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Posted
27 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

???? now come on geo.............probably. I’m sure I played a part somewhere. 
 

My ex in the UK became permanently miserable when she had the nice house, the sports car, the child. By then she forgot how to be happy and was permanently miserable. 
She was totally materialistic. 
 

 

I suspected, although she would have come to the UK, my wife would never be happy isolated from her family and friends in the UK, so I built our future in Thailand where we both can be happy, has worked well so far.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

It's funny how so many posters lie on these forums, I essentially don't believe anyone who claims a wonderful relationship with a Thai lady, they all turn to poop sooner rather than later as far as I can see.

I don't brag about it. And I've never even mentioned my wife here. But I have been married to the same Thai woman for 20 years now. Sure, we do fight sometimes (every 2-3 months?), but we've never even considered breaking up. And my wife earns more than me. She bought the house from her own money. But all my friends to say that I am an exception. Lucky me.

Edited by AndyPa
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Posted
On 7/18/2020 at 2:47 PM, BritManToo said:

When mine's naughty I deduct money from her pay packet.

Yours is probably different, independent, earns more than you, educated, wealthy family, so that probably wouldn't work for you.

My alternative suggestion is to have a little 'party holiday' without her in Saigon or Siem Reap, it may not improve the misses disposition, but you can sure forget her moods for a while.

That doesn't work at the moment either.

 

Women's personalities rarely improve with age, and often get much worse.

That's life, better to rent. 

Yes mine she gets fined , no allowance for every day no talking , it works 

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Posted

A great choice that you did ! And what about showing her who is the male and who controls ?

Sorry but these problems happen only to 1 kind of "men"...

 

 

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Posted
On 7/18/2020 at 2:43 PM, Brunolem said:

There's an old muslim saying:

 

Beat your wife three times a day...if you don't know why, she does!

 

 

This is the only smart saying from them...

 

Posted
On 7/18/2020 at 2:47 PM, Keyser Soze666 said:

Worse thing I ever did was have kids here, just tied myself up in knots now. 

 

I'm seriously unhappy, and yes know this isn't the place but it's better than nothing..

 

Yes, many understand this too late.

 

Wish you the best anyway, if you have money and are healthy, I don't see any reason why not enjoying life.

 

 

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Posted
1 hour ago, 473geo said:

In 14 years my wife got annoyed once, and me twice.

Also I like the one about the little mermaid who is willing to give up her life in the sea  to gain a human soul. I love fairytales.

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Posted
1 minute ago, salsajapan said:

 

 

 

Wish you the best anyway, if you have money and are healthy, I don't see any reason why not enjoying life.

 

 

Yep, take your point. This covid situation has effected me, can't go anywhere, I'm use to moving around freely, now just stuck in the same place all the time.

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Posted

For women, marriage is a license to criticize, be you a Supreme Court justice or military hero. Build a man cave to hide in. Pray for death. One thing I did was spend 'quality time' with the kids. One at a time, in turn. That eats up a lot of time away at a park or restaurant and the kids love it. As soon as the youngest hits 16 bolt for the door.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Logosone said:

Also I like the one about the little mermaid who is willing to give up her life in the sea  to gain a human soul. I love fairytales.

We were on holiday in Cha aam walking down a back street, looking for a particular place to eat, it was baking hot, we had the young children with us and my wife suggested we get a taxi. I said it can't be far now, bottom lip came out and she strutted off down the road. We still laugh about it now. 

I don't need to fabricate my life, there have been enough ups and downs to make it worthwhile appreciating what I have now

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Posted
23 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

She's just had a go at me now, somebody just delivered something and I answered the door as she was asleep as usual, apparently I was rude to her 'guests' as she knew the kids in tow. Silly me should have invited them in for a nosh up. Not loving her family is a favorite along with forgetting to wai the one she calls her mother (she's adopted) Then there is a permanent list of faults including you have no friends (did have before) you cannot make baby (bit of luck there then) and the good old if you don't like Thailand go back home. She used to like to go out now just wants to stay in all the time and watch Korean soaps, eating and phone, that's about it. Not really as much fun as it used to be.

Thais always right, Farangs always wrong (and skinflint). Usual <deleted> from Thai women for 99.999% of them.

Divorced after 18 years and one child with my ex. Happy life since, taking care of my child 90% of the time.

Celibacy in Thailand or short-term relationship (1 to 2 hours) is the solution.

Different cultures or interracial cannot mix together (see the global situation today in all countries) or you are playing poker with your life and taking big risks for your future children.

 

Posted
7 minutes ago, 473geo said:

We were on holiday in Cha aam walking down a back street, looking for a particular place to eat, it was baking hot, we had the young children with us and my wife suggested we get a taxi. I said it can't be far now, bottom lip came out and she strutted off down the road. We still laugh about it now. 

