After A Lifetime Of Adventure, Why Is It Now So Hard To Pop Off?

[SoCal1990]

After nearly 30 years of unbound adventure in Asia, I’ve hit an unexpected wall in the bedroom.

In short, I’m finding it harder and harder to reach climax. I still enjoy sex as much as before, maybe even more now, thanks to a more adult mind that lets me appreciate the experience in a freer, more open way, with no shyness. The excitement is definitely still there too and I’m more in tune with what I like. But actually crossing that finish line? Not so much.

Looking back, I think about the sheer number of partners, easily into the hundreds by now if you assume even just one new one a month for decades. The variety has been unreal: women of different ages, backgrounds, and countries. And there’s been no shortage of intensity, some were absolute “freaks” in the sack, checking every box imaginable. The thrill of constant novelty, combined with the allure of fulfilling all kinds of fantasies, always kept things fresh and memorable. But now, it feels like that constant stimulation has trained my mind and body to expect... more even when I’m fully into the moment. It’s not that I don’t still have the same interest in sex, I do, but actually reaching that peak? My brain feels desensitized, wired to a high bar I didn’t even realize I’d set.

I’ve heard it compared to a kind of tolerance, like any intense experience you repeat over the years. The thrill wears off, even though it still feels thrilling, and then you need more to feel the same satisfaction. My body, in a way, has been “trained” by years of high-stimulation routines it seems. Now, in simpler moments, it’s harder to reach that point where things pop off. Those quieter, more ordinary (but still passionate) encounters? They just don’t trigger me the way they used to either.

Physically, I’m still in decent shape. I can get my heart rate up to 175 bpm without much trouble, so it’s not a physical limitation. But I do wonder if I’ve built a mental wall over time that’s tough to break through. The issue isn’t arousal either; I stay excited, functional, and can keep things going for a couple of hours at times. But actually busting a nut? That’s the elusive part.

So here I am wondering if anyone else experienced something similar after so many years of a similar lifestyle. I also hope one can somehow undo this conditioning and get back to a place where it’s easier to let one fly, or maybe this is the inevitable trade-off of chasing those high peaks for so long.

[soalbundy]

5 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:

After nearly 30 years of unbound adventure in Asia, I’ve hit an unexpected wall in the bedroom.

In short, I’m finding it harder and harder to reach climax. I still enjoy sex as much as before, maybe even more now, thanks to a more adult mind that lets me appreciate the experience in a freer, more open way, with no shyness. The excitement is definitely still there too and I’m more in tune with what I like. But actually crossing that finish line? Not so much.

Looking back, I think about the sheer number of partners, easily into the hundreds by now if you assume even just one new one a month for decades. The variety has been unreal: women of different ages, backgrounds, and countries. And there’s been no shortage of intensity, some were absolute “freaks” in the sack, checking every box imaginable. The thrill of constant novelty, combined with the allure of fulfilling all kinds of fantasies, always kept things fresh and memorable. But now, it feels like that constant stimulation has trained my mind and body to expect... more even when I’m fully into the moment. It’s not that I don’t still have the same interest in sex, I do, but actually reaching that peak? My brain feels desensitized, wired to a high bar I didn’t even realize I’d set.

I’ve heard it compared to a kind of tolerance, like any intense experience you repeat over the years. The thrill wears off, even though it still feels thrilling, and then you need more to feel the same satisfaction. My body, in a way, has been “trained” by years of high-stimulation routines it seems. Now, in simpler moments, it’s harder to reach that point where things pop off. Those quieter, more ordinary (but still passionate) encounters? They just don’t trigger me the way they used to either.

Physically, I’m still in decent shape. I can get my heart rate up to 175 bpm without much trouble, so it’s not a physical limitation. But I do wonder if I’ve built a mental wall over time that’s tough to break through. The issue isn’t arousal either; I stay excited, functional, and can keep things going for a couple of hours at times. But actually busting a nut? That’s the elusive part.

So here I am wondering if anyone else experienced something similar after so many years of a similar lifestyle. I also hope one can somehow undo this conditioning and get back to a place where it’s easier to let one fly, or maybe this is the inevitable trade-off of chasing those high peaks for so long.

That isn't unusual, any activity can over time lose it's fascination. I remember while still working in Germany a funny group conversation among 50 year old men where the general Consensus was that the worst beer was preferable to sex.

[BigStar]

Yet another old man impotence thread. We have a current one running here:

 

 

Google, see a doc. End of.

 

[jippytum]

Why do boring old men

use this forum  as an outlet to opine at length about their sexual prowess. Or the  lack of it

[Thingamabob]

8 minutes ago, jippytum said:

Why do boring old men

use this forum  as an outlet to opine at length about their sexual prowess. Or the  lack of it

As a boring old man myself I can only think they have nothing better to do. That's assuming their postings are not fake...

[RSD1]

bob smith had the same problem of being able to load the gun perfectly, but then it wouldn't fire. He switched to ladyboys and never had that problem since. Just saying... 

[RSD1]

4 hours ago, BigStar said:

Yet another old man impotence thread. We have a current one running here:

 

 

Google, see a doc. End of.

