Are you a happy person?

[rumak]

if i had to sum it up  ( for myself)  :   I try to do the best I can with the cards I am dealt.

 

 

[Moonlover]

I've learned a very simple, but effective trick in life. If, at any time I feel unhappy, I go for a long walk and pretend that I am happy. When I arrive home my malaise has usually gone and whatever it was that made me unhappy suddenly seems trivial.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 27, 2019 by Moonlover

[smileydude]

I am happy more often then I am not otherwise I’d probably be depressed.

 

I think in the same exact situation one person can be happy while the other may not be.

 

This is because being happy is relative to how you intrepret your situation and this depends on your attitude, past experience and your mental EQ (how you deal with things).

 

I read an article about research done by Harvard over a 40 year period which followed a group of people to determine what factors determined longevity.  Surprisingly it wasn’t if you were a non-smoker, ate healthy or exercised regularly but was whoever had a a close knit of friends and family around them tended to live longer.  So having someone around who can lend you money in times of need, who will always be there to listen to your problems or support you in times of crisis will have an effect on your mental well-being which in turn supports your physical well-being.  

 

Happiness is a state of mind determined by how we look at things.

 

I am always amazed at how people who are born blind or without limbs can be happy while some of us are unhappy at the most trivial of things e.g. don’t have enough money to buy the latest iPhone, too little “likes on social media” etc.

[soalbundy]

1 hour ago, rumak said:

There is another thread going  :   The growing old curse..... how are you dealing with it ?

 

That is a major challenge for many of us older folks on TV,  i would imagine.  Strange, still

think i"m  30 years old sometimes    haha   

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AThycGCakk

Here some rather lovely 100 year olds

[Puchaiyank]

Happiness is an attitude...a frame of mind...that you will persevere through the hard times as sunshine waits on the other side.

 

It helps to know when to cut your losses when factors beyond your control are causing you pain.

 

Choose to be happy...and so you will!   ????

[ivor bigun]

I have a lovely wife ,a lovely family, a nice house and car ,i have seen much of the world,it would be nice to have a bit more money and to know that i will never be ill but die in my sleep ,not knowing about it ,but yes i am very happy .

[4MyEgo]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

are some just born to be happy, whatever life throws at them?

My outlook has always been, as long as we are healthy, we have nothing to complain about, happy, happy, happy, and we will continue to enjoy the ride, bumps and all, and if the bumps get a bit more bumpy, then we can always turn on the TV and watch commercials, because I have never seen anyone in a commercial being unhappy ????

 

[Tagged]

1 hour ago, rumak said:

I am sure she has her "wish list"  as well   ????

Bite my tongue everytime I read someone comment looks, weight, and their expectations for a woman, if they ever had a close look at themselves in the mirror, and realized that guy right there is,,,,,,,

 

3. Class men expect 1. Class women for peanuts. 

[villagefarang]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Is it personality? Is it looks? Is it an undefinable X factor- are some just born to be happy, whatever life throws at them?

Personality, looks, health, money and an undefinable X factor all play a part.  I am happy mainly because I choose to be happy but that does not mean I am giddy or joyful every minute of the day and night.  My senses are dulled as I drift off to sleep but I do not see that as something negative.  As I drift off to sleep, I know beauty will greet me again when I awake, and there is happiness to be found in that expectation.  I look forward to those moments of joy and ecstasy in life because I know they do not last, like a beautiful sunset.  I do not dwell on disappointments because I know they do not last, either.  I remember the good, not the bad, reinforcing my ability to experience joy and happiness in my life.

 

It is all about the journey and I love my journey down the river of life.

 

 

[worgeordie]

Yes I am happy,the Sun is shining,what more could you want.

regards worgeordie

[PatOngo]

Are you a happy person?

Extremely, I have been earning Thai baht for years and my worth has increased by 7% without doing anything!

[AlexRich]

I think people put too much emphasis on being "happy" all of the time, as we're human beings not robots ... it's simply not our natural permanent state. As long as I'm fit and healthy and engaged in doing things that I enjoy I can't ask for anything more. If I ever go through a difficult time or stressful situation (and we all do) I think about all of the other people out there who are facing horrendous challenges or the several "kids" I knew from school who lost their lives at a young age ... it puts things in perspective. 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, Chazar said:

Happiness is a  human construct

I think a lot of us are unhappy because we think we are entitled to be happy and because of life we aren't. If I'd been born in the middle ages I'd have been a serf and died years ago of overwork or war. I'd never have thought I was entitled to be happy, and might have been content with my lot when I wasn't working or in battle. In other words, are we unhappy because we think we should be but aren't, and if we didn't think we should be would be at least content with our lot?

