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Should tell him? Or not?


Goat

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24 minutes ago, Goat said:

But you must pay. So i dont think the prostitutes really like it with the customers. If so it will be free right? 

Like most people. They get sex for free. Only pay if married.

Correct, specifically if you are like me and hung like a baboon. 

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Definitely tell him. I have told several. Most get mad at me and I'm the evil one. But at least I can sleep at night knowing I tried to help, but the idiot didn't listen.  I parted ways with most of them because it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. If I see them I just ask so how much did she get out of you this month??? And I don't need that in my life here. 

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Taking ones time to get to know someone, exercising prudence, making sure someone is worthy of your devotion and support, and being patient is a real mans game. It is done by someone with a high degree of self respect and self love. Some desperados just don't have it in them. 

 

You could caution him. But, it is likely he is simply in the too deep, at this point. You have to behave correctly and wisely from the beginning. I know guys who have lost their life savings on a foolish woman. But, who was the fool, really? 

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I knew an extremely rich Brit in Thailand back in 2000/03 who married a bargirl and had a kid. Bought 2 bars etc. They split up because she lost over 15,million Baht gambling, which he paid off, then tossed her out.
Bought her a house and set her up with a restaurant and car, he kept the kid. 
Got himself a new girlfriend and was going through divorce. His wife knew she would lose a lot of money so her and her brother lured him out into the sticks in a pretext and murdered him. Got caught and sent to prison. 
 

I had spoke to him 3 days before and he told me she was always trouble where money was concerned, but he didn’t realise just how much trouble until it was too late. 
 

As for your friend, keep out of it, he won’t thank you and she won’t give a <deleted>. 

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It is all laughable.

A bargirl is a prostitute in the negative way, however a woman in porn movies is an actress.

So the only difference is , the bargirl doesnt make a movie.

Therefor she is a prostitute. So she should make movies then with her cam?

There are woman in mariage, they cheat on their husband, he pays and she goes out and get some. There are now today even dating sites for married or in relation being persons to have sex beside relation, with a stranger. Maybe also get paid then?

Go to a porn website and see how many women are having paid sex, all actresses.

Looks like you have big chances nowadays to meet such a person and then what?

 

Saw in a docu, there are girls, getting paid to spend money! Especially in the rich sector.

A girl or woman gets a total free vacation on cost of client and the client just gets... nothing.

Only bills and not even get any sex! Maybe he is lucky when he has a dinner with her.

But sex? Nope, unless she might think otherwise and gets horny on you, but then maybe has to pay extra.

Then i think that guy is stupid ! But what is stupid these days?

Only you decide yourself what is stupid.

 

Stupid for me is now, getting married! Is there any woman you really would do that for?

Kids? It could be, she is taking them away from you, just like that. You are only left with bills.

My advise today to all guys, never get married!

 

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5 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

It is all laughable.

A bargirl is a prostitute in the negative way, however a woman in porn movies is an actress.

So the only difference is , the bargirl doesnt make a movie.

Therefor she is a prostitute. So she should make movies then with her cam?

There are woman in mariage, they cheat on their husband, he pays and she goes out and get some. There are now today even dating sites for married or in relation being persons to have sex beside relation, with a stranger. Maybe also get paid then?

Go to a porn website and see how many women are having paid sex, all actresses.

Looks like you have big chances nowadays to meet such a person and then what?

 

Saw in a docu, there are girls, getting paid to spend money! Especially in the rich sector.

A girl or woman gets a total free vacation on cost of client and the client just gets... nothing.

Only bills and not even get any sex! Maybe he is lucky when he has a dinner with her.

But sex? Nope, unless she might think otherwise and gets horny on you, but then maybe has to pay extra.

Then i think that guy is stupid ! But what is stupid these days?

Only you decide yourself what is stupid.

 

Stupid for me is now, getting married! Is there any woman you really would do that for?

Kids? It could be, she is taking them away from you, just like that. You are only left with bills.

My advise today to all guys, never get married!

