Who lives without family?

[Centigrade32]

3 hours ago, steven100 said:

I worked with along side him for a few years,  crutching lambs,  drenching cattle & sheep, fencing, loading soya bean hay in the winter for stock feed ,  and many other general farm work,  mustering and whatever ... I was young and fit as a mallee bull at 17yrs old.    i miss those days

 

it makes me sad when I think about that ....   I get teary eyed everytime.

 

Why not make some new memories instead of dwelling on the old ones? Why not spend a few days walking alongside the farm workers here, to see how they do it? Get back to nature for a few days to revitalise yourself and to be closer to your memories, rather than them being a distant dream.

I'm sure a few members here with farms would be open to that. Better than moping around in the city, not being part of creating something.

[georgegeorgia]

On 1/15/2025 at 11:05 PM, save the frogs said:

 I'm different, so that adds to the hostility. 

You certainly are ..... different,a lot of us can attest to that .

[save the frogs]

1 minute ago, georgegeorgia said:

You certainly are ..... different,a lot of us can attest to that .

you're a riot, georgie boy

[GinBoy2]

Well maybe I'm lucky.

 

I'm an oddity Hispanic and was an only child, so no sibling rivalries to deal with

 

My second cousins, it's all good with them, but they are second cousins so it's always arms length so to speak.

 

Parents, who I did have a great relationship, long dead, but I still miss them.

 

But my kids are bringing me the next generation, and I so much enjoy being Grandad, all the fun without the changing diapers and sleepless nights lol

 

That all being said, and I think it's a function of being an only child, I learned to be very self sufficient. 

 

Don't get be wrong I love my family, but I could function completely alone and never miss a soul

[Prubangboy]

I got nothing, more or less:

 

Convivial relations with my ex (white) wife in Chiang Mai, a best friend in Brazil. A brother back home I email with twice a year. So in a major health jam, that's my back up; pretty much listed in order.

 

It's not terrible. My wife has a daughter. That daughter has a lot of drug and crime problems. My brother is a life long addict. Family often doesn't live up to the hype.

[milesinnz]

I had virtually no family from when I was about 10. The story was enough to give a psychologist a full blown breakdown right in front of me. He was covering his face as he was balling his eyes out - so I quietly got up and left the room. I don't really feel that sorry for myself as I have met many people much worse of than me - and they did have family. As younger people we all need mentoring and usually that comes from psychologically healthy parents - but it does not have to be them. I regret there was no one just to give me a few hours of advice and how different my life would have been. Now at 70, I seem to spend all my time mentoring others - and here we are mostly talking adults. I support some long term prisoners in NZ - as a mentor more than anything else. The crazy thing is, when I was a teenager, all I wanted was a girlfriend. Now in my old age - I am surrounded by girls - and no, it most certainly is not for money. I even have a 7 year old Khmer daughter. She is the only person I will call my family. I choose to remain "non family" even when I get offers all the time to be part of someone's family. I have to say for all their good intentions, I do not trust them if the chips were down. I write on crime, social issues and psychology. I am constantly learning. And it has just occurred to me that western children when they become older, as in mid teens and later do tend to have unrealistic expectations of their parents. They expect their parents to be "perfect" and when they are not, they feel they have been cheated. I do see a lot of lonely people in social forums. I think they are often consumed by fear, fear of (further ?) rejection and thus so not try to reach out to people on a very personal level - which means exposing just who you are - and hence they will stay the way they are. When I am trying to teach "my prisoners" how to be heard and express themselves, and they start to do it, and I have to point out where they need to improve, I remind them that it has taken me 25 years to get the communication skills I have and for them not to expect to get there in two years. Another point I like to make is "we spend all our lives learning the lessons we need to learn, then we die and the next generation have to start all over again".. crazy eh ? but then we are only random cosmic accidents made from star dust to which we will return...

[save the frogs]

On 1/16/2025 at 10:47 PM, Prubangboy said:

It's not terrible. My wife has a daughter. That daughter has a lot of drug and crime problems.

due at least in part because of an absent father? 

 

[Prubangboy]

I'm not the father. Let's clear that right up.

 

The bio-Dad lives nearby. He's no genius (to say the least), but he tries to help out. 

 

She kicked me in the nuts, I still bought her a car. My work is done.

 

[PomPolo]

I came to Thailand for peace alone or in company would enjoy it just the same, sometimes I wish I could have more peace and get back to some seeing the wonderful sights of Thailand certainly wouldn't stay in Pattaya all by myself it is a big country out there!!

[PomPolo]

He should register for AN plenty of interesting people on here virtual conversations are better than none 🙂

[Freddy42OZ]

On 1/15/2025 at 2:56 PM, scorecard said:

Nice for you but each to his own / personal choice. I never had pleasant / enjoyable times with any of my 5 cousins, all male. They all went to very expensive schools and reminded me often. All were arrogant and lacking in basic common sense. They had never been taught right and wrong.. acceptable behavior and not acceptable behavior (by their dads or mums).

 

They were just too old for compulsory national service. Soon after I finally returned from Vn there was a whole family gathering for the uni graduation of a cousin.

 

I went to the party, I got invited into the bedroom of one of my cousins. As soon as I walked  through the door he fired a rifle and hit a target on the wall quite close to me. everybody laughed. The cousin who fired the rifle called his dad into the room and told his dad about firing the rifle / hit a target very close to me.

 

His dad (my uncle) grabbed my hair and arm and said "not so brave now soldier boy". I was shocked and upset, I quickly found my dad, explained what had happened and dad immediately took me home with no discussion with his brother (my uncle) or the uni boy. Dad spent the rest of the day chatting about life with me, making sure he was listening to my comments.

 

The next day uncle called my dad and accused him of being rude at his son's graduation. And insisted that I explain why I had told my dad. I shared with dad that rifle fire and a round landing so close to me really and the loud rifle fire sound  shook me up. (Later I was diagnosed with severe PTSD).

 

Dad told his bother about this. His brother responded with "what total bull<deleted>" and laughed at dad every time he saw dad for years.

 

Dad and I and mum deliberately ignored them for the rest of our lives. 

 

A question: why would/should we try to make any effort to gain pleasant relationship with them?

 

25 years later I got a call from my cousin and he apologized for the rifle shot in the bedroom. I said 'thanks' and hung up. 

 

 

 

 

I grew up in a fairly rich family, went to private boarding school etc. 

You've held a grudge over a small incident that happened 25 years ago?    Wow that's crazy!

 

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

 

I grew up in a fairly rich family, went to private boarding school etc. 

You've held a grudge over a small incident that happened 25 years ago?    Wow that's crazy!

 

Just your very ignorant opinion. You ever heard of PTSD?

Many war veteran soldiers have PTSD for life.

[georgegeorgia]

8 hours ago, milesinnz said:

I have to say for all their good intentions, I do not trust them if the chips were down. I

Very wise words and it's I guess learnt over time not to trust