The week that was in Thailand news: Missing April Fools - but then everyday seems like that in Thailand!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Missing April Fools - but then everyday seems like that in Thailand!

 

 

Wednesday was a particularly depressing day.

 

April 1st is always eagerly anticipated by journalists the world over who plan for months in advance to be ready with April Fools' Day spoofs to hoodwink and amuse readers. I have pulled off some good ones in my career - not least of all convincing many people a couple of years ago that Pattaya's finest were arresting tourists for playing Connect Four on the bar tops. As with all spoofs, their connection to some very real world eventuality - for example being stopped for nothing by the Thai police - ensures their trick-ability.

 

On Monday I had received a communication from my editor that all April Fool tricks were off this year. It was felt to be too difficult a time to put out fake news. I felt it was a shame because humor is especially needed at a time like this when the great majority of us are living in sometimes difficult and often uncharted circumstances.

 

My editor's edict was not unexpected and was echoed by the first news story the following day from Thai authorities warning there should be no spoofs about Covid-19 - that was far too serious to even contemplate a joke. On pain of a big fine or imprisonment.

 

In March I had been conniving with a guy I know on a story that would have revealed the true colors of several forum curmudgeons. My contact mailed me to say....better not now. Too sensitive. I'd already come to a similar conclusion. So I reckoned that I'd just have to go with saying that Thailand was going to introduce four hour daylight saving/clocks forward legislation to combat the virus. People would get up later and so social distancing and congregation would be enhanced. That sort of thing.

 

My editor probably saved me two years in the Thai slammer for that. So thanks to him for clipping my wings! Back to the "jail cell" of my condo with two young children begging for attention and a wife going stir crazy at being denied Songkran holidays with her aging mum and dad.

 

And back to translating stories on April 1st with one wily journo eye on stories that might be trying to hoodwink the hoodwinker. As is usually the case on Thaivisa, most days seem like April 1st, it's hard to believe some of the nonsense.

 

(Though I should say here Thaivisa should be recognized for the service they, OK we, are providing. There is much up to date and important news being posted in a very timely and helpful manner. Though many stories inevitably concentrate on foreigners it is only because Thaivisa caters to a largely non-Thai clientele. Also the British Embassy has been helpful in keeping in touch and attempting to convey their latest advice and recommendations. You may think the help is too little or too late. I think they are doing their best behind the scenes. Other embassies may like to get in touch so this forum can be used to inform more personally and not just in terms of headline news. Editorial teams are busting a gut on long days to keep the site fresh and relevant. Traffic is enormous and everyone here realizes the value of what we hopefully can provide).

 

Rooster puts down his company cap marked with "Make TV Great Again" and returns to his keyboard......

 

I have it easy. My life is usually very solitary and homey. I'm not short of money - yet - and I live in a nice place with everything I need. That is an internet connection for work and play and viewing. And a Scrabble board for endless games of Me vs Me. I have probably played more of those than any person alive in the last 30 years. We've been in lock down for the best part of two months already.

 

But when I'm beginning to struggle with boredom, when I'm itching to get out, when I'm feeling the pressure, then I know for many more sociable and perhaps younger individuals with less experience, life must be getting pretty unpleasant at the moment. My son in Liverpool said he was going bonkers.

 

It was a week without much letup in the bad news with stories from around the world and here in Thailand following quite predictable paths of doom and gloom. Coronavirus cases in Thailand hurtled towards 2,000 mirroring the doubling of cases worldwide that saw a million infected globally by Friday. On Friday the effect on visitors who remain in Thailand started to be even more keenly felt.

 

Here are a selection of some of the best Covid-19 stories in another momentous week on Thaivisa. Follow the links to the source stories many of which are translated from the Thai press or provided by English language agencies. I have aimed for a mixture of the deadly serious and the mildly flippant. Call it my reaction to being denied April Fools.

 

1. Prime Minister Prayut declared a curfew nationwide to run from 10 pm to 4 am. Penalties for violators are jail and heavy fines. The advice is stay home and only go out in the day if you need food, medicine or exercise. Uncle Too sent out an English translation of his advice and encouragement to Thais - it seemed sensible and reasonable.

