How to deal with an overwhelmingly negative opinion of Thai people.

[NanLaew]

22 minutes ago, scorecard said:

22 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Well you did bring it up after all.

trolling, bye.

No I'm not. The OP brought it up.

Pay attention.

 

1 hour ago, bogs smith said:

you mean apart from the financial one? 

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, Felton Jarvis said:

This is not the place to live if you are looking for sincerity and true love.

But Pattaya's OK if you're into golfing.

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, Pouatchee said:

sure thing. i know what you are describing well. only thing here is most guys think they are above it all and blind to their own surroundings. there is a good reason why many have said that they left thailand with as many friends as they came here with. i love being here, but it is not for the people. i have made a better life for myself here in 20 years than 40 back home. big difference between us, op, is i dont like to be with anyone except my wife. i am a lone wolf

Sounds just like @stereolab

[NanLaew]

57 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

he was honest. unlike the other posters. i dont care what side of the fence a person is on. honesty is all that matters to me. 

 

people who go through their lives here and think its nothing but glitter and fairytales are liars. 

How long have you lived in this blighted realm? I mean actually lived full-time and excluding any previous vacations, 2-week millionaire stopovers and other non-enlightening events? You sound like a disenchanted noob (with issues).

Edited June 26, 2023 by NanLaew

[Purdey]

1 hour ago, proton said:

Your wife wont hold your hand in public because people might think she's on the game, maybe it's more that you look like a sex tourist, do you walk around in those cargo shorts and singlets? ????

Never. Except when cycling in the park. The Thais are self conscious. Also, there is an amount of racism arising from tarring all white skinned foreigners as sexual predators. The OP needs to understand the negative history and overcome it with polite Thai and friendly smiles. 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

5 hours ago, bogs smith said:

I would like to kindly ask that everyone please read my post thoroughly and comphrehend everything that I am saying before making any rash judgements. 

"...please read my post thoroughly and comphrehend everything..."

That is wishful thinking as there are only Asean Now members here!

Edited June 26, 2023 by Liverpool Lou

[bob smith]

7 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

How long have you lived in this blighted realm? I mean actually lived full-time and excluding any previous vacations, 2-week millionaire stopovers and other non-enlightening events? You sound like a disenchanted noob (with issues).

‘noob’? 

 

think you better lay off the video games ‘bro’. 

[NanLaew]

7 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

‘noob’? 

 

think you better lay off the video games ‘bro’. 

So you can't answer a simple question 'dude'?

 

That's fine.

[Harsh Jones]

Just leave. Are you stuck there?  There is a lot of embarrassing and strange farangs in Thailand. I can understand why they dont think too highly of farangs

[Myran]

I've never experienced this behavior. It sounds like a mix of delusion, oversensitivity, and confirmation bias on your part. The few foreigners I've seen treated with some sort of disdain by Thai people where themselves acting anti-socially or entitled in some way.

[richard_smith237]

3 hours ago, Dan O said:

Nowhere in what you wrote shows any discrimination so you may want to review your thoughts.

 

It seems more like your focused on negative actions to the point that anything that happens you automatically associate it to discrimnation against you.

 

Focus on your own actions and don't worry about what others do as they may be reacting for different reasons than your imagining. 

This is a good response.... 

 

Thai's are not racist, they don't have any underlying dislike of foreigners.

Thai's, like anyone else are simply indifferent to others around them, that includes foreigners. 

 

In 'some' areas, perhaps those areas of a higher tourist footfall where those tourists have a stronger reputation for being poorly behaved and where those Thai's in the area are there purely to extract as much money as possible from the tourism industry there may be a lack of mutual respect when lends itself to the impression that Thai's do not like foreigners. 

 

Additionally, in other areas where there is far less footfall of foreigners there are greater cultural and language issues with lend to Thai's being shy, fearful or simply having a preference to avoid a 'potentially hassled' interaction with a foreigner with whom they will struggle to communicate. 

 

Finally, thick skin... people just do dumb stuff, not all, but some... its unfair to tar all Thai's with the same brush.... in eradicating that attitude and looking for the 'innocence and charm'  instead of the 'incompetence and childishness' your attitudes (op) may improve and in-doing so you may be treated with something a little better than harmless indifference. 

 

Like anyone else, Thai's have intuition and if you don't like a person, they can tell and respond in kind - it really is just that simple. 

 

[Harsh Jones]

4 hours ago, bogs smith said:

so personal appearance takes precedance over basic human decency? 

 

are people really that shallow here??

Of course. If you don't take care of yourself, ppl aren't going to respect you in public

[richard_smith237]

1 minute ago, Myran said:

I've never experienced this behavior. It sounds like a mix of delusion, oversensitivity, and confirmation bias on your part. The few foreigners I've seen treated with some sort of disdain by Thai people where themselves acting anti-socially or entitled in some way.

