Cats on Cars, how to keep 'em off?

[Formaleins]

Firstly, I love my car much more than any of my wife's cats, in fact I actually hate most of her cats as they are filthy disgusting wildlife murdering little <deleted>s. So as you can tell, I am not someone who supports the "rights" of animals over people, however, I am not a sadist, so, here goes.

 

Every time I wash and clean my car (which I love much more than any cat) within 12 hours, these feral monsters have climbed all over the bonnet and windscreen with their filthy paws and have shed their lice ridden hair all over the front of the car.

 

I have seen the responses on the internet from the usual left wing tree hugging brigade about "sprinklers" and "provide a box for them to sit in" and all that garbage. I don't particularly want my car constantly sprinkled with Thai government water as it seems to eat into the paint and glass over time like etching fluid. Nor do they need any more boxes to sit in. What they need is something to stop them even attempting to want to sit on my car.

 

Water around the car certainly works but is impractical as it evaporates and needs replenishing.

 

So has anyone found a practical solution that can keep them off the car? (No I am not buying a car cover to scrape on and off everyday).

 

There are a few other solutions I have in mind but probably not that environmentally friendly, the local gardening supply shop sells Paraquat, I might start polishing the car with that. Lots of chemical solutions but I am not sure what it will do to the paintwork....anyone cleaned their car with Paraquat?

 

Tonight I am trying a liberal (no pun intended) sprinkling of Prik Porn around the perimeter, reinforced by a healthy sprinkling of my own home grown  100% organic natural cold pressed extra virgin lime juice, (If this works it will be fine as I have gallons of the stuff) But if anyone knows of another 100% solution, please let me know. (Not interested in the other "Animal Friendly garbage" like "put a plastic snake on it" Our cats eat snakes!

 

The water bottle rubbish that the Thais use (to deter dogs from pissing is not an option here as it will only attract the Lao Kao alcoholics to rehydrate themselves as they crawl along the lane to find their bed) I have enough "Insects" without attracting more!

Edited September 15, 2020 by Formaleins

[Dumbastheycome]

Finely  ground  pepper or  chillie powder . Have used  it, it  does work.

[sungod]

I'd keep a pitbull in a basket next to the car.

[Boomer6969]

Cats are persons. Dogs are just dogs.

 

OP should get some professional help, I reckon.

[Formaleins]

10 minutes ago, sungod said:

I'd keep a pitbull in a basket next to the car.

More <deleted> mouths to feed!

[Andrew Dwyer]

11 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Finely  ground  pepper or  chillie powder . Have used  it, it  does work.

Yep, my dear old mum used to sprinkle pepper on her roses to keep the cats and dogs away ( she loved animals as much as the op does ).

 

We have a lot of stray cats around who use my flower bed as a toilet !! 
Gf bought a bag of lime from Homepro ( 19 baht for a 1/2 kilo ( I think) bag ), keeps the cats away, wouldn’t recommend putting it on the car but sprinkle it around it and they might get out of the habit of using your car as a bed !

[Orton Rd]

15 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Finely  ground  pepper or  chillie powder . Have used  it, it  does work.

Yeah you have to catch 'em to rub it in their eyes though. Daiso the Japanese shop sells tablets for 60 baht has a smell cats hate, seems to work a bit.

[Sheryl]

A flaming post dragg8ng in off topic politics removed.

 

OP I have same problem (though a less fancy car and I do like cats -- but still, don't want them leaving paw prints all over the car)

 

I have found no solution other than a  car cover. They still go up on it but that way no paw prints.

 

I am un clear from those suggesting chili etc where exactly one would put it. Don't want chili powder on the car anymore than cat paw prints, in fact less....

[Formaleins]

I'd just shoot the buggers, but by the time of night that they climb up there and after a few beers I would probably shoot the paintwork rather than the offending cat.

 

I am not vindictive, they probably do not understand revenge or retribution so killing them the day after is pretty much pointless and will not teach their friends anything.

