How to handle Thai women becoming “attached” right away?

[bignok]

29 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

for what reason?

 

if you want to do business with someone, you might invite them to dinner to discuss business matters.

if you invite a woman to dinner, there's only 2 reasons ... you want to have casual sex or you want to start a relationship. 

 

if the woman is not giving off vibes of casual sex, then she wants a relationship.

 

it's the same anywhere in the world. 

 

 

Maybe he is lonely. If be looking for sex after.

[Kwasaki]

1 minute ago, bignok said:

Strange relationship. No food.

BritManToo is a pug waan. ????

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found women you take to dinner usually don't want sex, so it's a waste of your time and money. Those who are interested in sex go straight to it.

Coffee and then a short time hotel is the way to start in Thailand.

That reminds me of a situation many years ago.

In the morning a sexy girl was sitting in a cafe with a guy. From time to time she looked in my direction.

She was really hot, so I waited a little and finally they guy left.

She still smiled at me, and I walked over to her. I asked her what's the story with the guy? She told me that she arranged with him that she will see him that night.

So I asked her what she had in mind for the next hour. She looked at me and smiled and I said: Let's go.

It was a lot of fun.

The good old times.

[Danny Australia]

I take new women to dinner all the time with only one goal in mind.

 

I would feel robbed if one dinner doesn't lead to a <deleted> that same night ????

[bignok]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That reminds me of a situation many years ago.

In the morning a sexy girl was sitting in a cafe with a guy. From time to time she looked in my direction.

She was really hot, so I waited a little and finally they guy left.

She still smiled at me, and I walked over to her. I asked her what's the story with the guy? She told me that she arranged with him that she will see him that night.

So I asked her what she had in mind for the next hour. She looked at me and smiled and I said: Let's go.

It was a lot of fun.

The good old times.

Nice one.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, Danny Australia said:

I take new women to dinner all the time with only one goal in mind.

 

I would feel robbed if one dinner doesn't lead to a <deleted> that same night ????

Did you try that in Australia? You entitled misogynist! ???? 

[Kwasaki]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That reminds me of a situation many years ago.

In the morning a sexy girl was sitting in a cafe with a guy. From time to time she looked in my direction.

She was really hot, so I waited a little and finally they guy left.

She still smiled at me, and I walked over to her. I asked her what's the story with the guy? She told me that she arranged with him that she will see him that night.

So I asked her what she had in mind for the next hour. She looked at me and smiled and I said: Let's go.

It was a lot of fun.

The good old times.

Condom days.

[transam]

12 minutes ago, Danny Australia said:

I take new women to dinner all the time with only one goal in mind.

 

I would feel robbed if one dinner doesn't lead to a <deleted> that same night ????

They probably know that........????

[save the frogs]

18 minutes ago, bignok said:

Strange relationship. No food.

see GOAT's thread about those types of relationships.

and why those types of women need to get a real job. 

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, GarryP said:

Withdraw during each date. You don't want to get them pregnant. 

That does not prevent you from acquiring an STD.

[Lacessit]

54 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found women you take to dinner usually don't want sex, so it's a waste of your time and money. Those who are interested in sex go straight to it.

Coffee and then a short time hotel is the way to start in Thailand.

 

 

You are such a romantic.

[4MyEgo]

 

4 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

I enjoy the company of a woman for dinner and always happily pay for our meals.  Dinner usually turns into a walk around the night market, a park, etc., some dessert, and more conversation into the evening.  I have made it a point to avoid sexual relations with the these women.

Why even bother, this is what any woman, if attracted to you would expect, i.e. dessert.

 

4 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

I personally do not drink alcohol or go to bars

Sounds like you should if your not looking for a girlfriend.

 

4 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

There has been some going back to my place and “snuggling”/“touching,” but no sex — so I am not using the women for sex.

I can't believe what I am reading, are you gay, it isn't called using the women for sex if your both up for it, that said, if a woman has accompanied you back to your place, it is more than likely that she is up for it.

 

What a let down for the girls !!!

 

4 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

The dinner dates have been great:   laughing, smiling, good conversation to the extent possible given the language barrier.  I think the woman have enjoyed the evenings as much as I have.

Sounds to me that your living in a fantasy world, you should stop dating women, because all your doing is teasing them in my opinion.

 

4 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

NOW comes the challenge.  These women seem to get “very attached” after just one date.  They say things like “will I see you tomorrow.” They text me on LINE, etc.  

What did you expect ?

[bignok]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Avoid old women! 

What is an 83yo woman then?

[bignok]

14 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Why even bother, this is what any woman, if attracted to you would expect, i.e. dessert.

 

Sounds like you should if your not looking for a girlfriend.

