The Expat Test

[JimsKnight]

Andrew Hicks graces us with his presence!

Hmm, maybe I should of added a writer occupation to the E.T

Every 6 months or so I'll be publishing a revised E.T on TV so don't worry all your comments will be considered for inclusion on revised E.T

Raro,

(Long Section)

Thats a good question about the Offshore workers scoring higher than the workers in Thailand and I will give my answer.

Single offshore workers (and some married ones) typically prefer Thailand as the residence of choice on their 2-8 weeks off. Oil industry has superior job security, meaning the choice of residence is unlikely to change due to work difficulties.

The usual reasons, cheap living, cheap flying (especially from the Middle East) and the party atmosphere that eminates from BKK and Thailand in general.

Oil / Gas workers are typically on Mega-bucks, party like rockstars and spend like there is no tomorrow upon hitting the tarmac at Suvarn. BKK.

As such they are highly desirable to Thailands economy, plus all of the local areas they live in.

Teachers, by the very nature of their work patterns tend to be the complete opposite in mentality and spending patterns. Job security is dependant on the whims of government and pay is a lot lower

Therefore in the eyes of the Thais, the Economy and the Expat Test it would seem reasonable to assume that someone who is an offshore worker is on a (slightly) higher score than a teacher. I'm not getting at teachers and what they do, but although the english teachers are important for the thai kids Raro but lets not kid ourselves that, in the status quo of things, the english skills may talk the talk, but the big money from oil walks the walk...

:D

Edited August 5, 2007 by JimsKnight

[JetsetBkk]

It starts to rain, what do you do?

1 Complain because you are afraid your tan is fading 0

2 Complain because you need to walk through it to work 2

3 Celebrate because your rice crop has been saved 5

Do you drive on the left? ... 0

Do you overtake on the left? ... 3

Do you join the convoy through a red traffic light ... 5

[Dustoff]

32 but claiming 8 because I resist being labeled.

[jackr]

26

[lampard10]

54 1/2................................but I do have three cars, six motorbikes and three houses.

[Who, me ?]

30..............

[thaihome]

Rather slanted for stereotypical Thailand expats in what I assume is a tongue in check manner

Stage one - Length of Stay, travel and documentation.

How many times have you visited thailand previously?

Never - 0

1 to 5 times - 1

6 to 10 times - 2

10 times + - 3

Visited over 10 times with my wife (who I meet before ever coming to Thailand) before being sent here to work by company.

What plane ticket did you arrive in the country on?

A closed Return ticket - 0

An open 6 month return - 1.5

A one-way all or nothing ticket! - 2

One way company provided

What visa is currently stamped in your passport?

A tourist visa - 0

A double entry tourist visa - 1

A single entry visa non-imm 'o' - 2

A multi entry visa non-imm 'o' - 3

non-imm 'b' (business visa) - 4

Retirement visa! - 6

I don't need a visa stamp! I hold a thai passport/citizenship! - 15

What about a one year type B extension and re-entry permit? say 5 points to differentiate between people with non-imm B that make 90 day entry stamp runs

Stage 2 - Country specific questions...

What driving license do you hold?

None - 0

UK/Intl. driving license (bike or car) - 1

Thai driving license (car) - 3

Thai driving license (bike and car) - 4

Valid US (have renewed twice on company provided home leaves) and Thai. So that is 4 points?

How much thai language can you speak?

Nothing apart from very rudimentary basic bargirl thai phrases! - 0

Basic phrases and numbers - 0.5

Colloquial thai - 2

Advanced thai (hold a v. good conversation) - 3

Fluent/Native speaker thai (and writing) – 5

Basic only.

What line of work are you involved in?

Nothing at all! - 1 ( 2 If Retired)

Teacher / Divemaster - 2

Dive Instructor / Bar Manager (can also be silent investor partner) - 3

Company / Office worker - 4

Offshore work (Middle East, Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 4.5

Offshore work in thailand (Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 5

What if we manage offshore work in Thailand (as well as onshore work in Thailand) and make more then they do? Is that a 6 points?

If you are working in Thailand do you hold a work permit?

No - 0 (You cheeky monkey!)

Yes - 3

Work permit

What is your accommodation?

