How to get out of team-building trips

[Mr Derek]

The frau works for a large bank that thinks it must transport everyone several times a year to some resort or other outside Bangkok for bonding sessions. These events are normal in the industry and they probably see it as a treat. I am against this practice, not just because it's a stupid management fad, but because it involves being driven in a minibus on highways by unknown persons for several hours each way (these places are usually a bit remote with no alternative transport option).

Mrs D does not understand my objection (being Thai, she is compliant to authority in all things), and it would not be good for her career for her to refuse to go. However, I am dead against her making unnecessary journeys on Thailand's parlous roads, especially in minibuses, especially on the busy highways leading out of Bangkok. Road safety-wise, it would probably be better if I hired a car and drove her out to these places myself. However, I have a heart condition and don't want to be driving unnecessarily.

Must one really put up with these things? I can't be the only one with these objections. Is there any diplomatic solution? 

[setbkk]

A large bank would likely hire compentent van drivers, much more so than tour operators on a budget. I agree with wife, not going may be likely detrimental to her career. Probably a low risk outing relative to other hazards here.

[nikmar]

i could understand if it was you going on one of these things, but surely, it's up to your wife.

 

I'd enjoy the few days peace if my missis went ????

[Mr Derek]

1 minute ago, nikmar said:

i could understand if it was you going on one of these things, but surely, it's up to your wife.

 

Well, yeah, but if she gets killed, it's effectively the end of my life too.

[AndyFoxy]

4 minutes ago, nikmar said:

i could understand if it was you going on one of these things, but surely, it's up to your wife.

 

I'd enjoy the few days peace if my missis went ????

This. Especially the last part.

[Mr Derek]

4 minutes ago, setbkk said:

A large bank would likely hire compentent van drivers, much more so than tour operators on a budget. I agree with wife, not going may be likely detrimental to her career. Probably a low risk outing relative to other hazards here.

A slightly reassuring thought, but it's all the other road users that are the problem - the ones who are falling asleep, drunk, on drugs, using their phones, speeding like it's a computer game, driving without a license, or simply just mindless idiots. Personally, I don't think I've ever had a road trip of any length without having a near-death experience due to other drivers. 

[nikmar]

17 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Well, yeah, but if she gets killed, it's effectively the end of my life too.

understood - but she runs that risk everytime she goes out.

 

I get your apprehension though. My wife drives a Honda Scoopy about on the Bang na trad rd.

[Boomer6969]

Always loved these events, usually a great opportunity to booboom some new addition to the team.

[Saanim]

That's what the Thai people loves utmost, a travelling with a group (of Thais), much much more than with a husband/wife (non-Thai). 

And the manager loves it either, to burn some money (surely not all available...)  

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Must one really put up with these things? I can't be the only one with these objections. Is there any diplomatic solution? 

I'd be more worried about her banging a coworker than being in a crash!

You could always insist on going with her.

 

Diplomatic solution,

Tell her you're going to stay in Pattaya while she's away.

Edited December 15, 2022 by BritManToo

[jvs]

If she sees it as a treat then why oppose it?

If she does not want to go she could develop a cough?

Don't worry about it too much,not good for your heart.

Let her have some fun with her colleges and just try to relax and do something you like while she is gone.

[proton]

Say you have covid. Bank workers would be better going on a course on how to dispense withdrawals and issuing a new bankbook without waiting for a grumpy middle aged superior to turn up and tapping multiple keyboard keys, knowing what their own codes mean and being able to get their apps working in less than an hour! They don't need to 'bond' they just need to know how to do the job, most act like it's their first week in it.

Edited December 15, 2022 by proton

[Ralf001]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Well, yeah, but if she gets killed, it's effectively the end of my life too.

How does she commute to and from work ?

[Ralf001]

49 minutes ago, Boomer6969 said:

Always loved these events, usually a great opportunity to booboom some new addition to the team.

have managed to fingerbang my way through a lot of the female office staff on these type of trips..

 

alcohol is great !!!

[scubascuba3]

These team building things are usually good days out. If the genuine reason is you don't want your wife to go in a minibus then you either drive her or book a taxi

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

A slightly reassuring thought, but it's all the other road users that are the problem - the ones who are falling asleep, drunk, on drugs, using their phones, speeding like it's a computer game, driving without a license, or simply just mindless idiots. Personally, I don't think I've ever had a road trip of any length without having a near-death experience due to other drivers. 

Your wife has a job and that brings responsibilities. That you can't understand the value of teambuilding is sad but that doesn't give you the right to control your wife in such a matter.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Is there any diplomatic solution? 

Let your wife decide about the part of her life which doesn't involve you.

It will make life easier for both of you.

 

Or in other words: do you really think that all she does should be up to you? How about her diet if she is out? Is the food too spicey and maybe there is too much MSG inside? You know, that is unhealthy, she should change that.

I am sure many other things will come to your mind...

[Mr Derek]

18 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

How does she commute to and from work ?

