Brain Implants For: Canine Mood Disorders. Best Way to Control Barking?

[GammaGlobulin]

My Dearest Friends of TV,

 

How much longer must we wait for the US Navy to develop Brain Implants for our Lovable Canines, the very same ones that keep us up at night with incessant and needless bark, bark, barking?

 

Here is an article which discusses progress being made by the US Navy for Mood Disorders in Human Beings.....but I don't care so much about this technology.

 

I just want everyone to have a wireless remote control to stop barking at the touch of a button, any time I feel like pressing it.

 

DARPA,  the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, seems to be making steady progress.

BUT, they are not even thinking of the most important use for this technology, which is to STOP the Canine in its bark, if not its tracks, altogether.

 

 

Read the article in Scientific American, if you have any interest in this Topic!!!!

 

So, the question is how much would you pay for a remote control, such as this, and....

Should this Canine Brain Implant, once perfected, be required for all dogs, as well as, maybe, for dog owners, too?

 

 

I would pay a lot for a wireless remote control, such as this.

And, I would also like the canine brain implant to cause any dog to immediately lie down when aggressively confronting me, with teeth bared, ready to bite.

 

Much superior to rabies jabs, after the fact of being bitten and mauled by a lousy (flea bitten) dog, IMHO.

 

Regards.

 

Gamma

 

 

Note:  Send me one for XMAS, if you know where to buy one!

 

 

[novacova]

Use a remote controlled electric shock zapper collar. When it barks, just push the button, the dog will learn very quickly.

[stoner]

 stop barking at the touch of a button.

 

oh the irony....

 

 

Edited December 24, 2023 by stoner

[GammaGlobulin]

27 minutes ago, novacova said:

Use a remote controlled electric shock zapper collar. When it barks, just push the button, the dog will learn very quickly.

 

But...

 

How to attach one to the neighbor's dog without the neighbor noticing?

 

This is the conundrum....

 

[connda]

Brain Implants For: Canine Mood Disorders. Best Way to Control Barking?

Go to a doctor.
Obtain a prescription for phenobarbital. 
Take prescription at 7PM.
Sleep
If you wake up - take more phenobarbital. 

Dogs bark.  That's what they do.  It isn't a disorder, it's a feature.

[TroubleandGrumpy]

On a serious note - I have been thinking about getting one of these devices to stop the neighbour's dog.

Crisis of Conscience – Ultrasonic – awesomedogs

I have even thought of what would be the 'best' way to use it.

My devious black heart said to turn it on all day full blast so the bastard animal cannot sleep, and then he will be too tired at night to bark at anything and everything that moves.  Perhaps that is going a step too far?? 

 

[TroubleandGrumpy]

3 minutes ago, connda said:

Brain Implants For: Canine Mood Disorders. Best Way to Control Barking?

Go to a doctor.
Obtain a prescription for phenobarbital. 
Take prescription at 7PM.
Sleep
If you wake up - take more phenobarbital. 

Dogs bark.  That's what they do.  It isn't a disorder, it's a feature.

Not in Thailand.  They are way more 'active' at night here than any dogs I have ever lived with or near in Australia. One reason I think that applies in Thailand is that they sleep a lot during the day here. 

[novacova]

36 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

But...

 

How to attach one to the neighbor's dog without the neighbor noticing?

 

This is the conundrum....

 

Disguise some cute little cartoon ornaments/decorations on the collar and give it to your neighbors as gift.

[GammaGlobulin]

21 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

On a serious note - I have been thinking about getting one of these devices to stop the neighbour's dog.

Crisis of Conscience – Ultrasonic – awesomedogs

I have even thought of what would be the 'best' way to use it.

My devious black heart said to turn it on all day full blast so the bastard animal cannot sleep, and then he will be too tired at night to bark at anything and everything that moves.  Perhaps that is going a step too far?? 

 

 

"Kip heard it.  He reacted badly, crouching low to the ground and then attempting to flee.  There is no doubt in my mind that he hated the ultrasonic."

 

Sounds good to me, anyway....

 

[GammaGlobulin]

9 minutes ago, novacova said:

Disguise some cute little cartoon ornaments/decorations on the collar and give it to your neighbors as gift.

 

XMAS is the time for giving!

 

 

[GammaGlobulin]

Maybe, until we get the Canine Brain Implant....

 

We should first import some Street-sweeper dog-sucking-up machines from the UK?

 

 

Of course, in past years, I have owned a dog, a Taiwan aboriginal dog, that I loved dearly.

 

Such a smart dog, too.

 

It's not that I do not very much love dogs...

 

It's just that....

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

If it's your dog, euthanasia normally works, but the neighbour might be upset if done to their dog.

Dogs normally bark a lot if neglected, so you could try making friends with it.