Hotel - 0

Guesthouse - 1

Renting a House / Apartment - 2

Ownership of a house (via a company) - 3

Ownership of house (via a thai) - 3.5

What if Thai wife owns house and company pays her rent (100k+ a month)? 4 points?

What vehicles do you have as your own?

Nothing - 0

Bicycle - 0.5

Motorbike (Rental) - 1

Motorbike (owned in thai name without access to papers) - 1.5

Motorbike (owned in thai name with papers) - 2.5

Motorbike (owned in your name with papers) - 3.5

Car (owned in a thai name without access to papers) - 3

Car (owned in a thai name with access papers) - 4

Car (owned in your name with papers) - 5

What if company provides car and driver? 6 points?

What finances support your living while in thailand?

Cash in the bank - 1

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets - 2

Cash in the bank + income from work - 3

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets and income from work - 4

I have so much cash i never have to worry about other sources of income!! - 10

What if get full US salary with increase for overseas assignment? 5 points?

What best describes your own psyche/character in Thailand?

A tattooed, unrepentant, border-line psychotic criminal on-the-run type, from whom no man, woman or child is safe! - Minus 5

A hard drinking, grizzled, reckless womaniser who is ok in small doses around other (more balanced) expats - Minus 2

A married, hard working person who just wants to settle down with his new children in retirement - 2

An Indiana Jones type of guy; a bit of a ladies man/sugar daddy, bit rough around the edges, enjoys a few drinks here and there with the boys, travels about a bit and is a good friend to others - 2

An quiet, contented, enigmatic, mysterious person. Your a solitary kind of guy who has few friends, but prefer your own company. Everyone see's you around, but nobodys quite sure what the h_ell you're up to. Is he a teacher? A Divemaster? Who knows? - 2

A well-connected person who is on a long-term expat retirement package and quite frankly, has never had it this good compared to the others - 3

A creative genius / eccentric who is on a once in a life time quest to try and better themselves and others while going with the flow of Thailands many quirks and oddities. - 3.5

What if you are happily married and have worked overseas for many years in many countries (accompanied by Thai wife) and are now on long term assignment in Thailand?

4 points

My score is with added responses and points is:

42.5

[Neeranam]

Nothing great about being an expat. 29

[canuckamuck]

28.5

[theseveredhead]

FLAWED:

Stage one - Length of Stay, travel and documentation.

How many times have you visited thailand previously?

Never - 0

1 to 5 times - 1

6 to 10 times - 2

10 times + - 3

>> how about over 50?

What plane ticket did you arrive in the country on?

A closed Return ticket - 0

An open 6 month return - 1.5

A one-way all or nothing ticket! - 2

>> HOW ABOUT R/T BOUGHT IN THAILAND! seems same as ow or more hardcore

What visa is currently stamped in your passport?

A tourist visa - 0

A double entry tourist visa - 1

A single entry visa non-imm 'o' - 2

A multi entry visa non-imm 'o' - 3

non-imm 'b' (business visa) - 4

Retirement visa! - 6

I don't need a visa stamp! I hold a thai passport/citizenship! - 15

>>> this is total bullshix. some idiot gets 6 points because he scored his first retirement visa but ive been dodging borders for 15 years and get a big zero. LAMENESS squared.

Stage 2 - Country specific questions...

What driving license do you hold?

None - 0

UK/Intl. driving license (bike or car) - 1

Thai driving license (car) - 3

Thai driving license (bike and car) - 4

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? I WOULD NEVER DRIVE MYSELF ANYWHERE IN THAILAND. not only a huge danger but huge liability. for me ... farang drivers = rude AND morons.

How much thai language can you speak?

Nothing apart from very rudimentary basic bargirl thai phrases! - 0

Basic phrases and numbers - 0.5

Colloquial thai - 2

Advanced thai (hold a v. good conversation) - 3

Fluent/Native speaker thai (and writing) - 5

THERE IS A BIG SPACE BETWEEN NUMBERS AND PHRASES AND BASIC THAI - DUH!

What line of work are you involved in?

