I feel quite stressed living the dream in Thailand with wife and child

[Jack Hna]

2 hours ago, madmen said:

50. 60 and even older pushing prams, what the hell were you thinking? Half of you will be dead before the kid finishes school. 

 

These are your golden years in a country where all your fantasies can come true. ????

You had to wait until your golden years for your fantasies to come true or did your fantasies involve an old man?

[Jack Hna]

6 hours ago, IAMHERE said:

Maybe you can join the local wat and go there a bit to just relax and meditate. Going to the wat would be seen as a good thing. 

Here nearly 7 years took a few photos of temples but never stepped into one. Do people just go there and relax like you say? 

 

 

[4MyEgo]

15 hours ago, teacherclaire said:

Maybe staying at a resort on Ko Lanta, having breakfast right at the beach will help him. 

 

    I was there with my partner which was a mistake. I should have taken time for myself to see all from a different viewpoint, I do understand how easy it is to get into such a situation.

 

    Swimming, having some good conversations ( not on a barstool) and enjoying life might be what he needs.

 

   

Ko Lanta is a great place but a little hard to get too for some, still remember it from 2005 ad am sure it has change a lot since then, one barge now as opposed to two so I have read.

 

As for the partner thing, if you are suited to each other and she is not demanding, e.g. easy going it would be perfect, suffice to say I love going everywhere with my partner, however with 4 kids it's also demanding, so when it gets too much, it has to be time out for me...lol

 

The bar stool does it for me as most of the expats are from my home country so we click and take the pi$$ as good as we give it, along with a couple of games of pool and when those you are playing against are as good as it gets, you appreciate strutting your stuff as opposed to just sitting down and polishing off beer after beer after beer, I have my limitations, so a couple of hours there makes me want to hit the sack as soon as I get back home.

[FritsSikkink]

17 hours ago, Jack Hna said:

Education versus life experience. And you choose education. Explains a lot. 

 

In the real world education is the lowest form of qualification. It simply provides a seat at the table. How you conduct yourself whilst at the table is drawn from experience.

You need both.

[Morakot]

On 10/6/2020 at 5:02 PM, donnacha said:

You need a den.

A man cave?

[twizzler3b]

On 10/6/2020 at 11:54 PM, Seik said:

Hang on - If you enjoy being alone, which is perfectly understandable, what are you doing around your wife all day if you're not working the business with her and your kid is at school? Why not drop the kids at school in the morning, cook the meals for the day, then just <deleted> off somewhere for the afternoon whenever you feel like it? Maybe then you'd enjoy your kid's and your wife's company in the evening.

As men, our freedom is an integral part of us in a way that just does not apply to women, they are also far more social than us. Don't let your whole life revolve around your family.

Agreed.  I feel the same way.  Maybe join a nearby coworking space, work from a favorite cafe, or rent a small office space.  I think it's natural for the man to "go out hunting" (now it's going to the office/work in the modern world) in the daytime and then join the family in the evening ????  Space to concentrate and get some time alone is something I need too.

[khunkarl]

On 10/6/2020 at 5:04 PM, bbabythai said:

Im middle aged and have a 7 yr old and a younger thai wife. We have a successful business which I invested in but dont work (only observe). She works so hard at the business with our staff and I do the school runs and cook meals and teach my child after school etc. 

 

I love my child a lot (and wife) but find it quite stressful. The 2 of them are quite noisy and full on. I think they are behaving quite normal and reflect that I am the abnormal one. My wife deserves a gold medal for putting up with me this long, but she is not perfect either for reasons I will not go into here.  Im starting to feel quite anxious and angry around them at night times and just want to be alone.  I've always been quite highly strung and on edge- even before meeting her. I'm not naturally good with kids. 

 

The mother in law is staying at the moment and I'm away for a few nights alone. I feel so good being alone and happy being in peaceful surroundings. I can detach from everything and everyone. 

 

I think I need to do mindfulness meditation everyday and practice detachment. 

 

Any thoughts on all this. Thanks for listening. 

 

 

Oh brother I do know how you feel. I have two toddlers and sometimes I feel insanity is just around the corner. Find your own time. Make your wife understand you need it as a westerner, Thais don't. If you love them both, you don't really have a problem. Just find your own time and grow patience. Also spend time with your daughter, just the two of you, that's important too. Family life ain't easy. Good luck!