 

Impotent is about not being able to make a woman pregnant. Neither post is about that. That one you linked is about erectile dysfunction and this one about not being able to orgasm. All different issues. 

[scubascuba3]

it directly relates to not being turned on enough to cum, what turns me on changes daily, I don't know how men can have sex with the same woman for years.

 

So, if you use a condom, drop that, it desensitises you, also ED pills like Kamagra make it harder to cum, maybe do it less often, only when really horny, try different things until you find the answer

[BigStar]

58 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Impotent is about not being able to make a woman pregnant. Neither post is about that. That one you linked is about erectile dysfunction and this one about not being able to orgasm. All different issues. 

 

Duh. Google is your friend, too.

 

im·po·tence

/ˈimpəd(ə)ns,ˈimpətns/

 

noun

noun: impotence; plural noun: impotences

1. 1.

   inability to take effective action; helplessness.

   "people speak constantly of their social and political impotence"

    
2. 2.

   inability in a man to achieve an erection OR ORGASM.

   "few men suffering from impotence feel confident enough to ask their GP for advice"

[BigStar]

11 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

it directly relates to not being turned on enough to cum, what turns me on changes daily, I don't know how men can have sex with the same woman for years.

 

So, if you use a condom, drop that, it desensitises you, also ED pills like Kamagra make it harder to cum, maybe do it less often, only when really horny, try different things until you find the answer

 

Threesomes are the answer.

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, BigStar said:

Threesomes are the answer.

Two guys and one lady?

[brfsa2]

Just google it and there are many things you can,

 

It's all about testosterone levels... you need to raise them up, and to do that, the most effective are:

 

1. Do a lot of leg workouts, 1-2 days a week minimum (my favorites: squats, sumo squat, dead lift, leg and calf extension.

2. Do daily Kegel exercise for your come to not end after a minute 😄

3. Some supplements help like Maca and Tribulus terrestris

 

after a few months you are going to be like a rock, works for any age, even at 50s

[BigStar]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Two guys and one lady?

 

Had an old friend, straight, who thought so. He and his hot wife regularly had a neighbor, good guy, over for a session. He never lost interest in his wife, personal porn star, and they stayed happily married more than 20 years until his death.

Edited November 14 by BigStar

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, RSD1 said:

Impotent is about not being able to make a woman pregnant. Neither post is about that. That one you linked is about erectile dysfunction and this one about not being able to orgasm. All different issues. 

OP suffers from anejaculation

Edited November 14 by BritManToo

[Wuvu2]

Why do all the guys whinging about being impotent start their posts with tall tales of their sexual exploits?

[RSD1]

2 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Had an old friend who thought so. He and his hot wife regularly had a neighbor over for a session. 

That would be a boner killer for me. Last thing I want is another dude in my bed when I'm burying the bone. But do try it out and report back to let us know your results.

[RSD1]

6 minutes ago, brfsa2 said:

after a few months you are going to be like a rock

that isn't the issue here.

[RSD1]

7 minutes ago, brfsa2 said:

It's all about testosterone levels... you need to raise them up

How do you know he has low testosterone?

[RSD1]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

OP suffers from anejaculation

Don't think so. He said he can't orgasm. Anejaculation means no ejaculation. When orgasm occurs but semen isn't released. 

 

[BigStar]

5 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

That would be a boner killer for me. Last thing I want is another dude in my bed when I'm burying the bone. But do try it out and report back to let us know your results.

 

Oh, you don't have to take @BritManToo's suggestion, just 'cause it's his. I can report good results with two ladies, however. If you can only handle one, then that's your own limitation, but whatever gets you off. 🙂 

Edited November 14 by BigStar

[RSD1]

16 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Threesomes are the answer.

Was it a Soi 6/1 experience you had?

[BigStar]

10 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Was it a Soi 6/1 experience you had?

 

Be your own bird dog, man. Irrelevant for you anyway, so I think we're done.

Edited November 14 by BigStar

[scubascuba3]

25 minutes ago, Wuvu2 said:

Why do all the guys whinging about being impotent start their posts with tall tales of their sexual exploits?

Did you not read the op, he isn't impotent

[Alpha84]

54 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

maybe do it less often, only when really horny

That would probably help. But may be difficult for people with strong libido to cut back on frequency. 

[Rampant Rabbit]

50 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Threesomes are the answer.

Im not sure the dog  would agree although some bonio might persuade her

[FolkGuitar]

Have you begun taking any new medication recently?
 

[malt25]

2 hours ago, jippytum said:

Why do boring old men

use this forum  as an outlet to opine at length about their sexual prowess. Or the  lack of it

Why  does a dog lick its dick ?

 

[Wuvu2]

27 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Did you not read the op, he isn't impotent

Well sure, that's what most guys say when the plumbing malfunctions 🙄

[scubascuba3]

23 minutes ago, Alpha84 said:

That would probably help. But may be difficult for people with strong libido to cut back on frequency. 

If a very strong libido then presumably would be horny too, I'm wondering if he's doing it when not really horny 

[scubascuba3]

10 minutes ago, Wuvu2 said:

Well sure, that's what most guys say when the plumbing malfunctions 🙄

We can only go by what he says, no point inventing additional issues