Nothing at all! - 1 ( 2 If Retired)

Teacher / Divemaster - 2

Dive Instructor / Bar Manager (can also be silent investor partner) - 3

Company / Office worker - 4

Offshore work (Middle East, Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 4.5

Offshore work in thailand (Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 5

AGAIN.. biased (I BET YOUR EMPLOYED IN OIL HUH?! JUST A GUESS. MAYBE A REAL EXPAT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE HE OWNS HIMSELF. HE IS A FREE MAN.

If you are working in Thailand do you hold a work permit?

No - 0 (You cheeky monkey!)

Yes - 3

HERE - IF YOU DONT WORK YOU CANT SCORE ANYPOINTS - BIAS again!

What is your accommodation?

Hotel - 0

Guesthouse - 1

Renting a House / Apartment - 2

Ownership of a house (via a company) - 3

Ownership of house (via a thai) - 3.5

AGAIN BIAS - THIS IS BACKWARD. IF YOU LIVE LIKE A THAI YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE POINTS, LESS POINTS FOR LIVING LIKE A WESTERNER. THIS IS THAILAND NO?!

What vehicles do you have as your own?

Nothing - 0

Bicycle - 0.5

Motorbike (Rental) - 1

Motorbike (owned in thai name without access to papers) - 1.5

Motorbike (owned in thai name with papers) - 2.5

Motorbike (owned in your name with papers) - 3.5

Car (owned in a thai name without access to papers) - 3

Car (owned in a thai name with access papers) - 4

Car (owned in your name with papers) - 5

THIS IS TOTALLY PATHETIC. EVEN IN THE WEST TRANSPORT IS NOT CONSIDERED ASSET. WHY ANYONE WOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUY ANYTHING HERE IS BEYOND ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT YOU AWARD NOT ONLY POINTS BUT THE MORE YOU SPEND THE MORE POINTS YOU WIN. WALKING IS GREEN AS WELL - YOU SHOULD NOT GET POINTS FOR BRINGING YOUR BAD CULTURE WITH YOU.

What finances support your living while in thailand?

Cash in the bank - 1

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets - 2

Cash in the bank + income from work - 3

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets and income from work - 4

I have so much cash i never have to worry about other sources of income!! - 10

THIS IS TOTALLY STUPID! YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE XTRA POINTS BASED ON AGE. THIS THING JUST GETS STUPID (MORE) BY THE QUESTION. BET YOU ARE A #4 HUH?? FEEL GOOD?

What best describes your own psyche/character in Thailand?

A tattooed, unrepentant, border-line psychotic criminal on-the-run type, from whom no man, woman or child is safe! - Minus 5

A hard drinking, grizzled, reckless womaniser who is ok in small doses around other (more balanced) expats - Minus 2

A married, hard working person who just wants to settle down with his new children in retirement - 2

An Indiana Jones type of guy; a bit of a ladies man/sugar daddy, bit rough around the edges, enjoys a few drinks here and there with the boys, travels about a bit and is a good friend to others - 2

An quiet, contented, enigmatic, mysterious person. Your a solitary kind of guy who has few friends, but prefer your own company. Everyone see's you around, but nobodys quite sure what the h_ell you're up to. Is he a teacher? A Divemaster? Who knows? - 2

A well-connected person who is on a long-term expat retirement package and quite frankly, has never had it this good compared to the others - 3

A creative genius / eccentric who is on a once in a life time quest to try and better themselves and others while going with the flow of Thailands many quirks and oddities. - 3.5

IM JUST NOT GETTING ASSIGNING POINTS TO THIS PART AT ALL.

PRETTY INSULTING AND VERY UNCERATIVE PAL -

[JimsKnight]

FLAWED:

Stage one - Length of Stay, travel and documentation.

How many times have you visited thailand previously?

Never - 0

1 to 5 times - 1

6 to 10 times - 2

10 times + - 3

>> how about over 50?

>>>>10+ is over 50. In fact someone who has been that many times must either be a global super expat/diplomat, or a perpetual tourist.

What plane ticket did you arrive in the country on?

A closed Return ticket - 0

An open 6 month return - 1.5

A one-way all or nothing ticket! - 2

>> HOW ABOUT R/T BOUGHT IN THAILAND! seems same as ow or more hardcore

>>>>Then score it as 2 then.

What visa is currently stamped in your passport?