Yup... this also sums things up well..   I suspect location may also make a difference. 

 

In places such as Bangkok where there are more 'working' westerners, we are simply treated 'very normally'.....   it may be different way out in the sticks when living there for a long time. 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

1 minute ago, Harsh Jones said:

4 hours ago, bogs smith said:

so personal appearance takes precedance over basic human decency? 

 

are people really that shallow here??

Of course. If you don't take care of yourself, ppl aren't going to respect you in public

Agreed... thats basic common sense. 

 

Look like an unwashed piece of stinky dirt and people will avoid you. 

Conversely, look fresh and clean and dress within social norm (i.e. no vest tops in the Bank etc) and treatment will be more 'normal'..... 

 

I also wonder if some Westerners 'expect' the 'special' treatment everywhere they go, so when they are treated with the standard indifference Thai's treat each other they take it negatively. 

 

[alien365]

4 hours ago, proton said:

Also in tops food court a woman actually moved the two small adjoining tables apart, when she went to get something I moved them back.

I'd have thought this was her being polite, giving you your own space. Alternatively she may have been worried that others thought you were a couple.

[proton]

4 hours ago, h90 said:

Review yourself.....bad clothes? Smelly? Political TShirt?

It never happened to me....Actually I only see cheerful people.

On the other hand, with your table experience, I would not notice it, I would not think anything and if I would think they would like to sit closer to the AC or window or something. I would not think it has anything to do with me.

You only see cheerful people? with their massive house hold debts and many on 500 baht a day! either everyone is on drugs or you have some good rose coloured specs. Do you reside in a place well known for fake smiles where they call you handsome man all the time? ????

[Reginald Prewster]

I am since 2002 here and it almost escalated in me the same...

I had very often coming in my mind: "You freaking Idiot" and could really use it for every in my opinion not suitable situation, which brought me out of my comfort zone... 

 

The way I changed was to remember whenever you point a finger on somebody the other 4 finger will point towards you.

Then I went defensive first against all the Farang Pub talks about "these Thais" which really was a growing reflection of myself that I hated like you now.

 

I ended up thinking about why and how much other Farangs influenced me by their negative attitude.. 

 

I am sure everyone can feel tension building up, that they are not comfortable with you near them.. 

I was starting involving the Thais around me as soon I was there.

 

The moment you approach be open, smile, signal a little but decent bow and have a joke ready...

I pressured myself to behave and give the little extra... (But right in the first moment I approach)

 

The only free seat.. 

A decent bow down and Khothos Krub (sorry Sir/M'am) Can I sit here too? ...and smile.

Restaurant table:

Sorry, decent bow, SMILE, have you more people coming or can i sit here, Krub...

In both situations they are cornered due to your friendly approach, so they cannot stand up and leave to the next table or the seat beside you...  

Then hook a joke behind... 

Maybe, I want to eat Gung disco, Krub, but only when the shrimps are fried hahahaha...  

"Gung Disco" is my favorite because everyone know "Gung" and "Disco", (living shrimps in spicy veggies)...

The Thais break into tears laughing and you are the nice Farang...

 

After 22 years I still do not speak proper Thai, but the Thais around me speak also not or no proper English, so we can understand each other.

But these are my people, my family, my Lads and we spend every day together... 

 

Counterside of it:

30 Kilometer is a German Restaurant and he does really good food, they have a Sunday gathering

The usual Sunday roast "beer and chat" and I got asked many times to come.. 

In the past I came often, but because of those "who lost all to a Thai" (They are everywhere)

I made it this winter in 5 month 1 time because, I feel more comfortable under "my people"...

....and do not want to be persuaded that he didn't cheat, or drink too much, or was an ingnorant pr*ck so that the "wife" (or personal dependant) avoided to visit other Thais with him.... 

 

@bogs smith so it looks for me that I went over the border of the other side, by meaning I lost my sympathy for Farangs, because some or many of them behave as an axe in the forest,

But I must admit, this is definitely also not good.

 

The photo shows a BBQ with all generations together after our every day chores and there is not the smallest sign of tension. The only related person is my wife, the rest are my closest friends since long years... 

Edited June 26, 2023 by Reginald Prewster

[proton]

18 minutes ago, alien365 said:

I'd have thought this was her being polite, giving you your own space. Alternatively she may have been worried that others thought you were a couple.

No it was nothing like that with her look and attitude and what she said to her son about foreigners, you would have to have been there, I was. 

[proton]

1 minute ago, Reginald Prewster said:

I am since 2002 here and it almost escalated in me the same...

I had very often coming in my mind: "You freaking Idiot" and could really use it for every in my opinion not suitable situation, which brought me out of my comfort zone... 