I don't need to fabricate my life, there have been enough ups and downs to make it worthwhile appreciating what I have now

Are you seriously telling me that in 14 years that was the only time your wife got annoyed, the only disagreement you've had? 

 

Maybe your memory is playing tricks on you?

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Posted
1 minute ago, Logosone said:

Are you seriously telling me that in 14 years that was the only time your wife got annoyed, the only disagreement you've had? 

 

Maybe your memory is playing tricks on you?

Not everybody carries the ability to get a good tune out of a piano I understand that - my memory is fine

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Posted
1 minute ago, 473geo said:

Not everybody carries the ability to get a good tune out of a piano I understand that - my memory is fine

What about the two times you got annoyed? What was that about?

Posted
1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't think most wait for "later life". Both of mine were only in their 30s. I also don't think it's anything to do with depression.

Did you beat them ?    lol

 

There are conflicting reports here from members as to whether that helps or hurts to solve the problem .

 

I am a lover,  not a beater.    but have been told my tongue is quite sharp !  oops.... i guess there's

two ways to take that as well    

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Posted
32 minutes ago, Logosone said:

Also I like the one about the little mermaid who is willing to give up her life in the sea  to gain a human soul. I love fairytales.

A heavy price to pay ... ????

image.png.9e5244b7c27fa7e006c95e6108065c58.png

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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, Logosone said:

What about the two times you got annoyed? What was that about?

First time we were putting a barbwire fence up and I was pulling the wire tight but it snagged and I snapped/shouted at my wife to free it because if the wire had slipped it could have caught her up in the recoil

Second time I suggested we buy my son a guitar, I wanted to provide a possible alternative to playing games on the phone. It was suggested he did not want a guitar. My son is very cautious about spending money, I thought my wife should be encouraging the purchase of the guitar, so I got a strop on, and got my way. But did not enjoy the experience, I prefer sensible discussion.

Edited by 473geo
Posted
10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My wife got angry about anything, but that was probably because she was unhappy, though she never discussed it or tried to fix it. Every time I asked her to talk about it she was too tired or just didn't want to talk. Had plenty of time to play a game on her phone though.

A classic example for the "talk to her"  dreamers.   In love, as in business,  there is a time to cut

your losses .     Sorry that in your case you held on too long . 

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Posted

OK i red most of comments and just see im not the only one (i already know) with woman issues.

The OP now also finds out. Yes, menopause can change the woman and Hormon Replacement Treatment could be an answer. 

You know, also men have it! Then its called andropause.

A cerebral infarction can also cause changes and you can have one without knowing.

My Mom (rip) had one, only noticed by her, as she was seeing all cars with one broken light.

 

I have seen people change as they fall on her head. Amazing was a college who went ice skating, felt with his head on the ice, went in coma, came back out, but he changed in his ways. It was another , new person. Also other colleges loosing their marriage, as they changed when falling on their head.

 

But even then when all is "normal" , you see many people divorce.

In that normal, you can have sleeping apnea. You dont know until a point. You stop breathing while sleeping and your body kicks in when it happens. It effects your mind and body in the long run.

When i found out, mouth was dry every morning at one point, went to doc. Hospital, test, had more then 40 stops in the night breathing. Now i sleep with machine. I do feel less tired, but it had already affected me for maybe long time but all goes graduatly down and up again, but then you are also getting older. So going up with machine, but getting older going down again. Probably spent 13 years to find out.

 

With women you can have issues from the past, ok not only women, but mostly they keep running around with it in their mind and can not coop with it. They really can get crazy.

Like not being able to have a kid or loosing a breast with cancer or not having or too much sex. Mayor impact on the woman and can affect them long time.

Or just a nasty (suppressed) memory pop up at a certain moment and then affect big time. Conscious or sub conscious. Secrets are also not good for a woman, they cant live and coop with that and change.

As a partner you CANT talk about issues to your woman, only a stranger can or better a gay guy.

I still dont know why my wife wanted a divorce, but seeing around me, i saw many guys divorcing, so  i put it on a disease, like 30-ties disease, as many had that age and divorced. I felt somehow "normal".   

 

I saw a docu of Nigerian way of life. The women sometimes started to be nasty and making a fight.

They did it on purpose, you get angry and hit your woman. That was a confession of the man he still loved her! I was flabbergasted, but it came out of their own mouth in interviews.

If you didnt hit, then you didnt care for her??!!

Could it be women need that from ancient way of our lives? Making fights and you need to stop that anyhow? We are too soft nowadays, as the women wanted it that way?

Relations can be difficult and you can always be flabbergasted at one point in what is happening.

