does anyone have any advice for making friends with thai males? after years living here i cannt for the life of me seem the push throguh the superificial levels of friendship with thai men. its seems they do not computer friendship the same way we do in the west and its very frustratiing. i am rather an open book when it comes to friendships and would love to meet a genuine (straight) local guy to hang out with. up to now, its been a fruitless exercise. no such issue with the farangs tho, everytime i go out i am accosted by holiday makers, we have fun and a few laughs and iots great but then they depart.

 

why is it so difficult to make friends with thai men? do they distrust us? is it the language barrier? are they jealous of us? there always seems to be some ulterior motive with thai dudes, whats the deal?

any help would be appreciated.

Speak Thai. Join a club—running, cycling etc. Highly touristic areas not the best. 

7 hours ago, daveAustin said:

Speak Thai

i do. sometimes i wish i didnt, some of the things i've heard them say about us over the years is downright disturbing!

9 minutes ago, bob smith said:

i do. sometimes i wish i didnt, some of the things i've heard them say about us over the years is downright disturbing!

Easy to make friends. Younger Thais under 50yo more interested in friendships.

Last couple weeks I've been playing golf on my own for practice and a couple times Thai men have asked to join me. Nice guys, friendly. Also met good Thai guys cycling

7 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Nice guys, friendly.

were they sincere though>? thats what i struggle with. not the fact that they seem friendly on the surface, but the sincerity of their words and actions.

15 minutes ago, bob smith said:

i do. sometimes i wish i didnt, some of the things i've heard them say about us over the years is downright disturbing!

And you still want to make friends? Thai guys live under completely different culture, upbringing, education, knowledge and life's values...

Best to give them a wide birth Bob. After 30 years, I would'nt invite one of them to my home for a BBQ! I have had many aquantainances through my working life in Thailand but NO lasting friendships with any Thai males!

7 hours ago, ezzra said:

And you still want to make friends? Thai guys live under completely different culture, upbringing, education, knowledge and life's values...

i'd still like to give it a shot yeh. frutiless as it may be, there must be at least one thai man in thailand that i can get along with on a deeper level than 'hello, how are you?' 'you eat today yet?' ????

28 minutes ago, bob smith said:

why is it so difficult to make friends with thai men?

Maybe it's you?!

7 hours ago, 2baht said:

Best to give them a wide birth Bob. After 30 years, I would'nt invite one of them to my home for a BBQ! I have had many aquantainances through my working life in Thailand but NO lasting friendships with any Thai males!

its really strange. in the west that just doesnt happen. we all make friends, the come and go, through work, gym, going out etc. doesnt seem to be the case here tho, really weird. 30 years and no friendships with the local lads. kinda sad in a way

5 minutes ago, 2baht said:

Best to give them a wide birth Bob. After 30 years, I would'nt invite one of them to my home for a BBQ! I have had many aquantainances through my working life in Thailand but NO lasting friendships with any Thai males!

A lot of Thai women have the same issue!

 

7 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Maybe it's you?!

hmm, maybe. but if others have the same experience, some who have been here 30 years, maybe it isnt just me eh?

1 minute ago, bob smith said:

its really strange. in the west that just doesnt happen. we all make friends, the come and go, through work, gym, going out etc. doesnt seem to be the case here tho, really weird. 30 years and no friendships with the local lads. kinda sad in a way

Our mothers don't put us on a pedistal and tell us how great we are from birth and we are not brought up being told that we were never colonised and we don't need foreigners! 

7 hours ago, 2baht said:

Our mothers don't put us on a pedistal and tell us how great we are from birth

you think this could be an underlying issue? do they think that they are too good for us? or maybe they are scared that their ego will take a bruising when next to a foriegner? i know thai men have big egos but surely not that big that they cant have a foreigner as a friend?

Deep down I find they are wimps, there pride is false but face is all important to them to the extent that they even lie to themselves!

If any posters have Thai male friends, thats cool, no problem, but not for me! Many of my long stay farang friends feel the same way. I have no trouble living here without them.

 

 

7 hours ago, 2baht said:

If any posters have Thai male friends, thats cool, no problem, but not for me! Many of my long stay farang friends feel the same way.

i'd definitely like to hear from those that have. maybe i could get a few pointers..

