Divorced couple, legal father, mother dissappeared

[yaronf]

After a fight the mother dissappeared, wont pick up calls, blocked everything. Left child behind.
Happened once before, gone for 2 months but at least then she spoke, kept in touch.
This time much worse, kid is 2, obviously its bad for him these "breaks", im taking care of him fully, and willing to take full custody or shared, but 0 cooperation from her side, worried she will come fight for him after a few months.
Whats the best and fastest way to go about this?
Are courts quick here? How are my chances? Really not looking to get into a war but she is leaving me no choice

[Callmeishmael]

1st step:  Make sure that the child has a passport from your home country.

[IvorBiggun2]

Quote

 

Under the Thai Child Custody Law, both parents of a child have full custody rights over a child. However, for unmarried couples, biological fathers do not have custodial rights unless with a legal order from court.

 

Good luck. Google is your friend.

[Liverpool Lou]

9 minutes ago, yaronf said:

Whats the best and fastest way to go about this?

If she refuses to co-operate court is the only way.  Are you legally married, your name is on the child's birth certificate?

[brianthainess]

Send her a message saying you want to give Xxxxx amount of money, I'm sure she'll respond.

[KhunLA]

First, is the kid yours ?

 

If not, I would cut my losses before getting too attached.   Hopefully you are renting.  Drop kid off at her parents, and file for divorce, for abandonment now.   Then go far far away  from her village.

 

Return to amphur office to pick up final divorce when time allotment has passed.

 

OR ... expect to be treated like a doormat the rest of you life.

 

First time my 1st Thai wife didn't come home at night, my buddy called (married to her cousin) and said she'll be back in a day or 2.   I said ... 'no, she won't' 

 

He's like, yea, she will ... I'm like, you're not listening ... 'no, she won't'

OH, it hit him.   Within the hour she's knocking on the door, "what, you don't want me back ?'   "NOPE, has a nice life, BYE" 

[ChipButty]

3 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Send her a message saying you want to give Xxxxx amount of money, I'm sure she'll respond.

I knew of a case some years ago, when money became involved the deal was done,

[ChipButty]

5 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

First, is the kid yours ?

 

If not, I would cut my losses before getting too attached.   Hopefully you are renting.  Drop kid off at her parents, and file for divorce, for abandonment now.   Then go far far away  from her village.

 

Return to amphur office to pick up final divorce when time allotment has passed.

 

OR ... expect to be treated like a doormat the rest of you life.

 

First time my 1st Thai wife didn't come home at night, my buddy called (married to her cousin) and said she'll be back in a day or 2.   I said ... 'no, she won't' 

 

He's like, yea, she will ... I'm like, you're not listening ... 'no, she won't'

OH, it hit him.   Within the hour she's knocking on the door, "what, you don't want me back ?'   "NOPE, has a nice life, BYE" 

It says Legal father so Im guessing yes

[ChipButty]

7 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

First, is the kid yours ?

 

If not, I would cut my losses before getting too attached.   Hopefully you are renting.  Drop kid off at her parents, and file for divorce, for abandonment now.   Then go far far away  from her village.

 

Return to amphur office to pick up final divorce when time allotment has passed.

 

OR ... expect to be treated like a doormat the rest of you life.

 

First time my 1st Thai wife didn't come home at night, my buddy called (married to her cousin) and said she'll be back in a And, or 2.   I said ... 'no, she won't' 

 

He's like, yea, she will ... I'm like, you're not listening ... 'no, she won't'

OH, it hit him.   Within the hour she's knocking on the door, "what, you don't want me back ?'   "NOPE, has a nice life, BYE" 

And I've packed your bags for you, 

[yaronf]

33 minutes ago, Callmeishmael said:

1st step:  Make sure that the child has a passport from your home country.

Done, what does it matter? I need her permission to take him out no?

[yaronf]

31 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

First, is the kid yours ?

 

If not, I would cut my losses before getting too attached.   Hopefully you are renting.  Drop kid off at her parents, and file for divorce, for abandonment now.   Then go far far away  from her village.

 

Return to amphur office to pick up final divorce when time allotment has passed.

 

OR ... expect to be treated like a doormat the rest of you life.