 

It contained the sentence: "If we are resilient and disciplined as a people we will overcome this". This is a revealing sentence. I have always felt that Thais are resilient - they have suffered much (especially at the hands of their leaders!) but always manage to bounce back with good humor and grace. But their indiscipline is legendary as is their lawlessness. For me it is part of their makeup that has made life in the kingdom so happy. Now it threatens their very existence.

 

I like to recall what Thomas More said to Roper in a "Man For All Seasons". Roper said he would break every law to get at the Devil. Wise lawyer More cautioned that when all laws were cut down what was there left to protect Roper should the Devil turn on him? The Thais need to respect the law at this time and let their legendary kindness, also mentioned by Prayut, shine through. The Devil is the virus and its impact can be hellish. It's no time to do as you please whether you are Thai or any other nationality. It's time to do the right thing for the common good.

 

2. Different provinces came up with different interpretations of lock down, of closure or restriction of movement. In Samut Sakhon fines were promised for those going out without masks. In the West some experts were sticking to their guns about the wearing of masks being largely pointless. But some pointed to Asia where there are success stories in preventing the virus spreading so fast and where mask wearing is high. A survey indicated more than 90% of Thais were wearing masks. In Bangkok it looked that way.

 

3. Pattaya initially went into "virtual" lock down after a dramatic increase in the number of cases in Chonburi. More hotel closures were promised leaving foreigners still in the resort to wonder what they might do if they are turfed out of their accommodation. Beaches were shut but swimming was allowed and while you could get a haircut you couldn't get a manicure! It rather summed up the bitty approach.

 

4 Phuket is soon to shut its airport and that province came to be known as a "hotbed" along with Bangkok and surrounding provinces and several in the far south. Convenience stores were also given the hotbed tag with many nationwide closing overnight before the curfew put an end to them all anyway. Some posters wondered why target 7-Elevens? Well, open your eyes. Many of them have become social gathering spots a bit like the British pub - not something that is needed right now!

 

5. Bans on the sale of alcohol freaked out those who haven't got stocks and need daily access to C2H5OH. A Thai doctor advised staying off the beer and spirits as it made you more susceptible to the virus in the first place by attacking immune systems. Forum posters boasted of their foresight with the size of their stocks. Rooster smirked inwardly, glad about giving up booze, fags and gluttony over the last 15 years. My last real guilty secret - sugar - is everywhere though even that is a bit risky after the exercise that burns it off has been lacking lately!

 

However, Mrs R has stopped grabbing the paunch perhaps fearful that hers is starting to show like a lady pregnant for three months!

 

6. Some sensible decisions were made. The Department of Land Transport told drivers whose licenses were about to expire just to wait until 15 days after the emergency decree is rescinded before going to renew. However long that may be is a moot point right now. Visa woes were relieved when news came that  tourists at least would be eligible for an automatic extension. Cue the Thaivisa forum curmudgeons to pile into a fierce round of "What About Us Old Codgers And Our 90 Day Reports". Gouging by airlines is, at least, to be investigated and inquiries into mask-mischief and hoarding are expected.

 

7. A story that certainly fell into the "That must be an April Fool" category was one where a Thai construction worker supposedly crossed the road to the police station on foot and begged to be arrested for DUI. He explained that he was racked off (an Australian term I picked up in a year or two in the land formerly known as one of milk and honey). Yes thoroughly miffed with his employer.

 

"So please, pretty please sergeant would you arrest me for drinking a whole bottle of 40 degree spirit".

 

"But you walked here, you're not even disorderly?," pointed out the patient officer.

 

"Put me in the cells. I need a rest," came back the reply, "My employer will be over to pay the bail".

 

He was allowed to sleep off his fuzzy head before he went back across the road and continued constructing.

 

8. Reuters had one of the gaffes of the week in an economic impact piece when they reported on the plight of GIRLS dancing at the Alcazar Cabaret in Pattaya.

