Living Here Gets Better for Some and Worse for Others - Why

[LomSak27]

 

Likely it’s just his personality. He has probably been like that since he was 5 years old.

A person I grew up with talented, skilled, he can always get a well-paying job. Now, he hates where we grew up.  I can’t say he is wrong, but I also remember some positive things, good times, uh, er. While I worked OS, & US, he has gone from city to city trying to find something he likes. Maybe it’s better in the sun, so he lived in Arizona, then Miami. Or the big cities, worked in Chicago and Boston. Now he is in Philadelphia. He hates it, like all the other places before. I can’t say he is wrong but you just know, there is nowhere this guy would be happy. Yes, even in a paradise like Phuket, Hah.
 

How does that line go … A man can’t escape his nature.

 

 

 

Edited August 7, 2020 by LomSak27

[EVENKEEL]

47 minutes ago, jastheace said:

yes. and ' heineken and LM red' do not count as hobbies. i think that's why a couple i know became disillusioned with their 'dream' life. you need a plan that revolves around your environment and expected term of residence. many seem to forget that. as did my friends..... they told their friends on the 'phone back home how great it was here, how hot it was, how long they'd had their feet up, and how much beer they'd been 'enjoying'. as soon as the call was ended, moan moan moan about the life they have here, how they have few friends here, how they hate where they lived, the soi dogs, the noisy neighbours, the exchange rate.... you name it...... but just about everything that could be complained about..... was complained about... sad thing is/was, they lived out their miserable existence through years of ill health. 

this was not the dream they liked to boast about, i guess it may have been 'uppance' and even 'saving face' to the long standing friends they had back in their home country.

no, they had no hobbies, no interests (except 60 smokes and 2 cases of beer a day) not interested in communicating to the locals. angry if 2 thai people spoke thai to each other in their presence.....

"YOU SPEAK ENGLISH OK!!!! ONLY ENGLISH HERE"

maybe paranoia was kicking in..... i heard nothing bad

why do some people retire here just for the miserable waiting for god experience?

 

(except 60 smokes and 2 cases of beer a day)

 

Me thinks you exaggerate a bit  

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, 2 is 1 said:

In your age i hope you learn lesson! Pull off, or buy pills to woman lol. I have only one kid and it's enough. Alimony in Finland is crazy sht!

I wouldn't mind a couple more.

In Thailand you can make as many as you like, and the government doesn't charge you for having them.

It's no wonder the Finnish people are dying out and getting replaced by Somali/Syrian refugees.

Pretty soon Lars and Ulric will be names of the past, and modern Fins will be called Abdul and Malik.

Edited August 7, 2020 by BritManToo

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, opalred said:

i look back /the first few years i was like a australian wombat eats roots and leaves/then found a perfert women here 10 yrs marrieed now and will die here /dont want to go back to oz even have children and grand children there/ i would be stressed 

I hope you keep this perspective even if, for whatever reason, your perfect woman will not stay with you forever.

I read too many post on TVF from people who separated i.e. after 15 or 20 years. And then suddenly they see the last 15 or 20 years as wasted time and now she shows her true character and sentences like that.

 

We change, women change, kids change, the world changes. We better accept that before sometime later we blame others because they changed.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Talking to a friend today, as each year goes by he gets more down, depressing at being here in Thailand.  and critical of all things Thai and Thailand.  He is married to a lovely caring lady who looks after him. He is not rich, but has no real money worries, lives in a nice enough house, in a nice area, but boy, he is very dissatisfied with his life. 

He needs a good boot up the bum. He has an ideal life but is too ( insert word of choice ) to appreciate it.

If he is so dissatisfied with his life I'll swap and he can have my <deleted> life instead, but no returns.

 

As for the OP. life always changes. Some changes are good and others bad. Whenever I had a great life, some b'tard always stuffed it up. When I was married I had a great life, but she couldn't see that she had a great deal and destroyed it.

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, luckyluke said:

So in fact what you are saying, is that everything is very relative. 

And that there is no "Thailand/Good" or "Thailand/Bad". 

Yes, or to tell it with a picture. For some people this is heaven and for others it's hell. ????

 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, LomSak27 said:

 

Likely it’s just his personality. He has probably been like that since he was 5 years old.

A person I grew up with talented, skilled, he can always get a well-paying job. Now, he hates where we grew up.  I can’t say he is wrong, but I also remember some positive things, good times, uh, er. While I worked OS, & US, he has gone from city to city trying to find something he likes. Maybe it’s better in the sun, so he lived in Arizona, then Miami. Or the big cities, worked in Chicago and Boston. Now he is in Philadelphia. He hates it, like all the other places before. I can’t say he is wrong but you just know, there is nowhere this guy would be happy. Yes, even in a paradise like Phuket, Hah.
 