 

First time my 1st Thai wife didn't come home at night, my buddy called (married to her cousin) and said she'll be back in a day or 2.   I said ... 'no, she won't' 

 

He's like, yea, she will ... I'm like, you're not listening ... 'no, she won't'

OH, it hit him.   Within the hour she's knocking on the door, "what, you don't want me back ?'   "NOPE, has a nice life, BYE" 

Yes kid is mine, already divorced years ago, legalized as a father a while ago.

Not looking to dump him

[scorecard]

On 9/13/2024 at 11:38 AM, Callmeishmael said:

1st step:  Make sure that the child has a passport from your home country.

And make sure you have originals or copies of all documents for the child and the marriage all under lock and key.

[MalcolmB]

On 9/13/2024 at 12:14 PM, yaronf said:

Yes kid is mine, already divorced years ago, legalized as a father a while ago.

Not looking to dump him

Divorced years ago but the kid is 2?

[dlclark97]

On 9/13/2024 at 12:12 PM, yaronf said:

Done, what does it matter? I need her permission to take him out no?

Yes, to take him out of the country you must have her written permission, or you will be denied travel at the airport or other place of legal departure from the country.  My stepdaughter from my wife's first husband had to provide this document before we could take an overseas holiday.

[stupidfarang]

On 9/13/2024 at 12:14 PM, yaronf said:

Yes kid is mine, already divorced years ago, legalized as a father a while ago.

Not looking to dump him

If you can arrange the correct papers to have her permission to travel outside of Thailand all lined up ready for her to sign, I would think of a reason for your travel, holiday to Vietnam for a week or parents haved died, a story to tell her, play as if you are only going for a short time, not as if for good. Do not argue, maybe as someone said offer some money to have it signed. It is a game of chess.

 

You mentioned you were married to her but divorced but are legalized as the father, check on the paperwork so there are no surprises for you. The other thing is you could try a land border crossing and see what happens, act as if you did not know you need papers to be signed. If you get turned back not a huge money loss.

 

Good luck

[yaronf]

6 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Divorced years ago but the kid is 2?

yup, he came after the divorce

[yaronf]

4 hours ago, dlclark97 said:

Yes, to take him out of the country you must have her written permission, or you will be denied travel at the airport or other place of legal departure from the country.  My stepdaughter from my wife's first husband had to provide this document before we could take an overseas holiday.

yeah so didnt get what difference does it make if i have a dual passport for him. the problem is she disappeared 

[yaronf]

4 hours ago, stupidfarang said:

If you can arrange the correct papers to have her permission to travel outside of Thailand all lined up ready for her to sign, I would think of a reason for your travel, holiday to Vietnam for a week or parents haved died, a story to tell her, play as if you are only going for a short time, not as if for good. Do not argue, maybe as someone said offer some money to have it signed. It is a game of chess.

 

You mentioned you were married to her but divorced but are legalized as the father, check on the paperwork so there are no surprises for you. The other thing is you could try a land border crossing and see what happens, act as if you did not know you need papers to be signed. If you get turned back not a huge money loss.

 

Good luck

i can arrange it all but she wont play along, dissappear, not replying to anything , not making contact, not even to see the kid, 0.
no surprises on the paperworks, im a legal father, besides, not like she tries to take him or anything, just radio silence, insane.

[john donson]

On 9/13/2024 at 11:38 AM, Callmeishmael said:

1st step:  Make sure that the child has a passport from your home country.

 

does not make one aota difference, cannot leave on a brand new FARANG passport... my embassy, when I went for 'help' told me, if I manage to get my kid out of thailand,  I would be arrest in my home country and my kid brought back to TH...  that was the 'help' I got ... mother also disappeared just before my visa extension, many moons ago...

 

cannot extend or change reason without divorce  or her present...

 

agents cannot help either...

[yaronf]

1 hour ago, john donson said:

 

does not make one aota difference, cannot leave on a brand new FARANG passport... my embassy, when I went for 'help' told me, if I manage to get my kid out of thailand,  I would be arrest in my home country and my kid brought back to TH...  that was the 'help' I got ... mother also disappeared just before my visa extension, many moons ago...

 

cannot extend or change reason without divorce  or her present...

 

agents cannot help either...

im curious, im on a non o supporting thai child visa, will i have a problem extending without her around ? 