IME friendships with Thai men are fairly superficial.

IMO many Thai men have a deep-seated inferiority complex when it comes to Western men. It explains why they may react violently when it comes to a dispute of any kind, due to the loss of face it may entail.

I go with the flow; however, I don't think pushing for something closer is worth the effort.

I would suggest to the OP the only Thais that have potential are those who have lived outside Thailand for some time.

This Auld chessnut. Thai men tend to be frenemies more often than not.

 

All "friendy" untill your usefullness runs out. And the <deleted> they say about you lol. It's like that scene from the interview. When rocket man goes all out xenophobic.

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

IME friendships with Thai men are fairly superficial.

IMO many Thai men have a deep-seated inferiority complex when it comes to Western men. It explains why they may react violently when it comes to a dispute of any kind, due to the loss of face it may entail.

I go with the flow; however, I don't think pushing for something closer is worth the effort.

So true.

7 hours ago, Lacessit said:

IME friendships with Thai men are fairly superficial.

IMO many Thai men have a deep-seated inferiority complex when it comes to Western men. It explains why they may react violently when it comes to a dispute of any kind, due to the loss of face it may entail.

I go with the flow; however, I don't think pushing for something closer is worth the effort.

cant argue with that! its still strange tho, they are only human after all. kinda sad that they see us as so much of a threat when most of us are rather pleasant, social chaps... right?? ????

9 minutes ago, 2baht said:

If any posters have Thai male friends, thats cool, no problem, but not for me! Many of my long stay farang friends feel the same way. I have no trouble living here without them.

 

 

Mai pen rai I guess. 

30 minutes ago, bob smith said:

were they sincere though>? thats what i struggle with. not the fact that they seem friendly on the surface, but the sincerity of their words and actions.

No.  Its too big a cultural and educational gap. Even well educated Thais, in top positions in their professions, are too different, think too differently, have different outlooks and world views and live too differently.  Whatever relationship you build up will always be skin deep and superficial.  I would not even call my comments generalisations; I would call them universal truths. 

 

There's a direct correlation between how much money you spend on some and the amount of interest shown towards you.

 

I went to a Thai nightclub with a Thai muay thai instructor one night at 2am and yeh kinda not the best place to go at all, not made to feel welcome at all, women and men there and would not even look at me, until i was outside and then got some frosty / nasty looks from the men.

 

It must be strange for them to see us falangs pour lavish over the women and then make no attempt to speak or interact with men (to be fair language barrier is an issue)

 

We also do not have the same socialising establishments, go to a bar in Germany and plenty of german men, go to a bar in Thailand and how many men frequent the same one......hardly any . mostly none. The tourist areas are really falang only that and only gays and women, no straight men.

 

The main way for Thai men to meet falangs is to dress up like a women and then you get drinks etc and perhaps become friends.

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, bob smith said:

cant argue with that! its still strange tho, they are only human after all. kinda sad that they see us as so much of a threat when most of us are rather pleasant, social chaps... right?? ????

Travel broadens the mind, right?

The vast bulk of Thais have been circumscribed within an education system that barely takes notice of any events outside Thailand. Many can't read a map of their own country, let alone one of the world. It makes for very narrow minds.

 

It's not just Thailand, there are areas of Australia where I would have to dumb myself down in speech and subject matter to be accepted.

forget about it

Are you getting the picture, Bob?

I’m not in your boat, I’m still in Australia and only visit Thailand.

My father in law has passed away and I only know my two Thai brother in laws.

Both of whom like a beer or two, which is nice.

Woot I’ve only met over songkran one year he’s from Korat but works in Bangkok and liked the vegemite I took over, the only one in the family who did ! ????

Keo works at the local school as a Jack of all trades as far as I can work out ????????‍♂️ His wife works in Bangkok as a nanny so he’s the man to help Grandma with my step daughters.

Neither of them can speak a word of English, but we can muster a laugh together and cook buffalo skin or crying tiger.

It would be great to be able to communicate more with them, something for me to work on, my Lao.

4 minutes ago, ed strong said:

The main way for Thai men to meet falangs is to dress up like a women and then you get drinks etc and perhaps become friends.

 

 

 

 

Savage and true. Nice one mate. Gave me a good chuckle ????