Divorce and runaway kids

[BritManToo]

Just now, kingkenny said:

I have read both your posts. I am not sure how doing the correct thing is rocking the boat. In 19 years I have had 2 dealings with the courts, both successful, both related to employees. It's the fear of doing the correct thing that allows the bad apples to function. 

Splitting up siblings merely because you want a VISA doesn't seem like 'doing the correct thing' to me.

Anyway, kid will be 15 next week, so nothing you can do, or any Thai authority will enforce, after that.

[kingkenny]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Splitting up siblings merely because you want a VISA doesn't seem like 'doing the correct thing' to me.

Anyway, kid will be 15 next week, so nothing you can do, or any Thai authority will enforce, after that.

You said this on page 1, I already countered that, please read below, this is factual:

 

The child is subject to parental control of the parents until the child is legally determined to be an adult. Adulthood occurs when the child reaches the age of majority which is 20 years old in Thailand or when the child gets married. Until this time, parents have rights and obligations to their child.

In this instance the father has legal custody of the child. 

[kingkenny]

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

Yes

No. I think it should happen, but I don't think it needs to happen. 

If the father instructs who? While the mother is obligated to follow that law, she is not compelled to follow the father's instructions. Do we agree on this? 

If law requires the mother drag the child out to the car and deliver them to the husband against the child's will any time the husband instructs her to do so, then yes, that is not how I understand the law. 

How would you block her access in the future, if your boys were fifteen, and kept going to visit her on the way to school? 

So how is the issue solved without any cooperation from the mother? 

I do not doubt if the law requires the boy be dragged from the mother's home and returned to the father, the police will drag the boy from the mother's home and return him to the father. 

 

But how would that solve the issue? 

So, the plan is that after the cooling off period, the boy comes back and that's the end of it. 

I never said it would solve the issue, I am focussed on what the law is and who has legal custody of the child in this instance, and if the father chooses to exercise his rights then yes, the child will be returned to the father and will be under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age.

[Gottfrid]

On 6/30/2023 at 8:24 AM, 2008bangkok said:

I understand he would prefer to live with them as they all speak Thai, still part of the family albeit without me and still has my daughter as company.

Didn´t you say you been married in Thailand for 16 years. Why is there a problem speaking Thai with your son?

[Yellowtail]

28 minutes ago, kingkenny said:

I never said it would solve the issue, I am focussed on what the law is and who has legal custody of the child in this instance, and if the father chooses to exercise his rights then yes, the child will be returned to the father and will be under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age.

When I suggested the father pick the boy up from school, you claimed: "Yes he can go to the school and collect his son, even take the divorce documents with him to show the school who has full legal custody, but would it solve the issue?"

 

Now you are (apparently) claiming that solving the issue is unimportant, it's only the law that is important. 

 

You've answered none of my questions, and you just repeat that because the father has custody: "...the child will be returned to the father and will be under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age." yet you seem to have absolutely no idea how the child will be returned to the father, much less how the boy will "...remain under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age."

 

There is nothing stopping the boy from visiting his mother if he wants to. 

[kingkenny]

16 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

When I suggested the father pick the boy up from school, you claimed: "Yes he can go to the school and collect his son, even take the divorce documents with him to show the school who has full legal custody, but would it solve the issue?"

 

Now you are (apparently) claiming that solving the issue is unimportant, it's only the law that is important. 

 

You've answered none of my questions, and you just repeat that because the father has custody: "...the child will be returned to the father and will be under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age." yet you seem to have absolutely no idea how the child will be returned to the father, much less how the boy will "...remain under his custody until he either gets married or reaches 20 years of age."

 

There is nothing stopping the boy from visiting his mother if he wants to. 

As I said, you can bore a glass eye to sleep.

 

to solve being repetitive and arguing with someone that clearly has nothing better to do other than arguing I will let you have what you will probably think is some victory. All my thoughts are in this thread and if anyone chooses to read them, followed by the tripe you have written they are free to do so.

[Yellowtail]

20 minutes ago, kingkenny said:

As I said, you can bore a glass eye to sleep.