And the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind  

Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

There seems a lot of bitter men posting on here who have/had a miserable life

with their chosen one,and they all blame the woman...never their fault,in a

relationship it takes two to work at it,and it can be a lot of work,but a lot

better than been alone.

 

It's the future you should be looking to, who's going to wipe your @rse when

you cannot,clean the dribble from you chin.....a hooker,doubt it,maybe ,but could

work out expensive.I have been with my partner/wife for 33 years now and i don't

regret a thing,I would marry her but i am still married to my first wife in UK,and

never bothered to get divorce,we are still friends.maybe because i never see her !

 

regards worgeordie

 

 

You are right on the first part of your post

to succeed or to fail in a relashionship it often (But not all the time)

it needs to be two, and the wrong are often shared.

 

I disagree with your second part.

How can you be sure that your partner will be here doing what you think is the right thing  when it will be needed, particularly when you become aged and dependant?

 

Unfortunately a lot of examples where the wife\gf just left, leaving the poor

old soul with his pant full  of s.,,t to clean, or she becomes abusive in everyway.

 

And to marry someone thinking already she should do a good home help for yours

old days doesn't sound very rewarding for her, i mean are you just trying to save

the money and avoid to hire someone to do the dirty job when the time is coming?

Have you shared with ''life project'' point of view with her already? She agrees with it?

Or you prefer to keep the surprise untill the last moment?

Edited by kingofthemountain
Posted
4 hours ago, AlfHuy said:

My GF, close to 40 is having the same issues.

Constantly talking about her friends have farang who give a lot of money.

They live all abroad and have a brilliant life.

I told her, come on, give them a call NOW. A video call and not this <deleted>, showing off on messenger and line.

Make a video call. I want to see this villa with pool, ask the to show their bank book.

EVIDENCE and not just stupid talking.

Guess what. There is never a video call. The girls are just busy or internet problems. There is no villa. They probably live in a 40m2 apartment with an old VW Golf from 2001 in front of the door.

I told her: your friends all went with old men. They moved abroad. Now, most of them live in a small apartment and the very good farang doesn't give anymore any money. 

Would your friends talk about this? NOOOO

That's about losing face. All their friends and family would have a lough. The ladies went to richmen farang land to live the life of a princess and sent millions to the 'entitled' family.

Reality is different. They live a very modest life and very often are very unhappy but won't talk about. If talking about, they would loose face as it was them who went abroad.

 

I told my GF. You know what? Do not waste anymore time. Go out and find this sponsor who gives you a minimum of 50k Baht a month in pocket money. Go, go now. They are queuing in front of our condo to take over.

You think she left? No, even when I offered to pack her luggage. No sign of her moving out.

 

They test us over and over again.

Show them who brings the bread home. If they think they are in charge, send them to get a job. Happy, if they make 12k a month. This brings them back to reality.

 

Talking to a Thai is almost impossible. They have mostly not the intelligence for a productive talk. Problem solving is not known by thais. They have the capacity to focus a maximum of let's say, 15 minutes, then game over. They look away, look at their phone, walk away or start to talk about something totally different or start to blame you for whatever is passing their minds.

 

My GF now knows, never more to ask for more money. Starting to talk about her rich friends with farang boyfriends or husbands, I start to prepare her luggage and call a taxi.

 

They test and test us over and over again.

Do not give to much importance and if they want to punish by not coming to your bedroom, easy. I lock my bedroom door and tell her, that other mother's have also good looking daughters.

 

Amen

I had one of those once (my first when i was young and stupid).. after that i made a better selection and I never had the problem again. Never paid a salary again. Many of them are not like that but it really depends where you look and get your girls. Also how much of an age difference. The more age difference the more likely they are with you for money. 

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, kenk24 said:

my wife was never like that before, but it started a bit just as you describe when menopause arrived...

Maybe a good clause to include in a pre-nup ?    when menopause arrives,  i leave 

 

You know,  i talk tough, but i do have sympathy for people with "issues".   Then I discover that they

 almost never accept any responsibility for what is happening,  and if anything just want to make

a bigger war out of you wanting to offer "solutions"

So good luck to all you "be understanding types" ..... walking sheepishly behind the mrs.

 

as Dylan said so well......... "it ain't me babe" 

 

note: gosh darn if i am just outa words on this subject.   good luck OP,  and others

in similar shoes

Edited by rumak
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Posted
Just now, robblok said:

I had one of those once (my first when i was young and stupid).. after that i made a better selection and I never had the problem again. Never paid a salary again. Many of them are not like that but it really depends where you look and get your girls. Also how much of an age difference. The more age difference the more likely they are with you for money. 

But your relationships didn't last long.

What's the longest, 5 years?

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