IMO, our desire for stuff makes us unhappy, because no matter how much stuff we have we will never have enough.

If I could just give everything away, and only have what I actually need, I might be happy, but to date I haven't been able to make the jump mentally. If I could go back in time to when I got my first job, I might be able to resist buying anything unnecessary, but I love my stuff too much to give it away now.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Moonlover said:

I've learned a very simple, but effective trick in life. If, at any time I feel unhappy, I go for a long walk and pretend that I am happy. When I arrive home my malaise has usually gone and whatever it was that made me unhappy suddenly seems trivial.

 

 

 

 

I used to do that when I was angry, and when I got back I'd be less angry. Unfortunately I can no longer go for walks long enough to do the trick. Luckily though, not having a wife to make me angry anymore, I don't need to go for long walks now.

[thaibeachlovers]

This may or may not be relevant.

When I was stationed in Antarctica there were loads of mountaineer types there. They seemed confident, popular, well adjusted and happy. However, when I got to know them better, they weren't any more confident or happy than the rest of us, they just hid it better.

[thaibeachlovers]

This song has much to say about happiness.

Let the slave sung by Van Morrison.

 

Lyrics

Let the slave grinding at the mill run out into the field
Let him look up into the heavens and laugh in the bright air
Let the enchained soul shut up in darkness and in sighing
Whose face has never seen a smile in thirty weary years

Rose and look out, his chains are loose, his dungeon doors are open
And let his wife and children return from the oppressor's scourge
They look behind at every step and believe it is a dream
Singing, the sun has left his blackness and has found a fresher morning
And the fair moon rejoices in the clear and cloudless night

For empire is no more
And now the lion and wolf shall cease

For everything that lives is holy
For everything that lives is holy
For everything that lives is holy
For everything that lives is holy

What is the price of experience? Do men buy it for a song?
Or wisdom for a dance in the street? No, it is bought with the price
Of all that a man hath, his house, his wife, his children
Wisdom is sold in the desolate market where none come to buy

And in the withered field where the farmer plows for bread in vain
It is an easy thing to triumph in the summer's sun
And in the vintage and to sing on the wagon loaded with corn
It is an easy thing to talk of patience to the afflicted

To speak the laws of prudence to the homeless wanderer
To listen to the hungry raven's cry in wintry season
When the red blood is filled with wine and with the marrow of lambs

It is an easy thing to laugh at wrathful elements
To hear the dog howl at the wintry door
The ox in the slaughter house moan
To see a God on every wind and a blessing on every blast

To hear sounds of love in the thunder storm
That destroys our enemies' house
To rejoice in the blight that covers his field
And the sickness that cuts off his children

While our olive and vine sing and laugh 'round our door
And our children bring fruits and flowers
Then the groan and the dolor are quite forgotten
And the slave grinding at the mill
And the captive in chains and the poor in the prison

And the soldier in the field
When the shattered bone hath laid him groaning
Among the happier dead
It is an easy thing to rejoice in the tents of prosperity
Thus, could I sing and thus, rejoice but it is not so with me

[Berkshire]

I remember someone saying once that "you're truly happy five times in your life."  Which is to say that one cannot be happy all the time.  I remember being truly happy when I went to Disneyland for the 1st time (around 9 yrs old), or finding out that the girl I really liked felt the same....things like that.  But on an everyday basis, life is simply up and down.  For the most part, I'm pretty content.  Good days outnumber the bad, which is all that matters. 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

My outlook has always been, as long as we are healthy, we have nothing to complain about, happy, happy, happy, and we will continue to enjoy the ride, bumps and all, and if the bumps get a bit more bumpy, then we can always turn on the TV and watch commercials, because I have never seen anyone in a commercial being unhappy ????

 

When I wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, I'm grateful; if I make it through the day without a letter from the government saying they are cutting my pension ( that happened ), or being evicted because they want to redevelop my accommodation ( which I'm expecting at some time ), I'm content; if I see a wondrous sunset, I thank "God" for letting me share in such marvels of nature.

 

However, I remember the times I was happy, when I had a wife that loved me and all was well with my world. I miss that feeling because it was <deleted> marvellous.

I think I'd be happier if I'd never known real love, but I have, and life without love is a shallow thing.

[4MyEgo]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I think I'd be happier if I'd never known real love, but I have, and life without love is a shallow thing.

As the saying goes, "better to have loved, than to have never loved at all".

 

Sorry for your lose, my real happiness started 13 years ago when I met my 2nd wife, and I hope I go before her, because staying here with 4 kids would do my head in ????

 

[Saltire]

I think materialism has a lot to do with unhappiness.

