Diary of a farang in Isaan

[bannork]

My dear sister is not the easiest woman to please. One time she was in a relationship with a friend of mine ( she had a habit of doing that) and it was a lovely summer's morning in downtown Clevedon ( a very dull town near exciting Bristol).

'Where  do you think we should go today, Keith?' 

Keith ummed and aaahed. He was a nice bloke but he wasn't good at decisions until he'd had his morning spliff.

My sister grew impatient. ' Come on Keith, let's see some leadership here. Show some decisiveness, be a man.'

'Okay! Let's go to Cheddar Gorge. On the way back we could stop off at one of the cider orchards and sample the scrumpy. Bannork can drive as he can't stand real cider.'

Too true, that stuff just makes my head reel. Keith winked at me, quietly impressed with his quick thinking.

But Keith's itinerary proposal only brought sneers.

'Don't tell me what to do or where to go. And don't bring my brother into it too. Who do you think you are ordering me and him around? Relationships require consultations, you know. Talking things over.'

Poor old Keith. He shrugged his shoulders, damned if he did, damned if he didn't  

 

 

[GarryP]

I've told my wife that if she starts getting all nutty when she hits menopause, she's going on hormone replacement therapy. She actually agrees with me on this, but will probably change her mind on that when the time comes.  Fingers crossed. 

[owl sees all]

33 minutes ago, GarryP said:

I've told my wife that if she starts getting all nutty when she hits menopause, she's going on hormone replacement therapy. She actually agrees with me on this, but will probably change her mind on that when the time comes.  Fingers crossed. 

That's very noble of you Gary. Hormone replacement therapy?! Better to cut out sticky rice and fermented dead fish and crab.

 

Isaan had these bamboo huts on the outskirts of the villages for this menopause stuff. Bring them back; I say.

 

 

[bannork]

Well, there we go Owl. The driest six months in my memory, then Songkran with three days of stifling heat and the first water splashing for four years.

Great to see the youngsters having fun again, imo.

And then, as if to say to the grumpy farangs complaining about Thais wasting water in a time of drought, the heavens open up, as if on cue for the end of Songkran, 7.00 pm!

 

 

 

 

[HighPriority]

29 minutes ago, bannork said:

Well, there we go Owl. The driest six months in my memory, then Songkran with three days of stifling heat and the first water splashing for four years.

Great to see the youngsters having fun again, imo.

And then, as if to say to the grumpy farangs complaining about Thais wasting water in a time of drought, the heavens open up, as if on cue for the end of Songkran, 7.00 pm!

 

 

 

 

That is some great news Bannork !

[owl sees all]

13 hours ago, bannork said:

Well, there we go Owl. The driest six months in my memory, then Songkran with three days of stifling heat and the first water splashing for four years.

Great to see the youngsters having fun again, imo.

And then, as if to say to the grumpy farangs complaining about Thais wasting water in a time of drought, the heavens open up, as if on cue for the end of Songkran, 7.00 pm!

 

 

 

 

We got about 2/3mm last night. Not so much, but have to start somewhere. Anything better than -  as you rightly say - the driest 6 months in memory.

 

According to the historical data from 1952 to 2021, April should have 10mm of rain. So still a lot more to come; hopefully.

 

And according to 'accuweather', Udon Thani was Thailand's hottest province last week.

 

[bannork]

Owl, regarding the stepdaughter's desire to go to Korea. The authorities there have really clamped down on visa applications from Issan  ( I wonder why? lol).

Rumours were all applications from Udon were being rejected due to the number of Udonites getting busted bringing in amphetamines to Korea. Dunno if it's true or not but even if not imo it's not difficult for Korean immigration to spot a little ghost.

I don't think I've ever met a Thai tourist who travels alone yet little ghosts are advised to say they are travelling alone if questioned, to ensure no one else travelling with them gets refused entry too.

Obviously authorities are suspicious about single young people, males looking for factory/ labouring work and females for massage/ karaoke work.

So the answer Owl is for you to go as a family, Mr and Mrs Owl plus daughter in law! No doubt you're a fan of K-pop and weepy Korean TV dramas. Just perform some dance moves whilst in the arrivals lineup and you'll sail through 

 

[owl sees all]

36 minutes ago, bannork said:

No doubt you're a fan of K-pop and weepy Korean TV dramas. Just perform some dance moves whilst in the arrivals lineup and you'll sail through 

TBH Bannork, I'm not a fan of K-pop. Probably missing out on some special grooves there; but I'll sick with The Shadows and Tommy Steel for my musical excitement. As for TV. Only watch MofTD; if I can get past the BBC barrier. The VPN I use (Opera) s not precise enough to break through.