 

to solve being repetitive and arguing with someone that clearly has nothing better to do other than arguing I will let you have what you will probably think is some victory. All my thoughts are in this thread and if anyone chooses to read them, followed by the tripe you have written they are free to do so.

That's what I thought, dodging any questions by pretending you've answered them, and that you've grown tired of the discussion.

 

You have no idea how to get the boy back. 

 

 

 

 

[kingkenny]

2 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

That's what I thought, dodging any questions by pretending you've answered them, and that you've grown tired of the discussion.

 

You have no idea how to get the boy back. 

 

 

 

 

Read through my friend, it is very clear how to get the boy back, now if you want to squabble send me a PM so people are not bored any longer by you, even my backside has fallen asleep.

[Yellowtail]

1 hour ago, kingkenny said:

Read through my friend, it is very clear how to get the boy back, now if you want to squabble send me a PM so people are not bored any longer by you, even my backside has fallen asleep.

You have no idea how to get the boy back, so you dodge any questions by pretending you've already answered them, now you're pretending you'll answer if PMed. 

 

How funny is that? 

 

[kingkenny]

15 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

You have no idea how to get the boy back, so you dodge any questions by pretending you've already answered them, now you're pretending you'll answer if PMed. 

 

How funny is that? 

 

How stupid are you? Every question you have asked in answered by me in this thread, you are boring to the point of tedium.

 

request for PM is to not answer your questions, it is to free others up from having to read your constant drivel on a subject you clearly have no understanding on, if you want answers to any of your questions read my posts, if your carer can't explain the answers to you then feel free to PM me.

[2008bangkok]

Thanks for all the advice good and bad.

I would like to say this.

 

1. I have a visa so that's not a problem, the people who write it's all about a visa are just cruel.

2. I do not go to the school as that would be a problem which I could get done for if anybody complained, I have been speaking to the teachers, director and police and it's obvious through dialogue they are not 1 bit interested.

3. It's very easy for me to just go Arr sod it let him do what he wants but than then sets the stage for worse to come. I have full legal control and that should be regonised by authorities but it's not.

4. I have said many times it's not about what I want, it's about what's the right thing to do, at 14 you are not allowed to just do what you want that's why there are laws specifically saying that, so while my son wants to live with his mum and I fully understand, he cannot do, nor can the mother do what she is doing, but as everyone knows the police are somewhat sloppy nothing gets done unless you fight for justice.

Edited July 5, 2023 by 2008bangkok

[2008bangkok]

On 7/1/2023 at 1:10 AM, kwonitoy said:

His room didn't get into this kind of state in one day.

So, as a single father, as am I, also with full parental powers, with an 11 year old Thai/Canadian son where are your housekeeping standards?

My son and I mop the floors together and vacuum the rugs, he does the laundry because I taught him how to do so, have you?

I show him how to cook and buy food, change a light switch, build Ikea furniture, etc, you know dad things

speak to him respectfully and it will be returned

My son and I say please and thank you and your welcome to each other because I taught being polite is free and beneficial,  and I try lead by example 

You've obviously ignored this for weeks if not longer and then expect him to tidy it when you decide

Get your son, and together tidy the place up together, set a standard, follow it yourself and he might also.

It won't sink in a day but keep that standard up.

If I was your kid I'd go to moms place also

Learn some dad skills and lose the "It's my way because I say so"

I have asked, but get the "I'll do it 2mw" , I leave it for fear of this exact thing happens.

[Yellowtail]

9 minutes ago, 2008bangkok said:

Thanks for all the advice good and bad.

I would like to say this.

 

1. I have a visa so that's not a problem, the people who write it's all about a visa are just cruel.

2. I do not go to the school as that would be a problem which I could get done for if anybody complained, I have been speaking to the teachers, director and police and it's obvious through dialogue they are not 1 bit interested.

3. It's very easy for me to just go Arr sod it let him do what he wants but than then sets the stage for worse to come. I have full legal control and that should be regonised by authorities but it's not.

4. I have said many times it's not about what I want, it's about what's the right thing to do, at 14 you are not allowed to just do what you want that's why there are laws specifically saying that, so while my son wants to live with his mum and I fully understand, he cannot do, nor can the mother do what she is doing, but as everyone knows the police are somewhat sloppy nothing gets done unless you fight for justice.