How does that line go … A man can’t escape his nature.

 

 

 

We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves, if only we really want to. It's usually easier to be miserable and blame everyone else.

[Pilotman]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

He needs a good boot up the bum. He has an ideal life but is too ( insert word of choice ) to appreciate it.

If he is so dissatisfied with his life I'll swap and he can have my <deleted> life instead, but no returns.

 

As for the OP. life always changes. Some changes are good and others bad. Whenever I had a great life, some b'tard always stuffed it up. When I was married I had a great life, but she couldn't see that she had a great deal and destroyed it.

Yes he does, maybe.  In many ways we, his friends, all pussy foot around him as we listen to him becoming more grumpy with his life. We want to help, but in the end, its in his hands. We can only show how we live our lives and hope that helps to show that it can be a good life here, but that just seems to make things worse for him.  We do worry about where this is  leading for him and his wife. 

Edited August 8, 2020 by Pilotman

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Yes, or to tell it with a picture. For some people this is heaven and for others it's hell. ????

 

It's only heaven for those with 10,000 baht to throw away. Being in there and only looking would be hell, IMO.

 

At least they ain't wearing those horrid boots the girls used to wear. That was a bad time for me and it lasted years.

[1FinickyOne]

Not everyone finds joys in different cultures and it is a different culture here... 

 

Money, though you said he has enuf - maybe not as much as he wants? Or more would make him happier?

 

And, there are some % of my friends who are not happy anywhere... they have problems here, go back home and have problems... and just have a bad outlook on life... and that is probably most of it... 

 

Perspective: - Friend of a friend - but yes, a real person... had a very successful biz, probably lived quite high... sold his biz for $70MM USA... after 6 months of retirement was bored out of his mind and bought a biz for $60MM... lost it all in 6 months... down to his last $10MM - he killed himself.. 

 

ps - as I age each year I get a bit more depressed too... 

 

 

 

Edited August 8, 2020 by kenk24

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

Yes he does, maybe.  In many ways we, his friends, all pussy foot around him as we listen to him becoming more grumpy with his life. We want to help, but in the end, its in his hands. We can only show how we live our lives and hope that helps to show that it can be a good life here, but that just seems to make things worse for him.  We do worry about where this is  leading for him and his wife. 

Take him to Klong Toey and show him what an actual bad life looks like. Only during daylight, but if you wanted to end his misery, at night and pin a few 1,000 baht notes to his back.

Sometimes people need to see the alternative to wise up.

Alternatively suggest he sees a good psychologist.

 

If he keeps it up I can't see him having friends much longer.

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Lastly, for those that have lived in Thailand for years, you cannot possibly say, in a right mind, that Thailand is heading in the right direction. Military gov't, air pollution, tanking economy, baht rate, food and everyday expenses increasing each year. 

Really?

I like Prayut and his government a lot more than Thaksin and his little sister.

Air pollution was worse 20 years ago.

Everything is more expensive than in the past. Correct, like in any other country.

 

But lets not forget the reality that I can still buy a super-size bowl of beef noodle soup for 50THB in the middle of Bangkok. It tastes good and I am full for half a day. In which so called first world country would I get something like that for a similar price in the center of the capital city?

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Not everyone finds joys in different cultures and it is a different culture here... 

 

Money, though you said he has enuf - maybe not as much as he wants? Or more would make him happier?

 

And, there are some % of my friends who are not happy anywhere... they have problems here, go back home and have problems... and just have a bad outlook on life... and that is probably most of it... 

 

Perspective: - Friend of a friend - but yes, a real person... had a very successful biz, probably lived quite high... sold his biz for $70MM USA... after 6 months of retirement was bored out of his mind and bought a biz for $60MM... lost it all in 6 months... down to his last $10MM - he killed himself.. 

 

 

 

Anyone can be happy anywhere, if they choose to be. Anyone can be miserable anywhere, if they choose to be. It's a choice.

A pauper can be happier than a millionaire, though obviously money makes it easier to be happy.

 

6 months of retirement was bored out of his mind and bought a biz for $60MM... lost it all in 6 months... down to his last $10MM - he killed himself.

He must have had more to it than just having less. Robin Williams had it all and killed himself. Depression is ruthless and often overlooked.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 hours ago, luckyluke said:

Usually staying long time in Thailand consist in different periods :

 

The beginning, or the honeymoon period, everything is nice, beautiful, better... 

 

The awakening or the reality period, everything isn't so nice, beautiful, better... 

