Making friends with Thai men.

[rankric]

Im in a football group with about 60 thai lads between 15-60 years old.

 

This group is a LINE Group and if you have your own photo in that group someone will create an account use your photo and send porno messages to the group pretending to be you. A few guys come and join and get their photo robbed and next thing you know, they never come to football again.

 

Not happened to me but they do it to the old guys and all in between. 

 

 

 

 

[FarAway]

6 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I dont know about Isaan men, I just dont think we have enough in common with them for anything other than a superficial nod of the head relationship...but have quite a few really good Thai mates in Bangkok...all University educated middle income type people. Met them through buying and selling musical gear...super honest to a fault I might say. Been camping and other outings with them and their families. Great down to earth guys, pretty much like us. Love a beer and a bbq and great sense of humour. All very intelligent and consciencious about everything they do. International travel does the world of good for a Thai, as it does for anyone for that matter

 

Funny how things can be different for different people. I like the people in Isaan more than in Bangkok.

 

To me the Bangkokians are enslaved by the ugly and chaotic concrete jungle they live in, totally brainwashed by the media and superficial. When they see me in my cheap clothing I can see how they immediately judge me, while I have a higher bank account than 99% of them.

Whenever I see some Thais being masked where no one else is, you can be sure they are Bangkokians ????

Most of them are just focused on money over everything as well, makes sense I guess, otherwise you would never like to live in Bangkok if you have any choice.

 

While the Isaan people are down-to-earth and humble people that value family over anything and are respectable craftsmen. They know how to take care of themselves and are not dependent on their mobile phone or some multi-national companies to pay them a salary to survive in this world.

And to pick up the topic with masks once more, they are way more relaxed regarding that as well. Like in Laos, which makes sense as Isaan people are just Thai on the paper, but ethnically Laotians. 

 

[FarAway]

8 hours ago, Simple Jack said:

 

 

While I support this guy for many things he says regarding LGBTQ propaganda, resistance against the criminal governments, how he defies toxic feminism and supports men in their natural behavior and so on, I need to laugh about that one.

My Thai wife is way more beautiful than his gf by any means.

 

Furthermore he always (rightly) talks about how the system wants to divide the family and still he is there, in his mid-30s without a family and a medium-looking golddigger gf, while I am here in my mid-20s with my lovely looking Thai wife and our first daughter.

 

Most likely he just always went to Pattaya, Phuket and Samui to talk like that and never met any real Thai girl. 

[FarAway]

9 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

You keep agreeing with all the Thai bashers, so I'm a little uncertain whether you genuinely want insights is or if you're dreaming up thread topics to help while away the hours, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

 

Thai men are neither coddled prima donnas nor suffer from a collective inferiority complex. What they do feel is resentment about the unfair competitive financial advantage that many foreign men enjoy, and the arrogance and dismissive attitude which many foreign men exude towards Thai men. Rightfully so, as you'd be resentful as well. In fact, compared to white men's possessive attitude towards non-white men becoming sexually involved with white women, Thai men are downright welcoming towards foreign men's cathousing in Thailand. They are also probably somewhat confused on some level about why Thai women are so sought after by foreign men while Thai men seem to enjoy far less romantic interest from foreign women. They are also probably shy and hesitant about making social overtures towards foreign men because of a lack of self-confidence with their English language skills. But with that said, many, many Thai men are affable, approachable, have great senses of humor, and have much to offer in terms of knowledge, life experience and insights into Thai culture.

 

They are often keenly observant and highly intuitive. They can tell a lot about what you're thinking just by looking in your eyes. They are not stupid and are good judge's of character. Foreign men who act like they're god's gift to Thai women or who give off vibes that Thai men are scum are obviously not going to quickly be befriended. They can see through a phony smile in a heartbeat, and if you think you can spend all day bashing Thai men on social media and that won't bleed into your demeanor when you encounter a Thai male in real life, you're kidding yourself. That condescending attitude is easily sensed just by looking in your eyes, and at the curve of your mouth.

 

In general, the Western model for male-male friendship doesn't work here. For the most part, the exalted Western model for male-male friendship is a fantasy anyway, filled with fake  commitments typically followed by disappointment, betrayal, and backstabbing. The Thai male-male model is a far more pragmatic, sensible, honest, and truer to human nature than the nonsensical friendship ideals we were all fed back home.

