Marrying a Thai woman who has no money or resource

[kevin612]

I wish you all the best

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, kevin612 said:

I wish you all the best

Thanks, Kev.

[swissie]

11 hours ago, Enoon said:

 

She's beginning to sound not very reasonable and also quite demanding for someone who had zero future when she met you.

 

And a new vacuum cleaner?

 

You have carpets?

 

Whose idea were they?

 

I fear that storm clouds are gathering near you.

 

 

Jep, I reached the same conclusion. The "pennieless" Thai-Lady has discovered that the OP is "the ground-floor" for her financial/sociological upward mobility. As simple as that.

- She has tried "working" and has discovered that working makes her "tired"(!?).
- She is outsourcing the laundry for 1800 Bht/month(!?). And a few other detais.

Clearly, the "pennieless" Thai-Lady of yesterday sees herself today as a "madame", with elevated social standing. OP will have to keep funding her inflationary demands.
Otherwise, I would have to agree with "Enoon's" comment above:

"I fear that storm clouds are gathering near you."

PS: A "pennieless" Thai female is expected "to make the best of it" when marrying a Farang. If she does not act accordingly, her Thai-surroundings will quickly agree: "There must be something wrong with her". Can the "pennieless" Ladies be blamed when they developpe inflationary demands over time? Not really!

So, who is to blame? The 2 main culprits are:
- Farangs not understanding Thai-culture.
- Thai's not understanding Farang culture.

The "quadrature of the circle" comes to mind.

[sidjameson]

The reasonyou are dis gruntled is that she has completely won. She has fufilled her biological imperative. Raising two kids with a man from the richest 5% of the world.

You are not fufilling your potential though are you.

You are raising two kids and have an average woman who is aging. Thats the life a man on 20k a month could live.

[Kadilo]

You sound as miserable as sin when you should be on top of the world. 

Edited October 22, 2019 by Kadilo

[Lacessit]

6 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Part of why I feel resentful is that I have taken good care of her well but am not convinced she gives a hoot about me..example, she and the kids went to her home village yesterday and the first time I heard from her was this morning as she needed money for the tyre..tonight nothing, I sent her a good night message 30 mins ago yet it's not even been read, so she's not thinking about me sat here is she? Doesn't even care what I'm up to, most wife's would be pestering their husbands if he was alone or at least asking if all is ok, etc?

Perhaps you are overthinking the situation. I am separated from my GF one week in three, as I like some space. Being together 24/7 would be too stifling for me. We do talk on LINE, but occasionally miss an evening, no big deal.

A better measure may be what happens when you get back together again. I get a very enthusiastic welcome, if you catch my drift.

[helloagain]

You sound like a very immature horrible, i can't say man, old young boy. 

[lopburi3]

10 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I'm not a regular tv poster who raises a family on 40k or less a month.

Yet another generalization slam at those you asked for help - not everyone with common sense is poor or those that are poor in need of our disdain.  

 

Edited October 23, 2019 by lopburi3

[thailand49]

19 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

No use brewing about it like you said the bed has been made!  I understand the need to vent but this is what Thailand leaders are producing with their education system.

Now think hard, was it her that went our and purchased a vacuum cleaner I'm not going to go into the length of the car and tires because it is a necessity worth having but many Thais don't have that luxury.

There is no clear answer but you might need to sit down and try to have this conversation with her about the money and tell her there is no black hole. My saying and goal is be happy but don't spoil them which isn't a easy thing to do.

Myself, I do have cars and motorbike but I and her have never needed a vacuum cleaner, I sweep with a Thai broom everyday and wipe down the floors daily whenever necessary on my knees and hands.

You need to downsize and meet a balance and still be happy.

