My new Thai gf (35/f) invited me (42/m) to visit her family in Isaan after < 1 month of dating? I feel uncomfortable but agreed. What do you think?

[Homburg]

"The problem is all inside your head she said to me...." Listen to Paul Simon and take heed!

[BritManToo]

54 minutes ago, Mansell said:

You seem either very naive, or immature, or haven’t dated a lot of women. …….maybe both! In love after a month….Yikes! Where are you from? 
It sounds like you are heading down the road that runs off a Cliff……put the brakes on and slow down before you hit the forty foot wall in front of the cliff.

Can  you speak Thai….can she speak good English? If the answers No to both of those be very careful because there will be some huge misunderstandings now and down the road. Good luck.

 

I married my Thai woman 2 weeks after meeting her in a bar, at that time she had no English at all. Then she spoiled it by learning, apart from that it's been great.

Edited July 10, 2023 by BritManToo

[novacova]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

My new Thai gf 

555 this gets me every time 555

[Hummin]

32 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

Yeah, it won't end well. Most relationships are doomed, especially here.

 

Vast majority of local women looking for farang are just looking for money.

 

What else is the attraction in farang? It ain't the white skin or long noses. 

 

They also sacrifice their respectable status in Thai society to become the "farang wife" which is never said in a nice way.

 

It's for money and for their family.

 

Sad experience you have about women in Thailand. A shame

[proton]

1 hour ago, hellohello123 said:

This isnt restricted to thai women but asking (maybe he offered) a stranger 1 month after meeting for living expenses, shows little self respect

 

Some women, money is the only thing they care about

 

But I guess there are those sugar daddy websites

Also, noodles, durian som tam and nam prik ????

[cardinalblue]

I doubt you would be throwing money at a women in your home country who has a job and 2 kids after one month of dating….

 

why here? Because thailand is third world and needs to be rescued?

 

I am still 1.5 years away from my social security checks…came early from your GF after only one month of her time….I wish I could get a ROI like that like….

[hellohello123]

2 minutes ago, cardinalblue said:

I doubt you would be throwing money at a women in your home country who has a job and 2 kids after one month of dating….

 

why here? Because thailand is third world and needs to be rescued?

 

I am still 1.5 years away from my social security checks…came early from your GF after only one month of her time….I wish I could get a ROI like that like….

Its just mind boggling how some men who have never done this back home, let alone heard of it,

Come to this country and do it so easily and quickly

 

Can you imagine what would happen if back home a girl.of similar age said " i need an allowance"

[KhunLA]

25 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I married my Thai woman 2 weeks after meeting her in a bar, at that time she had no English at all. Then she spoiled it by learning, apart from that it's been great.

11 weeks ???? for 1st Thai wife, and took as many months to realize, not the best idea I had that year.   Divorced her but hung out for a while before I threw her out.  

 

2nd Thai wife, live with 8 yrs before marrying, hmm, wonder why that is working ????

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, hellohello123 said:

Its just mind boggling how some men who have never done this back home, let alone heard of it,

Come to this country and do it so easily and quickly

 

Can you imagine what would happen if back home a girl.of similar age said " i need an allowance"

My Brit wife lived off me for 25 years ................

My Brit mom lived off my Brit dad for 30 years.

So I'd say it's entirely normal for women to live off men throughout the history of mankind.

It's women being provided with fake jobs and given money by governments that is abnormal.

 

[hellohello123]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

My Brit wife lived off me for 25 years ................

My Brit mom lived off my Brit dad for 30 years.

So I'd say it's entirely normal for women to live off men throughout the history of mankind.

It's women being provided with fake jobs and given money by governments that is abnormal.

 

There's a bit of a difference leaving off you once married

 

Vs

Meeting 1 month and getting an allowance

 

That is unless you are bill gates rich

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

My Brit wife lived off me for 25 years ................

My Brit mom lived off my Brit dad for 30 years.

So I'd say it's entirely normal for women to live off men throughout the history of mankind.

It's women being provided with fake jobs and given money by governments that is abnormal.

 

Yes, good women should know their space and when to talk! 

 

You got it Right Britman

[teeyai]

On 7/8/2023 at 10:40 AM, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

What a complete Tool ( No Not the OP )

[Nip]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

My new gf, divorced and working for an insurance company in Bangkok and a mother of 2 young children that live with her parents (children’s grandparents) in a city in Isaan wants me to visit her family for the weekend .  She actually invited me the first time after only 1 week of dating but I turned her down then. This time I feel a bit uncomfortable but have agreed. Fwiw, I have been supporting her financially somewhat as well and her son is sick with long COVID, but have explained that there are limits. There are several other red flags I am feeling in the relationship but do feel I love her. Feedback welcome. Thank you everyone

You don’t need advice from Thaivisa members the only person you need to listen to is your sixth sense who is rightly telling you to bale out. 

[LikeItHot]

They are all liars.  And for the guys that say they are not all liars, that just means they found a good liar.

[LikeItHot]

I understand when these girls get knocked up young the first time but what I can't figure out is where the second kid comes from.  Remember what George Bush said "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice um er well you get the idea"

[Kwasaki]

34 minutes ago, hellohello123 said:

Its just mind boggling how some men who have never done this back home, let alone heard of it,

Come to this country and do it so easily and quickly

 

Can you imagine what would happen if back home a girl.of similar age said " i need an allowance"

Doesn't take much to understand why some do it.

[bignok]

1 hour ago, FruitPudding said:

Yeah, it won't end well. Most relationships are doomed, especially here.

 

Vast majority of local women looking for farang are just looking for money.

 

What else is the attraction in farang? It ain't the white skin or long noses. 

 

They also sacrifice their respectable status in Thai society to become the "farang wife" which is never said in a nice way.

