Are we by nature melancholy beings?

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, SunsetT said:

This is the bottom line of both Buddhism and Hindhuism so they would add: 'over and over again'. Their goal is to escape life and being reincarnated/reborn over and over again to suffer it.

 

I disagree that life is all suffering and prefer the Chinese Taoist yin and yang philosophy where u cant have one thing without its opposite. I believe that the more u seek happiness the more u inevitably eventually create it's opposite in some way, i.e., unhappiness & discontentedness. And the higher the high u seek, the lower the low u must 'pay back' in some way to equalise it. I prefer to try and cultivate contentedness rather than seek happiness thus remaining somewhere more central between the peaks and troughs and experiencing, I think, a lesser oscillation of highs and lows.

 

Strange that I have always prefered ballads which are sad and which stir deep emotions in me. I think music itself is a mystery; what exactly is it? How can u define it and its mysterious and powerful effects on us? From a very young age certain instumental pieces had the power to sometimes move me to tears. How does that work without any lyrics to associate it to anything sad? I find this deeply mysterious.

You pretty much sum up my feelings, and the reason for the thread, to see if everyone else was living wonderfully happy lives and it was just me listening to sad music and feeling melancholy.

Looking back on my life, no matter how good the situation was, it either changed and got worse, or ended. Seems that living in LOS is like that. Used to be brilliant, and now it's not.

For sure, there are more sad popular songs than happy ones.

 

Every piece of music I hear that I associate with past things can make me melancholy. For instance The Eagles "New Kid in Town" is something I associate with an excellent new year celebration in McMurdo in Antarctica. The song itself isn't particularly sad, the time I remember was the best time of my life, but it makes me melancholy because that wonderful time ended, and I had to go back to real life.

 

The older I get the more melancholy I become, as it's like every thing I do is for the last time, and eventually I will not even be around, but that's nothing to do with the OP.

[BritManToo]

27 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Every piece of music I hear that I associate with past things can make me melancholy. For instance The Eagles "New Kid in Town" is something I associate with an excellent new year celebration in McMurdo in Antarctica. The song itself isn't particularly sad, the time I remember was the best time of my life, but it makes me melancholy because that wonderful time ended, and I had to go back to real life.

On the other hand 'Lying eyes' is probably a closer reflection of our real lives.

Edited November 21, 2019 by BritManToo

[nikmar]

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

On the other hand 'Lying eyes' is probably a closer reflection of our real lives.

Does it say something about modern life that they don't make decent music anymore? The stuff young people play now, that electronic heavy base stuff is music for morons. The only emotion I have listening to that <deleted> is of committing violence against the person playing it.

 

First song I remember in my life was Yellow Rose of Texas. I played it on a juke box, twice.

Do they even have juke boxes anymore?

[BritManToo]

Plenty of decent music being made today, you just don't look in the right places.

 

[SunsetT]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Does it say something about modern life that they don't make decent music anymore? The stuff young people play now, that electronic heavy base stuff is music for morons. The only emotion I have listening to that <deleted> is of committing violence against the person playing it.

 

First song I remember in my life was Yellow Rose of Texas. I played it on a juke box, twice.

Do they even have juke boxes anymore?

2 points:

 

1) Regarding why sad music is more powerful and enduring. Is it simply because the songs have deeper stronger emotions and more real emotions invested in them usually by the singer/songwriter having had their heart broken; i.e., It is more soulful?

 