What specifically would you have the police do? 

 

Saying enforce the law, or that the child must be returned by law is a non-answer. 

 

Again, you are going to have to bite the bullet and perhaps grovel a bit to get on reasonable terms with the wife. She holds all the cards, except that she cannot physically keep the child from you, which she is not doing. 

[2008bangkok]

9 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

What specifically would you have the police do? 

 

Saying enforce the law, or that the child must be returned by law is a non-answer. 

 

Again, you are going to have to bite the bullet and perhaps grovel a bit to get on reasonable terms with the wife. She holds all the cards, except that she cannot physically keep the child from you, which she is not doing. 

The only cards she holds is she is Thai.

In an ideal world we could sit down for a coffee and discuss why he is doing this and what we can do to resolve this for his best interest but she won't, so that then becomes an issue.

For example he turned up in-between this post the other day, and he done another runner when I asked him to have a shower and go to sleep, he refused then ran off, I assumed after trying to find him he gone back mum's, 4am she said he isn't back so where he gone, it's this thing that then becomes a danger to his safety.

But still no anwser

Kinda strange but I thought police are there to uphold the law

Edited July 5, 2023 by 2008bangkok

[Yellowtail]

21 minutes ago, 2008bangkok said:

The only cards she holds is she is Thai.

In an ideal world we could sit down for a coffee and discuss why he is doing this and what we can do to resolve this for his best interest but she won't, so that then becomes an issue.

For example he turned up in-between this post the other day, and he done another runner when I asked him to have a shower and go to sleep, he refused then ran off, I assumed after trying to find him he gone back mum's, 4am she said he isn't back so where he gone, it's this thing that then becomes a danger to his safety.

But still no anwser

Kinda strange but I thought police are there to uphold the law

Again, what specifically would you have the police do? 

 

What law is being broken by the boy and/or his mother? 

 

In any event, I doubt your obvious contempt for the mother and (apparently) Thais in general is helping anything. 

 

 

[2008bangkok]

45 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

Again, what specifically would you have the police do? 

 

What law is being broken by the boy and/or his mother? 

 

In any event, I doubt your obvious contempt for the mother and (apparently) Thais in general is helping anything. 

 

 

Mate, sometimes I wonder about the stupidity of people.

What law is broken is she is not allowed to have him, simple 

[Yellowtail]

6 hours ago, 2008bangkok said:

Mate, sometimes I wonder about the stupidity of people.

As do I mate, as do I. 

6 hours ago, 2008bangkok said:

What law is broken is she is not allowed to have him, simple 

The court says she is not allowed to have her son visit her? 

 

Did the court also say you could not visit your daughter? 

[Yellowtail]

9 hours ago, kingkenny said:

How stupid are you? Every question you have asked in answered by me in this thread, you are boring to the point of tedium.

 

request for PM is to not answer your questions, it is to free others up from having to read your constant drivel on a subject you clearly have no understanding on, if you want answers to any of your questions read my posts, if your carer can't explain the answers to you then feel free to PM me.

I'm really stupid, but I'm not the one making up a lot of nonsense pretending I'm smart. 

 

 

[2008bangkok]

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

As do I mate, as do I. 

The court says she is not allowed to have her son visit her? 

 

Did the court also say you could not visit your daughter? 

I already told you she is not allowed without my permission.

And no I don't see my daughter if she doesn't want me to, which is becoming more frequent 

[Yellowtail]

23 minutes ago, 2008bangkok said:

I already told you she is not allowed without my permission.

And no I don't see my daughter if she doesn't want me to, which is becoming more frequent 

Yes, we've been over that ad nauseam. What is not clear is how the mother is breaking the law is the son goes over there of his own volition. 

 

You say you want the police to enforce the law. Does that mean you want them to drag the boy back to you and or incarcerate the mother? 

 

 

[2008bangkok]

15 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Yes, we've been over that ad nauseam. What is not clear is how the mother is breaking the law is the son goes over there of his own volition. 