Public transport into town. Safe because the roads are slow.

 

6 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

These team building things are usually good days out. If the genuine reason is you don't want your wife to go in a minibus then you either drive her or book a taxi

Taxi would only be slightly safer and would cost farsands for three hours each way.

 

30 minutes ago, jvs said:

If she sees it as a treat then why oppose it?

...

Let her have some fun with her colleges and just try to relax and do something you like while she is gone.

 

I oppose it because it's a needless risk for a trivial event and I'm angry that these companies force people to make these pointless and inefficient journeys - no reason why they couldn't do it at some place in town. Also, I don't think Thais pay any heed at all to the fact that their roads are among the most dangerous in the world, so I feel as though I have some responsibility to at least raise the issue.

I don't think she cares about the socialising - she mainly wants to conform.

 

27 minutes ago, proton said:

Say you have covid. Bank workers would be better going on a course on how to dispense withdrawals and issuing a new bankbook without waiting for a grumpy middle aged superior to turn up and tapping multiple keyboard keys, knowing what their own codes mean and being able to get their apps working in less than an hour! They don't need to 'bond' they just need to know how to do the job, most act like it's their first week in it.

Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. 

Totally agree about the pointless bonding sessions. I've had those things forced down my throat in the past and only came away with a longer list of people I disliked. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Well, yeah, but if she gets killed, it's effectively the end of my life too.

It seems you are not so much concerned that she could die (in an accident on the road) but you are concerned about living without her.

Maybe think about that a little.

Or just tell her: What about me when you die? Isn't it your job to care about me until I die?

[Mr Derek]

7 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Your wife has a job and that brings responsibilities. That you can't understand the value of teambuilding is sad but that doesn't give you the right to control your wife in such a matter.

Please. This is about offering potentially life-saving advice. Priorities mate.

[puchooay]

9 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

doesn't give you the right to control your wife in such a matter.

I don't believe he is. He's showing concern, possibly justified. He's certainly not controlling her.

 

 

[scubascuba3]

2 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Public transport into town. Safe because the roads are slow.

 

Taxi would only be slightly safer and would cost farsands for three hours each way.

 

I oppose it because it's a needless risk for a trivial event and I'm angry that these companies force people to make these pointless and inefficient journeys - no reason why they couldn't do it at some place in town. Also, I don't think Thais pay any heed at all to the fact that their roads are among the most dangerous in the world, so I feel as though I have some responsibility to at least raise the issue.

I don't think she cares about the socialising - she mainly wants to conform.

 

Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. 

Totally agree about the pointless bonding sessions. I've had those things forced down my throat in the past and only came away with a longer list of people I disliked. 

I'm thinking you are a control freak, let her go on these things. It won't do you any good

[puchooay]

I went on one of these office trips once.

 

I got really p%$£ed, got off with one of the office girls and had a go at the bosses wife.

 

Never got asked to attend again. 

 

Maybe this could be added to the list of options for the OP and his wife. ????

[FritsSikkink]

5 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. 

Pathetic. 

[FritsSikkink]

5 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Please. This is about offering potentially life-saving advice. Priorities mate.

No, this is about you feeling the need to control your wife. People die from all sorts of things. Make a plan what to do if she isn't there anymore (either passing away or getting enough of a controlling husband).

[FritsSikkink]

10 minutes ago, puchooay said:

I don't believe he is. He's showing concern, possibly justified. He's certainly not controlling her.

 

 

Faking Covid, so she won't go on a trip to a fancy resort with nice food and have fun with her coworkers. 

That sounds caring to you. To me it sounds so scared to die that you don't want to enjoy life or are prepared to let others enjoy life too.

Edited December 15, 2022 by FritsSikkink

[puchooay]

3 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Faking Covid, so she won't go on a trip to a fancy resort with nice food and have fun with her coworkers. 

That sounds caring to you. To me it sounds so scared to die that you don't want to enjoy life or are prepared to let others enjoy life too.

I said he is showing concern. Nothing about caring for her.

 

So please tell me how he is controlling her? That is what you suggested.

[FritsSikkink]

15 minutes ago, puchooay said:

I said he is showing concern. Nothing about caring for her.

 

So please tell me how he is controlling her? That is what you suggested.

He wants to fake covid, so she can't go on a trip. Jeez.

[Mr Derek]

This must be the only thread in the existence of TV/AseanNow where everyone is suddenly saying that Thailand's roads are perfectly safe and that it is fine to make unnecessary journeys in minibuses along highways. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lacessit]

37 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Your wife has a job and that brings responsibilities. That you can't understand the value of teambuilding is sad but that doesn't give you the right to control your wife in such a matter.

Team building is BS. A week after getting back from one of any of those exercises, I'll guarantee only the most anally retentive would remember any of the garbage spouted. After a month, it's a 0.999999999 probability all will be forgotten.

 

These programs occur in cycles of 12 - 18 months, and their purpose is to remind everyone else in an organization that they still have an HR department which can waste company funds effectively.