A tourist visa - 0

A double entry tourist visa - 1

A single entry visa non-imm 'o' - 2

A multi entry visa non-imm 'o' - 3

non-imm 'b' (business visa) - 4

Retirement visa! - 6

I don't need a visa stamp! I hold a thai passport/citizenship! - 15

>>> this is total bullshix. some idiot gets 6 points because he scored his first retirement visa but ive been dodging borders for 15 years and get a big zero. LAMENESS squared.

>>>>Thats right head you score zero, got a problem with that? Get your arse over to a consulate and get a proper visa like the rest of us.

Stage 2 - Country specific questions...

What driving license do you hold?

None - 0

UK/Intl. driving license (bike or car) - 1

Thai driving license (car) - 3

Thai driving license (bike and car) - 4

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? I WOULD NEVER DRIVE MYSELF ANYWHERE IN THAILAND. not only a huge danger but huge liability. for me ... farang drivers = rude AND morons.

>>>Don't be such a pussycat and live a little you might even enjoy it.

How much thai language can you speak?

Nothing apart from very rudimentary basic bargirl thai phrases! - 0

Basic phrases and numbers - 0.5

Colloquial thai - 2

Advanced thai (hold a v. good conversation) - 3

Fluent/Native speaker thai (and writing) - 5

THERE IS A BIG SPACE BETWEEN NUMBERS AND PHRASES AND BASIC THAI - DUH!

>>Sorry I'll just go and redraft the thing cause of a niggle your brain has

What line of work are you involved in?

Nothing at all! - 1 ( 2 If Retired)

Teacher / Divemaster - 2

Dive Instructor / Bar Manager (can also be silent investor partner) - 3

Company / Office worker - 4

Offshore work (Middle East, Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 4.5

Offshore work in thailand (Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 5

AGAIN.. biased (I BET YOUR EMPLOYED IN OIL HUH?! JUST A GUESS. MAYBE A REAL EXPAT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE HE OWNS HIMSELF. HE IS A FREE MAN.

>>>Sure am greenie! But then again if your working at least your active and doing something, instead of wasting away whinging at others all the time. Also re-read the question as 'Retired' (living free ) is in there and scores 2:)

If you are working in Thailand do you hold a work permit?

No - 0 (You cheeky monkey!)

Yes - 3

HERE - IF YOU DONT WORK YOU CANT SCORE ANYPOINTS - BIAS again!

>>>Read the question (again)

What is your accommodation?

Hotel - 0

Guesthouse - 1

Renting a House / Apartment - 2

Ownership of a house (via a company) - 3

Ownership of house (via a thai) - 3.5

AGAIN BIAS - THIS IS BACKWARD. IF YOU LIVE LIKE A THAI YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE POINTS, LESS POINTS FOR LIVING LIKE A WESTERNER. THIS IS THAILAND NO?!

>>Sorry should we just act like we are on holiday and stay in a hotel for years on end? I don't think so.

What vehicles do you have as your own?

Nothing - 0

Bicycle - 0.5

Motorbike (Rental) - 1

Motorbike (owned in thai name without access to papers) - 1.5

Motorbike (owned in thai name with papers) - 2.5

Motorbike (owned in your name with papers) - 3.5

Car (owned in a thai name without access to papers) - 3

Car (owned in a thai name with access papers) - 4

Car (owned in your name with papers) - 5

THIS IS TOTALLY PATHETIC. EVEN IN THE WEST TRANSPORT IS NOT CONSIDERED ASSET. WHY ANYONE WOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUY ANYTHING HERE IS BEYOND ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT YOU AWARD NOT ONLY POINTS BUT THE MORE YOU SPEND THE MORE POINTS YOU WIN. WALKING IS GREEN AS WELL - YOU SHOULD NOT GET POINTS FOR BRINGING YOUR BAD CULTURE WITH YOU.

>>Gosh, bring on the green brigade! We've got a real live wire here!

If you don't like technological advances then get back to your hippy dippy commune and start whining about the state of the planet to Greenpeace.

What finances support your living while in thailand?

Cash in the bank - 1

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets - 2

Cash in the bank + income from work - 3

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets and income from work - 4

I have so much cash i never have to worry about other sources of income!! - 10

THIS IS TOTALLY STUPID! YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE XTRA POINTS BASED ON AGE. THIS THING JUST GETS STUPID (MORE) BY THE QUESTION. BET YOU ARE A #4 HUH?? FEEL GOOD?

