Pre-need cremation and repatriation services

[HermosaBeachGuy]

So, I'm not getting any younger, and I'm quite alone for the remainder of my days here in Bangkok.

My kids are grown, in the US, and needn't deal with all the bs that I went through with my parents at their ends.

So, I plan on being cremated here, and having my remains shipped back to California to be disposed of.

 

Has anyone got any experience/recommendations for service providers in this regard?  I'm already in touch with AsiaOne and an outfit going by Be Assistance, apparently out of Cairo.  But any/all additional recommendations are appreciated, and if anyone has ACTUAL experience with the process, that would be most valuable.

 

Thanks

 

[Mino]

If you are in touch with AsiaOne Teckhong funeral and cremation, I used it and it's a good company.

[Liverpool Lou]

With all due respect, if you care so little about your demise, why bother with the BS (as you put it) of having your ashes shipped back to the US when they can be disposed of here?

Edited January 4, 2023 by Liverpool Lou

[HermosaBeachGuy]

2 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

With all due respect, if you care so little about your demise, why bother with the BS (as you put it) of having your ashes shipped back to the US when they can be disposed of here?

it's a request of my kids, who also don't adhere to any specific religious tradition.....   I care about them.  I'm just saying that the actual "arrangements" in my family of origin's traditions were "a lot", especially when being done quasi-remotely.   Given what I know about Thai administration, I'm hoping to spare my kids from much more than a notification that I've passed, and arranging to pick up my ashes, or have them delivered.

 

[JimTripper]

On 1/3/2023 at 7:31 PM, Liverpool Lou said:

With all due respect, if you care so little about your demise, why bother with the BS (as you put it) of having your ashes shipped back to the US when they can be disposed of here?

Future generations like to have a marker somewhere. They hear stories or see pictures and wonder who that was and how they might have effected the family. Just completely disappearing off the map is pretty selfish. It’s not just about you.

[Liverpool Lou]

2 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

It’s not just about you.

I didn't say that it was about me.    Anyway, I addressed my comment to the OP (to which he responded) but thanks for sticking your stroppy oar in.

[JimTripper]

34 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

I didn't say that it was about me.    Anyway, I addressed my comment to the OP (to which he responded) but thanks for sticking your stroppy oar in.

You don’t have to say it I can feel it from your comment why you don’t think it would be important.

 

When is the last time you contacted your family? Are you on good terms with them?

[Liverpool Lou]

6 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

43 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

I didn't say that it was about me.    Anyway, I addressed my comment to the OP (to which he responded) but thanks for sticking your stroppy oar in.

You don’t have to say it I can feel it from your comment why you don’t think it would be important.

 

When is the last time you contacted your family? Are you on good terms with them?

"You don’t have to say it I can feel it from your comment..."

You really need to rein in your feelings, then, if that's what you feel. 

 

What the f'ck has my family contact and relationships got to do with you?  To satisfy your impertinent curiosity, though, yesterday and perfectly good terms.   

[DrJack54]

51 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Just completely disappearing off the map is pretty selfish.

Guess that rules out throwing ashes into sea or river in your book. 

You are just another thinking that they know what's "the right way" to do things. 

[Satcommlee]

Talk to your local temple and DHL

[JimTripper]

3 hours ago, DrJack54 said:

Guess that rules out throwing ashes into sea or river in your book. 

You are just another thinking that they know what's "the right way" to do things. 

Scattering at sea is like any other service. Family can be involved or not. I’m pretty sure some sort of plaque is given at the end to survivors.

 

Anything can be the “right way”. The point is were relatives aware of your wishes. If not, it’s selfish because they are left in the dark. The deceased is not concerned about what survivors feel or the legacy left behind.

[JimTripper]

3 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

"You don’t have to say it I can feel it from your comment..."

You really need to rein in your feelings, then, if that's what you feel. 

 

What the f'ck has my family contact and relationships got to do with you?  To satisfy your impertinent curiosity, though, yesterday and perfectly good terms.   

Have you spoken to your family about your repriation should disaster strike? Do you want to ditch everything, photo’s etc or is there something special about just not having a funeral you like?

 

Would a proper service really burden them with Bs, or is it something they would want to do? (Could be more about you just being lazy or selfish).

