the wai

[alien365]

I wai but I can't tell you how often or when. It just comes naturally. Sometimes I return a wai, other times I initiate it. 

I had a funny moment a few days ago as a lady I see every week gave me a big wai while bowing. She then looked very embarrassed and whispered to the guy next to her. He then told me my zip was down. I don't think she'll be bowing that low next time lol. 

[brianthainess]

22 hours ago, stoner said:

how often do you wai ?  on a regular basis ? do you feel obligated to do it ? 

 

i find it strange personally even after 20 years of interaction with thai. the longer i stay here the less i wai.

 

i have also experienced the nefarious over exaggerated wai. where a person goes out of their way to do a really big wai and all full of what looks like acting. 3 times in my life i have encountered this wai and every time it turned out to be backed by an absolute horrible person. from both extremes of the culture as well. the one came from an extremely well to do thai and the other came from a poverty stricken thai. yet the action and mannerism was almost the exact same. 

 

 

I only give a Wai if someone has helped me in some way, my last one was at my local sub IO, doing my 90day report, although I already knew he pointed out that my extension must be done, in 90days. Wai and "thank you very much for telling me."

[richard_smith237]

6 hours ago, Srikcir said:

I do not respect elitism and throw back to class discrimination. It's origin stems from a 1600's absolute monarchy supported by hi-so society class and has no place in a modern democracy where everyone is equal. 

 

You've over thought it - for the most part, particularly in a social setting the wai is just like shaking hands, its a polite greeting.

 

 

[richard_smith237]

7 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Yes - - only to avoid shaking hands - - a disgusting custom... 

 

A bit of a stretch with the 'disgusting custom'...   the comments from some do make me wonder what sort of distorted world we live in...

 

Other posters have mentioned that they are not Thai and will never be, so they don't Wai... I often find myself combining a Wai and a Handshake... I'm not Thai and never will be, but I can be polite and Wai people, but I also shake hands, because I am a westerner and thats how I greet people in my culture... 

I do find it easier to wai though - walking into a room and greeting 20 extended family members, its just easier to do the 'sweeping wai' than it is to shake everyone's hand.

[khunPer]

On 12/15/2023 at 8:28 AM, stoner said:

how often do you wai ?  on a regular basis ? do you feel obligated to do it ? 

 

i find it strange personally even after 20 years of interaction with thai. the longer i stay here the less i wai.

I wai often – following the local tradition and wai people I know, or wai back when they wai me first.

 

There is a kind of status, who shall wai first, which might be little complicated for a foreigner. But good friends, I gladly wai as first, and people I know of higher status, including elder people. Otherwise I return wai, when someone I know wai to me – I'm considered of high enough local status to be a person, who some shall wai first – but of course I don't wai back to shop attendants and like, where you are not supposed to wai back, but I can thank for their politeness with a little nod.

 

Polite respectful wai to elders in the community has over time given me lots of benefits.

[Nick Carter icp]

2 minutes ago, khunPer said:

I wai often – following the local tradition and wai people I know, or wai back when they wai me first.

 

There is a kind of status, who shall wai first, which might be little complicated for a foreigner. But good friends, I gladly wai as first, and people I know of higher status, including elder people. Otherwise I return wai, when someone I know wai to me – I'm considered of high enough local status to be a person, who some shall wai first – but of course I don't wai back to shop attendants and like, where you are not supposed to wai back, but I can thank for their politeness with a little nod.

 

Polite respectful wai to elders in the community has over time given me lots of benefits.

 

   I do disagree with some people being held in awe and held in high esteem, just because they are old .

[Baht Simpson]

On 12/15/2023 at 2:51 PM, Stanton681 said:

Farangs are not expected to wai. Surely anyone who works here would have learned that when they moved to LoS.

Not quite. Although Thais don't always expect you to wai back it's polite to do so. Generally you only initiate a wai to someone older, an official or a monk. You should definitely do it to Thai friends if they initiate it.

 

[BusyB]

On 12/15/2023 at 8:44 AM, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I always say please and Thank you when necessary and a bow or a nod of the head when needed 

 

Me too. I often deploy a smile and nod of the head. But I often wai as well. It is nearly always appreciated and usually returned out of politeness if nothing else. And I always return a wai.

 

Like RichardSmith above, I just go with the flow and do what comes naturally and politely. No Thai  stands there frowning disapprovingly, muttering about how inappropriate it was or that my hands weren't held correctly in a perfect lotus form to the right level of the face.

