless of the country. Unfortunately, Thailand is decades behind other countries regarding equality, anti-discrimination laws and basic courtesy.

 

My main concern is my wife who doesn't want to discuss these issues that I've been discussing on this forum. Thais are very sensitive to racism when they are overseas and it impacts them. They expect equal treatment. I always made an effort to involve my previous Thai wife in everything, when we lived in Germany and Australia. When going to the doctor, I only tagged along in case there was a translation issue. I let her speak and Caucasian doctors did the same. No one ever interrupted her mid-sentence and started talking to me. The same with all other interactions with anyone and all authorities. Imagine if they had ignored her and only greeted me and only spoke to me? The <deleted> would have hit the fan.

 

At the very least, the behaviour of many Thais (but not all) is disrespectful and ignorant. My cat got better treatment at the vet than me. Anyone, regardless of appearance, should get a 'wai' if it is customary to do so. To assume I am not Thai based on my looks, and to treat me differently, is racism. To assume that my Thai son, who is half-Caucasian, is not Thai (although he has a Thai birth certificate and a Thai passport) is racism. By the way, he also has a German passport and no one ever treated him poorly in Germany because he has black curly hair and olive skin; and now he serves in the Australian Defence Force. This equality just doesn't exist in Thailand. 

 

Although the Land Titles Act does not allow me to own land, the Marriage Act gives me equal rights over common assets, including house and land, except that if my wife dies before me, I can't transfer the land into my name. I can legally inherit it but then I have to sell it. The common excuse for this is that Chinese scammers have made the Thai bureaucracy weary. This excuse is also used for the onerous marriage process and registration process in the family book. Do I look Chinese? No. Do I have a Chinese passport? Errr, no! Excuse after excuse to justify racism. Just blame it on the Chinese, Laotians, Malays and other countries surrounding Thailand.

[Cameroni]

39 minutes ago, ZigM said:

I started to learn Thai but since I'm 'old' I don't figure on becoming a fluent Thai speaker before I pass-on, and even if so, all I can do is say something in Thai after the insult has occurred because I won't be getting plastic surgery to look like a Thai. I can't change this nation. It's not for me to change them. It's their ignorance, not mine. I've started to show my annoyance, for example, I told my wife to no longer accompany me to the doctor. She can wait in the car. If I need her, I'll call her. We went to the bank the other day and the door-man did the 'wai' to my wife but he ignored me. As I waited for him to 'wai' me, he turned away and printed out a ticket. As he proceeded to hand it to my wife, I ripped it out of his hands and told him that next time, I expect him to 'wai' me. A few days earlier, a taxi driver interrupted me mid-sentence as I was speaking to my wife. According to my wife, he had nothing important to say. I subsequently spoke louder to finish my sentence and to indicate that I was talking. In response, he raised his voice to compete with me. Seriously, am I supposed to compete with him? I put up my hand and told him not to interrupt me when I'm talking. He actually shut up for the whole trip and did the 'wai' to me only as we exited the vehicle, probably as an apology. 

 

I actually feel like back in the 70's in Australia when the majority of Australians thought it was inappropriate for a Caucasian to have relations with an Aboriginal. Some whites didn't care while others made sly remarks and dished out blatant insults. Times have changed, luckily. I don't have a racist bone in my body and I detest it regardless of the country. Unfortunately, Thailand is decades behind other countries regarding equality, anti-discrimination laws and basic courtesy.

 

My main concern is my wife who doesn't want to discuss these issues that I've been discussing on this forum. Thais are very sensitive to racism when they are overseas and it impacts them. They expect equal treatment. I always made an effort to involve my previous Thai wife in everything, when we lived in Germany and Australia. When going to the doctor, I only tagged along in case there was a translation issue. I let her speak and Caucasian doctors did the same. No one ever interrupted her mid-sentence and started talking to me. The same with all other interactions with anyone and all authorities. Imagine if they had ignored her and only greeted me and only spoke to me? The <deleted> would have hit the fan.

 

At the very least, the behaviour of many Thais (but not all) is disrespectful and ignorant. My cat got better treatment at the vet than me. Anyone, regardless of appearance, should get a 'wai' if it is customary to do so. To assume I am not Thai based on my looks, and to treat me differently, is racism. To assume that my Thai son, who is half-Caucasian, is not Thai (although he has a Thai birth certificate and a Thai passport) is racism. By the way, he also has a German passport and no one ever treated him poorly in Germany because he has black curly hair and olive skin; and now he serves in the Australian Defence Force. This equality just doesn't exist in Thailand. 

 

Although the Land Titles Act does not allow me to own land, the Marriage Act gives me equal rights over common assets, including house and land, except that if my wife dies before me, I can't transfer the land into my name. I can legally inherit it but then I have to sell it. The common excuse for this is that Chinese scammers have made the Thai bureaucracy weary. This excuse is also used for the onerous marriage process and registration process in the family book. Do I look Chinese? No. Do I have a Chinese passport? Errr, no! Excuse after excuse to justify racism. Just blame it on the Chinese, Laotians, Malays and other countries surrounding Thailand.

 

Like you I get annoyed when a waitress in a restaurant ignores me and talks to the gf, which happens always. It was a lot of fun when I had a Filipina here, who looked Thai. They would always turn to her to speak Thai and I'd smilingly tell them, they need to speak English as she's from Philippines.

 

Anyway, those times are over, and now with a Thai gf, like you I'm stuck with being invisible in restaurants apparently. Obviously the waitresses do this as it's just easier for them to speak Thai and their English is poor. It's not designed to insult you.

 

I would look at it this way, you succeeded in obtaining a Thai wife, who clearly cares about you as she's willing to go to the doctor with you. Now, of course you have this challenge with the Thai language, and that won't go away.  But at least you succeeded in marrying someone who genuinely cares about you.

 

All the points you make are logically correct, and yes the unequal treatment of foreigners in terms of property rights is hard to take for some people, but there are a lot of positive sides to being married to a Thai woman, whose family is also really trying to help sometimes, so I would look on these positive sides more than on the negative sides.

[Chris Daley]

 

"I feel awkward in towns where no one talks English." - Nigel Farage

 

Works both ways.  Please learn to read, write and speak Thai.

[NanLaew]

On 9/1/2019 at 11:01 AM, bowerboy said:

To the OP it is a shame about some of the response on this thread.

 

You are absolutely correct...Thais have an incredibly rude way of trying to talk over you and it has absolutely nothing to do with language...it is pure rudeness and inconsiderate Thai behaviour.

 

I am the GM of a Multinational company in Thailand and my management team all speak excellent English and they often interrupt me when I am talking.....it’s not interrupting me to make a point....it’s interrupting me to just say whatever is on their mind. I tell them very directly now to stop talking and wait until I am finished.

 

Its not just the talking either. I will be in a closed door meeting meeting with important people and someone will come to ask me to sign some documents or whatever. I tell them to go away and come back after the meeting is finished but they still persist. I more or less them to “get out NOW”.

 

I have noticed this time and time again over 15 years Thailand happening in all companies I have worked in  have worked with to all Manager I have worked with

.

I wanted to write more buyback but gave up I ip his forum being so slow forum so slow and frustrating to type on.

 

 

 

Why have you capitalized the word multinational?

[MartinL]

52 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

 

Why have you capitalized the word multinational?

 

Why didn't you ask him 6 years ago?