>>>Feels great actually But whats age got to do with it? I'm still in my 20s so is that ageist?

I guess your anti-capitalist then? And feel everyone should be skint all their lives spending it on crp or just preaching the socialistic garbage?

What best describes your own psyche/character in Thailand?

A tattooed, unrepentant, border-line psychotic criminal on-the-run type, from whom no man, woman or child is safe! - Minus 5

A hard drinking, grizzled, reckless womaniser who is ok in small doses around other (more balanced) expats - Minus 2

A married, hard working person who just wants to settle down with his new children in retirement - 2

An Indiana Jones type of guy; a bit of a ladies man/sugar daddy, bit rough around the edges, enjoys a few drinks here and there with the boys, travels about a bit and is a good friend to others - 2

An quiet, contented, enigmatic, mysterious person. Your a solitary kind of guy who has few friends, but prefer your own company. Everyone see's you around, but nobodys quite sure what the h_ell you're up to. Is he a teacher? A Divemaster? Who knows? - 2

A well-connected person who is on a long-term expat retirement package and quite frankly, has never had it this good compared to the others - 3

A creative genius / eccentric who is on a once in a life time quest to try and better themselves and others while going with the flow of Thailands many quirks and oddities. - 3.5

IM JUST NOT GETTING ASSIGNING POINTS TO THIS PART AT ALL.

>>>>You're not a minus 5 are you!?

Heres one for you ---- A barefoot left-wing fruitcake who wants to change the world into their warped version of 'The Good Life' minus 10

PRETTY INSULTING AND VERY UNCERATIVE PAL -

Not insulting unless you consider wanting to do well for yourself and enjoying a healthy expat lifestyle is an insult. In which case you shouldn't even be on TV spouting such garbage.

Listen headman, if you feel that collecting a library of tourist-visa stamps while detesting other expats (which make up TV) who've been successful through hard work and have built a new life here then roll on the changes that eradicate your breed from Thailand. Thailand is not in the 60s or 70s now you know!

BTW Using capitals is SHOUTING and can be construed as flaming and we would want that.

This isn't setting in stone what should be and should not be an Expat, but does serve as a guide. So cool your severed little heels, knock back a few whiskeys and imagine how much carbon was released during the time you've been reading this post

Edited August 6, 2007 by JimsKnight

[bkkmadness]

It is a totally flawed test.

[cdnvic]

I failed, but so what? 21 years here speaks for itself. I couldn't care less what labels you want to hand out.

Then why did you take the test?

[JimsKnight]

Indeed Cdnvic, I meant the test as a guide and a bit of fun at the same time. It seems that some TV folk really, really take up arms if something bursts their little bubble.

Maybe I should add an exclusion policy next time to the effect of:Anyone offended by capitalist notions/motor vehicles/decent careers etc had better not even LOOK at the Expat Test.

Next on the Thai Visa stage we have the Liberal Left Loonies with the song: Rage against the Lame E.T!

Play the music boys

Followed by the Right To The Rigs singing: Blast those Reds!

Edited August 6, 2007 by JimsKnight

[dogblower]

Then why did you take the test?

Just curious to see what someone else thinks an expat is. Obviously we don't agree. Or should I say, I think his definition is biased to his own circumstances and excludes many who would also consider themselves expats.

[mrtoad]

To be honest who cares what an expat is. As long as your happy with your own life, that should be all that matters.

[JimsKnight]

In wooly, perfect world-land it would be Mr Toad, however when expats often get together the definition of expat is open to interpretation based on the status quo.

A penniless, downtrodden foreigner who is living on the bones of his arse and hassling someone for money everyday may feel happy and contented in what they do every day.

A sucessful foreigner employed by a multi-national company may feel happy and contented. If you asked either of them if they considered themselves an expat, the answer from the latter will surely be yes. From the former, I'm not so sure if they'd consider themselves one.

The test is a bit controversial to some people but love it or hate it this 'style'/stance is as pretty middle-of-the-road. Enjoy the test folks.

[LinkPopularity]

expat;

noun

a person who is voluntarily absent from home or country.

ok?

that's all there is to it !

get a life !