 

I'd rather go to Nth Korea if I was ever inclined to travel again. I like the way those army ladies all march in step. And that Jim Son Ung made them trim their secret hair in the shape of the country is interesting. He did regular inspections (allegedly). Mysterious country. I'd not go with the wife though.

[owl sees all]

Owl Log 16-04-2023 - Sunday afternoon.

 

Another week dominated by the weather. Fires all over. Including one that closed the 2022 into Ban Dung. Fortunately no wind to speak of.

 

One of the local oil-palm farms was hit bad.

 

 

Me and Mildred had a good look at the devastation. This particular fire done an area of about 100 football pitches.

 

 

 

 

Found a pond we didn't know about.

 

Strange shape. Anything falling down there will never get out.

 

 

Chai's charcoal venture has finished.

 

 

Be interesting to see the charcoal come out. Perhaps today when we go to farm.

 

 

Mildred was doing her art stuff, and she noticed Oscar watching her.

 

 

The 'eyes' have it.

 

 

Mildred's last two pieces.

 

 

She has also taken to writing stories. All in Thai, on one of her wwws. She tells me she has over 2000 likes. Should try to get a link to her www site (www.mildredart.com). I'll work on it.

 

Think this girl is firing water. Well; it was Songkran.

 

 

I've sent away for a set of oil paints for her. She fancies her chances with oil and canvas. Up to mow it's been acrylic and artist paper. A new direction for her. We will see.

 

Also due this week is a whole Edam cheese..

Two water fans - one for us, and one for the MinL - and some packs of cranberries.

 

Picked up the washing machine last week. Not charged as much as I thought I would be; 400 baht. It was OK for two washes;;; then!! Will take it back tomorrow (Monday), for another fix. This time the water will not drain out. Last time it wouldn't stop running out. It's an LG (Life's Good).

 

 

Had it about 14/15 years. Went out the back to clear up, and saw that the outlet pipe had disintegrated. So I'll need to replace that tomorrow when Ban Dung calls.

 

 

But there is also the twin-tub. Never been fired up. But my first girlfriend said never trust twin-tubs, so let's get the LG sorted. I would free up some space though.

 

 

Are the Chinese taking over? On second looks, it could be Sth Korean. B!oody horrid anyway! Even the dogs don't like em.

 

 

Would you Adam and Eve it? The silver tape holding the lights in place on the pick-up had deteriorated. Had to replace the tape. Much better.

 

Did both sides.

 

 

The motor-cycle riders tearing around the village are getting younger and younger.

 

 

Rain yesterday for 30 minutes or so. Nothing much. But it's a start.

 

Footy round-up.

Orient need just one more win (from 5 games) to ensure promotion. Looks like Man City are in the Ch Lg semis after 3-0 win against German Champs. Out of kilter Chelsea, have it all to do when the host Real Madrid in the return. And they lose at home yesterday, as do Saints, Everton and Spurs. Owls slip up again. Ipswich relentless.

Banks O'Dee put 9 past Thistle.

 

World focus.

POTUS Biden returns to his Emerald Isle Roots.

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Big power struggle in Sudan.

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A 21 year old security captain is arrested for putting the US Top Secret Documents on the internet.

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Atiq Ahmed - former Indian politician - was under police escort when he was shot dead in Prayagraj (Allahabad). Ahmed's teenage son was shot dead by police days earlier.

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French President Emmanuel Macron signed the controversial reforms into law in the early hours of Saturday morning, after France's Top Court cleared the pathway..

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Kenya puts observation satellite into outer space.

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A Kenyan preacher, whose followers starved themselves to death, following his religious teachings   has been arrested.

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Montana in US, has voted in favour of banning TikTok on all personal devices.

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Man in Fulton County Jail in Atlanta is eaten to death by bed bugs.

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The Dalai Lama asked a young boy to  "suck my tongue".

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Sales of 'Bud Light' plummet 90%.

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18,000 cows killed in Texas Dairy farm explosion.

 

Thai musings.

2023 fatalities - throughout the Songkran Celebrations - down 14 (latest count) from 2022.

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Police blocked access to the backpacker haven of Khaosan Road last night, as Songkran attracted overwhelming numbers. Most of them foreigners.

 

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Apple makes manufacturing move towards Thailand from China.