[fredwiggy]

The best bet is court, having any evidence on what she's done. Thai courts favor the mother, which of course is prejudiced and wrong , but that's where you need to go. In actuality, having a passport for the child means your wife signed it, which in effect means the child can travel with you to your country. This isn't always the case, as immigration will usually want a letter from the mother,as I had to get, and again this year will get, to leave with the child. She has a stamp showing she left last year, but I will get a new letter just in case, as I don't want any problems at the airport. I've heard of many cases where one parent left with the child and immigration wasn't a problem, but you're always dealing with people, and they have many ways of thinking, even if it isn't right.

 

A court here will usually let the foreign parent take the child out of the country  to live as they all know most other countries will give the child a better life, meaning schools and their future itself. Is there any of her family she keeps in contact with you could talk to and pass information? I'm thinking you already tried this though. Her abandoning the child doesn't look good. In my case, my ex left her first child with her boyfriend's family and went to Bangkok to work. That was the last time she lived with her. She met another man, had another child, then I met here when the child was 5. After we married and I moved here, she had her second child live with grandma a 1/2 kilo away because she didn't want the responsibility. When the child turned 10, she sent her to live with her father. After awhile, she got her back when we went to the court for the divorce, then after the court gave us joint custody, with her living with her mom during the week, she sent the second daughter to live with the first daughter. This shows a pattern that the courts won't ignore, unless you get a moron for a judge. Past history shows future history. She knows my daughter will be living in the US, just that she doesn't understand it's going to be soon, before she's 10, so she can keep up with the school curriculum in English.

 

This is what I mean about keeping all evidence you have as the caretaker and that she prefers to be alone, or with other men, than her child. I had my daughter late last year for 9 months as she lived in Pattaya with her Thai boyfriend. She's coming back tomorrow after being with her new boyfriend in Germany. Pattern continues. Everyone knows I'm the primary caretaker and this will show if we ever had to return to court. I'm hoping she will just let her go, as she really doesn't care about children much if she isn't getting cash for them. If you need to extend the visa, you'll have to bring your child to immigration and re-do the paperwork. Not sure what they'll ask as abandonment is a touchy situation. Talk to a lawyer on this one.

Edited Sunday at 04:51 AM by fredwiggy

[geisha]

See a lawyer as soon as possible.Get as much paper work and proof of abandonment. Go from there.  Ask here for the best lawyer for your problem in the area where you are living. 

[scorecard]

On 9/14/2024 at 1:22 PM, scorecard said:

And make sure you have originals or copies of all documents for the child and the marriage all under lock and key.

 

Also, scan / photo all the documents and e.mail them to yourself as a back up.

[kwonitoy]

On 9/12/2024 at 10:30 PM, yaronf said:

After a fight the mother dissappeared, wont pick up calls, blocked everything. Left child behind.
Happened once before, gone for 2 months but at least then she spoke, kept in touch.
This time much worse, kid is 2, obviously its bad for him these "breaks", im taking care of him fully, and willing to take full custody or shared, but 0 cooperation from her side, worried she will come fight for him after a few months.
Whats the best and fastest way to go about this?
Are courts quick here? How are my chances? Really not looking to get into a war but she is leaving me no choice

 

Get a family lawyer

 

Have the lawyer file a custody claim with family social services.

About a 1 month wait, then

When summoned by family social services you will have to give a lengthy statement on the reasons for wanting sole custody (full parental powers is the legal term)

My interview took about 2 hours.

Bring a translator with you if needed

you have to bring a corroborating witness to your claim, they will be interview separately

These statements are then forwarded to the court.

Your child's mother will also be notified by the court by letter to her official address

the court will notify your lawyer as to the date and time of the custody hearing, about 2 months in my case. 

In court you will be sworn in, the judge will have the family social services interview document and if the mother shows up then there will be a deliberation by the judge and a decision handed down.

My ex didn't show in court, ( she was in prison at the time) and I was awarded full parental powers along with a four page document with lots of official stamps on it.

I've since left Thailand for my home country and the documents were very closely scrutinized by Immigration at swampy and I and my son were passed through, never to return to Thailand ever again.

 

Best of luck to you

In a corrupt country family social services and family court are absolutely 100% only concerned with what is best for the child