[saengd]

My wife and (of twenty years) live comfortably on around 45k a month, we have several millions in the banks here but we just don't spend it, we don't need to. We own our house here plus a flat in the UK and we split our year between the two places. My wife was penniless when we met, her family was equally as poor and in debt also. I already understood a bit about the country and it's people before I came here to live, I'd worked in the region for quite a few years. I understood that being poor in Thailand doesn't necessarily make someone bad or lazy, you look for the good things or at least I do. Once I'd squared away few paltry but crippling debts the family was on level ground and they've stayed there, there's no overhead with them although once or twice they came close. My wife has always worked, even though she doesn't have to, she's earned an Open Uni. degree and been trained in new skills, she takes extremely good care of me and insulates me as necessary.  I can't see for one moment that being poor should disqualify a potential partner from the running, not unless you yourself are also very poor and are looking to improve your position, there's more to people than just there financial position.

[1FinickyOne]

19 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

yeah, out of the blue stuff happens, failing tires are a typical anticipatable expense.. I know there is a currency depreciation issue but this is a responsibility that you knowingly took on... you knew her situation before you married her... I also married a poor lady from a poor family... they are all great people and I am pleased that I can help them... good luck with everything. 

[soistalker]

Marrying a penniless woman with very poor job prospects is insane. It's like being married to a how mut you gib me.

[saengd]

Four tuna tyres are not cheap. Bridgestones run about 6.5k each. But then a Four Tuna costs 1.6 mill., what do you expect. A brand new Toyota pickup truck can be had for 600k, same chassis, same engine, same stuff and it does the job equally as well.

[easydoor]

Topics as this one says a lot about how some people are thinking and what they are expecting: a wife what is doing they cleaning, they laundry, they cooking and sleeping with them every night. BUT all of this should have to be for FREE and more, she also should have to pay for it..... very POOR thinking. Shame on you and your advise. You don't have to complain, just have to blame yourself, it was YOU what made this choice and more: a woman with money doesn't want a man as you are!

[saengd]

2 minutes ago, soistalker said:

Marrying a penniless woman with very poor job prospects is insane. It's like being married to a how mut you gib me.

You'll forgive me I hope for saying this but I think you've just described your sum knowledge of women in Thailand, heads up, they are not all the same as the ones you seem to have met - perhaps if you break out of your current sphere you will meet normal Thai women.. 

[transam]

9 minutes ago, soistalker said:

Marrying a penniless woman with very poor job prospects is insane. It's like being married to a how mut you gib me.

You're still single, I presume...?  ????

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

All the angry replies are cracking me up..carry on

[dotpoom]

Interesting topic......It has been on my mind a lot recently. I was in a relationship for 12 years. She did very well out of me. Big car, over 2mb and the condo I bought in her name (long story).

..Like the OP, I started to question the finincial pressure and paid for a training course for her to get a job. Then the signs started to rear their ugly head....stuff like "The other girls are always asking me why I have to work when I have a Farang". I later found out she had stolen from money from me I sent her an SMS about it (she was on her course)...she blocked me from that point on. I guess she knew the game was up.

   The real point I am coming to is...This happened about 1 year ago and since then it has been the most miserable time of my life. I am too old now to start all over again (70 last week). The experience has turned me into a "meanee" where Thai ladies are concerned, I don't like being like that but that's the way it is. I miss the laughter we had together almost all day long....I find myself asking myself now...Bad and all as it turned out to be....maybe I was better off then...that the way life is now....alone, and yes,... I have to admit it,... desperately lonely.....but.......living in the knowledge (and experience) that life usually turns out right if we can "accept" things as they are...rather than the way we wish they were...and the sooner we can do it the sooner it happens.

 

  

[yogavnture]

20 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

isnt a blown tire and vaccum cleaner legit costs???

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

5 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

Interesting topic......It has been on my mind a lot recently. I was in a relationship for 12 years. She did very well out of me. Big car, over 2mb and the condo I bought in her name (long story).

..Like the OP, I started to question the finincial pressure and paid for a training course for her to get a job. Then the signs started to rear their ugly head....stuff like "The other girls are always asking me why I have to work when I have a Farang". I later found out she had stolen from money from me I sent her an SMS about it (she was on her course)...she blocked me from that point on. I guess she knew the game was up.