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Thai soldiers danced to K-pop music in the Siam neighbourhood of Bangkok last weekend. Ridiculed on the www for being 'out-of-step'.

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A sexy Thai woman, was fined 5,000 baht after she got her boobies out and danced enthusiastically at a songkham party in Samut Prakarn province near Bangkok last week.

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A Thai sex-doll collector has spoken out about the dolls being spooky. He has warned his Facebook followers, after he was violently attacked by at least three of them, while fast asleep. He went onto say that collectors of sex-dolls should not buy them just because they smell nice, or have a pretty smile. Must be more disconcerning (careful) he said.

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Ants are everywhere. The extreme heat has sent them to the surface in their millions. They bite too. although the bite-discomfort only lasts far a few minutes.

 

Ms Owl has taken to showering up to 5 times a day recently. "Not been hot before; Thailand. Take shower. Stop keep hot." It has been very warm. I told her; "drink plenty of water teerak," "I want to stop hot on outside of body; you farang ting-tong."

 

Ban Dung tomorrow. Can't say I enjoy going there. Finish up wasting money. Always getting things we don't need. Last time spent 300 baht on hair dye. Even Mildred has gone ginger.

 

Broke my rubbish picker-upper last week. Sorted it out with some bamboo strips and a cable-tie or two. Our soi is gonna win some award for being rubbish free when the presentations come round.

 

 

Only one thing left to say; bye y'all. And take in plenty of fluid like Mrs Owl.

 

 

[it is what it is]

On 4/11/2023 at 3:08 AM, owl sees all said:

Very kind words HP.

 

That BinL thread was a cracker alright. Many TV (then) members telling truths about their lives in Thailand.

 

Mrs Owl has a problem; that's for sure. Many problems it seems. The biggest one is me. "What am I doing that you don't like teerak?" "I fed up with you. Take picture all the time. People in village hate you. I am shy people. Want to finish. Sell farm. You must go away from me."

 

Don't want to give the impression that life in the village is purgatory. No. Far from it. I love my life here. And perhaps Mrs Owl knowing that, is part of the problem. Don't want farang Owl to be happy. Especially when he is not coming over with the dosh, that a farang wife expects. Ah yes! Money! No! Barking up the wrong tree there perhaps?. Mrs Owl thinking about money? She's not like that???? Have to face the facts of life; it's all my doing. I'm bad!

 

The enlightened monk she went to see t'other morning, had a profound effect on the wife; for a day or so. No envy. No greed. No material wants. Then it drifted back to normality.

 

Great life here in Thailand.

 

 

it sounds like the problems with your wife come from two sources, which may be connected;

 

A. expectations. differing expectations and lack of understanding/appreciation/acceptance of the other's expectations,

 

B. lack of effective communication. with seeming limited ability in each other's language, clear and effective communication must be difficult/impossible; leading to ineffective problem resolution, and contributing to point A - catch 22?

 

if you're genuinely happy with the situation and your life, fine, but if you're not, get out.

[owl sees all]

6 minutes ago, it is what it is said:

it sounds like the problems with your wife come from two sources, which may be connected;

 

A. expectations. differing expectations and lack of understanding/appreciation/acceptance of the other's expectations,

 

B. lack of effective communication. with seeming limited ability in each other's language, clear and effective communication must be difficult/impossible; leading to ineffective problem resolution, and contributing to point A - catch 22?

 

if you're genuinely happy with the situation and your life, fine, but if you're not, get out.

Make you right there bro.

 

Expectations! Yes! Mine are so simple. I want a happy, healthy life. And in with that comes seeing that Mildred gets a great start in life, the cats are fed and the dogs get their exercise. I also have to take care of the farm; and household stuff like the pick-up and washing machine.

 

The wife's are more complex that's for sure. I think half the problem is that she feels she has to live up to other's expectations. Little whispers in her ear. "Why does the wife of the richest man in the village, live in such a small house?" Or; "your pick-up is so noisy." Here lies the problem perhaps. I've one pair of flip-flops (any shoes) and if I see a pair I like, I might buy them, but I can't be bothered to go looking for a new pair. The wife seems to focus in on stuff that she don't need and - TBH - are unnecessary. I ask you; how many pairs of shoes can you wear at the same time?

 

On the upside. Mildred is doing just great, and I've not had salt accidentally spilt in me morning Cup of Rosy for ages.

 

 

[sotonowl]

14 hours ago, owl sees all said:

I'd rather go to Nth Korea if I was ever inclined to travel again. I like the way those army ladies all march in step.