[PeaceBlondie]

Nice little test. It would provide a half hour of lively conversation down at the pub. My score, 32.5 points. I assumed that throwing away the return ticket (because round trip fare was cheaper) counts as a one way ticket. I do think having long term visa counts, and type of housing means something. Of course, it was a laugh, often. I'm not a ladie's man, but I chose the one that was kind of bon vivant.

Maybe I missed it, but none of the questions was about relationship to a significant partner. Are you saying that a wife and luk krung kids wouldn't tie you down more than a motosai and an old pickup in your own name?

[technocracy]

Dear me! Reading some of these responses it seems that some folks on here obviously have used the cheap medical care in Thailand to have a sense of humour bypass!!!

In a corrected Laos test which I am knacked at scoring highly due to lack of visa options here I get 25... I guess when I get my finger out and get a full working visa I'll be in the upper echelons! :D

[Sanpatong]

The orginal poster seems to have expat confused with retiree..

Anyway I couldn't find a good response to most questions.

I consider myself passed.

[richard10365]

I ended up with 27 points but had to modify a few questions.

How many times have you visited thailand previously?

I came here one time.....and only left to get a new visa.

How much thai language can you speak?

I can speak enough to get by but I can also read and write Thai as well. I just don't know what I am reading when I read it. (I have almost the same problem in English...hahaha) I gave myself 3 points for this.

What line of work are you involved in?

I am retired, but just started school on Friday to earn a BA degree in CIS. It's a 4 year course in English in Chiang Mai.

I gave myself 3 points for this one.

It was an amusing test. Thanks Jim.

[JetsetBkk]

FLAWED:

THIS IS TOTALLY PATHETIC. EVEN IN THE WEST TRANSPORT IS NOT CONSIDERED ASSET. WHY ANYONE WOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUY ANYTHING HERE IS BEYOND ME

THIS IS TOTALLY STUPID! YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE XTRA POINTS BASED ON AGE. THIS THING JUST GETS STUPID (MORE) BY THE QUESTION. BET YOU ARE A #4 HUH?? FEEL GOOD?

IM JUST NOT GETTING THIS PART AT ALL.

Thanks for the laugh. Please collect your sense of humour on the way out.

[wileycoyote]

12

But I'm happy

Wiley Coyote

[lazeeboy]

Are you an Expat???

Am I an Expat??

Theres no easy way of explaining this one, Dr Burito has polled for what defines an Expat. But in lifes quest for answers on whether you ARE an expat look no further than taking the Jims Knight Patented 'EXPAT TEST!' Smile

INSTRUCTIONS FOR UNDERTAKING THE EXPAT TEST!

The more points you attain the better.....

For each question (truthfully) choose only one answer that applies to you....

If there is no such answer contact the author for finesse point allocation!

No cheating, talking or other mischief! The Moderators are now Invigilating!

The time allowed for this test is 10 minutes or the time it takes the Moderating king to drink 4 Bottles of Chang! Cheers

Enough said and let the test begin!

Stage one - Length of Stay, travel and documentation.

How many times have you visited thailand previously?

Never - 0

1 to 5 times - 1

6 to 10 times - 2

10 times + - 3

What plane ticket did you arrive in the country on?

A closed Return ticket - 0

An open 6 month return - 1.5

A one-way all or nothing ticket! - 2

What visa is currently stamped in your passport?

A tourist visa - 0

A double entry tourist visa - 1

A single entry visa non-imm 'o' - 2

A multi entry visa non-imm 'o' - 3

non-imm 'b' (business visa) - 4

Retirement visa! - 6

I don't need a visa stamp! I hold a thai passport/citizenship! - 15

Stage 2 - Country specific questions...

What driving license do you hold?

None - 0

UK/Intl. driving license (bike or car) - 1

Thai driving license (car) - 3

Thai driving license (bike and car) - 4

How much thai language can you speak?

Nothing apart from very rudimentary basic bargirl thai phrases! - 0

Basic phrases and numbers - 0.5

Colloquial thai - 2

Advanced thai (hold a v. good conversation) - 3

Fluent/Native speaker thai (and writing) - 5

What line of work are you involved in?