 

The way I changed was to remember whenever you point a finger on somebody the other 4 finger will point towards you.

Then I went defensive first against all the Farang Pub talks about "these Thais" which rellay was a growing reflection of myself which I hated like you now.

 

I ended up thinking about why and how much other Farangs influenced me by their negative attitude.. 

 

I am sure everyone can feel tension building up, that they are not comfortable with you near them.. 

I was starting involving the Thais around me as soon I was there.

 

The moment you approach be open, smile, signal a little but decent bow and have a joke ready...

I pressured myself to behave and give the little extra... (But right in the first moment I approach)

 

The only free seat.. 

A decent bow down and Khothos Krub (sorry Sir/M'am) Can I sit here too? ...and smile.

Restaurant table:

Sorry, decent bow, SMILE, have you more people coming or can i sit here, Krub...

In both situations they are cornered due to your friendly approach, so they cannot stand up and leave to the next table or the seat beside you...  

Then hook a joke behind... 

Maybe, I want to eat Gung disco, Krub, but only when the shrimps are fried hahahaha...  

"Gung Disco" is my favorite because everyone know "Gung" and "Disco", (living shrimps in spicy veggies)...

The Thais break into tears laughing and you are the nice Farang...

 

After 22 years I still do not speak proper Thai, but the Thais around me speak also not or no proper English, so we can understand each other.

But these are my people, my family, my Lads and we spend every day together... 

 

Counterside of it:

30 Kilometer is a German Restaurant and he does really good food, they have a Sunday gathering

The usual Sunday roast "beer and chat" and I got asked many times to come.. 

In the past I came often, but because of those "who lost all to a Thai" (They are everywhere)

I made it this winter in 5 month 1 time because, I feel more comfortable under "my people"...

....and do not want to be persuaded that he didn't cheat, or drink too much, or was an ingnorant pr*ck so that the "wife" (or personal dependant) avoided to visit other Thais with him.... 

 

@bogs smith so it looks for me that I went over the border of the other side, by meaning I lost my sympathy for Farangs, because some or many of them behave as an axe in the forest,

But I must admit, this is definitely also not good.

 

The photo shows a BBQ with all generations together after our every day chores and there is not the smallest sign of tension. The only related person is my wife, the rest are my closest friends since long years... 

Drinking Leo 'beer' at a German restaurant, disgraceful ????

[Bill97]

Go Fund Me page set up to get this guy out of here.

[bob smith]

8 minutes ago, Reginald Prewster said:

I am since 2002 here and it almost escalated in me the same...

I had very often coming in my mind: "You freaking Idiot" and could really use it for every in my opinion not suitable situation, which brought me out of my comfort zone... 

 

The way I changed was to remember whenever you point a finger on somebody the other 4 finger will point towards you.

Then I went defensive first against all the Farang Pub talks about "these Thais" which really was a growing reflection of myself that I hated like you now.

 

I ended up thinking about why and how much other Farangs influenced me by their negative attitude.. 

 

I am sure everyone can feel tension building up, that they are not comfortable with you near them.. 

I was starting involving the Thais around me as soon I was there.

 

The moment you approach be open, smile, signal a little but decent bow and have a joke ready...

I pressured myself to behave and give the little extra... (But right in the first moment I approach)

 

The only free seat.. 

A decent bow down and Khothos Krub (sorry Sir/M'am) Can I sit here too? ...and smile.

Restaurant table:

Sorry, decent bow, SMILE, have you more people coming or can i sit here, Krub...

In both situations they are cornered due to your friendly approach, so they cannot stand up and leave to the next table or the seat beside you...  

Then hook a joke behind... 

Maybe, I want to eat Gung disco, Krub, but only when the shrimps are fried hahahaha...  

"Gung Disco" is my favorite because everyone know "Gung" and "Disco", (living shrimps in spicy veggies)...

The Thais break into tears laughing and you are the nice Farang...

 

After 22 years I still do not speak proper Thai, but the Thais around me speak also not or no proper English, so we can understand each other.

But these are my people, my family, my Lads and we spend every day together... 

 

Counterside of it:

30 Kilometer is a German Restaurant and he does really good food, they have a Sunday gathering

The usual Sunday roast "beer and chat" and I got asked many times to come.. 

In the past I came often, but because of those "who lost all to a Thai" (They are everywhere)

I made it this winter in 5 month 1 time because, I feel more comfortable under "my people"...

....and do not want to be persuaded that he didn't cheat, or drink too much, or was an ingnorant pr*ck so that the "wife" (or personal dependant) avoided to visit other Thais with him.... 

 

@bogs smith so it looks for me that I went over the border of the other side, by meaning I lost my sympathy for Farangs, because some or many of them behave as an axe in the forest,

But I must admit, this is definitely also not good.