 

Finally, the acceptance for some, constantly whining for others. 

 

Among the ones who accept the situation, and ready to abide for a lot of things, there are some who claim, honestly or not, that Thailand is the best thing in their life. 

 

After 20 years here, with no intention to leave (my Thai wife for 20 years, like to travel - we did in Europe and in the neighbourhood countries of Thailand-but in no way she  want to live anywhere permanently other than in Thailand) and being 72, I accept and abide, and make the best possible of it here. 

So where is it so much better than Thailand?

[1FinickyOne]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Anyone can be happy anywhere, if they choose to be. Anyone can be miserable anywhere, if they choose to be. It's a choice.

A pauper can be happier than a millionaire, though obviously money makes it easier to be happy.

 

6 months of retirement was bored out of his mind and bought a biz for $60MM... lost it all in 6 months... down to his last $10MM - he killed himself.

He must have had more to it than just having less. Robin Williams had it all and killed himself. Depression is ruthless and often overlooked.

The story was told to me as money was the motive... 

[BritManToo]

13 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

6 months of retirement was bored out of his mind and bought a biz for $60MM... lost it all in 6 months... down to his last $10MM - he killed himself.

He must have had more to it than just having less. Robin Williams had it all and killed himself. Depression is ruthless and often overlooked.

Actually Robin Williams was almost identical.

Started with $40M, two divorces later down to $10M ....... facing his 3rd divorce and killed himself.

He should have just moved to Thailand, that remaining $5M would have gone a long way.

 

Does anyone seriously think he would still be dead if women hadn't kept f$#@ing him over and grabbing half his assets?

Edited August 8, 2020 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Really?

I like Prayut and his government a lot more than Thaksin and his little sister.

Air pollution was worse 20 years ago.

Everything is more expensive than in the past. Correct, like in any other country.

 

But lets not forget the reality that I can still buy a super-size bowl of beef noodle soup for 50THB in the middle of Bangkok. It tastes good and I am full for half a day. In which so called first world country would I get something like that for a similar price in the center of the capital city?

I don't often see anyone that thinks Thaksin is the evil troll that he ( IMO ) is, on here.

He was, IMO, the worst thing ever to befall Thailand since Ayutthaya was sacked.

I can only assume that those that think he was great don't understand the harm he did.

 

Before I left a few years ago I could buy a fried rice chicken in a restaurant in Chiang Mai for 35 baht. The first one I bought in Bkk many decades ago was 25 baht. Cost of a Pattaya baht bus is 10 baht for 30 years. A room in Lamphun is 2,000 baht a MONTH.

[thaibeachlovers]

9 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

So where is it so much better than Thailand?

I thought Antarctica was the perfect place, but a bit difficult to retire there. Can't beat the sight of the Trans Antarctic mountains at midnight in summer ( still daylight ). The outside bog at Cape Royds ( Shackleton had his hut there ) had the best view of any I've seen anywhere I've been in the world.

[BritManToo]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I thought Antarctica was the perfect place, but a bit difficult to retire there. Can't beat the sight of the Trans Antarctic mountains at midnight in summer ( still daylight ). The outside bog at Cape Royds ( Shackleton had his hut there ) had the best view of any I've seen anywhere I've been in the world.

How easy is it to score a spinner for the night? (not all 6 months obviously)

[fittobethaied]

I think it has a lot to do with comparing Thailand with our home countries and how life was there before we moved here. Some people were absolutely miserable in their home country and by comparison Thailand is like heaven to them. In my case I came from a town in Tennessee, USA where everyone is very friendly and hospitable. I climbed the social ladder and made a success of myself, had a good reputation and several friends who were mostly fellow members of a church of 5000. We were all like-minded and I knew what to expect from them in the way of their behavior towards me.

 

After 10 years of living in Thailand, I live a very isolated life with little to no intimate contact with the locals. I have tried unsuccessfully to learn the language, and have zero Thai friends and really don't want any at this point in my life. I don't think we Westerners can ever understand what goes on in the Thai mind, and that totally frustrates me. I no longer desire to make the effort to figure them out, for my experience with the majority of them has been less than gratifying. Making friends should not be this difficult, but I still have neighbors that hide from me when they see me coming. I think it is sad that Thais see everyone outside their circle of relatives and associates as being "invisible" to them. Back in Tennessee I could walk down the street and be greeted by a total stranger who would treat me like a long lost friend. In Thailand nobody cares about our past or what position of prominence we may have obtained in our life, yet it is such a big deal for them in the Thai culture with their "pecking order". I never truly understood or experienced prejudice until I came to Thailand.