 

Thai men essentially bond over shared common experiences and interests. The "blood brother" "I'd take a bullet for you/donate a kidney for you" BS that very few people truly ever experience back home isn't even aspired to here. That goes for Thai male friendships with other Thai males as well. It's all about shared common experiences and interests built up over time. Period. Nobody is looking to share dreams and darkest secrets, or intimate details about your medical history or sex life. The Thai friendship model is absolutely more honest, and generally speaking you have a better idea of where you stand. The Western model for male friendship - which in many ways is a facade - needs to be thrown out the window.

 

It's all about finding common interests. That's it. And because you are in their country, you have to make more of an effort to find those common interests, if only because they may not really have a very good conceptualization of what interests you may have. I can't speak for an urban setting, but in a rural setting that means having some kind of interest in the land because that's ultimately what everyone's life centers around. Farming, gardening, food, sports, repairing, construction, health issues, diet, etc are they types of common interests I have managed to develop with the people in my moo ban.

 

Thai language skills are critically important not just to communicate, but to gain insights into the culture and to show cultural interest and respect. If your Thai is rudimentary it's probably going to be tough. 

 

Humbleness can't faked.

 

Smiling and having an affable nature - something I'll be the first to admit I need to work on myself - are very important. Convey a measure of concern and interest in those around you. That includes helping those in need from time to time and showing a willingness to pitch in. That doesn't mean you have to be constantly giving people handouts or be trying to buy people's friendship. That's not going to work.

 

It's very important to get on the same circadian cycle as those around you. Again, having a connection to the land not only builds common interest, but shows respect and a shared work ethic.  You do not want to be perceived as lolling around in a hammock all day while everyone around you is slaving in the midday sun.

 

You don't have to feign an interest in going to the temple on holy days, or pretend you're interested in cock fighting, or to be buying round after round at the local drinking circle if these things do not interest you. It's simply a matter of being yourself, finding common interests, and building up mutual respect and camaraderie over time.

 

And the final advice I would offer is to make your friendship with the Thai male your focus, as opposed to quickly shifting your friendship focus to his girlfriend or wife. It is my observation that Thais don't do "couples" that much, certainly not out in the countryside. Men have men friends, and women have women friends. Maybe urban more westernized couples do couples activities, but my sense is that even though you might see this on TV shows and commercials, I'm skeptical how much of this really goes on. I'm not saying Thai couples never interact as couples, but you as a foreign man, will encounter considerable leariness from the Thai male if you start getting overly friendly with his girlfriend or wife, especially if you shift focus right off the bat.

 

Awesome post. It seems you are way longer than me in this country, but just by my short time here and general common sense I can underline any word you said.

It was a pleasure to read your post in this forum which always disappoints me and makes me realize the bad reputation of Thailand and its foreigners have a reason.

 

I really think it is a thing of location as well, as you mentioned. You seem to be like me, like rural and real places instead of superficial and hectic concrete jungles. And obviously if you are like that, you will find more people like you as well.

 

I furthermore think it is basically impossible to find any decent people nowadays in any urban area worldwide anyway, not just in Thailand. All nice people that I know just go there if cannot be avoided.

 

I assume most people here are living in Chiang Mai City, Bangkok, Phuket, Samui and Pattaya. And then you wonder why you cannot find real friends, especially in the latter. Was there once and cannot even comprehend by one cell of my brain how anyone wanna live there. It is a <deleted>hole of a "city", full of human scum, and you obviously will just find something like that there. 

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, 2baht said:

Best to give them a wide birth Bob. After 30 years, I would'nt invite one of them to my home for a BBQ! I have had many aquantainances through my working life in Thailand but NO lasting friendships with any Thai males!

My rule #2 in Thailand. Never ever be around Thais drinking alcohol. My Thai BIL used to turn violent after a few glasses, and throw the furniture around.

[Sparktrader]

26 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

Awesome post. It seems you are way longer than me in this country, but just by my short time here and general common sense I can underline any word you said.

It was a pleasure to read your post in this forum which always disappoints me and makes me realize the bad reputation of Thailand and its foreigners have a reason.

 

I really think it is a thing of location as well, as you mentioned. You seem to be like me, like rural and real places instead of superficial and hectic concrete jungles. And obviously if you are like that, you will find more people like you as well.

 

I furthermore think it is basically impossible to find any decent people nowadays in any urban area worldwide anyway, not just in Thailand. All nice people that I know just go there if cannot be avoided.

