The week that was in Thailand news: How sniffer dogs, sex toy scams and a hotel maid saved my week!

[rooster59]

Rooster considers himself a positive individual - I find that a light-hearted attitude, not dwelling on the negative usually gets me through the day in Thailand.
 
And the years - I’ve nearly been here four decades with only the odd sojourn abroad. 
 
Thaivisa trumpeted this week that “the end is in sight” (they meant the end of bad stuff) and there was “good news at last”. 
 
It didn’t seem that way. The met office was reporting storms for central Thailand today (Sunday) and tomorrow - and my mood felt like the dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon. 
 
Events in Myanmar looked grim and it was painful to see the Thai government just call for meetings when people were being shot in the street and the Malaysian and Indonesian leaders were demanding more decisive action against the junta there.
 
In Europe there was a resurgence of the virus in places like Germany, France and Poland with more lockdowns amid talk of a dreaded “third wave”. An outbreak in Bang Khae in the west of Bangkok put the virus numbers back in the 100s. 
 
There were vaccine shortages - even the UK was struggling to get all the doses needed from India. 
 
Thai Rath reported that the great majority of people in Phuket - to name but one tourism place - were living below the poverty line after they were, understandably, abandoned by foreign tourists since the pandemic hit. 
 
The banning of water throwing at Songkran would have lightened my mood in years past. Now it just seemed like more regulation, less freedom, more misery. 
 
The baht was losing some of its value, said Thaivisa. There was no joy even there at Rooster’s Ratchayothin Roost.
 
Near all my money is in Thai banks in baht! I’m getting poorer by the day….
 
The other “good news” was that quarantine “might” end in October. No one seemed sure. Now we were really clutching at straws. It’s six months away for a start and who’s to say anyone will come or if it will be remotely advisable for anyone in Thailand to risk going anywhere, domestically or abroad.
 
I passed two and a half years having not got on a plane. Easily the longest in my adult life. My residence book was completely full of stamps in 2018 and I needed a new one.
 
I’ve still got it because I haven’t been anywhere - and like millions of others I’ve had no visits from relatives either. 
 
To top it off the price of beer was more in Thailand than even Edinburgh and Washington! Me and a mate polished off a bottle of Sang Som to drown our sorrows. 
 
Finally came news from the “World Happiness Report” that Finland, once again, was the happiest place on earth. The UK had slipped from 13th to 17th, the US was in 19th. Thailand has steadily slipped down the rankings since 2012.
 
I couldn’t bring myself to look at how far we’d gone now. It was little consolation that Afghanistan was bottom. 
 
As the pollution from the burning fields rolled into Bangkok again and my eyes stung like hell I retreated to the bedroom. Drew the curtains, turned on the air, put some noxious substance called Duratears in my eyes and switched on YouTube for my nightly dose of “Universe”.
 
It was comforting to know that though it may take a while we will ultimately all disappear down a supermassive black hole and the pain will be over…..
 
Fortunately, that innate ability to put both personal and “deeper field” upset behind me kicked in.
 
I looked in the mirror, saw I was still as handsome as ever despite (or perhaps because of)  not shaving for days, told Mrs R that my foot felt better after she dug out that pesky verruca with a knife (my how she likes to draw blood), looked at the gorgeous faces of my adorable young children and thought. 
 
Rooster, you never had it so good!
 
Thaivisa usually helps at a time like this because there are always plenty of quirky stories to both read and translate. Plenty of opportunity to grin inanely at my computer screen and bash furiously on the keyboard (bluetooth, the laptop’s bust) gaily typing some absurdly tortuous pun for the edification of the forum or secretly mocking Thailand’s leaders with language right out of Viz’s “Top Tips” page.
 
It ain’t all bad!
 
Top hoot of the week was the Thai teacher who got a surprise through the post in the form of an unordered sex toy. She whipped it out (of the packaging, that is) in class. Thankfully the children weren’t present but Khun Khru still had to sit down after coming over all “atremble”. 
 
Then to confirm fears that gangs of miscreants were doing cash on delivery scams, a less embarrassed woman in Sa Kaeo got a thick length of purple plastic through the male...I mean mail. 
 
Even Mrs Rooster wondered why people would A) pay for stuff and B) open it when they hadn’t even ordered it. She’ll take pictures of packages before and during opening stuff she HAS ordered. 
 
She thinks I’m a dinosaur because I have almost never ordered anything online. I even prefer to go out and pick up the pizza - a chance to get out! (and Google “sex toys online” for a friend, you understand).
 
Amusement continued with the news that Thailand is now the hub of sniffer dogs. The K9’s can apparently sniff out Covid and will soon be deployed to detect the virus in sweat at airports saving all those expensive tests.
 
This should please DPM Anutin especially after his “great unwashed” tirade last year.
 