Nothing at all! - 1 ( 2 If Retired)

Teacher / Divemaster - 2

Dive Instructor / Bar Manager (can also be silent investor partner) - 3

Company / Office worker - 4

Offshore work (Middle East, Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 4.5

Offshore work in thailand (Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 5

If you are working in Thailand do you hold a work permit?

No - 0 (You cheeky monkey!)

Yes - 3

What is your accommodation?

Hotel - 0

Guesthouse - 1

Renting a House / Apartment - 2

Ownership of a house (via a company) - 3

Ownership of house (via a thai) - 3.5

What vehicles do you have as your own?

Nothing - 0

Bicycle - 0.5

Motorbike (Rental) - 1

Motorbike (owned in thai name without access to papers) - 1.5

Motorbike (owned in thai name with papers) - 2.5

Motorbike (owned in your name with papers) - 3.5

Car (owned in a thai name without access to papers) - 3

Car (owned in a thai name with access papers) - 4

Car (owned in your name with papers) - 5

What finances support your living while in thailand?

Cash in the bank - 1

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets - 2

Cash in the bank + income from work - 3

Cash in the bank + income from pension / assets and income from work - 4

I have so much cash i never have to worry about other sources of income!! - 10

What best describes your own psyche/character in Thailand?

A tattooed, unrepentant, border-line psychotic criminal on-the-run type, from whom no man, woman or child is safe! - Minus 5

A hard drinking, grizzled, reckless womaniser who is ok in small doses around other (more balanced) expats - Minus 2

A married, hard working person who just wants to settle down with his new children in retirement - 2

An Indiana Jones type of guy; a bit of a ladies man/sugar daddy, bit rough around the edges, enjoys a few drinks here and there with the boys, travels about a bit and is a good friend to others - 2

An quiet, contented, enigmatic, mysterious person. Your a solitary kind of guy who has few friends, but prefer your own company. Everyone see's you around, but nobodys quite sure what the h_ell you're up to. Is he a teacher? A Divemaster? Who knows? - 2

A well-connected person who is on a long-term expat retirement package and quite frankly, has never had it this good compared to the others - 3

A creative genius / eccentric who is on a once in a life time quest to try and better themselves and others while going with the flow of Thailands many quirks and oddities. - 3.5

END OF TEST

This concludes the EXPAT TEST! Please sign your test sheets accordingly and pass them to a moderator for marking!

Well lets see how you've done.

SCORES -

2 - 8 points. Fail! The results seem to indicate you are a tourist! Enjoy you're stay! Grade F-

9 - 17 points. Fail! But this result seems to show you have some roots here in thailand but you still need some effort to get towards the next step in expatdom! Grade D+

18 - 26 points. Border-line Pass! This score indicates you are either an expat or Semi-Expat, based here in thailand for short to long durations at time. You can consider this score showing you to be an 'Honoury Expat!'. Look out for deserving expat-wannabes! They may need your help in passing the test! Grade B- Smile

27 + points. Pass! WELL DONE! You have passed the Expat Test with flying colours! With this accolade Thailand is surely yours for the taking! Just take care out there on your adventures! Grade A+

If you are brave enough, submit your scores by replying below for all of TV to see what status is really behind the Username

Jimsknight: 23.5 points.

got a score of 26.5 lived here without going home for 13 years ,only makes me a border line expat

[bangkoksingapore]

why is it better to work offshore then to be retired?

[englishoak]

I stopped taking tests when I left Uni

[JetsetBkk]

why is it better to work offshore then to be retired?

Indeed!

I think these are bass-ackwards:

What line of work are you involved in?

Nothing at all! - 1 ( 2 If Retired)

Teacher / Divemaster - 2

Dive Instructor / Bar Manager (can also be silent investor partner) - 3

Company / Office worker - 4

Offshore work (Middle East, Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 4.5

Offshore work in thailand (Rigs, DSVs, FPSOs etc) - 5

Should get more points for doing nothing or being retired - it means you want to be here rather than being forced to be here because of work.

And this one:

If you are working in Thailand do you hold a work permit?

No - 0 (You cheeky monkey!)

Yes - 3

- should have one more entry:

"I don't need to work" - 5

[maisampatpom]

grow up !

Here, here!

[PattayaParent]

Why no owning a condo option?