 

A good reason to marry, is if you meet a best friend, who you share equal feelings with, and enjoy each other company, and when not together miss each other! 

 

Being alone is not a scenario for me, but I would choose alone over a bad relationship! Nothing is more toxic than a bad relationship. But really, it as much up to me as the other part to make it work, so it is good chances ro find someone I described.

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7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

A good reason to marry, is if you meet a best friend, who you share equal feelings with, and enjoy each other company, and when not together miss each other! 

 

Being alone is not a scenario for me, but I would choose alone over a bad relationship! Nothing is more toxic than a bad relationship. But really, it as much up to me as the other part to make it work, so it is good chances ro find someone I described.

Yup, at that time, you think, i got it ! But then time moves on and see there is a change in point of view. It is like a slow (or some times even fast) poison getting in. At least my experience.

I thought we were doing real well with 2 kids in the yard in our fine house. But no, i was wrong.

 

Also thought living alone isnt my thing, but i do since 1997. Any other attempt to change that, ended up in little cracks to a big crack. So that brings me up to, marriage as you described, is a utopia. Saw many utopia's going down, but must say i envy the people who has that sort of utopia working.

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5 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

Yup, at that time, you think, i got it ! But then time moves on and see there is a change in point of view. It is like a slow (or some times even fast) poison getting in. At least my experience.

I thought we were doing real well with 2 kids in the yard in our fine house. But no, i was wrong.

 

Also thought living alone isnt my thing, but i do since 1997. Any other attempt to change that, ended up in little cracks to a big crack. So that brings me up to, marriage as you described, is a utopia. Saw many utopia's going down, but must say i envy the people who has that sort of utopia working.

Well, we all have out own experiences, and I can only talk for myself.

 

I think the older we get, we also have to be able to change and also know how to be the man they expect us to be, but again, their expectations can shoot way over our head. Which leads us to know what their expectations really is. 

 

Adopt as well evolve and mature together. Be willing to learn from our mistakes is another factor! 

 

If this doesnt work out, I will try again, no doubt about it or need to think twice about it. 

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21 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

Learned the lesson in 7th grade. repeated something I was told by a mutual acquaintance,   ... I ended up without a gf. ah, well ... we live and learn.

Oh so true. I once had a platonic relationship with the most wonderful woman I ever met, and when she asked me a personal question I answered truthfully, and ended up being an enemy by the next morning.

Lesson learned- never tell them what they don't want to hear.

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10 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Taking ones time to get to know someone, exercising prudence, making sure someone is worthy of your devotion and support, and being patient is a real mans game. It is done by someone with a high degree of self respect and self love. Some desperados just don't have it in them. 

 

You could caution him. But, it is likely he is simply in the too deep, at this point. You have to behave correctly and wisely from the beginning. I know guys who have lost their life savings on a foolish woman. But, who was the fool, really? 

You always say things like that, but I did all that and it still didn't last. It's just blind luck IMO, if one finds the real perfect girl for a life time together.

No one marries with the intention of hating them.

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18 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

you sound very naïve

 

17 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

You obviously have no concept of women

says the guy who married a bar girl.

Irony.

 

17 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

something tells me that your an Electrical Engineer or something along those lines

something tells me you live in a small Issan village. Perhaps the only foreigner there, can not converse with the local population and as a result are quite socially isolated, probably have a bee in your bonnet about 'Thai men" who largely ignore you/dont include you, apart from your wife's relatives who drag you along to pay for everything?

Maybe not.

 

This is what i will be warning our 'freind' about. 

 

Anyway, best of luck with it all.

 

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18 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

You obviously have no concept of women or Thailand, or how it works, something tells me that your an Electrical Engineer or something along those lines, i.e. someone who cannot see things for what they are outside of them creating their own reality.

What's wrong with an electrical engineer? Try living in a world without them!

You sound like you went to uni and think tradespeople are inferior beings.

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7 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:
15 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Why?  Rationally.

They'll get more attention than the farang. Thais tend to dote on sons.   