 

About 15 years ago after a messy divorce I sold everything I owned (or still had left!) in the UK and left to work in Wuhan in China. I'd never been anywhere outside Europe, USA etc. It was an eye opener, China was not as it is now.

 

Never since then have I spent a minute worrying if I can afford a new car, a bigger house, the latest hifi system, latest iphone etc. I used to spend a ridiculous amount on myself before I left the UK. I had a new car pretty much every year of my working life. I guess back then this is what I equated to 'happiness'.

 

My 2 years in China changed me from being materialistic to not giving a monkey's about posessions. I am happier now than ever in my life, better late than never. Not working for the last 8 years has helped with contentment. Everything I own can fit in 2 suitcases, apart from a small flat back in the UK which I let out and bought specifically in case the worse happens and I need to go back to live. Hope that never happens, as I am pretty sure that would be back to being bloody miserable.

 

And the icing on the cake - I married a Thai lady who also does not care much for posessions for the sake of them. Apart from gold of course ???? .

 

[riclag]

Happiness is sitting down in a crowded place ,drinking a hot latte or cold beer ,while watching young ladies pass bye . Actually I do enjoy looking and gazing upon all beautiful attractions!

Edited November 27, 2019 by riclag

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, riclag said:

Happiness is sitting down in a crowded place ,drinking a hot latte or cold beer ,while watching young ladies pass bye 

You are confusing lust with happiness. I've spent many an hour burd watching, and while it was extremely enjoyable, the sensation I felt was not happiness!

[Roadman]

I agree with the Abe Lincoln quote.

Your upbringing whether good or completely screwed up like mine, your teen and twenties whether good or completely screwed up like mine have nothing to do with it.
It’s your ability to learn that <deleted> happens, and learning to deal with it, and being happy with what you still have when all around you is turning to custard.
Perfect example right now is we had our house on the market to move to another city for another position in the same company. Its sitting three months later unsold with the master bedroom en-suite shelled out due to a leak in the shower mixer, me living away from home during the work week, tough for a homie, and paying for Airbnb from my own pocket, and insurance only shelling out $5k towards the $20k cost to take out all the black mold framing and replace the bathroom. Saturday night an unlicensed, uninsured driver ran a Give way and took out and probably wrote off our Honda Jazz that we gifted our youngest daughter. Thankfully the airbags did their job. Then within 36 hours a delivery truck took out the front of my wife’s hospital parked BMW which I brought her new as a gift to get through her kidney dialysis and transplant. Point is thirty years ago the f..kwit unbalanced me would have lost all reality with a constant flow of misfortune like that and wanted to rip someone’s head off. Now as the totally balanced and happy guy I have learnt to become, its more about everybody that I love and are happy to be, which will get through all this unscathed, even several $000k out of pocket and the countless inconvenience.

Its simple...<deleted> is part of life. It’s your ability to learn to deal with it that still leaves you happy even at the times when it’s buckets loads tipped on you. And all that carnage has dwarfed as at the same time it was occurring we confirmed all of us coming from three different cities and struggling to catch up together all year spending Xmas together. 

[riclag]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You are confusing lust with happiness. I've spent many an hour burd watching, and while it was extremely enjoyable, the sensation I felt was not happiness!

Any time I can put my mind at ease  is happiness, gazing at life and its natural wonders, women or nature's scenery, its very tranquil !

[rumak]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

This may or may not be relevant.

When I was stationed in Antarctica there were loads of mountaineer types there. They seemed confident, popular, well adjusted and happy. However, when I got to know them better, they weren't any more confident or happy than the rest of us, they just hid it better.

ain't that the truth.    the percentage of "celebrities"  and other wealthy people that are happy might even be less than average.   its all about the image,  till the camera breaks

[simon43]

Reading some posts in this thread, is it materialism and hunger for $$$ that brings us unhappiness?

[lensta]

In my opinion, I don't think many people can remember when they were truly happy.

[natway09]

I always believe that my glass is half full,

Then again I see some people that are obviously distraught about life in general & some have been through the wringer which will change their outlook.

I know it is easy to say but "when life gives you a lemon,,,,,,,go & make lemonade

[Ireland32]

Yes, Now after 7 years of a lying cheating stealing Pig of a gf, I now have a girl who was a housewife , Temple going Sweetheart, So Damn Lucky after shopping for a couple of years, I’m in Korat so not ez to find a English speaking girl, I was stupid not to learn Thai, Ex always talking to my Friend, warning sign right there, can’t say their name red flag

[spidermike007]

Older people are perceived as cynics and misanthropes. But, they are simply people who have at last heard the still, sad music of humanity, played by a mediocre rock band howling for fame.