 

I can't believe what I am reading, are you gay, it isn't called using the women for sex if your both up for it, that said, if a woman has accompanied you back to your place, it is more than likely that she is up for it.

 

What a let down for the girls !!!

 

Sounds to me that your living in a fantasy world, you should stop dating women, because all your doing is teasing them in my opinion.

 

What did you expect ?

He likes dinner dates. 

[JimTripper]

Why do you feel you have to respond if they are irritating you?

 

Do you feel you owe them something after the dinner? If they are too pushy they are not for you, esp if you’re not looking for casual sex.
 

You just don’t respond if it bothers you. If your not interested there is no second date!

 

The western idea of explaining to all your dates why you do or do not wish to proceed so they “learn from the experience” does not apply here. Any interaction is seen as continued interest.

 

Once your gone they meet someone the next day and forget you altogether. One or two dates, not a big deal. People get over it.

Edited July 18, 2023 by JimTripper

[Shop mak]

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

When I meet these women, if I have a nice little conversation with them, I always invite them to dinner

Mistake #1. You too fast. Start with exchange Line id, and chat when she get home after work.

After a week or two, meet near her work for some coffee or thai street food.

 

Did you make it crystal clear first time you talked that you seek:

Friends first.

Not relationship.

Not sex.

(Note to you: no touch of any kind)

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

This is usually fairly quickly…often during our initial conversation or after a short second conversation

Hold on, that's just too fast. Thai style is slowly. Friends first. Coffee first. A simple meal. Not restaurant dining.

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

Dinner usually turns into a walk around the night market, a park, etc., some dessert, and more conversation into the evening.

Nice, but start as chat friends first.

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

I have made it a point to avoid sexual relations with the these women.  

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

There has been some going back to my place and “snuggling”/“touching,” but no sex — so I am not using the women for sex.

But this confuse them. You contradict yourself here, as you might been close to 1st or 2nd base. Most women now think you want (sex) relationship.

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

These women seem to get “very attached” after just one date.  They say things like “will I see you tomorrow.”

Don't bring her home. Meet in public. 

When you're alone with her, and some kiss and touch here and there initiated - Heck, even I would want more.

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

language barrier.  I think the woman have enjoyed the evenings as much as I have

Yes, she smile, nod and laugh, but language barrier is huge. You lucky if she understood 50-75% of what you said.

 

5 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

However, I definitely DO NOT consider them “girlfriends” right away as they seem to want, imply, and act.  I want to handle the situation in a dignified manner that does not unnecessarily hurt anyone’s feeling.

So, how do I handle this is Thailand?  

You cross the border for what friends can do. Don't touch, hug or kiss.

Meet in public only, not home to your or her place. Only if she bring a friend (chaperone).

 

You act / imply by your actions that you want something more.

 

Poor communication from the start, you might has mislead her then (and more by your kissy touchy ...) for her to think that

'maybe he want a girlfriend'.

 

You blur the border for friends vs what people in relationship can do. You create misunderstanding and hope. Don't blame the women. You created this by your actions.

 

 

Edited July 18, 2023 by Shop mak

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found women you take to dinner usually don't want sex, so it's a waste of your time and money. Those who are interested in sex go straight to it.

Coffee and then a short time hotel is the way to start in Thailand.

 

 

take them out for breakfast the next morning

[Bangel72]

Curious, have you thought about just telling them the truth?

 

Though that does risk them loving you more, on second thoughts just make some <deleted> up like everyone else.

 

Note that the threesome card you need to be prepared to follow through on that if they don't run a mile. 

[GammaGlobulin]

2 hours ago, NextG said:

My last tinder date before I met my wife was working for 3M making 100k a year and she proudly gave a list with how many guys on dating sites she was with.

So...

What was the tally?

 

(3M, in her case, really does = Minnesota Mining)

 

[ASEANTraveler]

24 minutes ago, Shop mak said:

Mistake #1. You too fast. Start with exchange Line id, and chat when she get home after work.

After a week or two, meet near her work for some coffee or thai street food.

 

Did you make it crystal clear first time you talked that you seek:

Friends first.

Not relationship.

Not sex.

(Note to you: no touch of any kind)

 

Hold on, that's just too fast. Thai style is slowly. Friends first. Coffee first. A simple meal. Not restaurant dining.

 

Nice, but start as chat friends first.

 

But this confuse them. You contradict yourself here, as you might been close to 1st or 2nd base. Most women now think you want (sex) relationship.

 

Don't bring her home. Meet in public. 

When you're alone with her, and some kiss and touch here and there initiated - Heck, even I would want more.

 

Yes, she smile, nod and laugh, but language barrier is huge. You lucky if she understood 50-75% of what you said.

 

You cross the border for what friends can do. Don't touch, hug or kiss.

Meet in public only, not home to your or her place. Only if she bring a friend (chaperone).