 

9. Some Brits in Patong were not the greatest advertisement for Blighty's education system. They were enjoying themselves with other nationalities and half a dozen Thai ladies (Rooster wistfully remembers the day when they weren't all covered in tattoos). The Essex lads thought nothing of making noise, drinking in a curfew situation and having an orgy on a rooftop and were duly raided by the chief of police who got a bonus in the shape of the miscreants' cocaine and ganja possession. What the Thai "Manual of Plod" , Subsection 3/7.1 calls: "Making the most of a crisis".

 

10. A US-cum-Thai gangster who robbed a 7-Eleven of 5,000 baht in Pattaya was called Roger. He gave a very nice "wai" after his comfortable arrest and the standard, "I lost my job because of coronavirus" and "Sorry to Society" routine. We were told that Roger was brought up in the hoods of LA where drug dealers would shoot their grannies who were back late with the milk. There he became a polyglot, yes he could speak five languages - Thai, English, Spanish, Mexican and Farang. Very smart, but to be quickly outdone by Pattaya plod is hardly a Badge of Honor, my dear Khun Roger.

 

11. The price of rice hit a seven year high. I couldn't help but think it was a thinly veiled barb attacking former PM Yingluck and her cronies, famous for their collective roles in the Rice Splurging Scheme, I think it was.  I met Yingluck on just one occasion and had a picture taken with her that is framed and hung adjacent to my downstairs toilet at bowl level. (Yes that is 'bowl', I didn't miss out the 'E' after the W). I taught her son who, like his mom, appeared to be very pleasant. An heirloom in my collection of Thai memorabilia is an envelope addressed to me from Yingluck that contained 2,000 baht. A white envelope, incidentally.

 

12. Notable by his absence this week was the latest inductee to Thailand's illustrious pantheon of pathetic politicians, hapless Anutin Charnvirakul. One might expect the Health Minister to be on our screens 24/7 during the crisis but thankfully and as predicted last week he has been sidelined after his "dirty farang" and "blame the health workers" tirades. Before he inevitably resurfaces in another guise I would advise Khun Anutin to learn to chill a bit and practise biting his lower lip. It's true, sir, that the human race is a horrible mob, but we think politicians are ten times worse.

 

13. Yet more avenues of pleasure were cut off. Beaches closed and parks were shut. Here in Bangkok we have a few nice parks where formerly one could practice social distancing while cycling. It's a blow to see activities you once took for granted to be incrementally removed. For that is precisely what the government has achieved. To their credit I think they knew that to remove everything all at once would have led to riots. Crediting governments with intelligence can be foolhardy, but the Thais have been blundering on as good as anybody and only as bad as some. Their health system is not half as poor as some people online claim and their preparedness to face such a crisis was initially put at sixth best in the World by the WHO.

 

14. Thousands of foreigners headed to Koh Chang to do what I always do when I go there - get away from it all. I was a very frequent visitor from 1990 to 2010. It may turn out to be quite a haven in a storm but people from all backgrounds have gone there and they should monitor their health and be responsible. Small places can be good for keeping out the invader, but if they get in all hell can break loose.

 

15. In international news the USA and its president once again featured heavily. He has found it very hard to bully the virus. The country is battling the economic impact as a staggering 6 million applied for the dole. Things were increasingly grim in both the UK and mainland Europe. Watching the news bulletins was a trial in itself broken only by a manful stroll to the refrigerator to retrieve some crackers, Vegemite and Makro Cheddar. Such expeditions make our mini-worlds go round in these virus times.

 

16. Some of the most draconian methods yet were announced for Pattaya on Friday with the resort going into total lock down. Foreigners were identified as being largely responsible for bringing the virus there according to a report in Manager. Many of the foreigners who fled east to Koh Chang will be wondering about the sense of that decision after the Trat governor shut down the province from 12.01 am Saturday.

 

17. Sanook reported a rebellion of 100 Thai passengers who arrived back in the kingdom at Suwannaphum (my spelling) on Friday evening. They refused government sanctioned quarantine and were allowed to go home after a high ranking military man stepped in to calm the crowd. A crisis meeting with the PM expected to attend was planned for 9am. People with a military background will not take kindly to any rebellion.

 

18. In Hua Hin all foreigners who arrived after March 15th were obliged to register with the authorities or a hospital. Everywhere one looked this week measures against foreigners in particular were being ramped up.

