Blending in.

[racinkc1]

5 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

sorry but the only answer to that attitude is for you to go home. You really should not be here.  

Cool man. Ill book a flight right now. Thanks for your input.

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, racinkc1 said:

Cool man. Ill book a flight right now. Thanks for your input.

I think that's best. 

[chickenslegs]

2 hours ago, Pilotman said:

 ... Like most things, it takes time, but if you put in the effort, stay calm (Jai Yen Yen, a great phrase that my wife uses almost every day on me), stay open minded, leave your western head in the fridge. this can be the best place to live in the World. 

If you take that attitude with you, many counrties can be "the best place to live in the world"

[chickenslegs]

2 hours ago, faraday said:

Somtam & Lao Khao, you'll be just like the locals.

 

11 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

You're the only one who offered up some other places to check out. Why these areas?

Really?

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, chickenslegs said:

If you take that attitude with you, many counrties can be "the best place to live in the world"

what a very odd response.  ????

[racinkc1]

1 minute ago, chickenslegs said:

 

Really?

Yes...

[chickenslegs]

Just now, Pilotman said:

what a very odd response.  ????

Let me rephrase it.

If you have a good attitude (like the one you described) you can live happily almost anywhere.

[Tarteso]

4 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

It takes a while to make friends anywhere you go is my experience no matter what country IMHO. 

This is the point;

If you don’t feel confortable in CM becouse of Thais or falangs, you’ll find the same feeling in another one province. IMO

[Pilotman]

11 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

Let me rephrase it.

If you have a good attitude (like the one you described) you can live happily almost anywhere.

ah, sorry, a misunderstanding.  I agree. ????

[NCC1701A]

i am reminded of a scene in "Live and Let Die" with Roger Moore. Bond is undercover in Harlem and a black guy says "Nice disguise".  

[chickenslegs]

2 hours ago, faraday said:

Somtam & Lao Khao, you'll be just like the locals.

 

30 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

You're the only one who offered up some other places to check out. Why these areas?

 

18 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

Really?

 

16 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

Yes...

OP - Somtam and Lao Khao are not places. They are popular Thai food/drink.

I thought you were having a laugh - apparently not.

[brokenbone]

you arent going to mix in without a thing to join in,

that can be work(mates) school/hobby,

pretend to have an interest and join the club

[Ron jeremy]

41 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

What about some elephant pants? Will elephant pants help me fit in?

Elephant pants and one of those utterly ridiculous Thai tattoos.????????????

[faraday]

43 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

What about some elephant pants? Will elephant pants help me fit in?

Definitely, that and a Chang wife beater.

[faraday]

Try Whan king in China.

[pgrahmm]

I kind of ran into this when I first moved here in greeting people.....

Didn't take me long to learn that all farangs did not speak english..... Sh!t

I didn't blend in - even - with the pale faces.....

 

But, I did ok with the Thais...It took a little bit of time though, and seeing people more than once or twice.....

Thais know what to expect from other Thais.....But, we're just a parade of white faces speaking multiple languages, with the mixed bag of different foibles/attitudes/demands/ temperments - and agendas.....

The Thai's are largely conservative (except for the instant, love you long time bgs and cash register friends) so their not falling all over themselves to befriend us - or even each other, friendship wise......

Many, many Thai's are worth knowing, but it takes time.....

OP needs to adjust & measure the ebb and flow here....If he's trying to look for things meeting his standards/ways - he's going to always be 180 degrees off......

Frankly, I don't go out of my way to seek or band together with expat friends - but have made some friends, just kind of walking through life.....Thai friends too....But it's not a crusade.....

 

The expats club use to have different interest/hobby groups - maybe OP could start there....

 

[chickenslegs]

4 minutes ago, Ron jeremy said:

Elephant pants and one of those utterly ridiculous Thai tattoos.????????????

[Pilotman]

23 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

 

 

 

OP - Somtam and Lao Khao are not places. They are popular Thai food/drink.

I thought you were having a laugh - apparently not.

he really does need to leave here. 

[DavisH]

5 hours ago, YetAnother said:

the thais are a pretty shallow group; once you learn what thainess really means, at least to the level you need to, you will start avoiding thais and , likely, re-seekout the expat crowd

This just reflects the kinds of people you mix with. I guess you don't meet many educated Thais. 

btw F*** the expat crowd. 

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, Tarteso said:

This is the point;

If you don’t feel comfortable in CM because of Thais or falangs, you’ll find the same feeling in another one province. IMO

Not so IMHO, CM is the 2nd largest city a another place in my book not so good to stay, the OP has problems obviously and should make a decision.

[PFMills]

Well, my neighbor one side is a retired Uni lecturer,  very strange person, never married, speaks if I can’t hide before she sees me.

 

Family the other side, old lady always speaks, in fact called out every time she saw me, can’t now as I extended the dividing fence up to eight feet. Then there are two unmarried sisters, used to speak years ago but don’t now and a very weird brother, think he had a car accident years ago.

 

I saw him cutting the weeds on the pavement with a pair of scissors one evening a couple of weeks ago. Normally one of the village workers uses a ‘strimmer’ as weeds seem to thrive between the gaps. They used to spray weed killer but now the strimmer has taken over. I still weed killer my bit, and it's the only weed free pavement in the village????

 

Have a good Thai friend and his wife down the road, and have been away on holiday with them quite a few times.

 

There is quite an important policeman and his wife who run every night, she always says hello, I think he makes a sort of smiley nod, well I hope it’s a smiley one.

 

The rest of the village, most seem to say something in Thai when they see me. I did my stint years ago on the Village Committee, not sure if that was a plus or minus. My wife is on the committee now.