Not to mention the NK female traffic cops, now they are a site to behold. 

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=north+korean+traffic+ladies&t=osx&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DgEvrFg4dnkM

[owl sees all]

7 hours ago, sotonowl said:

Not to mention the NK female traffic cops, now they are a site to behold. 

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=north+korean+traffic+ladies&t=osx&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DgEvrFg4dnkM

Indeed.

 

Going weak at the knees.

[Andrew Dwyer]

Having a few days of village life myself right now, while it is not exactly Isaan ( rural Nakhon Sawan ) it is as close as I get to being the only farang in the village.

 

Paying respects to the mil with the bil’s Buddha collection ( 30 ) getting an airing .

 

 

Then today off to the local Wat to splash a little water on the Buddha statue and into the hands of the resident monks.

 

Then all hell broke loose, at this point I had admitted defeat and accepted being the main target of the local songkranners .

 

[owl sees all]

3 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Having a few days of village life myself right now, while it is not exactly Isaan ( rural Nakhon Sawan ) it is as close as I get to being the only farang in the village.

 

Paying respects to the mil with the bil’s Buddha collection ( 30 ) getting an airing .

 

 

Then today off to the local Wat to splash a little water on the Buddha statue and into the hands of the resident monks.

 

Then all hell broke loose, at this point I had admitted defeat and accepted being the main target of the local songkranners .

 

Looks like a great time was had by all.

 

Hope the water didn't get into the solar panel electrics.

 

Good luck tonight Andy.

[DJ54]

Frogs were in a tizzy about the higher retirement age….. time for Big Mac to really fire them up…. 8 hour (working)  days… 5 days a week and 

No alcoholic beverages for lunch….

[DJ54]

and paintings are impressive… 

[owl sees all]

Oil paints arrived today.

 

Be interesting to see how she gets on with them on canvas.

[rickudon]

Been a while since i looked at the thread. Mainly because once my daughters passport arrived the family trip to the UK went into full swing - and the problems. Tickets were expensive and some flights had already been fully booked, business class only! So had to book the tickets early, best deal was Emirates. But .... the wife had given a different date to the visa agency (i told her we had to go earlier). Her visa arrived - not valid until 22nd April. <deleted>. Had to change tickets, another 300 GBP down the drain. Also, real reason for wife's sudden enthusiasm, it is because her sister in the UK is getting married. More expense, lots of new clothes, hotel bookings, and the 2 weeks with my UK kids now shrinks to one. I just have that feeling that it will all go terribly wrong, and the cost has really depleted my savings.

 

Finally (I think) everything is in order. Just wish we could have gone for more than 20 days. Now busy trying to get farm tidy etc. before leaving. The brutal weather is not helping. No rain since November, and average temperature this month has been about 39 C. , half the days over 40 C. Fortunately fish ponds not dry yet, as deeper since dug out 5 years ago, but lowest yet. The pet fish in bowls at the house struggling, M-in-L steals water from them to water her veg, do not hold much hope for their survival in this heat once we leave. Goldfish will probably end up in the plaa raa. But cannot wait to get out from this heat. Still 34 C at 11 p.m. outdoors.

 

Driest and hottest year so far in my experience - didn't even get my jacket out once in the 'winter'. Hope Owl gets some rain for his ponds. Last day tomorrow, then we are off.

[chickenslegs]

Hope you catch some of that lovely spring weather they're having in the UK just now. Of course, if there is an April wedding you can be sure of a rainy day. 

  

17 minutes ago, rickudon said:

 ... and the 2 weeks with my UK kids now shrinks to one.

Suggestion: Let the missus and daughter take the scheduled return flight and you stay an extra week alone with your UK kids.

 

Anyway, have a great holiday. With any luck it will piss down here and your ponds will be full when you get home.

 

 

[HighPriority]

Planes hurt right now.

Pre Covid I could get to Phuket and back to Darwin for Aud$240 pp, now looking at $1200+.

 

[owl sees all]

8 hours ago, rickudon said:

Been a while since i looked at the thread. Mainly because once my daughters passport arrived the family trip to the UK went into full swing - and the problems. Tickets were expensive and some flights had already been fully booked, business class only! So had to book the tickets early, best deal was Emirates. But .... the wife had given a different date to the visa agency (i told her we had to go earlier). Her visa arrived - not valid until 22nd April. <deleted>. Had to change tickets, another 300 GBP down the drain. Also, real reason for wife's sudden enthusiasm, it is because her sister in the UK is getting married. More expense, lots of new clothes, hotel bookings, and the 2 weeks with my UK kids now shrinks to one. I just have that feeling that it will all go terribly wrong, and the cost has really depleted my savings.