 

I assume most people here are living in Chiang Mai City, Bangkok, Phuket, Samui and Pattaya. And then you wonder why you cannot find real friends, especially in the latter. Was there once and cannot even comprehend by one cell of my brain how anyone wanna live there. It is a <deleted>hole of a "city", full of human scum, and you obviously will just find something like that there. 

Speak your mind next time

[Orinoco]

9 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

You keep agreeing with all the Thai bashers,

You would be more credible,  if you had not started your post off,  with that sentence ( above )

It just set the tone of your post, a shame you did that.

but that was a nice windbag post anyway.

Maybe I and others  should start our posts off with.

The sad Thai apologists of Asean Now. 

Good day.

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, bluebluewater said:

Thai men?  I just find them to be the most uninteresting creatures . . . 

LOL. I agree. I wasn't interested in sleeping with them, so why would I want to know any? Also, the males in my Thai family put me off even trying.

Having said that, most of the Thai males I had encounters with during normal life ( in m'bike repair places, neighbours, shops etc ) seemed like perfectly normal pleasant people, and most were helpful when they could be. I never had a problem with Thai men per se, just not interested in making buddy friends with any.

[Sparktrader]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. I agree. I wasn't interested in sleeping with them, so why would I want to know any? Also, the males in my Thai family put me off even trying.

Having said that, most of the Thai males I had encounters with during normal life ( in m'bike repair places, neighbours, shops etc ) seemed like perfectly normal pleasant people, and most were helpful when they could be. I never had a problem with Thai men per se, just not interested in making buddy friends with any.

So u only talk to people you want to sleep with?

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Sparktrader said:

So u only talk to people you want to sleep with?

[Orinoco]

49 minutes ago, FarAway said:

I assume most people here are living in Chiang Mai City, Bangkok, Phuket, Samui and Pattaya. And then you wonder why you cannot find real friends, especially in the latter. Was there once and cannot even comprehend by one cell of my brain how anyone wanna live there. It is a <deleted>hole of a "city", full of human scum, and you obviously will just find something like that there. 

The hatred is strong with this one. 

 

 

[FarAway]

2 minutes ago, Orinoco said:

The hatred is strong with this one. 

 

 

Yup, really hate these places. No humanity, no integrity. But not just in Thailand, I basically hate every urban area in any country I went to.

The further you go away from the urban and touristic places, the more real the people you meet.

[Orinoco]

2 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

Yup, really hate these places. No humanity, no integrity. But not just in Thailand, I basically hate every urban area in any country I went to.

The further you go away from the urban and touristic places, the more real the people you meet.

Think you have a slight brain malfunction.  

 

[Sparktrader]

21 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

Yup, really hate these places. No humanity, no integrity. But not just in Thailand, I basically hate every urban area in any country I went to.

The further you go away from the urban and touristic places, the more real the people you meet.

Whats wrong with CM?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

9 hours ago, bob smith said:

andrew tate spitting some home truths that im sure i few members here will not like!

Charming. People like to be free. Women are people and want to be free. Who'd have thought that when they got financial and emotional independence they would want something different than the likes of him.  It makes sense.

 

I find Thai men friendly though I have not built substantial relationships. The one guy I did become friendly with had fairly common interests and aspirations I suppose. Sometimes the more outgoing gregarious western men can unintentionally come across a bit aggressive and showoffy when they are looking to be affable. Thais are friendly but have a kind of gentleness or simplicity that doesn't always lend itself as well to that sort of approach. Sincerity will always win through. 

[thaibeachlovers]

18 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Whats wrong with CM?

A better question is "what's right with C M?". I stayed there because it was cheaper than Pattaya or any beach area, and I wasn't interested in bars any more.

[thaibeachlovers]

38 minutes ago, Orinoco said:

Think you have a slight brain malfunction.  

 

I think people see what they want to wherever they go. To me a small town is bliss, but when I was a young fella it would have been boring.

I guess if one believes that a town or city is a repository for the worst of humanity, it's not hard to find evidence of that, but that does not mean goodness does not reside there as well.

 

Even in the small town I like, there are many troublemakers- such is the world we live in.

[Sparktrader]

28 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I think people see what they want to wherever they go. To me a small town is bliss, but when I was a young fella it would have been boring.

I guess if one believes that a town or city is a repository for the worst of humanity, it's not hard to find evidence of that, but that does not mean goodness does not reside there as well.