 

Frankly, the stories in Thailand are getting more and more worrying. I would advise people to stay home and hunker down. If you are a tourist it is clearly well overdue to be thinking about getting out of Dodge. If you can't leave, stay in and follow the rules. Don't imagine that Thailand is Thailand and they won't be enforced.

 

And anyone thinking of visiting Thailand right now needs more than a health check.

 

They need their head examined.

 

No need to check the calendar for April Fools.

 

Rooster

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2020-04-04

Follow Thaivisa on LINE for breaking COVID-19 updates

[Samui Bodoh]

51 minutes ago, rooster59 said:

It was a week without much letup in the bad news with stories from around the world and here in Thailand following quite predictable paths of doom and gloom. Coronavirus cases in Thailand hurtled towards 2,000 mirroring the doubling of cases worldwide that saw a million infected globally by Friday. On Friday the effect on visitors who remain in Thailand started to be even more keenly felt.

An interesting read as always...

 

Again this week, I decided that I didn't want to follow the news in minute detail as it is depressing, so I just skimmed the papers and TVF for news and information. And, of course, read Rooster's summation of The Week That Was.

 

I think the people who disbelieve the government numbers on cases have a point. I think the people who doubt the doubters regarding the death toll numbers have a point. I think the people who favour the curfew have a point. I think the people who doubt the efficacy of the curfew also have a point. It seems like those that have argued that masks are a vital tool in fighting the virus have a point. I think those that previously heeded the WHO guidance regarding masks also had a point. I think those that advocate for a massive 'lock-down' have a point. I also think that those that argue that a massive lock-down will do terrible damage to Thai people, especially the poor, also have a point. I think that those who are worried about mass exodus from Bangkok and beyond to Issan/NE/N have a point. I also think that those who state that those poor Isaan-ers/Northern-ers must go home because they can't support themselves in Bangkok/elsewhere have a point. I think those that advocate shutting the borders have a point. I think those who advocated shutting the borders long ago also had a point. I think those who no longer see the need for shutting the borders as it is too late have a point. I think those who want to see some sort of 'Immigration Amnesty' have an excellent point. I think those who believe that Immigration wants to suck the funds out of people trapped here in a vampire-like fashion also have a point. I agree with everyone who states that making foreigners show up at Immigration offices around the country with stacks of photocopied documents is both stupid and needlessly cruel has a point. I think that those who advocate simply letting the virus run amok in order to attain 'herd immunity' quickly have a point, even if it isn't too humane. I think those who advocate a policy of 'Flattening the Curve' have a point. I also think those who state that 'Flattening the Curve' only works when you have sufficient medical equipment for large-scale treatments have a point. I think those who foresee a rise in petty (and other) crime have a point. I think those that fear the Thais attacking them because of the colour of their skin do not have much of a point. I think those who smile and make an effort to get along with their neighbours enjoy life in the kingdom and understand the point of being here. I think those that have been speculating as to the cause, severity, origins, numbers, and outcome, etc of the virus have a point. Hmm... Many points. I also think that those who say speculation without adequate data is pointless have a point.

 

To sum up, there are so many good points I agree with that I have become a human pin-cushion (and, a very very funny man! )

 

Normally on TVF, I yell (figuratively-speaking) at the government for their incompetence, criminality, nepotism, corrupt behaviour(s) and all around, general (pun intended) badness.

 

I will continue this week to try to hold my tongue. There is so much information that I do not know, so many details that I am unaware of, so many consequences and implications to decisions that I don't understand, and so much riding on the outcome that I can't bring myself to simply lash out because it'd make me feel better.

 

Rather, I am going to hope (perhaps foolishly) that the authorities make the correct decisions, both in Thailand and abroad, in order to get us all through this virus and its complications with the least amount of harm.

 

I sincerely hope that all reading are safe, happy, and virus free.

 

Take care everyone

 

[marko kok prong]

Rooster do you not have a pool at your condo,or is it closed? At least then you could have a swim,but i guess they would have closed it. Mine is still open but i don't live in a condo,mind you it full of leaves and other assorted things after the massive storm we had last night,welcome though it was,entire back garden under water,this morning all gone.Looks like i will have to get the mower out next week,downside to everything. Good column by the way.