 

Finally (I think) everything is in order. Just wish we could have gone for more than 20 days. Now busy trying to get farm tidy etc. before leaving. The brutal weather is not helping. No rain since November, and average temperature this month has been about 39 C. , half the days over 40 C. Fortunately fish ponds not dry yet, as deeper since dug out 5 years ago, but lowest yet. The pet fish in bowls at the house struggling, M-in-L steals water from them to water her veg, do not hold much hope for their survival in this heat once we leave. Goldfish will probably end up in the plaa raa. But cannot wait to get out from this heat. Still 34 C at 11 p.m. outdoors.

 

Driest and hottest year so far in my experience - didn't even get my jacket out once in the 'winter'. Hope Owl gets some rain for his ponds. Last day tomorrow, then we are off.

Jeez! What a saga!

 

Seven years ago I had a return to the UK for 227 squids. Who would have thought things could change so quickly! Something's amiss with these air fairs. Some interesting explanations on the www.
 

I m keeping my eye on the ponds. They are OK until the end of the month. Then - if no substantial rain - it will be decision time. What ponds to sacrifice to save just one or two.

 

Have a good trip Rick. See anything interesting in the UK; take a pic or two.

 

 

[owl sees all]

8 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Anyway, have a great holiday. With any luck it will piss down here and your ponds will be full when you get home.

Looked a the long forecast yesterday. No rain until at least next month. Next month (May) is the official (according to records) start of the wet season. We'll keep em crossed.

 

Ditto Rick having a great holiday.

.

[owl sees all]

2 hours ago, HighPriority said:

Planes hurt right now.

Pre Covid I could get to Phuket and back to Darwin for Aud$240 pp, now looking at $1200+.

 

Things have changed all right. Is someone making a killing on the back of C-19? Wouldn't surprise me. Seems that a lot of big companies are doing OK; while smaller ones have gone to the wall.

 

Is that giant water holder still OK HP?

[owl sees all]

On 4/17/2023 at 7:14 PM, owl sees all said:

Good luck tonight Andy.

Kiss of death!

[Fat is a type of crazy]

4 hours ago, HighPriority said:

Planes hurt right now.

Pre Covid I could get to Phuket and back to Darwin for Aud$240 pp, now looking at $1200+.

 

From Melbourne still get good deals if you are happy to cop Jetstar.  Sales do make a big difference so could sign up to the newsletter.  

In May it's $450 return like the good old days but last flight in August had delays of 3 hours there and 6 hours back so may be a false economy. 

[HighPriority]

6 hours ago, owl sees all said:

 

 

Is that giant water holder still OK HP?

Yep, we had what was probably our last rainfall on saturday and shes topped up nicely.

But the pump from the crappy bore needs to looked at as its not working, the bore will only get us to maybe August leaving a couple of long hot months to use some of our drinking water to keep the garden alive.

[HighPriority]

5 hours ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

From Melbourne still get good deals if you are happy to cop Jetstar.  Sales do make a big difference so could sign up to the newsletter.  

In May it's $450 return like the good old days but last flight in August had delays of 3 hours there and 6 hours back so may be a false economy. 

Cheers FIATOC, ????

I had to do a mercy flight to Melbourne on sunday night on JetFail, and returned on tuesday night. The 9:05 pm became 10:20 which became 12:10 or something... Grrr.

And to top it off they seem to have found a way to squeeze an extra coupe of rows into the plane, remember the brace position...? Not a hope in hell to actually perform it now !!

And the cheapest seats on the Darwin/Melbourne route start @$290

 

My biggest problem is that JetFail canned the Darwin/Singapore route post covid.

Silk Air are still flying it, but the bottom line is there is not enough seats and/or competition for the bums that need them seats...

 

Nothing I like more than flying 4hrs in the wrong direction to sit for 12hrs before spending another 6hrs to get where I wanted to be in the first place ! ????

[bannork]

Another nice drop of rain, Owl.

Shame the electricity has gone off but that's par for the start of the rains.

Expect it to come on about 2.00 am 

[owl sees all]

21 hours ago, bannork said:

Another nice drop of rain, Owl.

Shame the electricity has gone off but that's par for the start of the rains.

Expect it to come on about 2.00 am 

Yup!

 

Had more noise and wind than rain though. Small hail-stones at one point.

 

As with you Bannork; leccy off til early hours.