   The real point I am coming to is...This happened about 1 year ago and since then it has been the most miserable time of my life. I am too old now to start all over again (70 last week). The experience has turned me into a "meanee" where Thai ladies are concerned, I don't like being like that but that's the way it is. I miss the laughter we had together almost all day long....I find myself asking myself now...Bad and all as it turned out to be....maybe I was better off then...that the way life is now....alone, and yes,... I have to admit it,... desperately lonely.....but.......living in the knowledge (and experience) that life usually turns out right if we can "accept" things as they are...rather than the way we wish they were...and the sooner we can do it the sooner it happens.

 

  

Sorry to hear that, very honest of you to post it up. I do know what you mean though, after it's 'only money' the reality is I think me and my mad one will see it through as when apart we both miss each other..I'm actually thankful that is the case ,otherwise there really is a problem.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, yogavnture said:

isnt a blown tire and vaccum cleaner legit costs???

Enough chat about the vaccum now mate..become boring now.

[zhounan]

Usually the problem is not the woman but the family lives behind her.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

Kids are the real expense. I'd modify the OP to don't have kids with the satangless woman one marries.

Vacuum cleaner- don't need one

Car- don't need one.

 

Most farangs become financially bereft IMO because they want to live like they did back home, but don't work in LOS.

 

 

[phantomfiddler]

Just look at the failure rate, which has to be up around 98%. I don,t think that most of us are rich or good looking enough to beat those odds ???? The only relationships I know of that have lasted have been ones involving ladies who were not working in bars.

[strabel23]

20 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

Cheap <deleted> aren't you. You put a price on love? Did she beg you to marry her or did you make that decision and then you want to toss her later like an old broom? She should dump you and find a man with integrity.

[thaibeachlovers]

27 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

Interesting topic......It has been on my mind a lot recently. I was in a relationship for 12 years. She did very well out of me. Big car, over 2mb and the condo I bought in her name (long story).

..Like the OP, I started to question the finincial pressure and paid for a training course for her to get a job. Then the signs started to rear their ugly head....stuff like "The other girls are always asking me why I have to work when I have a Farang". I later found out she had stolen from money from me I sent her an SMS about it (she was on her course)...she blocked me from that point on. I guess she knew the game was up.

   The real point I am coming to is...This happened about 1 year ago and since then it has been the most miserable time of my life. I am too old now to start all over again (70 last week). The experience has turned me into a "meanee" where Thai ladies are concerned, I don't like being like that but that's the way it is. I miss the laughter we had together almost all day long....I find myself asking myself now...Bad and all as it turned out to be....maybe I was better off then...that the way life is now....alone, and yes,... I have to admit it,... desperately lonely.....but.......living in the knowledge (and experience) that life usually turns out right if we can "accept" things as they are...rather than the way we wish they were...and the sooner we can do it the sooner it happens.

 

  

I know how you feel. I divorced my wife when she became angry all the time because I wouldn't give her family money, even though I'd told her I wouldn't before getting married. I guess she thought she could change my mind after we got married.

I still miss our days together when she was in love with me and not my money. We had one fantastic year before we got married, then we got married and it was over. It just took 3 years to die. I guess I held on because I hoped, despite all the evidence, that it would come right.

I still don't know if it was the long con or if it was just the toxic family, as we didn't live near them before we got married and after we did.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, phantomfiddler said:

Just look at the failure rate, which has to be up around 98%. I don,t think that most of us are rich or good looking enough to beat those odds ???? The only relationships I know of that have lasted have been ones involving ladies who were not working in bars.

Agree, most don't last. My one doesn't have a bar background

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, strabel23 said:

Cheap <deleted> aren't you. You put a price on love? Did she beg you to marry her or did you make that decision and then you want to toss her later like an old broom? She should dump you and find a man with integrity.

Haha! Go and have a lie down. Cheap charlie? I've spent absolutely millions of Baht on her on her. Twerp.

[thaibeachlovers]

50 minutes ago, transam said:

You're still single, I presume...?  ????

If he's sensible he is.

[saengd]

5 minutes ago, phantomfiddler said:

Just look at the failure rate, which has to be up around 98%. I don,t think that most of us are rich or good looking enough to beat those odds ???? The only relationships I know of that have lasted have been ones involving ladies who were not working in bars.

"The only relationships I know of that have lasted have been ones involving ladies who were not working in bars"

 

We have a winner!