 

The photo shows a BBQ with all generations together after our every day chores and there is not the smallest sign of tension. The only related person is my wife, the rest are my closest friends since long years... 

who got the fags and the beers in? was it you or the fella in the cap?

[h90]

12 minutes ago, proton said:

You only see cheerful people? with their massive house hold debts and many on 500 baht a day! either everyone is on drugs or you have some good rose coloured specs. Do you reside in a place well known for fake smiles where they call you handsome man all the time? ????

OK only cheerful people is bit too much....Not much fake smiles and no handsome man here....not a tourist area....But beside very few people everyone is polite and friendly. And the few unfriendly people they are unfriendly to everyone, not only me.

[Furioso]

A lot of Thai's are unhappy, and rightly so they're getting effed..HARD. I'm thankful to be here, I try to make it a little easier on them. Lot's of helpful suggestions in this thread.

 

They may not like falangs but if you wear your mask they will at least respect you. 

[huangnon]

When you just relax and stop worrying about what people think about you, life gets a whole lot easier.

 

In the meantime, dress well and don't make aggressive body language.

[onthedarkside]

An unsourced image has been removed that was additionally breaking this rule:

 

4. You will not express disrespect of the King of Thailand or any member of the Thai royal family whether living or deceased. You will not criticize the monarchy as an institution. Speculation, comments or discussion of either a political or personal nature are not allowed when discussing His Majesty The King of Thailand or the Thai royal family. You will not link to or discuss any website which breaches this rule.

[Albaby]

5 hours ago, proton said:

Had the bus moving seats happen, in fact one guy moved twice after I moved into the seat he vacated as mine was broken, as soon as he realised he moved again. Also in tops food court a woman actually moved the two small adjoining tables apart, when she went to get something I moved them back. . I have had people telling me to go back home and a crazy women in Big C ranting about farangs, never saw her before. All these incidents were years ago, nothing to do with smells so that excuse wont wash.

My most annoying peeve with Thais is their lack of awareness of what goes on around them, like they are in a world of their own, partly the reason for the traffic statistics. People standing in doorways or at the foot of escalators is a classic. Mrs will be walking behind and just nip into a shop forgetting to say anything. Yesterday group of people we were giving a lift to from a concert just wandered off without looking where we were and lost a lift home, dozy buggers, but TIT. !

I'll be buggered, my Mrs to a T, lost count of the number of times I've had to pull her out of other people's way. Weird. Away with the pixies. Coincidentally, experienced my first incidence of rudeness/racism? yesterday. replacing True wireless with AIS fibre, team of 3 young blokes, the one who led in, simply ignored my greeting, looked past me and said hello to my wife. Any questions,he addressed the reply to my wife. Flabbergasted. Almost made me sorry I'd retired the sjambok. Just kidding????

[Hummin]

It is quite simple, look back on our own history of imigrants arriving in our home countries. Thais is just as us, but it is how we take it personally. 

 

Especially during covid, I had a few incidents same as you, but now? Not as I care to register, because positive interactions outweigh the negatives. 

 

well, we got a couple we hang out with occasionally, who are Isaan couple who worked themselves up in the system, and become a bit hi so with hi so customers (Restaurant chef and graphic designer), we are not their first choice to publish on social media, and I can understand it, and I know where it comes from. Maybe they just want to keep our relation purely private, and highlight their more famed customers for business sake, I do not know, but nothing I care to think to much about.  

 

Unfortunate, westerns have been doing to much <deleted> for to long time, and we are not as accepted as we would like think we are. 

 

Spain is an good example of how much locals love the tourists these days, and I understand them

[cjinchiangrai]

Everyone here has been super nice to me. Just say hello and wai a little. I am the only falang for miles so I am a bit of a novelty but so far so good. 

[GinBoy2]

Maybe some of us have a higher tolerance to it.

 

Thai's discriminate within their own country. My wife grew up and educated in the US, but as obviously Lao will be looked down upon by BKK Thai's.

I'm Hispanic and I can be looked down upon in a whiter than white lily white State in the US.

 

If you are brought up in an environment like that, you sorta grow thick skin.

 

I couldn't give a rats ass what Thai folks think about me or my wife. Most of them assume you don't speak Thai, I do and have heard some pretty appalling comments sitting on Skytrain.

 

Do I care? No

Can I even be bothered to response? On occasions but mostly I just roll my eyes and think 'moron'

[alien365]

30 minutes ago, proton said:

No it was nothing like that with her look and attitude and what she said to her son about foreigners, you would have to have been there, I was. 

In that case I'd have done something similar. When I meet people like that I generally respond in one of two ways. I shake my head in disappointment and say in Thai that they are impolite, or I give them the same disgusted look back. The former usually gets them to feel bad about their actions whereas the second one annoys them.