As is widely known, at least according to the health minister, most foreigners are slathered in sweat on arrival in Thailand especially as the hot season bites. 
 
The dogs should have no problems keeping us safe especially from Brits who since time immemorial have regaled the Asians about their penchant for having a “bath night” once a week.
 
In fact the retrievers could be trained to sniff out so much more. It should be well within their canine compass to detect the whiff of BS and corruption.
 
I suggest they are deployed immediately to Government House and RTP HQ in Pathumwan. 
 
It was confirmed this week that Big Joke - Lt-Gen Surachate Hakpan - will be back in the fold at HQ working on police reform. 
 
It’ll be the perfect job for BJ, or so his critics think. No one in the TBP (top brass plod) wants reform so they will let BJ hang himself out to dry.
 
Or so they think. Surachate has been very canny in the past and who’s to say he won’t prove the doubters wrong and make a good fist of it rather than put his foot in it as his superiors are wont to do. 
 
I’m banking on BJ to smell fresher than roses in a year or two then embark on a political career that’ll once again put Thailand at the top of the happiness index. At least for jokes!
 
In other international news Tanzania’s president John Magufuli - a Covid skeptic - died of an unspecified virus. 
 
In Atlanta there were shootings of eight people at Asian/American spas. Joe Biden sought to calm things amid a spike in racism against that group.
 
In sports there was no doubting the best of the week especially for a horse racing lover like Rooster. Irish woman Rachael Blackmore became the first female jockey to win leading rider and the Champion Hurdle at Cheltenham in England. 
 
A punter with a 5 quid accumulator scooped 250,000 sobs despite the fact that his last horse fell at odds on. He had chickened out of winning 500,000 by taking Betfair’s “cash out” offer prior to the race. 
 
A wise fellow indeed!
 
Back in Thailand crime and sentencing were high up the news.
 
The khaki clad gang of seven who executed eight members of a family in Krabi in 2017 had their death sentences confirmed by the Supreme Court. 
 
In Ubon a 70 year old Thai man shot his son-in-law after he broke up the family having had sex with his wife (the father-in-law’s wife that is). 
 
A policeman in Ayutthaya shot a woman, put her in burning tires and threw the remains in the Chao Phraya. Another member of the Trang constabulary stalked his girlfriend in Surat and murdered her at a gas station coffee shop.
 
Unfortunately he survived his suicide attempt. 
 
One wonders what the UK public - still reeling from a London policeman abducting and killing a young woman - would make of it all. 
 
More law abiding plod continued to arrest loan sharks all over the country and immigration continued to detain illegal migrants and their Thai helpers. 
 
PM Prayut and other cabinet ministers finally got their jabs then Big Too had to run the gauntlet of a group of very loud protesters at Government House shouting for him to go. He did...inside. 
 
In Pattaya the Japanese visited to say they are interested in building the monorail, the New Nordic group applied for some form of bankruptcy, twenty hotels were keen to run Area Quarantine and Sophon Cable TV moaned that someone was digging up North Pattaya Road again. 
 
Business as usual in QUOTES!
 
A poll suggested the Thais were more worried about road accidents than Covid at Songkran though few seemed to want a water fight. 
 
Finally, my blues - and I’m sure those of many on the forum - were lifted by the actions of a brilliant former hotel maid in Buriram who stepped up to the plate when others were wavering to give CPR to a six year old boy and save his life after he looked dead from drowning. 
 
Well done to 53 year old Sommart Nimmit who had learned the rudiments of rescue in Norway on a course. The video was heartwarming.
 
You saved my week not to mention that little guy’s life.
 
You’re a legend.
 
Rooster
 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2021-03-21

 

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[Orton Rd]

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

[rumak]

5 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

I was reading the ever long weekly sermon hoping i might find something to laugh about ...

Thank you for providing that ...........

[PatOngo]

1 hour ago, Orton Rd said:

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

Oh come on, read the OP, OR.............."And the years - I’ve nearly been here four decades with only the odd sojourn abroad. "

[bluesofa]

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

looked at the gorgeous faces of my adorable young children and thought. 
 Rooster, you never had it so good!

'You've never had it so good' made popular by Harold Macmillan, (British Prime Minister from 1957- 1963), who obtained the phrase from a US political slogan

Although for some reason I can't imagine Mr McMillan's kids watching his wife dig out a verruca.

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

typing some absurdly tortuous pun for the edification of the forum or secretly mocking Thailand’s leaders with language right out of Viz’s “Top Tips” page.

The Top Tip I can always remember:
Don't waste thousands of pounds buying a customised car number plate. Simply spend fifty pounds and change your name by deed poll.
Yours,
Mr NJF355P

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Top hoot of the week was the Thai teacher who got a surprise through the post in the form of an unordered sex toy

'an unordered sex toy'    Does that mean it wasn't assembled - did it come from IKEA with instructions?