[TPI]

On 4/4/2020 at 5:28 PM, rooster59 said:

"however, Mrs R has stopped grabbing the paunch perhaps fearful that hers is starting to show like a lady pregnant for three months"

A very dangerous statement! Please don't allow your good humour to over ride  your survival instincts!!

[PaDavid]

A great read as always Rooster. Thank you.
 

Knowing that your wife is from Loei, my neck of the woods, I thought you might be interested to hear what’s happening here. Yesterday there was a funeral in the village. When the old lady died, the phu yai ban put out a message on the tannoy as usual, but advised villagers that, as people would be attending from Bangkok, they would be advised not to attend either the wake or funeral. The funeral itself was somewhat subdued with probably less than 100 people following the coffin (I watched from the safety of my garden as the cortège passed my house). However, I recognised at least half the attendees as villagers and very few (including the monks) were wearing masks. 
 

Contrast this with neighbouring Nong Bua Lamphu, where one of my bicycle rides takes me through two villages sat in a corner of the province jutting into Loei. Two days ago I pulled up at one of my regular shops for a pit stop. I presented my bottle of Oishi to the lady proprietor who handed me a straw which she held in the middle (no delving in plastic bags previously delved in by many other hands), and placed a small cardboard box on the counter for my 15฿. Sat outside with my drink, watching the world go by, I noticed that everyone (ok I did see two miscreants) was wearing face masks - even those on motorbikes and bicycles. Obviously there had been a directive, whether from the village or higher up I don’t know. But, what a contrast with my village in Loei where life seems to carry on pretty much as normal. Crisis, what crisis?

[Kalasin Jo]

4 hours ago, PaDavid said:

A great read as always Rooster. Thank you.
 

Knowing that your wife is from Loei, my neck of the woods, I thought you might be interested to hear what’s happening here. Yesterday there was a funeral in the village. When the old lady died, the phu yai ban put out a message on the tannoy as usual, but advised villagers that, as people would be attending from Bangkok, they would be advised not to attend either the wake or funeral. The funeral itself was somewhat subdued with probably less than 100 people following the coffin (I watched from the safety of my garden as the cortège passed my house). However, I recognised at least half the attendees as villagers and very few (including the monks) were wearing masks. 
 

Contrast this with neighbouring Nong Bua Lamphu, where one of my bicycle rides takes me through two villages sat in a corner of the province jutting into Loei. Two days ago I pulled up at one of my regular shops for a pit stop. I presented my bottle of Oishi to the lady proprietor who handed me a straw which she held in the middle (no delving in plastic bags previously delved in by many other hands), and placed a small cardboard box on the counter for my 15฿. Sat outside with my drink, watching the world go by, I noticed that everyone (ok I did see two miscreants) was wearing face masks - even those on motorbikes and bicycles. Obviously there had been a directive, whether from the village or higher up I don’t know. But, what a contrast with my village in Loei where life seems to carry on pretty much as normal. Crisis, what crisis?

Round my way much the same as your village. Noticeably more masks now though. The monks from our Temple aren't wearing masks on their morning round yet.

[lomtalay]

The week that was in Thailand news: Missing April Fools - but then everyday seems like that in Thailand!

- every day...

[Black Angus]

Well done Rooster. Hard to write stories for these times. With regard to Roper hope he had some laws left. As I once hear the story of a Priest who was giving a dying man the last rites and said to him Now is the Time to Denounce the Devil my son. At which the dying man replied, FATHER, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO ANTAGONISE HIM.

There's a lot of people out there who should learn when to bit their tongue 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/4/2020 at 11:28 PM, rooster59 said:

There is much up to date and important news being posted in a very timely and helpful manner.

Would be great if we could read something other than threads about Covid. It's like every problem in the world just vanished.

There is a subforum just for Covid- can't all the Covid threads be posted there and some actual news be posted on the World news sub forum?

[Assurancetourix]

On 4/4/2020 at 5:28 PM, rooster59 said:

There he became a polyglot, yes he could speak five languages - Thai, English, Spanish, Mexican and Farang.

I don't know if it's rooster59 ...
It’s the first time I see that " farang " is a language