 

You say you want the police to enforce the law. Does that mean you want them to drag the boy back to you and or incarcerate the mother? 

 

 

She is breaking the law as I am saying he cannot stay with her unless I say that's it's OK and  I know he is actually there.

 

Yes, I do want the police to drag him back and if necessary at least give her a warning, if she continues to flaunt the law have her charged.

Like I said as much as I want to, I respect the decision about my daughter.

[john donson]

On 7/6/2023 at 11:45 AM, 2008bangkok said:

She is breaking the law as I am saying he cannot stay with her unless I say that's it's OK and  I know he is actually there.

 

Yes, I do want the police to drag him back and if necessary at least give her a warning, if she continues to flaunt the law have her charged.

Like I said as much as I want to, I respect the decision about my daughter.

you live here long enough to know police are not interested in doing the job...

 

I went to a police station to notify my ex stole hundred of thousands of baht...

well we were still married at the time of theft, tried to get my money back, never did, divorce happened...  and apparently, spouses can steal whatever, during marriage, ... never prosecuted for it anyway, even there is a law against...

 

the only thing they could say was, instead of writing a report, was, you have to go to another police station 30km away, even the police station is a few km where I live...

 

you got your visa, great...

 

you do not have to show his birth certificate, id card and tabien baan ?

 

if he would change his official address and tabien baan, will you be able to still apply for the parent of thai visa extension ?

 

I was in the situation for many year, parent of thai visa, but not on retirement...

 

if the child ghost you while it is time next year to go to immigration...

 

did you not have to provide photos of him and you outside and inside your place to live, proof you paid school, etc... ???

 

[2008bangkok]

On 7/10/2023 at 3:21 PM, john donson said:

you live here long enough to know police are not interested in doing the job...

 

I went to a police station to notify my ex stole hundred of thousands of baht...

well we were still married at the time of theft, tried to get my money back, never did, divorce happened...  and apparently, spouses can steal whatever, during marriage, ... never prosecuted for it anyway, even there is a law against...

 

the only thing they could say was, instead of writing a report, was, you have to go to another police station 30km away, even the police station is a few km where I live...

 

you got your visa, great...

 

you do not have to show his birth certificate, id card and tabien baan ?

 

if he would change his official address and tabien baan, will you be able to still apply for the parent of thai visa extension ?

 

I was in the situation for many year, parent of thai visa, but not on retirement...

 

if the child ghost you while it is time next year to go to immigration...

 

did you not have to provide photos of him and you outside and inside your place to live, proof you paid school, etc... ???

 

It seems they are not no, shame really.

The paperwork I had to show was for him anyway, photos round the house with both of us, copy of ID, copy of birth certificate, copy of house book, copy of divorce and papers showing full custody.

No need for school reciepts or any proof what school he is at.

Changing the blue book doesn't matter either as the one I showed wasn't even for the house we are living. 

The only really concern for them is who has custody of him and that's me and that won't change unless she wants to take me to court to see if it can be changed and I don't think she got the time or money to do that.

 

Fortunately when the passport does come back as it's at immigration currently waiting after the 30 day consideration but next year I will be 50 so of I'm still here then I can get a retirement visa which doesn't need any paperwork about family stuff.

[john donson]

On 7/12/2023 at 7:59 AM, 2008bangkok said:

It seems they are not no, shame really.

The paperwork I had to show was for him anyway, photos round the house with both of us, copy of ID, copy of birth certificate, copy of house book, copy of divorce and papers showing full custody.

No need for school reciepts or any proof what school he is at.

Changing the blue book doesn't matter either as the one I showed wasn't even for the house we are living. 

The only really concern for them is who has custody of him and that's me and that won't change unless she wants to take me to court to see if it can be changed and I don't think she got the time or money to do that.

 

Fortunately when the passport does come back as it's at immigration currently waiting after the 30 day consideration but next year I will be 50 so of I'm still here then I can get a retirement visa which doesn't need any paperwork about family stuff.

you might be surprised that they would ask your son to be there when you change the visa... the IO tried to deny mine because of that...

 

that SP immigration has always been a bunch of asswipes since my divorce