 

Edited March 21, 2021 by bluesofa

[sambum]

5 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

 

Is this sarcasm or irony?

 

"And the years - I’ve nearly been here four decades with only the odd sojourn abroad."

 

 

[Artisi]

4 hours ago, bluesofa said:

"

an unordered sex toy'    Does that mean it wasn't assembled - did it come from IKEA with instructions?" 

 

It might well mean it has a warped mind of its own....... 

[TheFishman1]

Really just too long to get paid by the letter

[Rocking Robert]

You’re kidding me he gets paid for this

[AgMech Cowboy]

9 hours ago, rooster59 said:

In other international news Tanzania’s president John Magufuli - a Covid skeptic - died of an unspecified virus. 

Maybe if you got your news from some besides Reuters, CNN, BBC, etc... 

https://www.theepochtimes.com/tanzanias-president-admits-country-has-covid-19-problem_3705091.html

Yes, very late in getting to the game, but at least he finally got there. RIP Pres. Magufuli

Edited March 21, 2021 by AgMech Cowboy

[Ricebarnandrooms]

9 hours ago, rooster59 said:

looked in the mirror, saw I was still as handsome as ever

Eye drops didn’t work then 555

[BostonRob2]

11 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

You may be prepared to conveniently overlook the imminent prospect of our disappearing down a supermassive black hole but I, for one, am not. Fair play to Rooster for flagging up this, and many other important issues.

[SiSePuede419]

18 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Near all my money is in Thai banks in baht! I’m getting poorer by the day….

Nope.  You will have the same number of Baht as before.  The exchange rate doesn't affect your bank balance. ????

[Stargeezr]

Thanks Rooster for giving me some good chuckles in your weekly news update. I am also glad that Big Joke has returned 

from the place he was sent.  I do remember Sang Som, as I consumed quite a lot of it in Phuket years ago when there was

a 3 day rain event.  Now I just sip on Crown Royal on occasion.  There seemed to be more murders happening, I guess

the pandemic is affecting us all in different ways, and does not help all the other reasons that people are killing each other.

    I hope that the rain storms will wash away some of the smoke issues , even for a few days.

Cheers

Geezer

[brianthainess]

13 hours ago, Rocking Robert said:

You’re kidding me he gets paid for this

Ha Ha cant help remembering my old grandmother when I hear this, who was an opera singer in her day, on seeing 'Top of the Pops' on telly for the first time said, " Oh, I say dear, do they get paid for this?"

[Artisi]

3 hours ago, SiSePuede419 said:

Nope.  You will have the same number of Baht as before.  The exchange rate doesn't affect your bank balance. ????

Maybe getting poorer if you are thinking in real currency, in this case £UK. 

[jacko45k]

21 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Why do you write this stuff, are paid paid or just bored? You forgot to tell us how long you have lived here this week.

Second paragraph.... did you phase out?

[Mark mark]

"After they were, understandably, abandoned by foreign tourists since the pandemic hit" ...  

 

Well, I do not think that we abandoned them, … It was just that HUGE and Ginormous Beurocratic Hurdles, put in our way just stopped us coming !!! …  (Even though I will be heading for Ayutthaya and not Phuket, if and when I get back through it all) ...    .... Have you ever tried getting health insurance when you are over 65 and Have ANY sort of other Health issues !!!!!! .... ???

 

… Well, I think that the world WILL be much changed when this Epidemic is over ? But I do think that quite likely for the better !!! ... (If we can get the Dictators who are Politically taking advantage of it out of power any way ???) ...  Like it probably never will be "Over" let’s just say " It is “But maybe also for the better !!!  …  (Thailand not so dependent on Tourism ? and well Australia not so dependent on Real-estate Prices !!! After the rest of the world Opens back up again ??? – Well let’s hope so.)

 

…. Still, you can get Lucky on some days you know.  … Like when I accidentally found the only Clinic in town that was taking bookings for the Astra Zeneca Jab !!! ... 

 

.... And it is good to hear about Big Joke being back. ... I hope that he also gets a few of those <Deleted> phone scammers back in goal also !!! … Wy Old Mother here in Australia, was getting 4 or 5 calls a day for a while .... And they seem to come in from overseas e.g. Thailand ! as well as more likely other places, a lot in our Thai and North of Australia Region.  … and then they seem to be redirected in Sydney, to a fake Australian Number like an 02 number .... But now it is down to 2 !  … Which IS Nice  !!!   As Telstra the Local top Teleco, is now Finally ! ... working on stopping them doing this I think !!! ....

 

... And well if Big Joke can get a few of two at their source ??? … Like he COULD be a force against these “Our Old People” cheating <Deleted>’s, ... regionally  maybe ???  ... I would hope. ???... Like he seemed to be before ???