 

Whilst I was out exercising a couple of weeks ago I stopped, not too close, to two elderly ladies (about my age) that I pass every evening, one immediately wrapped a scarf around her head and wafted her fan, the other just chatted away normally. So now I just say hello as I ride past.

 

My wife belongs to a few ‘retired teacher’ and 'ex uni’ groups, everyone in the groups are so friendly and always ask where I am when I don’t go to ‘reunions’. Guess they never think why I try and dodge, a room full of ex teachers all trying to talk at once! If it’s a weekend away then I usually go and maybe we have a few days somewhere after.

 

I basically don’t have expat friends, well maybe one and I don’t drink as if I do I wish I hadn’t next day.

 

So basically don’t care if I blend in or not. Here is a better option for old age than in the UK, but every year it seems to get hotter. My wife is my friend and we share an interest or two, well I think we do.

 

I told my wife when it's my turn, just do the three day thing as few will come to see me.

 

 

[OnTheGround]

OP how old are you, and how long have you been living here?

Late 90s before internet was common, I moved here (in my 30s) only with Lonely Planet as my mentor. I was hungry for knowledge, and befriended old expats from whom I learn't the world of wisdom.

From 1st month in country, I learned thai, word by word. That has paid off ten fold since then.

 

I also learned to be critical to accept new expat friends, for many reasons. Never at 1 point did I feel not welcome or out of place. Lived in many places around the country. Yes, you will blend in easier in tourist places, but you will never know the real Thailand, if you choose Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket. Those places also have many temptations that can quickly turn into a man's poison. 

My time in isaan area was my most boring time. Only place I found it difficult to make new friends, so I left. I strongly believe that if it doesn't feel right, don't hesitate to move.

I was on holiday in another country near by, when I observed one of Pattaya's most lonely expats. He was miserable and still lonely in this new destination, so for some people, asia is just not the right place to be.

Many people bring mental luggage with them, when they move to asia. A few manage to put the past behind them, many do not. For them, asia can become hell.

 

You feel alien and not welcome. But you want to stay. Even if you every day have these thoughts?

There are many clubs in Thailand, search on FB. Actually to join a big bike club is the easiest way to make new friends and spend time with. That not a option for you, what interests do you have?

 

To better fit in, learn some thai words and phrases, stop tip big, thais often tip 0-10 baht only. To be happy here, you should try to adopt your new country culture. Observe cloth code, and adapt.

This is a difficult time for all the world. Don't expect much until the county get back on its feet. That might take 1,5-2 years. Until then, change your habits, and explore new hobbies.

 

IMO its easier to blend in, in Bangkok and Pattaya. But it doesn't guarantee that you will be happier. I live in Pattaya and it's a true ghost city currently, desperation for food and money, is everywhere. 

 

Farang pub forum was not the right forum for your thread if you want some good serious replies. In this sub forum one often joke and friendly bantering, rather than give serious suggestions. IMO.

 

[DaRoadrunner]

Don't listen to this whinging lot on here. Get yourself a decent Thai girl and enjoy the er.... culture.

[brokenbone]

44 minutes ago, OnTheGround said:

stop tip big, thais often tip 0-10 baht only.

absolutely, this will only ever attract freeloaders,

its not friends, its not respect, its a dumb buffalo

that it pays off to leach on

[daveAustin]

Possibly trying too hard? I'd avoid this American-style percentage tipping thing. It unblends you immediately as is just not in the culture there in real life (i.e away from tarty areas). Your size, dress sense, how you present yourself and default face scowls (if you wear one) can all have bearing on how well you do. But yes, now's not a great time, since we're getting the blame for the virus it seems.

[racinkc1]

3 hours ago, brokenbone said:

you arent going to mix in without a thing to join in,

that can be work(mates) school/hobby,

pretend to have an interest and join the club

I was taking language classes but everyone was kinda snobby. Then covid hit and they closed the school. 

[racinkc1]

3 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

Frankly, I don't go out of my way to seek or band together with expat friends - but have made some friends, just kind of walking through life.....Thai friends too....But it's not a crusade.....

 

 

 

Im really not trying to make friends. That doesn't mean Im not open to it. But I think its best to lay low here. The more liberal we are, the more immigration is going to eventually crack down on us. 

[racinkc1]

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Not so IMHO, CM is the 2nd largest city a another place in my book not so good to stay, the OP has problems obviously and should make a decision.

Im just exploring my options. Of course I don't belong here, as anyone who isn't Thai or a rich tourist doesn't belong here. To suggest that I go home is, idk, being kinda negative? At least suggest Cambodia?

[racinkc1]

2 hours ago, OnTheGround said:

OP how old are you, and how long have you been living here?

 

IMO its easier to blend in, in Bangkok and Pattaya. But it doesn't guarantee that you will be happier. I live in Pattaya and it's a true ghost city currently, desperation for food and money, is everywhere. 

 

 

 

Hello and thanks for your reply. Im 34 and studying. I stay busy most the time. Iv made some friends but they were just tourist and passing through. Im really not looking for friends though. Im pretty anti social. But things are kinda stressful right now, I guess in the world in general. I just stick out like a sore thumb I feel like. I can live with it but I feel really awkward right now. I figured it might be easier to blend in Bangkok or Pattaya because that is where most of the tourist go. I might give it a try at the end of summer. 

[racinkc1]

2 hours ago, DaRoadrunner said:

Don't listen to this whinging lot on here. Get yourself a decent Thai girl and enjoy the er.... culture.

OMG. I already feel awkward. But walking around with a Thai girl? Death stares you can physically feel.