Edited January 6, 2023 by JimTripper

[DrJack54]

12 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Scattering at sea is like any other service.

Nice sugarcoat. 

Scene of reality. Hopefully the OP will get a laugh. 

https://images.app.goo.gl/fXYPyQB8HbbqSbU39 

[JimTripper]

37 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

Nice sugarcoat. 

Scene of reality. Hopefully the OP will get a laugh. 

https://images.app.goo.gl/fXYPyQB8HbbqSbU39 

Yes, see services are important for survivors even in the funny video. It’s about the feelings of those left behind. It’s not a burden or Bs.

Edited January 6, 2023 by JimTripper

[DrJack54]

4 hours ago, JimTripper said:

When is the last time you contacted your family? Are you on good terms with them?

This is just one snippet from your pearls of wisdom directed to a poster.

Hopefully with your guidance we can all follow your personal road map of the righteous. 

Quite funny really. 

[HermosaBeachGuy]

Wow,  these things do tend to stray, and get personal.  

As to what's "proper", both in terms of perspective and behavior, well, I believe both are entirely subjective, and the cultural and religious bias regarding death and post-death rituals render the opinions of others valueless for me and my family.  

My primary inclinations in this matter stem from the passing of my parents.  Omitting all salient details suffice it to say I emerged from those experiences convinced that watching me breathe my last, and/or dealing with the disposition of my corpse were not memories of me I wanted to exist for my children, with the prominence they do for me vis a vis my parents.

 

Having said that, there were conversations and no opposition at all to my intentions.  I have a couple of favorite spots in Southern California, and I can rely on my kids to make a nice morning or sunset out of emptying the coffee can and bidding me a fond farewell.

 

As to the one remark regarding having some sort of physical touchstone, such as a grave or even a small urn memorial, such as you see in Korea or Japan (here?), I've never understood the value in a post rural culture for such an item, and, given the electronic presence we all have which will unavoidably outlive us, reminders of my very happy, yet in no way significant life, will persist past the point of any interest at all.

 

So, for me, it's all about no muss, no fuss....

 

My relationship with God, and my family is not a constraint on my decisions in any way.

 

 

 

[orang37]

I am nauseated by the disrespect shown to the original poster here who is seeking a meaningful death for both himself and his family.

 

The rude, sarcastic, intrusive, interrogations suggest a real lack of heartedness by the writers, a festering sociopathy that cannot tolerate the expression of vulnerability without a knee-jerk response of lashing out.

 

I wish I were surprised by the public cruelty of expats on the internet, but, living here for years, I expect it.

[Jaybott]

There's another alternative available in the USA, not sure about Thailand you could try, Human Composting.  It takes about three months to fully compost a human body from what I've read.  It sounds a bit weird to me but I guess it's another option.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/07/world/human-composting-natural-organic-reduction-scn-lbg/index.html#:~:text=Human composting — also known as,or donated to conservation land.

 

Takes "Going Green" to a whole new level.  Your spirit may end up in a papaya salad one day.

[wwest5829]

On 1/6/2023 at 2:27 PM, JimTripper said:

Future generations like to have a marker somewhere. They hear stories or see pictures and wonder who that was and how they might have effected the family. Just completely disappearing off the map is pretty selfish. It’s not just about you.

Ah, I can only speak for myself (with a bit of history background). Give it a couple of generations and the reality is most all our forebears lives are forgotten. Might call upon those who reflect to consider the question … what meaning has it ultimately?

[Red Forever]

On 1/6/2023 at 2:27 PM, JimTripper said:

Future generations like to have a marker somewhere. They hear stories or see pictures and wonder who that was and how they might have effected the family. Just completely disappearing off the map is pretty selfish. It’s not just about you.

Yes, it's very selfish to die isn't it?

Best advice here is to get a friend here to place ashes in plastic bag, put bag in box, take to Thai Post. When asked what box contains tell the clerk ornamental jewellery with value 200 baht.

Job done.

When you're gone you're gone.

[wwest5829]

On 1/7/2023 at 6:28 PM, HermosaBeachGuy said:

Wow,  these things do tend to stray, and get personal.  

As to what's "proper", both in terms of perspective and behavior, well, I believe both are entirely subjective, and the cultural and religious bias regarding death and post-death rituals render the opinions of others valueless for me and my family.  