 

Even in the small town I like, there are many troublemakers- such is the world we live in.

People view the world not only as it is but how they are.

[Sparktrader]

34 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

A better question is "what's right with C M?". I stayed there because it was cheaper than Pattaya or any beach area, and I wasn't interested in bars any more.

Food, women,countryside. 

[Gecko123]

The profile of the Thai male basher:

 

1. Can't speak Thai (98%)

2. Red-light district oriented (75%)

3. Racist (99%)

4. Socially isolated (89%)

5. Substance abuser (70%)

6. Working class employment and educational background (99%)

7. Suffering from age-related health problems (90%)

 

Essentially we're talking about guys who are bitter because the bar scene is no longer a viable or attractive lifestyle either due to age-related loss of libido or lack of interest from bar girls. Financial pressures also make maintaining this lifestyle increasingly difficult, and limit options, including repatriation, to adjust to these changing realities. If it wasn't for these constraints, the percentage of Thai-bashers who were red-light district oriented would be much higher.

 

They turn to booze and other substances to try to cope but this only isolates them further, intensifying the cycle of bitterness. By telling themselves that Thai men are unworthy and inadequate providers, Thai male bashers also seek to rationalize and justify the monger lifestyle which they know is exploitative and soul-destroying. I consider this group of people, who are sadly over-represented on this forum, to be the absolute dregs of the ex-pat community.

 

 

[Orinoco]

3 hours ago, FarAway said:

and still he is there, in his mid-30s without a family and a medium-looking golddigger gf, while I am here in my mid-20s with my lovely looking Thai wife and our first daughter.

Most likely he just always went to Pattaya, Phuket and Samui to talk like that and never met any real Thai girl. 

Oh dear. what a shame.

 

[Orinoco]

55 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Thai male bashers also seek to rationalize and justify the monger lifestyle which they know is exploitative and soul-destroying. I consider this group of people, who are sadly over-represented on this forum, to be the absolute dregs of the ex-pat community

I find it very hard to believe that there are any expats, that have poo,  that doesn't smell just a little bit.

think they just hide there past/present, very well. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Andre0720]

10 hours ago, Simple Jack said:

Sorry mate i have to disagree. "nothing personal" He's never come across or claimed to be a dating guru. Quite the opposite. Just a guy doing his own thing & spitting truths. Sadly the ncp's from Soiboycuckcuckastan don't like it.

Well, I did listen to this fellow.

And yes, there are truths in what he says, but then it is followed by an untruth, fallacy or otherwise. He seems to try to put lots of emphasis on something true, so that everything that follows appear true also. Listen to him again..

This guy does not deserve any attention at all. Some of his readers find him creepy. Must be a reason for that...

[Gecko123]

30 minutes ago, Orinoco said:

I find it very hard to believe that there are any expats, that have poo,  that doesn't smell just a little bit.

think they just hide there past/present, very well. 

 

 

 

 

 

Totally agree. Myself included. Question is whether you have explore beyond what may have initially attracted you to Thailand. Those who don't are the ones who become bitter and twisted.

[Orinoco]

3 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Totally agree. Myself included. Question is whether you have explore beyond what may have initially attracted you to Thailand. Those who don't are the ones who become bitter and twisted.

I think nearly everyone does, if you stay long enough and live long enough.

I would say it's just natural progression of life, no one truly stands still in life

to much changes around you for that to happen.

 

[stoner]

13 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

But there is one little Japanese oriented bar on my way back home from Soi Cowboy. They have super cute girls sitting in front waiting for customers. And they are not interested at all in farangs.

thats an easy one. you and most other foreigners do not meet the strict 444 requirements. 

[KannikaP]

17 hours ago, bob smith said:

i'd still like to give it a shot yeh. frutiless as it may be, there must be at least one thai man in thailand that i can get along with on a deeper level than 'hello, how are you?' 'you eat today yet?' ????

Why?

[stoner]

12 hours ago, Simple Jack said:

ncp's

mu mu mu ncp's 

 

ncp jokes were hip like 3 or 4 years ago. 

[1FinickyOne]

17 hours ago, bob smith said:

were they sincere

you mean like the farang you meet? 

 

What exactly do most acquaintances and even friends have to be sincere about? 

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, 1FinickyOne said:

What exactly do most acquaintances and even friends have to be sincere about? 

wow. im glad im not your friend!