 

I don't however wai kids first, nor waiters in restaurants. Although if they were good I'll give them a good nod of the head on the way out.

 

Just do what feels OK. A wai nearly always evokes a positive resonance. Missing a clear opportunity to wai will always look bad. At best it'll evoke a ''well, s/he's a farang ... can't expect it''. Not a league I aspire to.

 

Actually I even do it in the west sometimes quite naturally now as a thank you, rather than as a greeting salute. It's not that uncommon any more, especially as Buddhist awareness spreads, and so many have travelled to Asian/SE Asian countries.

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

A bit of a stretch with the 'disgusting custom'...   the comments from some do make me wonder what sort of distorted world we live in...

 

Other posters have mentioned that they are not Thai and will never be, so they don't Wai... I often find myself combining a Wai and a Handshake... I'm not Thai and never will be, but I can be polite and Wai people, but I also shake hands, because I am a westerner and thats how I greet people in my culture... 

I do find it easier to wai though - walking into a room and greeting 20 extended family members, its just easier to do the 'sweeping wai' than it is to shake everyone's hand.

I shook hands w/a neighbor today - his idea but he is a really nice guy... and he does not have a sweaty palm. I have been part of a close knit family for over 20 years... we see each other all the time - nobody wais - it is much less formal - the respect is assumed at this point... the young children will often wai but sometimes that takes a nudge from their mother. 

 

Many years ago I went to look at a piece of property - the owner was a Brit and was mowing his lawn - he was dripping with sweat... up and down his arms as well. It was my first time meeting him and I felt obliged when he reached out to shake my hand - - I took his hand - but it really was disgusting. Soaking wet w/his sweat. I don't think that is supposed to be a part of anyones tradition and culture... 

[Jimjim1]

On 12/15/2023 at 7:44 AM, Nick Carter icp said:

I always say please and Thank you when necessary and a bow or a nod of the head when needed 

But you are not waiing you are simply nodding your head which has no meaning, show me a Thai who does that to you, they will always put there hands together and that is the crux of the matter because the joining of hands is the ultimate mark of respect to a Thai.

It does not matter if you mangle the sa wa dee khrup as long as you put your hands together when you do it, the only thing you need to be aware of is if the person is not an important one the wrists should not go above the chin but if they are then the wrists should be elevated towards the eyes but not above them.

 

As an example the first time I went to an IM office my extension was slow and took more than an hour to complete and there were only 3 of us in the room, the second time I went I spotted the chief IO returning from his lunch so I wai ‘d him and when I went inside he deliberately made a point of dealing with me himself and sorted it in 10 minutes much to the chagrin of 10 or 12 others who had been sat waiting for I don’t know how long.

 

Try it yourself respectfully, go to a hotel that you had previously book to stay at go to the concierge and wai him shake his hand and ask him how he is and you could suddenly find you have been upgraded to a room you would normally pay 1 to 3,000 baht more to stay in.

It absolutely costs nothing to show respect but Thais will go out of there way to show it back to you.

[Nick Carter icp]

1 hour ago, Jimjim1 said:

 

 

As an example the first time I went to an IM office my extension was slow and took more than an hour to complete and there were only 3 of us in the room, the second time I went I spotted the chief IO returning from his lunch so I wai ‘d him and when I went inside he deliberately made a point of dealing with me himself and sorted it in 10 minutes much to the chagrin of 10 or 12 others who had been sat waiting for I don’t know how long.

 

 

 

 

  So you waied the immigration officer just so you could jump the queue?

I would rather wait my turn and not grovel to jump the queue 

[still kicking]

Not living in LOS anymore but coming twice a year to Thailand for holidays I still wai my Thai family back if the wai me.

[Jimjim1]

2 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

So you waied the immigration officer just so you could jump the queue?

I would rather wait my turn and not grovel to jump the queue 

No I did not, I did not know he was the chief or that he would do what he did until I got inside the office and was singled out, if you had read my reply properly you would not have made such an idiotic obnoxious retort, however it is quite obvious your ignorance outweighs any semblance of common sense and understanding, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself to sustain the attitude that you display here especially considering you are a guest in Thailand 

[Nick Carter icp]

4 hours ago, Jimjim1 said:

No I did not, I did not know he was the chief or that he would do what he did until I got inside the office and was singled out, if you had read my reply properly you would not have made such an idiotic obnoxious retort, however it is quite obvious your ignorance outweighs any semblance of common sense and understanding, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself to sustain the attitude that you display here especially considering you are a guest in Thailand 

 

   So you did queue jump .