My primary inclinations in this matter stem from the passing of my parents.  Omitting all salient details suffice it to say I emerged from those experiences convinced that watching me breathe my last, and/or dealing with the disposition of my corpse were not memories of me I wanted to exist for my children, with the prominence they do for me vis a vis my parents.

 

Having said that, there were conversations and no opposition at all to my intentions.  I have a couple of favorite spots in Southern California, and I can rely on my kids to make a nice morning or sunset out of emptying the coffee can and bidding me a fond farewell.

 

As to the one remark regarding having some sort of physical touchstone, such as a grave or even a small urn memorial, such as you see in Korea or Japan (here?), I've never understood the value in a post rural culture for such an item, and, given the electronic presence we all have which will unavoidably outlive us, reminders of my very happy, yet in no way significant life, will persist past the point of any interest at all.

 

So, for me, it's all about no muss, no fuss....

 

My relationship with God, and my family is not a constraint on my decisions in any way.

 

 

 

Thank you for your thoughtful post.

[wwest5829]

My Mother shared her thoughts verbally and put it in writing. No viewing, no funeral. As her eldest Son and with my Father hospitalized from the car accident which took my Mother and Godmothers’ lives, I carried out her wishes. She was cremated. My Uncle, her Brother was not happy and said to me that she, “deserved better”. When Dad passed, his wish was to be cremated and his ashes mixed with those of Mom. My Brother and I carried out his wish, both crying and laughing as we got out the Kitchenaid mixer and blended to ashes. Those ashes have been scattered from Kentucky, New Jersey and some sprinkled among the roses at one of their favorite locations in Florida. As to our lives, the publicly available records have documented our lives in the modern era. My genealogy records mark the lives of forbears back to the end on the Medieval period in Europe. The bones and grave markers are mostly long gone.

Edited January 10, 2023 by wwest5829

[DJ54]

OP is good your taking care of matters and making it easier on family members. My youngest sister

(5 siblings) took care everything when my father passed on…  it was emotionally and physically tasking and she hopes she doesn’t have to go through it again .. it’s not she doesn’t care but it’s difficult to grieve at the same time. I’ve let my children know my plans when the time comes and both understand… some posters best to ignore… 

[Sheryl]

I highly recommend

 

https://www.amarinternational.com/

 

(formerly Allison Monkhouse).

 

Your children will need to sign a certificate of next of kin for the Embassy then authorize for your remains to be turned over. I think form is available on Embassy website.

[EVENKEEL]

On the practical side, Will Report of Death Abroad be needed stateside for wills and such? Why not have a family member make the trip to Thailand to make sure all required paperwork is obtained and they can carry ashes back in a temporary urn so it's not so heavy.

[Makoshark]

I'm in the same situation.  Kids are grown and I see them 2x a year for 1 month.

 

I'm going to FedEx my ashes to NYC.

 

Cheapest way.

 

 

[EVENKEEL]

5 minutes ago, Makoshark said:

I'm in the same situation.  Kids are grown and I see them 2x a year for 1 month.

 

I'm going to FedEx my ashes to NYC.

 

Cheapest way.

 

 

Is this a start to finish service, including all the paperwork?

[Makoshark]

No.  

 

My Thai friend will make the arrangements to be cremated.  Once cremated, he'll box me up, and forward me to my daughter

 

 

[HermosaBeachGuy]

On 1/11/2023 at 10:03 AM, Makoshark said:

I'm in the same situation.  Kids are grown and I see them 2x a year for 1 month.

 

I'm going to FedEx my ashes to NYC.

 

Cheapest way.

 

 

yes, but there's still a bureaucracy regarding notifications, i.e. local police/hospital, actual funeral home/crematorium, US Embassy, and transport service.   Fed Ex isn't going to do that.  And that's all the rigmarole that I'm seeking to spare my kids from having to sort out at that time.  BTW, I'm going with Asiaone.  The pricing is very comparable among those I've contacted, and they seem the most professional.  Anyway, I've done my best.  If it gets <deleted> up, I won't be there to worry about it anymore.

 

[Makoshark]

Do you have an email address for AsiaOne OR a support line?  I have an attorney there who can advise me as well