Swedes and Turks and Aussies Gang Up to nearly kill American

In Bangkok to attend a conference and at the hotel, I was delighted to be served complimentary glasses of quite thoroughly-chilled Hardy’s Chardonnay from Australia. While chatting and joking with the many people in attendance, the number of glasses consumed soon became an unknown number. Having eventually had my fill of this delightful nectar, combined with a delectable assortment of fine Thai cuisine, I decided to avail myself of the dual saunas I had noticed earlier in the day at the hotel. It had been ages since I was able to enjoy the soothing relaxation and rejuvenating pleasures of a Turkish steam sauna, so I went there first. Ahhhhh, just right. Steam billowing into the room and as it’s sole occupant, I was able to recline, with towels, on the tiles of the sauna’s stepped sitting arrangement. After a timed 15 minute period, I went off to cool down in a nice shower. After a 5 minute cooling down period, I then went to the next room where a very attractive Swedish sauna stood. Going in, it was obvious the humidity needed to be increased, so I dutifully spooned, from the wooden bucket, some aromatic water onto the hot coals of the sauna…Ohhhh….. they hissed at the intrusion and unleashed a plume of heat that quickly consumed the room… Ahhhh… the sweat soon poured out of me… all the toxins quickly oozing out of my pores…and as, once again ,the lone occupant of the room the experience was almost regal. Sitting on the wooden seat, it all felt so incredibly good. The next thing I remember, I was being helped to my feet by an attendant who luckily happened by… a nasty bump on my head and an extremely dry mouth my temporary souvenirs.

So as a cautionary report, be wary of encountering Aussies, Turks, and Swedes, particularly in succession… as they can team up to create a formidable gang that could quite easily kill someone. I was lucky to have survived the onslaught, but not everyone can expect to be so fortunate.

In the absence of a Bangkok Herald-Examiner byline, you can take this report as truthful.

This brings back memories of a swimming pool party at a friend's house years ago...we were heavily drinking and figured to try out the sauna. Noticing the heat inside, we decided to cool internally with Campari/Orange. Instead of water, someone poured then sparkling wine on the lava stones. A bad idea, do not try this at home....what am I saying....no words can describe the decadency of this evening.

Oh, yes, and the next morning, partly sobered out we were all considering ourselves pretty lucky for not passing out in the sauna as alcohol and sauna in fact is a bad mix...

Oh, yes, and the next morning, partly sobered out we were all considering ourselves pretty lucky for not passing out in the sauna as alcohol and sauna in fact is a bad mix...

Yes, by heating yourself up and sweating out water you have in fact created a human still. The good lord turned water into wine and as his faithful disciple you are just continuing the process to a logical conclusion - pure alchohol.

Personally I avoid saunas especially the one in Bedlam. I can stand the heat okay, it's being slapped around by those cabbage leaves that stretches my moral fiber to the limit.

Oh, yes, and the next morning, partly sobered out we were all considering ourselves pretty lucky for not passing out in the sauna as alcohol and sauna in fact is a bad mix...

Yes, by heating yourself up and sweating out water you have in fact created a human still. The good lord turned water into wine and as his faithful disciple you are just continuing the process to a logical conclusion - pure alchohol.

Personally I avoid saunas especially the one in Bedlam. I can stand the heat okay, it's being slapped around by those cabbage leaves that stretches my moral fiber to the limit.

There's a sauna in Bedlam? Where? Oh, don't tell me, another one of those "guy only" things. Oh, wait, it can't be. If there's any slapping to be done with cabbage leaves, Jet must be there!

Does alcohol & sauna equal a worse changover than alcohol alone?

No, I don't do saunas, NR. Dry out your skin. Herbal steams. 32 or 34? herbs bubbling away in the cauldron below the teak steam house. Five minutes and hangover, garlic breath, depression, you name it, vanish. Go out, rinse off the excreted toxins, drink herbal tea or water, and then resteam. Redo all day. Gets all the crap out of your body so you can start toxicating all over. Last time I was in Vientiane and locale, it cost about US$0.50. Sadly, at the trendy spas in Thailand, it's about US$30-40 a visit.

Alcohol and saunas are fine. Just ask the Finns.

Instead of water, someone poured then sparkling wine on the lava stones. A bad idea, do not try this at home....what am I saying....no words can describe the decadency of this evening.

Alcohol and saunas are fine. Just ask the Finns.

If you pour anything but water on the stones it must be Vodka. Sparkling wine..... blahaaa....

(From Sweden but mother from the border to Finland. Up there they know what a sauna is and how to use it!)

edit: If you don't have Vodka then Moonshine is absolutely OK!

I remember the vapourized alcohol burning in the eyes. You also breathe it in which just accelerates your way into delirium to a very fast pace...

excellent post SR/J. Wonderful tale!