I would have refused the offer to queue jump and respectfully told him that I would wait in line and wait until its my turn .

  All the serial Waiers can seen to be abusive online, is there any connection ?

Grovelling and being abusive, both sort of extremes 

I do neither 

[stoner]

7 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

9 hours ago, Jimjim1 said:

As an example the first time I went to an IM office my extension was slow and took more than an hour to complete and there were only 3 of us in the room, the second time I went I spotted the chief IO returning from his lunch so I wai ‘d him and when I went inside he deliberately made a point of dealing with me himself and sorted it in 10 minutes much to the chagrin of 10 or 12 others who had been sat waiting for I don’t know how long.

 

 

 

 

  So you waied the immigration officer just so you could jump the queue?

I would rather wait my turn and not grovel to jump the queue 

 

not sure why you are getting stupid reactions to this. if the wai in that scenario was simply for respect then why the need to process the application before the 12 or so who were waiting patiently and respectfully as well. 

 

i would have some chagrin if i was waiting and saw that. 

 

actually the poster should of declined the request and politely allowed those before him to be processed. it was very disrespectful to the dozen others waiting. but hey thai stuff was respected. 

 

oh the irony. 

[Nick Carter icp]

4 hours ago, Jimjim1 said:

No I did not, I did not know he was the chief or that he would do what he did until I got inside the office and was singled out, if you had read my reply properly you would not have made such an idiotic obnoxious retort, however it is quite obvious your ignorance outweighs any semblance of common sense and understanding, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself to sustain the attitude that you display here especially considering you are a guest in Thailand 

 

  So what would have happened if every felang queuing up Waied all the immigration officers as they came back from lunch ?

   The 100 or so Felangs waiting for their extensions, what if they all did like you and Waied every officer who walked in ?

   You wouldn't have gotten preferential  treatment if every felang did what you did .

You would then have to bow down and kiss their feet , to make yourself stand out from the rest and get seen to first 

[BritManToo]

On 12/15/2023 at 2:28 PM, stoner said:

how often do you wai ?  on a regular basis ? do you feel obligated to do it ? 

 

Never,

I don't doff my cap, tug my forelock or bow when the landed gentry walk by either. Obviously those who view themselves as serfs are free to debase themselves in any way they like to their betters.

[Nick Carter icp]

9 hours ago, Jimjim1 said:

 

 

As an example the first time I went to an IM office my extension was slow and took more than an hour to complete and there were only 3 of us in the room, the second time I went I spotted the chief IO returning from his lunch so I wai ‘d him 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, Jimjim1 said:

No I did not, I did not know he was the chief 

 

 

    Jim, you have picked up the Thai habit of Waing and you also seem to have picked up the other Thai habit of lying .

   In your fist post you  stated that you spotted the Chief and in your second  post you stated that you didn't know that he was the Chief 

[Skeptic7]

Only on the exceedingly rare occasion. Could probably count on 2 hands my total wais in 25+ years. 🙏 

[FruitPudding]

I wai when I meet royalty, and a few others. 

[Jimjim1]

8 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

So what would have happened if every felang queuing up Waied all the immigration officers as they came back from lunch ?

   The 100 or so Felangs waiting for their extensions, what if they all did like you and Waied every officer who walked in ?

   You wouldn't have gotten preferential  treatment if every felang did what you did .

You would then have to bow down and kiss their feet , to make yourself stand out from the rest and get seen to first 

Read what I wrote idiot, I was outside not inside and this happened when I entered the building not whilst I was waiting.

It was not until after I left that I realised what had happened and why, and the point I was making was that showing respect costs nothing but the gains can be immense, perhaps if everybody did it the process they are going through would be speeded up instead everybody being sat on their rear end for hours waiting for the IO’s to get over the fact that they are p_ _ d of by the lack of ANY show of respect.

When did I mention a 100 falang waiting before me ?????

Good god there are some dummies in this world.

 

My depiction was merely a passing on of my own experience which I am sure some have found it helpful, educational and worth a try but the old adage that you cannot educate pork weighs heavily on some others.

It is said that ignorance is bliss so I will not respond further on this matter as it is pointless in your case.

[Nick Carter icp]

1 minute ago, Jimjim1 said:

Read what I wrote idiot, I was outside not inside and this happened when I entered the building not whilst I was waiting.