 

Yes, in the long term it will "FIX" the problem, but I would expect that  after 6 or 7 cats disappear mysteriously, my wife, or someone might finger me as a suspect. And here in the La La Land Of Lunacy and Morons, I would probably end up with more jail time for shooting a cat than for raping and murdering foreign tourists on an island run by tw@ts!

 

I could always put a few sheets of the Thai Flypaper on the bonnet, just for laughs! If you have ever seen one of these fleabag cats with a sheet of that stuff stuck on their <deleted> it is hilarious! But knowing my luck it would end up stuck to the damn paint!

Edited September 15, 2020 by Formaleins

[kingdong]

make an electric fence,you can make quite simply from a car coil,a car flasher unit,and a car battery.

[Formaleins]

2 minutes ago, kingdong said:

make an electric fence,you can make quite simply from a car coil,a car flasher unit,and a car battery.

I love your thinking! It is getting enough coverage to stop them avoiding the trap... I need something that electrocutes them when they get within a metre of the car. I still reckon a nerve poison like Paraquat is the answer, it will save on the car cleaning and the bills for feeding them too.

Edited September 15, 2020 by Formaleins

[DaftToPutRealName]

If your cats are dirty, lousy and/or covered in fleas, then it seems like the simplest solution is that you should all hop into a bath together. Make sure to really get that shampoo in, and then you can all take turns with the lice comb.

[Dumbastheycome]

3 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

A flaming post dreagg8ing in off topic politics removed.

 

OP I have same problem (though a less fancy car and I do like cats -- but still, don't want them leaving paw prints all over the car)

 

I have found no solution other than a  car cover. They still go up on it but that way no paw prints.

 

I am un clear from those suggesting chili etc where exactly one would put it. Don't want chili powder on the car anymore than cat paw prints, in fact less....

In my case it was an issue  with  tom cats  spraying into the air  vents A Vet  explained that cats will  "mark"  territory on the  highest upright  place which happens to be the front windscreen usually. Same as dogs  marking the  wheels .

A reasonably liberal sprinkling of  pepper  powder on the  bonnet over several causes enough discomfort  to them  to  ignore the territory.

[Formaleins]

3 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

In my case it was an issue  with  tom cats  spraying into the air  vents A Vet  explained that cats will  "mark"  territory on the  highest upright  place which happens to be the front windscreen usually. Same as dogs  marking the  wheels .

A reasonably liberal sprinkling of  pepper  powder on the  bonnet over several causes enough discomfort  to them  to  ignore the territory.

Understand that one, but it gets even worse when they start fighting. They start spraying liquid <deleted> at each other during their fight or flight and it lands on everything. Personally I am not a fan of having liquidized cat <deleted> all over my car or motorbike seats...Tends to put the ladies off if you are out for the night and your car or bike stinks of cat <deleted>.

 

The <deleted> spraying is terrible too, but not as an offensive smell as the liquid <deleted>!

[Dumbastheycome]

4 minutes ago, kingdong said:

make an electric fence,you can make quite simply from a car coil,a car flasher unit,and a car battery.

An electric "fence" is very effective  for dogs which  pee on wheels. BUt  cats  tend to leap onto a  vehicle  without  touching  it from the ground...hence  no effect from electric  impulse.

Unless you were to  lay  two  separated polarity mats  on the bonnet ?

[Andrew Dwyer]

I couldn’t understand why the cats would come into my garden to khrap !!

Until I saw my next door neighbour putting the food and water bowl on my half of the dividing wall !!

I was in the house and through the window saw her hand sliding under the makeshift wall of her outside kitchen and pushing it so the cats could only access it from my garden.

It was comical to see it happening ????, I waited a few minutes then went and grabbed both bowls and chucked them over the wall into an empty lot .

 

A few hours later she appeared and engaged the gf in some conversation, the gf asked me if I had seen her “ dogs “ ( ???? ) bowl, of course I denied it and never got accused , but they knew for sure it was me ????

