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What if she finds out?

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  • Author
1 hour ago, khunJam said:

Why don’t you go let her know. Please let us know what happens, I’m curious.

I suggest you try that with your mates. I am sure they will all tell you what a great guy you are...

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  • scubascuba3
    scubascuba3

    Secret to a happy marriage, he has fun, she turns a blind eye, long marriage

  • A lot of guys do this, especially Thai men.  Probably one the the kindest acts of nature in having your libido take a nose dive, and you wake up one day and realize that you really don't care all that

  • She should divorce the creep he has no respect for her.

On 11/23/2024 at 12:10 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I have a friend who is married to his Thai Chinese wife. She has a well-paid office job, is nice and IMHO boring. He has an even better paid job.

Mostly they are happy together. Married over 10 years. I wouldn't call it the big love, but comfortable living together, no kids. He is over 50, she a little under 50.

He is playing with the girls since forever. He never told her. But she should know that maybe he is not only drinking beers with his buddies on Friday night.

He is discreet and he avoids beginner mistakes.

But there is no perfect way to keep secrets forever. Maybe one day she finds out. And then?

How likely is it that she will divorce him and demand money (because he makes a lot more money than her)?

Will she give him first an ultimatum that he should never do it again?

What are other possible consequences?

She is not a bar girl from up country, so I guess the duck feeding process won't happen.

Do you have any experience with a situation like that? What happened with you or a friend in such a situation?

 

For the record. I talk about my friend and not myself. My long-term gf is an ex-bargirl. I am sure she would react differently. 

 

I’ve been in that situation myself, more than three times, in fact. Each time, I prepared myself to accept however it might turn out. That’s the only way to approach it. You can’t predict what will happen, nor can you mitigate the damage by over-planning. All you can do is roll the dice and accept the outcome.

 

Your friend may think the same way. Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t seem worried. Or maybe he’s thinking it might be better if she left anyway. Who knows? Either way, I wouldn’t overthink someone else’s problems. There’s absolutely no benefit in doing that.

  • Author
2 hours ago, HugoFastor said:

I’ve been in that situation myself, more than three times, in fact. Each time, I prepared myself to accept however it might turn out. That’s the only way to approach it. You can’t predict what will happen, nor can you mitigate the damage by over-planning. All you can do is roll the dice and accept the outcome.

 

Your friend may think the same way. Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t seem worried. Or maybe he’s thinking it might be better if she left anyway. Who knows? Either way, I wouldn’t overthink someone else’s problems. There’s absolutely no benefit in doing that.

 

Thanks

He is my best friend. And that fact makes me think about this situation a little more than it would in other cases.

He is smart and I am sure he thought about possible consequences. And he is discrete.

I don't worry too much about him, but it could have been that some members here would have responded with life changing stories which should not be ignored.

So far, nothing surprising came up. Good.

 

 

On 11/27/2024 at 9:19 PM, BangkokReady said:
On 11/23/2024 at 4:28 PM, SAFETY FIRST said:

scanky

 

*skanky

Thank you 

On 11/23/2024 at 12:10 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe one day she finds out. And then?

How likely is it that she will divorce him and demand money (because he makes a lot more money than her)?

Will she give him first an ultimatum that he should never do it again?

What are other possible consequences?

She is not a bar girl from up country, so I guess the duck feeding process won't happen.


Divorce? Maybe. Demand money? Maybe. And just because she isn't a bar girl doesn't mean she can't do a solid performance of Thai crazy. Thai women are extremely emotional and jealous in a childish way, which makes them extremely unpredictable. 
 

Ultimatum? Maybe, if she doesn't have a better option. I would say she might go look for the bigger better deal, like many often do, but she sounds about 20 years too late to be able to do that. 
 

Anyway, possible outcomes are endless. There is no way to generalize these things. It comes down to the individual. Everybody reacts to things differently. FAFO

 

 

On 11/24/2024 at 3:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks for all your comments.

Sure, there is no "this will happen". But it's interesting to read what happened to others.

 

And about the general idea to have some fun: IMHO we only live once, and we can't perform forever. Some guys just accept that when they are married that's it. Others still have (a lot of) sex outside marriage.

I wouldn't want to be old and think about how much fun I could have had when I was young. And with him it's the same. Enjoy life as long as you can.

 

And telling her? IMHO there are very few women who want to talk about that and who would accept a situation like that. From what I see the best a guy can expect is that she does not ask and does not want to know.

If he would ask and she would say no, then he can't pretend she does not care. So not asking is the preferred version from many gays and I guess the somehow preferred version for many women.

I assumed that both my partners might do it and I said that if they did to make him wear a condom and not tell me. My first went on a lot of business trips, and my second only had me around for 26 weeks a year.

On 11/23/2024 at 7:34 PM, proton said:

She should divorce the creep he has no respect for her.

When was the last time you had sex?

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