It was not until after I left that I realised what had happened and why, and the point I was making was that showing respect costs nothing but the gains can be immense, perhaps if everybody did it the process they are going through would be speeded up instead everybody being sat on their rear end for hours waiting for the IO’s to get over the fact that they are p_ _ d of by the lack of ANY show of respect.

When did I mention a 100 falang waiting before me ?????

Good god there are some dummies in this world.

 

My depiction was merely a passing on of my own experience which I am sure some have found it helpful, educational and worth a try but the old adage that you cannot educate pork weighs heavily on some others.

It is said that ignorance is bliss so I will not respond further on this matter as it is pointless in your case.

 

   Lying again . 

You quite clearly initially stated that you  Waied the top immigration officer as he walked into the office in an attempt to queue jump and after your Wai to him, he served your first . 

   I wouldn't queue jump , I would wait my turn . 

If everyone Waied, then he wouldn't be able to queue jump all the Waiers .

So you just keep Waiing and queue jumping and don't encourage others to do so , as it will ruin your queue jumping technique .

   I will refrain from waiing and wait in the queue 

[Chris Daley]

I rarely do it.  I just say hello and wave.  If you cheat me, fine me and separate me like an alien, I will be that alien.

 

I give up speaking Thai.  You can start speaking and Thai to someone and they go into English all of a sudden:  Ao kao man gai nueng glap baan - You rice chicken yes go to condo mai?  <deleted> off.

[NanLaew]

Eagerly looking forward to the first the wai thread of 2024.

[Nick Carter icp]

I just thought, the people who Wai me and who I Wai back are paid to do it and they dont do it out of choice .

   Bank assistants Wai me and I Wai back . 

I doubt that they do it out of choice and they are told to Wai by the bank manager .

So, we are both Wai-ing each other and neither of us wants to be doing it 

[mlkik]

On 12/17/2023 at 1:15 AM, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   So you did queue jump .

I would have refused the offer to queue jump and respectfully told him that I would wait in line and wait until its my turn .

  All the serial Waiers can seen to be abusive online, is there any connection ?

Grovelling and being abusive, both sort of extremes 

I do neither 

Twa   t

[London Lowf]

My first close contact with a Thai was with a London escort over ten years ago – after she had "cleaned me up" and tied my shoelaces (in that odd way that they do) she gave me a wai as I departed, and I thought that it was really cute and very endearing. This became a weekly pursuit for me and was the reason that I became interested in holidaying in Thailand. The escorts always did this, and I regarded it as a respectful “Thank you” and I never felt an obligation to return it, although I always acknowledged it with a smile and a nod.

Now that I spend a lot of time in Thailand, albeit as a tourist, I am repeatedly waied by every bar and restaurant that I visit, and I have only ever returned it once* – it is a custom that I have not been bought up with. Maybe they think I am rude? It never stops them welcoming me as a regular customer.

The closest I have to a friend here started as a business relationship and he has never waied me, just handshakes, and neither does his wife or sister  – are they rude? But they are Muslim and so that makes me think that it is primarily a Budhist custom rather than a universal Thai one.

I always use the same driver (a Muslim friend of theirs) for the airport run and pay over the odds for the convenience, his safe driving and good service and he has never waied me either. Does he hate me?

So, rightly or wrongly I have been conditioned over the last ten years to believe that it is initiated as a servile show of respect amongst Budhists – for that reason I have only ever waied once* and that was an IO who sorted out my incomplete paperwork for my first ever TR visa extension.

 

The most prolific waiers seem to be ladyboys who go absolutely OTT and make a huge show of it when they greet each other and then start complimenting each other on their clothes, figure and hair.

The second most prolific are the two-week millionaires who have been relieved of thousands in the tourist bars and restaurants – it makes me cringe to see that. Maybe they're the good guys and I am the clickhead? It doesn't keep me awake at night.

If the Thai authorities had more respect for me rather than making me jump through hoops (even a simple 60-day TR visa and extension is a pain) and dreaming up threatening tax schemes then I would seriously consider relocating – in which case I would feel more inclined to fit in with the majority. As it is, I always feel that I am an outsider but that suits me just fine at the moment.

 

 

[Nick Carter icp]

13 hours ago, mlkik said:

Twa   t

 

  Why are you saying that ?

Are you saying that about the Wai-ing queue jumper ?

[stoner]

12 hours ago, London Lowf said:

although I always acknowledged it with a smile and a nod.

 

and a fat stack of cash. 

[London Lowf]

3 hours ago, stoner said:

 

and a fat stack of cash. 

 

Exactly!