 

You act / imply by your actions that you want something more.

 

Poor communication from the start, you might has mislead her then (and more by your kissy touchy ...) for her to think that

'maybe he want a girlfriend'.

 

You blur the border for friends vs what people in relationship can do. You create misunderstanding and hope. Don't blame the women. You created this by your actions.

 

 

Some good points here for which I need to be more accountable for my own behavior 

[Ralf001]

6 is a nice number.

Re-name em.

Mon.

Tues.

Weds.

Thurs.

Fri.

Sat.

Sunday is Gods day so think of Jesus rather than your penis. 

[zzaa09]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found women you take to dinner usually don't want sex, so it's a waste of your time and money. Those who are interested in sex go straight to it.

Coffee and then a short time hotel is the way to start in Thailand.

 

 

Coffee? Hah...

A couple shots of Ya Dong would suffice nicely........for those "nice girls" that might imbibe.

[ASEANTraveler]

44 minutes ago, bignok said:

He likes dinner dates. 

Truthfully I do like dinner dates.  ????  Look:  I’m no angel — especially in my younger days.  There have been plenty of “let’s have dinner” dates that were just a formality for the main event.  She knew it and I knew it.  But I am not 27 anymore.  I know it almost seems foreign these days, but having a nice meal with a woman (good food, nice ambiance) can itself be a wonderful experience — just living in the moment, being in the presence of the “feminine” form without expectations of sex, financial support, future relationships, etc.). 

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, ASEANTraveler said:

Truthfully I do like dinner dates.  ????  Look:  I’m no angel — especially in my younger days.  There have been plenty of “let’s have dinner” dates that were just a formality for the main event.  She knew it and I knew it.  But I am not 27 anymore.  I know it almost seems foreign these days, but having a nice meal with a woman (good food, nice ambiance) can itself be a wonderful experience — just living in the moment, being in the presence of the “feminine” form without expectations of sex, financial support, future relationships, etc.). 

Sounds like wasted time.

[ASEANTraveler]

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

Why do you feel you have to respond if they are irritating you?

 

Do you feel you owe them something after the dinner? If they are too pushy they are not for you, esp if you’re not looking for casual sex.
 

You just don’t respond if it bothers you. If your not interested there is no second date!

 

The western idea of explaining to all your dates why you do or do not wish to proceed so they “learn from the experience” does not apply here. Any interaction is seen as continued interest.

 

Once your gone they meet someone the next day and forget you altogether. One or two dates, not a big deal. People get over it.

The “gentleman” in me kind of feels like a jerk if I don’t respond, but that’s more a problem for me than for them.  I agree with you…one or two dates is not a marriage and they probably don’t give it a second thought (even if I do)

[ASEANTraveler]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Why even bother, this is what any woman, if attracted to you would expect, i.e. dessert.

 

Sounds like you should if your not looking for a girlfriend.

 

I can't believe what I am reading, are you gay, it isn't called using the women for sex if your both up for it, that said, if a woman has accompanied you back to your place, it is more than likely that she is up for it.

 

What a let down for the girls !!!

 

Sounds to me that your living in a fantasy world, you should stop dating women, because all your doing is teasing them in my opinion.

 

What did you expect ?

I will plead guilty to your one charge that “woman might also have been up for it.”  Even the “good girls” seem to have desires and wants.  I forget that sometimes 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, bignok said:

What is an 83yo woman then?

Likely a great grandmother.

Why do you ask?

[mancub]

Out of curiosity. how many have turned your dinner date offer down? 

The "obsessive" traits of those that accept are likely fuelled by their awareness of the competition out there.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Shop mak said:

Start with exchange Line id, and chat when she get home after work.

Really?

Why chat when you can meet?

Personally, if I want to get to know a person, I use LINE or the phone (how old fashioned) to arrange that we meet.

How about coffee tomorrow at 3pm in xyz? 

That's what it's good for.

And maybe after the date: That was nice, let's do that again.

 

I understand that girls who have hundreds of guys waiting for a date have to filter them somehow, and for that a couple of chats make sense. But for normal guys?

He likes to have dinner with them. Fine, have dinner.

 

Otherwise, I agree with most of your post.

Especially don't invite them to your home if sex is not on your mind. (And obviously don't expect that it must happen.)

[Lucky Bones]

6 hours ago, ASEANTraveler said:

No women in their 20s, TYVM! This dynamic about being “past their prime” in Thailand if they are mid 30s or whatever is a strange one to me.  These women I meet are attractive ladies:  slim, long healthy hair, no tattoos, nice smooth skin, eat right, don’t smoke/drink, dressed feminine and look great.  

If you are not showering with them, or bedding them, then I wouldn't be too certain of "no tattoos".????????