 

I guess the reason was as she has a small dog she had to put the food for the cats outside , hence the cats don’t khrap in her garden also ????

 

Anyhoo, the cats became accustomed to using my garden as a toilet, but the lime cured that ????

[bodga]

foot  on cat end of  problem

[Sametboy2019]

When the love of a object/possession overcomes a living being explains why the World is in the state it is!

[Formaleins]

One minute they are eating them next they are pampering them, same mentality as the Chinese, one minute they are in a stir fry next they cost 10K Baht! Absolute madness. Curried cat to pampered friend, only the HiSo Yellow shirt idiots could allow this.

 

In the past few years they have taken care of the filthy minge ridden cats and rabid filthy dogs more than their own people. 

[Sametboy2019]

Sounds like the kind of dude who rubs one out with the cloth he just finished waxing his car with

[FolkGuitar]

There is a very common, locally grown plant that produces a smell that cats can't stand, yet is pleasant for people. We used to use it in our gardens and it keeps all the cats from using the garden as their litter box. My mother used to use this plant (she made little cloth sachets and filled them with the flowers) to keep the cats off the furniture.  Very effective remedy.

 

That said, I'm not going to tell you the name of this plant.

Your way of dealing with people isn't much better than your way of treating animals.

 

[jvs]

What are you going to do after you kill one of those cats?

Did you ever think of that?You beast!

Here are some ideas

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk028taq-khRLf0cySwqHpBwvhgapmQ:1600183235256&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=101+uses+for+dead+cats&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiS8r-Ku-vrAhU3xzgGHaT2B2sQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1360&bih=663

[Outbackoz]

Perhaps you may give some thought to using an ultrasonic device either triggered by thermal change or movement. Probably something above the range of the human ear but still in range of the cats I think from memory the upper threshold  for humans is around 20kHz whilst for the pesky Felis catus is circa 80kHz. probably need around 75-100 decibels. May not completely stop them but would reduce their incursions!    

[steven100]

Moth Balls ....  

The scent given out by mothballs aren’t gentle, the cat will learn to never come across your car again. All you have to do is spread these balls all over the car, but be aware that the smell may be a little uncomfortable.

[steven100]

5 minutes ago, Outbackoz said:

Perhaps you may give some thought to using an ultrasonic device either triggered by thermal change or movement. Probably something above the range of the human ear but still in range of the cats I think from memory the upper threshold  for humans is around 20kHz whilst for the pesky Felis catus is circa 80kHz. probably need around 75-100 decibels. May not completely stop them but would reduce their incursions!    

[Bruce Aussie Chiang Mai]

Wait till they pee down vents. Options then new car or cut your nose off 

[SePl]

Some people have so big problems in this life...

and they don't even think themselves as ridiculous ?!

 

 

[commie]

On 9/15/2020 at 10:26 PM, Outbackoz said:

Perhaps you may give some thought to using an ultrasonic device either triggered by thermal change or movement. Probably something above the range of the human ear but still in range of the cats I think from memory the upper threshold  for humans is around 20kHz whilst for the pesky Felis catus is circa 80kHz. probably need around 75-100 decibels. May not completely stop them but would reduce their incursions!    

These don't work at all. I have the same problem as the OP and I bought a couple of different ultrasonic devices to try. Few days later I came back home to find 2 cats <deleted> right next to it, with number of kittens playing around. Everything outside the house smells of cat <deleted> now. I generally like animals but I'm very close now to start killing these little bastards.

[Andrew Dwyer]

16 hours ago, commie said:

These don't work at all. I have the same problem as the OP and I bought a couple of different ultrasonic devices to try. Few days later I came back home to find 2 cats <deleted> right next to it, with number of kittens playing around. Everything outside the house smells of cat <deleted> now. I generally like animals but I'm very close now to start killing these little bastards.

Have you tried cucumbers ??

 

 

[Lacessit]

Put a few mousetraps on the car. They will pretty quickly learn to stay off it.