So nothing rational, then?  Anecdotal, isolated incidences don't mean anything in the context of wildly general assertions.

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38 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:
40 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

So nothing rational, then?  Anecdotal, isolated incidences don't mean anything in the context of wildly general assertions.

Rationality has no bearing on relationships. We are creatures ruled by emotions, not being Vulcans.

Quite right, but, then, my comment was not referring to relationships!   Rationality should have a huge bearing on what is posted in a forum for rational discussion.

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19 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

I really feel sorry for some people who don't get it, but in your case, I don't.

 

You obviously have no concept of women or Thailand, or how it works, something tells me that your an Electrical Engineer or something along those lines, i.e. someone who cannot see things for what they are outside of them creating their own reality.

 

It also sounds like you got burnt by a bar girl and can't get over it, well, get it over it.

sorry but I think from a lot of my mates experience Goat is mostly right on this one ..I'm not a Thai basher..I have a Thai wife ..but have seena lot of my mates get scammed and F over by these girls ..just stating a point H

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1 hour ago, Goat said:

 

says the guy who married a bar girl.

Irony.

 

something tells me you live in a small Issan village. Perhaps the only foreigner there, can not converse with the local population and as a result are quite socially isolated, probably have a bee in your bonnet about 'Thai men" who largely ignore you/dont include you, apart from your wife's relatives who drag you along to pay for everything?

Maybe not.

 

This is what i will be warning our 'freind' about. 

 

Anyway, best of luck with it all.

 

Definition bar girl or prostitute is not set.

 

A bar girl can be one who searching for a better life and a quick solution is meeting people where they are in tourist areas, and not spend time on internet searching for prince charming. Often leading to meeting guys who just want sex anyway for free.

 

And you have bar girls who do short time and working hard for making money and party hard. From one end to another there is a range of different girls, and not any different from many of the good girls out there. At least what some think is good girls. 

 

Just pure stupidity to claim you have a good girl if they claim thay are not line that, and also think you have better girls than any other. Most girls with a falang, searched the marked to find one, and the biggest lie good girls say, Im not like that, which of course also can be the truth, but you will never know before she probed her self.

 

I know of very few or any who had bad luck with ladies here in Thailand, but I know quite a few who cheated on their wife's, and also dumped a midle age lady, for having a younger one.

 

It all depends who you frequently socializing with, and together with our own experiences make statements as the only truth's 

 

Anyway, golden rule is god speed, and do not spend more than you can afford to walk away from! Two simple reminders! 

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1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Why?  Rationally.

my wife has a son from a previous marriage..he was 3 when we met he is now 11 ..I also have a son with his mother ..these 2 brothers are as close as any one can be both my son's..as I've always been dad to both ..total incorrect what you said perhaps you have had a bad experience.. if so I'm sorry I'm just stating my relationship..

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1 minute ago, Harveyboy said:
1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Why?  Rationally.

my wife has a son from a previous marriage..he was 3 when we met he is now 11 ..I also have a son with his mother ..these 2 brothers are as close as any one can be both my son's..as I've always been dad to both ..total incorrect what you said perhaps you have had a bad experience.. if so I'm sorry I'm just stating my relationship..

You need to read the comment to which I responded properly,  I made no reference to my having "a bad experience".

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2 minutes ago, Harveyboy said:

my wife has a son from a previous marriage..he was 3 when we met he is now 11 ..I also have a son with his mother ..these 2 brothers are as close as any one can be both my son's..as I've always been dad to both ..total incorrect what you said perhaps you have had a bad experience.. if so I'm sorry I'm just stating my relationship..

hey Lou why the laughing face you on the grog again ..or perhaps it's the difficulty in understanding English ...I can always put it in capital letters in Crayon if you want 

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Tell him for the business part he need a big fortune to make a small one + if he stops being able to splash money on her, as soon basically leaving the job and moving to the middle of nowhere, she will ditch him just a few years later. Or take loans on the house and land.

 

He is still in time to leave her, even it costed him a lot. But yeah, they will always still do it and then cry.

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