 

This would be good in my opinion, .. Like I like Big Joke as to try to stop the Cheating and robbing of the Vulnerable and the Old is a very good thing that he was doing before I think ! … So I AM glad to see him back.

 

Thanks for your Great Column again this Sunday Rooster.

 

… Greatest Thanks.

 

Mark mark

[RocketDog]

On 3/21/2021 at 9:57 AM, rooster59 said:

And the years - I’ve nearly been here four decades with only the odd sojourn abroad. 

Well, good for you. I guess that beats actually being here that long. 

Well played Sir. 

I'm only semi-concious some of the time but I bet it's not as good as your gig. 

[rosst]

Ah, good on you old cock, ha ha ha ha ha you stirred a few up this time. 

I love your post each week, keep up the good work. 

[Mark mark]

Good on you Rooster, another very good Column, !!! 

 

… And yes, you do seem to have stirred up a few of the <less Imaginative> ? People quite a bit this time ! ???  … Like I think that I see a LOT More negativity in the Blogs, under your Good Writing this time, than I normally do  ? …  I wonder why ???

 

Maybe it is Epidemic Fatigue, ? ...  Like the mental Health of the whole world’s Population will have been tested pretty well just about fully !!!  After this one !  ... and particularly in the Cooler Developed countries I think, as they mostly are not used to a total disaster, just this bad I think ?  …  Whereas in some third world countries, like Africa ? They have these sort of things happening all of the time possibly, ? ... Hence, they just take it as "More of the same" I guess. … … And well I think that the unhappy bloggers above here, probably would be from the former group. < As well as Non Native Anglo, English speakers Maybe ? > … And please delete this if you disagree … Mate !!!  (And not just the whole thing)

 

... Your Column is always good, and informative also, and provokes a lot of Good thought also I think. … So thanks very much Mate. Please keep it up.

 

 … Yes, you start this one off with  "I find that a light-hearted attitude, not dwelling on the negative usually gets me through the day, …. "  Is a Great Start !!! ... … Your opening Lines, and Great Thanks !!! ...

 

…  About where My Councilor started off my Total Great Rebuild just after my Collapse, at the start of the Lock down, and closed Borders !!! Right !!! …..  And Really good stuff Mate and basically, ... the basics.... And Thanks Greatly. ...

 

…  Yes he eventually (The Drugs and Alcohol Councilor) worked me out, and caught on (A Very intelligent, my Borrowed but Very good  local Prisoner Reform group, !!!  … as he was the only one around at the time !!! ...  and well I quickly found him to be the best for me any way, also ! ...   No university certificate and says he does not watch the news or not ??? …

 

… And then he just started shouting out …. Well talking strongly about my, getting out my "Negative Soap Box" ... AGAIN !!! Oh God ! You let than one suck you in, and derail you again !!!)  ....  Which well was about the best answer any one has had that I can remember ?...   For the miss management ! of half of a Life time !!! I think. ….

 

…  And You mate !!! Are also Quite aware of the dangers of this Mistake in Life also I am sure. !!! As I read it quietly implied in your column every week !!! .... The Negative Soap box !!!  Like !!!  Being just really Really REALLY Good ! ... at describing just how bad things Really are !!! Right ???? Like how useless and totally self-destructive is that !!! (And probably using a lot of Exclamation marks as well) ... 

 

…  So thanks for the Humor and positivity Mate ! And Always !!!

 

… Please keep this column up for as Long as you can. (Yes I remember Bernard Trink... he kept it up ? … Well Sort of I guess ? …  But well he came from a Different Place in Life right ? ... And Humor also didn't he !!! ... Like, I like your stuff better. … Anglo Humor admittedly  ! ??? …  But Very Relevant. ... And thanks for that mate.

 

Thanks

 

Mark mark ... From somewhere up the Asia Highway .... …

... Just up the Road a bit from you. Right ?  … ( When I can get vaccinated and then back to my home there.… )

 

[Marpa47]

 

“Finally, my blues - and I’m sure those of many on the forum - were lifted by the actions of a brilliant former hotel maid in Buriram who stepped up to the plate when others were wavering to give CPR to a six year old boy and save his life after he looked dead from drowning. 
 
Well done to 53 year old Sommart Nimmit who had learned the rudiments of rescue in Norway on a course. The video was heartwarming.
 
You saved my week not to mention that little guy’s life.
 
You’re a legend.”

 

Thank you Rooster for keeping us in the loop.  You are always able to come across with a refreshing twist on the events ‘at home and abroad’.  Too bad the news does not cooperate with something a bit on the lighter side.  Too much of the other stuff for me.  Thanks for finding and focusing on the bright spot in the world when it appears.  And thanks for doing all this in spite of the all too many “slings and arrows”.