 

It's for money and for their family.

 

My gf loves my nose.

[BTB1977]

She will be pregnant with your kid soon. Than too late to run. 

[jts-khorat]

On 7/8/2023 at 12:27 PM, Gecko123 said:

A trip up country to meet the family is something of a rite of passage for many foreign guys. Can be very insightful and educational

I really do not understand the negativity many here bring to it.

 

As @Gecko123 said, such a trip will be very educational and there is no better way to learn about a person than meet her family: see how she handles her children (!!), see how she reacts to the financial pressure family (and most likely the whole village) will put her under when with a foreign guy, see how she behaves with regard to him when she introduces him to parents, family or friends, see how willing she is to translate all kinds of conversations (assuming the OP does not speak Thai well already).

 

Also, obviously, there is no faster way to get an intimate sight of Thai/Isaan culture and how those people think, which as a tourist or living in Bangkok is really difficult to get on your own.

 

Even if this relationship would be full of red flags, I would definitely go, because afterwards, I really would know if those red flags are true, or if there is indeed that rough diamond found, where a relationship makes sense. If it does not, the knowledge and insight gained would be invaluable with the next one...

 

So yes, I would dive in with all fours -- I actually did with every serious (from my end) relationship I had -- and evaluate later, if this is something to pursue.

[The Theory]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

but do feel I love her.

???????? really ?!!!! After a month !!!!

I guess she found you "weak". ????
well, good luck to you.

[Hummin]

On 7/8/2023 at 2:01 PM, Madgee said:

My oh my ..... I see a little sarcasm and dry wit goes way over your head.
I'm single and intend to stay that way for the foreseeable future but I do live in Isaan and often see these sad guys in tow with a couple of laden trollies at the checkout. 
As they say: No money no honey ........... Or should it be no trolley no dolly?

Well, when you see sad guys, it is actually an mirror effect. You see what you like to see, and to be true with you, single in Isaan? Oh, never mind, 

 

I never gonto temple, marked, onlynto hardware stores when needed, and big shopping once every two weeks. The rest of the time, I got for myself.

 

It is possible to create a good life even in Isaan as a member of a family, but as many points out, you are not only choosing a gf, you are also choosing the family, because the family comes with it. 

 

So better get find put early what their expectations is! 

 

If taken for a ride first trip, you know how bright the future will be! 

 

Not once have I felt my wife family wants to play me, they have been decent all the way to me, and real.

 

You know when the girls is playing you, and red flags comes up quite quick, and thats when you have a choice! 

 

 

[Chongalulu]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:40 PM, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

" It's a wise man that knows his own child"...

[Chongalulu]

47 minutes ago, bignok said:

My gf loves my nose.

" My gf SAYS she loves my nose” or in your case ,Bignok,your beak...?

[jts-khorat]

6 hours ago, Almer said:

I live in Issan never had rat, but I have only been here 8 years

You are seriously missing out. Much juicier than chicken, soft meat, really delicious. A trip to Isaan without rat on a stick would be only half as good!

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, ChipButty said:

One of the first things I used to ask them was how much debt have you got.........? I have seen huge amounts and they are expecting you to pay it off, as for the kids I would be gone with the wind, most of them dont have any respect for you, I had a one years ago with a kid the only thing that came out of his mouth was farang this farang that, tell that little <deleted> my name is not farang, 

I remember one farang who lived in Phuket and met this woman here eventually he was invited to sticky rice land to meet the family just like you, she had arranged a party it seemed like half the village turned up unknown to him it was a wedding ceremony he was getting married and didn't know it until the last minute, 

I could tell you some stories, 

You must have heard stories about the so called brother, who you think is the brother but it's not, it's the husband, 

As much much of its is true, it is still the one who willingly seeking up women in need, who making the mistakes, and let him self being taken for a ride.

 

Same who continuously involving everyone who have a Isaan woman, in to their own misery and make them look stupid to everyone else, as much those who have only heard to stories from a bar stool, and also make them a the truth.

 

Yes, many fail, but they already knew it from the very first moment painted with red flags all over. 

 

There is many decent women in Thailand, same as everywhere else, you just have to find them. 

 

 

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

As much much of its is true, it is still the one who willingly seeking up women in need, who making the mistakes, and let him self being taken for a ride.

 

Same who continuously involving everyone who have a Isaan woman, in to their own misery and make them look stupid to everyone else, as much those who have only heard to stories from a bar stool, and also make them a the truth.

 

Yes, many fail, but they already knew it from the very first moment painted with red flags all over. 

 

There is many decent women in Thailand, same as everywhere else, you just have to find them. 

 

 

And bring the confused emotions, I do not care ????

 

 

 

[thailand49]

It too late once you open that can of worms not even a  month supporting her.

Obviously you never read the book Thailand fever. 

[Alidiver]

Read Private Dancer.

[Bundooman]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:40 PM, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

What an unnecessarily, vindictive and spiteful sentence to post on this forum.

I can't think of anything nastier that anyone could say to a genuine request for advice.

 

Mean, childish and immature.

[Bundooman]

On 7/8/2023 at 7:01 PM, Madgee said:

My oh my ..... I see a little sarcasm and dry wit goes way over your head.
I'm single and intend to stay that way for the foreseeable future but I do live in Isaan and often see these sad guys in tow with a couple of laden trollies at the checkout. 
As they say: No money no honey ........... Or should it be no trolley no dolly?

Does that 'sad guy in tow' comment apply to all of us foreigners who are in a long term relationship of 15 years, (or more) and standing in the queue at Lotus or Big C or Makro on a monthly basis with their Thai wife and a trolley full of shopping for the month?

 

Very narrow-minded viewpoint. No wonder you are single.............

Probably always will be - who'd want to be with someone like you?