2) Ref. Heavy bass and too loud music: This is the bane of my life at the moment and ruining Thailand for me! Everyone seems to be buying suitcase size speakers from the supermarkets or aquiring bigger hifi systems for their homes and pickups all with super bass output and they are blasting out music at a ridiculous volume.  Where I stay I like to stroll around a quite small, twice a week, local evening market. This week there were 4 pickups blasting out heavy bass music at a ridiculous volume, and 2 right next to each other! As I walk by them my stomach and abdomen literally vibrate making me feel quite nauseous. The Thais dont seem to be bothered by it and if they were they probably wouldnt complain anyway. I loved heavy bass when I was young but it never enough to affect me physically as this does. When I 1st lived in my Thai town 13 yrs ago sure it was noisy and nearly every night u could here music coming from somewhere or another, but it was music and not just a thumping bass. And if it was close enough to bother me I could close the windows and/or use earplugs solving the problem. But it is impossible to shut out this sickening heavy bass out of your room/house because it resonates inside the space u r in and sometimes even makes things vibrate. I usually stay at a hotel (BS Residence) near Suvarnabhumi when I arrive and before I fly home. Some of their rooms have always been notoriously noisy from a nearby all night karaoke bar but earplugs usually enabled one to sleep, but this March the karaoke had been replaced by this horrendous heavy bass dance music which made my room shake and forced me to try and sleep on the small bathroom floor which was quiet until it thankfully stopped early at 2.30am! It would not be so bad if u could actually hear the music but all u can hear and feel is this sickening bass even coming from miles away. And for some reason it does not have a consistent beat as music used to have and to which u could relax somewhat and 'settle' into the rhthym and possibly get to sleep. No! the beat seems to be quite erratic and also constantly keeps changing. Another pleasure I like is walking or cycling along the river or around a lake at sunset to enjoy the special mellow vibe at this time. There have always been one or two groups of ladies doing aerobic dances of different kinds which was very nice to see and the music was not that loud and soon died away after u had passed by. But now the groups have gradually increased in number  and have all aquired these huge suitcase speakers and they seem to be competing with each other in volume. There used to be one small friendly group of lovely old ladies in their 70s and 80s doing their steps to a little ghetto blaster, but now, even they, or the younger ones who have replaced them, have one of these huge speakers turned up to a ridiculous volume! What makes it worse is that they usually dance to music of very poor sound quality which is accentuated by the horrendous volume! So now I can hear one group or another for almost the entirety of my walk/cycle. In fact now I prefer to forego the sunset and go later when it is dark and they have gone home! The Thais really do seem to have the gift of ruining everything!

 

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, SunsetT said:

2 points:

 

1) Regarding why sad music is more powerful and enduring. Is it simply because the songs have deeper stronger emotions and more real emotions invested in them usually by the singer/songwriter having had their heart broken; i.e., It is more soulful?

 

2) Ref. Heavy bass and too loud music: This is the bane of my life at the moment and ruining Thailand for me! Everyone seems to be buying suitcase size speakers from the supermarkets or aquiring bigger hifi systems for their homes and pickups all with super bass output and they are blasting out music at a ridiculous volume.  Where I stay I like to stroll around a quite small, twice a week, local evening market. This week there were 4 pickups blasting out heavy bass music at a ridiculous volume, and 2 right next to each other! As I walk by them my stomach and abdomen literally vibrate making me feel quite nauseous. The Thais dont seem to be bothered by it and if they were they probably wouldnt complain anyway. I loved heavy bass when I was young but it never enough to affect me physically as this does. When I 1st lived in my Thai town 13 yrs ago sure it was noisy and nearly every night u could here music coming from somewhere or another, but it was music and not just a thumping bass. And if it was close enough to bother me I could close the windows and/or use earplugs solving the problem. But it is impossible to shut out this sickening heavy bass out of your room/house because it resonates inside the space u r in and sometimes even makes things vibrate. I usually stay at a hotel (BS Residence) near Suvarnabhumi when I arrive and before I fly home. Some of their rooms have always been notoriously noisy from a nearby all night karaoke bar but earplugs usually enabled one to sleep, but this March the karaoke had been replaced by this horrendous heavy bass dance music which made my room shake and forced me to try and sleep on the small bathroom floor which was quiet until it thankfully stopped early at 2.30am! It would not be so bad if u could actually hear the music but all u can hear and feel is this sickening bass even coming from miles away. And for some reason it does not have a consistent beat as music used to have and to which u could relax somewhat and 'settle' into the rhthym and possibly get to sleep. No! the beat seems to be quite erratic and also constantly keeps changing. Another pleasure I like is walking or cycling along the river or around a lake at sunset to enjoy the special mellow vibe at this time. There have always been one or two groups of ladies doing aerobic dances of different kinds which was very nice to see and the music was not that loud and soon died away after u had passed by. But now the groups have gradually increased in number  and have all aquired these huge suitcase speakers and they seem to be competing with each other in volume. There used to be one small friendly group of lovely old ladies in their 70s and 80s doing their steps to a little ghetto blaster, but now, even they, or the younger ones who have replaced them, have one of these huge speakers turned up to a ridiculous volume! What makes it worse is that they usually dance to music of very poor sound quality which is accentuated by the horrendous volume! So now I can hear one group or another for almost the entirety of my walk/cycle. In fact now I prefer to forego the sunset and go later when it is dark and they have gone home! The Thais really do seem to have the gift of ruining everything!

 

I too loath the heavy bass electronic so called music, but it has been the Thai way for a long time. I stopped going to gogos decades ago when proper music was replaced by noise to make me kill myself to.

Way back in the early 90s I walked across Sanam Luang during some sort of occasion. There was a bank of speakers about 20 feet high and when I was in front of them it felt like my ears were bleeding.

In Lamphun I lived next to a swamp. I could clearly hear the late night karaokes on the other side of the swamp. luckily the bedroom was on the other side of the house.

