"Getting out of dodge" fall-out from a failed realtionship - Guide for dummies.

[watthong]

I'm in the process of ending a relationship, the other person has moved out (but still comes back almost daily ostensibly t to pick up stuff  but actually to moan and groan. (You can follow the nail-biting, cliff-hanging thread that I have posted on same forun recently.) I'm also in the process of preparing myself to re-patriate to the USA. What I have to plan now is get out of the rented apartment with a 2-month notice clause when moving out.

 

Earlier this week I called an talked to my Thai teacher, she's a few years younger than me, a single grandmother whose now main occupation is to take care of her 2 yr old grandchild. We haven't stayed in touch much since covid as I have moved out of town. She felt sorry about what happened since she also knew my ex. However, she suggested that I drop everything, the ex=partner especially, and come and stay at her townhouse, she has a vacant room on the 3rd fl. "For a month or two, that's fine. But you should "poy" ie ditch him." The "month or two" window is the time I figure it would take for friends in the US to find accommodation in advance of my arrival there.

 

So has anyone experienced this kind of US withdrawal fr Afghanistan style? Leave everything behind, just pack up your papers and your rolexes in a small roll-on suitcase, lock the door and walk out. I don't have any place to store all the stuff that has accumulated during the span of our relationship, and the couple of server-size tower PCs I use are just too big to take back with me. I would like to give the whole household to my ex. But it would entail another drawn-out never ending blame multiple day -session and I would have to be the one orchestrating the move, yeah, too much and not worth it. Re the building management, I don't really want to stay here for another couple of months just to honor the end clause of the contract.  The rent is due by the 5th of the month.

So what is the best plan of attack? Thank you in advance for your concrete, time-tested wisdom and foresight.

Edited 9 hours ago by watthong

[scubascuba3]

If you need someone find someone new and stay here, drama over

[watthong]

3 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

If you need someone find someone new and stay here, drama over

 

Thanks for the advice but that's not what I'm planning. Read the topic tittle again, thank you.

[scubascuba3]

6 minutes ago, watthong said:

 

Thanks for the advice but that's not what I'm planning. Read the topic tittle again, thank you.

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

[Lacessit]

If you don't have one, buy a large suitcase and pack toiletries plus a week's worth of clothing. Leave any non-essentials behind. Take all official documents.

 

No forwarding address. Change your phone SIM and email address. Close social media accounts. Your choice to empty joint bank accounts.

 

Then, walk out. No goodbyes, you're gone. Never go back.

 

IME clean breaks are liberating.

[bunnydrops]

Yes once. I loved the girl with all my heart but we got to a place where we were always in disagreement. One day while I was riding in her car, we got into one of the never-ending arguments. I said "I think it would be best if you let me off at the next corner". I went home, packed my car and left the state. I left everything I couldn't get in the car and left her a note saying she could have everything else. That was 50 years ago and I was young. Much easier to do then. Believe it or not, she is still one of my best friends.

[novacova]

4 hours ago, watthong said:

So what is the best plan of attack?

A relationship that is taking a nosedive, then the only stuff that matters is: sanity, wallet and any important documents. All this of course should be at the forefront of any long term planning dependent on a relationship while living in a country on a temporary immigration status, anything at any moment unexpectedly can happen. As for myself, I can cutout at any moment and move to the other side of town or another province if the wife goes berserk.

[watthong]

5 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

 

To you it's drama, to me it's real life. So attribute your "queen" title accordingly.  About real question I guess you weren't taught how to read between the lines.  Then go back to school would be your best bet, if it isn't too late already.

[watthong]

2 hours ago, bunnydrops said:

I left everything I couldn't get in the car and left her a note saying she could have everything else. That was 50 years ago and I was young. Much easier to do then. Believe it or not, she is still one of my best friends. 

 

I can believe that...Sometimes what appear to be foes turn out to be great allies, same with mismatched lovers could be life long friends afterward, as in your case. To me this kind of silver lining often happenned in a "dog eats dog" work place environment (manager vs subordinate), as opposed to romantic one.

[watthong]

2 hours ago, novacova said:

All this of course should be at the forefront of any long term planning dependent on a relationship while living in a country on a temporary immigration status, anything at any moment unexpectedly can happen. As for myself, I can cutout at any moment and move to the other side of town or another province if the wife goes berserk.

 

Absolutely. In the back of my mind,  I always consider that living in another "country on a temporary immigration status" sets you up for  the "nuclear-code container" suitcase state of mind. The one you take with you on AirForce One and out of Washington.

Edited 2 hours ago by watthong

[mogandave]

As long as it’s big enough for your passports,  all your Rolexes and a box of condoms that’s all you really need!