The physical nation of Thailand is very acceptable to me, but a nation consists of citizens, and it's the people and their behavior that I have a huge problem with. Ones social foundation is one of the cornerstones of building a fulfilling life, and when that foundation is weak there will be discontentment, depression and anxiety. My dear mom used to tell me when I was a young boy..."you've made your bed, now you have to sleep in it"! Now I understand how prisoners can adapt to living on death row. If I can adapt to living in Thailand, I can adapt to any situation!

[OneMoreFarang]

20 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's only heaven for those with 10,000 baht to throw away. Being in there and only looking would be hell, IMO.

 

At least they ain't wearing those horrid boots the girls used to wear. That was a bad time for me and it lasted years.

500B will buy you maybe 30 minutes of smiling company. And if you are a reasonable guy even with little money the girls won't give you a bad time.

 

And about the boots. That reminds me of Private Dancer:

PETE: I don't know if it was love at first sight, but it was pretty damn close. She had the longest hair I'd ever seen, jet black and almost down to her waist. She smiled all the time and had soft brown eyes that made my heart melt, long legs that just wouldn't quit and a figure to die for. She was stark naked except for a pair of black leather ankle boots with small chrome chains on the side. I think it was the boots that did it for me.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Actually Robin Williams was almost identical.

Started with $40M, two divorces later down to $10M ....... facing his 3rd divorce and killed himself.

He should have just moved to Thailand, that remaining $5M would have gone a long way.

I think it's the divorces that cause it. It makes one feel worthless and having nothing to live for. When one is brought up to believe that a man's primary reason for existence is to marry, have kids and support his family, having it taken away once is bad enough, but twice is a calamity that strikes at the very soul. Facing a third time would be catastrophic.

 

He was so funny the BGs would have given it to him for free. His loss is a tragedy that is greater than we realise, IMO. I never really watched Mork and Mindy except to lust after Pam Dawber, but Good Morning Vietnam was an absolute comedy classic. I'm sad just writing this that he is lost to us.

[BritManToo]

29 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's only heaven for those with 10,000 baht to throw away. Being in there and only looking would be hell, IMO.

My part-time friend looks better than the best of them and charges a fraction of what you suggested for 2hrs.

I'm not sure that she'd ask for more if I wanted longer, it's just I'm practically dead by then.

[OneMoreFarang]

19 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

The story was told to me as money was the motive... 

That's what I will never understand. Why are some people just keen to be rich and richer?

I understand that it's fun to spend money and enjoy life.

But what's the point of having millions in the bank and not spend any of it? And maybe work to have more millions in the bank. Strange, at least for me.

[CorpusChristie]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I wouldn't mind a couple more.

.

If the woman whom you had sex with yesterday afternoon gets pregnant , the child, when grown up, can look back at this thread and see the sticky stains on the bedsheets and he would realise that thats where he would have ended up, had he not been a fast swimmer 

[Silent Number]

33 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Really?

I like Prayut and his government a lot more than Thaksin and his little sister.

Air pollution was worse 20 years ago.

Everything is more expensive than in the past. Correct, like in any other country.

 

But lets not forget the reality that I can still buy a super-size bowl of beef noodle soup for 50THB in the middle of Bangkok. It tastes good and I am full for half a day. In which so called first world country would I get something like that for a similar price in the center of the capital city?

Nigeria

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

How easy is it to score a spinner for the night? (not all 6 months obviously)

That was one reason why Antarctica was so brilliant for me- there were no women over winter, so life was good. Apparently lots now, but not enough for everyone though, so do you feel lucky?

 

Actually we had a few on base for summer, but when they left it got better. Few women and a 100 guys- oh how they loved that. The queens of all they surveyed.

[OneMoreFarang]

15 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

In my case I came from a town in Tennessee, USA

When I look at news from that part of the world I also don't understand the people over there.

I really tried, but I don't understand them.

 

I don't pretend it's always easy to understand Thai people. But I think it's a lot easier here than understanding those 60 million voters in the USA...

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My part-time friend looks better than the best of them and charges a fraction of what you suggested for 2hrs.

I'm not sure that she'd ask for more if I wanted longer, it's just I'm practically dead by then.

Are you assuming I'm talking about only one? I understand bar fines are higher now than when I was gogoing, and the required lady drinks ain't cheap either. One never gets it right the first choice, so one has to interview a few.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

When I look at news from that part of the world I also don't understand the people over there.

I really tried, but I don't understand them.

 

I don't pretend it's always easy to understand Thai people. But I think it's a lot easier here than understanding those 60 million voters in the USA...

I understand the people of the US coasts, which is why I'd never want to live anywhere they are.