My wife took me to a local night club- I couldn't stay inside as the music was so loud.

 

I think I've cornered the market on melancholy. I watched a DVD of Casualty couple of nights ago. I've watched Casualty since the first one in 1986 till I left the UK in 2009. During that time Charlie changed from a curly haired young man to a grey haired curmudgeon. Just watching a work of fiction made me melancholy. I think there is no hope for me:-)

[sunnyboy2018]

Melancholy is an indulgent waste of time which one grows out of after adolescence. As Keats pointed out, melancholy, and most people on this thread talking about unhappy relationships, wives,  kids etc, do NOT understand the meaning of melancholy, that melancholy can be defeated by the power of love, beauty and nature. The whole point of melancholy is that it is not feeling sad or desperate or depressed and is not caused by anyone or anything...Its a change in consciousness that taints all life with a wistful but destructive view and is tempting and indulgent thus common in adolescence. 

Ode on Melancholy

By John Keats

No, no, go not to Lethe, neither twist

       Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;

Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd

       By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;

               Make not your rosary of yew-berries,

       Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be

               Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl

A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;

       For shade to shade will come too drowsily,

               And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

 

But when the melancholy fit shall fall

       Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,

That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,

       And hides the green hill in an April shroud;

Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,

       Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,

               Or on the wealth of globed peonies;

Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,

       Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,

               And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

 

She dwells with Beauty—Beauty that must die;

       And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips

Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,

       Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:

Ay, in the very temple of Delight

       Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,

               Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue

       Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;

His soul shalt taste the sadness of her might,

               And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

 

 

Edited November 21, 2019 by sunnyboy2018

[thaibeachlovers]

19 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

Melancholy is an indulgent waste of time which one grows out of after adolescence. As Keats pointed out, melancholy, and most people on this thread talking about unhappy relationships, wives,  kids etc, do NOT understand the meaning of melancholy, that melancholy can be defeated by the power of love, beauty and nature. The whole point of melancholy is that it is not feeling sad or desperate or depressed and is not caused by anyone or anything...Its a change in consciousness that taints all life with a wistful but destructive view and is tempting and indulgent thus common in adolescence. 

Ode on Melancholy

By John Keats

No, no, go not to Lethe, neither twist

       Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;

Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd

       By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;

               Make not your rosary of yew-berries,

       Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be

               Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl

A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;

       For shade to shade will come too drowsily,

               And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

 

But when the melancholy fit shall fall

       Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,

That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,

       And hides the green hill in an April shroud;

Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,

       Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,

               Or on the wealth of globed peonies;

Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,

       Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,

               And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

 

She dwells with Beauty—Beauty that must die;

       And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips

Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,

       Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:

Ay, in the very temple of Delight

       Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,

               Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue

       Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;

His soul shalt taste the sadness of her might,

               And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

 

 

LOL. I'm tempted to say rubbish, but you are entitled to your opinion.

How many people in the world experience "love" right now? Not many. Not talking about "lust", which is nothing to do with love. English is such a poor language to communicate nuances of feelings.

 

Only a poet experiencing melancholia could write a poem about it, just as no one not experienced the blues can sing the "blues".

 

An entire race was/ is imbued with melancholia. The Celts suffer/ed from it.

 

All I can say to you is that if you have not yourself experienced melancholia, you don't know what it is.

It's entirely possible to appreciate beauty and nature, yet be melancholic.

 

I will accept that I might be using "melancholia" in a different way from what you understand, but other words don't fit. It's not "sadness" per se, more a feeling of loss or regret. Like I said, English is rubbish when it comes to expressing nuances of emotion.

[soalbundy]

On 11/20/2019 at 8:23 AM, geronimo said:

emotion is the cause of all suffering ....

negative emotions cause suffering, but one can still be moved to tears by the beauty of a melancholy concerto played well, it reaches into the deep well of human existence, it is a form of melancholy that can be enjoyed, the emotions of watching a small child enjoying its first triumph, especially if it's your own is uplifting. Being immune to your own personal disasters takes practice, it is something I have worked on for years, I don't think I have achieved 100% success but it's near enough for me, I am not the Buddha, there is no need to be, it is enough to appreciate a beautiful painting without wishing to have been the artist.

I remember a man in my office in Munich, a soft spoken man with humour and great intelligence, very efficient. At meetings he spoke softly and everybody strained to hear what he had to say. Only now with distance have I come to realize that the empathy and warmth that flowed from him was why people were so drawn to him. I realize that I could never attain these qualities, at least not in that intensity, because he didn't have to try, it came naturally to him, it is who he is but I can take pleasure in his example without regretting who I am.

[cmsally]

Thread closed at OP's request.