I spent two hours helping a girl to get a new job

[Nick Carter icp]

21 hours ago, steven100 said:

then I arrange an interview because my farang friend has a new restaurant opened 1 week ago .

 

 He should look to hire staff two months before opening, not look for staff one week after opening  need 

[RocketDog]

22 hours ago, steven100 said:

no ...  she speaks excellent english,   and she want to get a now job ....   then I arrange an interview because my farang friend has a new restaurant opened 1 week ago ...  

 

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

 

I am just dumfoundered she didn't tell me before I did everything ...... 

The only way to deal with Thai nationals is to front run the conversation by knowing all the silly ways things that can go wrong and addressing them first.

 

I've learned the hard way to do this before unleashing workmen or tradesman on any of my home projects.

[Nick Carter icp]

22 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

Personally,  I would never recommend anyone here for a job.  Here today, gone tomorrow with no explanation is way too common.

 

   But it seems like the Woman in question wants to give 2 months notice to her current job .

   Cannot complain when a woman will not start work immediately and then also complain because they leave jobs without giving any notice .

   What should it be ?

Start and finish jobs immediately or give 2 months notice ?

 

[Somjot]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:36 PM, steven100 said:

I just spent 2 hours texting,  messaging,  getting LINE id .... 

she wants a new job,   my friend wants to interview her .....

 

then she says'    I cannot start for 2 months ...  

 

WTF  !!    these people are brain dead absolutely ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

 

On 1/24/2025 at 4:45 PM, steven100 said:

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

 

I am just dumfoundered she didn't tell me before I did everything ...... 

 

23 hours ago, steven100 said:

The strangest people I have ever met.

Cannot arrange anything or confirm anything.

 

Your frustration is understandable; maybe I can offer some explanation:

but before I do that, being an employer in Thailand myself,  just a few remarks about labor law in Thailand

Most Thais don't even have an employment contract, so practically if they want to quit, they just don't show anymore and that's it, which is quite comfortable yet not the reason for the lack of the contract.

It's mostly the employers, who do not want an employment contract with the employees as it gives them a lot of rights and benefits: labor law protects them, they have a vacation entitlement, starting with about 15 days per year, have the right for paid OT, after working hours and get even more for that on the weekend, not to forget health insurance.

By law the notice period is 30 days, so both sides can quit the contract by telling one month in advance.

In real life the employees can just disappear and there is not much the employer can do about it.

It is possible to agree on longer notice periods, so if you really want to know the truth, ask her for her employment contract.

If it says 60 days, she has been telling the truth yet failed to inform you in time.

If there is no contract, she has a notice period of 30 days by law but as mentioned, if she just doesn’t show anymore, there is nothing her employer can do about it, except not paying her wage for the rest of the month.

 

Now back to your “failed” communication:

There are 2 huge obstacles, which will always make a free of misunderstanding communication quite difficult:

 

1. Sex

she is a woman, and men and women will never speak the same language.

Just to give you one of many examples:

Husband and wife are driving on a highway, when she spots a service station and tells him, in case he is hungry they could stop for a snack. He answers that he is not hungry and keeps driving. Sometime later he realizes that her mood has changed to the worse for reasons, he has no idea of.

He, being a man and therefore always communicating very directly understood her suggestion, that they could stop for a snack in case he is hungry and assumed that she isn`t, as in that case she would have told him from the start.

She, being a woman and therefore always combining communication and emotion was trying to tell him, that she would like to have a snack and at the same time remind him, how much she cares for him, by asking if he is hungry and now understands his reaction, that he does not care for her in the same way she does.

 

2. Culture

Anthropologists differentiate high context and low context cultures.

In Low context cultures, like Northern Europe, The US or the UK direct verbal communication is needed to properly understand the message being communicated and it relies heavily on explicit verbal skills. People communicate more directly by explicitly stating what they want to communicate.

High context cultures like most African or Asian countries exhibit less direct verbal and non-verbal communication utilizing small gestures and reading more meaning into these less direct messages.  They prefer harmony and well-being of the group over individual achievement and tend to be more aware and observant of facial expressions, body language, changes in tone, and other aspects of communication that are not directly spoken.

 

I am far from being an expert for high context communication but growing up with four women (granny, mother and two sisters) was quite helpful to understand Thai people.

For example, I was at some office with a friend, where he asked them for a certain service and the Thai employee answered “Khit gon”, which means, “I`ll think about it.”

Later I asked my friend where he was going to get that service.

He answered: “I`ll wait for the decision of that guy first before looking elsewhere”

“But he refused already.”

“Didn't you listen? the guy said, he will think about it.”

“Which is a clear no.”

“No, a no is a no and a “I'll think about it” is not.”

It was.

 

This may be the reason why so many of us think, that Thais are dishonest, sneaky or even liars and cheaters.

 

I am not saying all of them are 100% honest – I mean, we talk about Pattaya, the largest brothel of the world - but it wouldn't surprise me, if in many cases the message just didn't get through. 

 

Maybe she was trying to tell you that out of some personal reasons she did not want that job but she also appreciated your efforts and obviously caring for you she did not want to disappoint you so typical for her culture she did it between the lines and with respect and consideration for your feelings but you just didn't get it forcing her to make up a story about some two months notion period.

 

And you on the other side would not have put so much effort in finding her a job if you would not care for her but now interpret her behavior as mendacious and see her as a person who cannot be trusted, which understandably hurts you a lot as I can clearly read from your posts.

 

Buddy, for me it is absolutely clear that you both feel a lot of affection for each other maybe even more. Don't be that stubborn Farang.

 

Ask her for a meeting, swallow your anger as it only results from misunderstandings due to cultural differences, therefore is unfounded and talk to her with a low and friendly voice, explain her, that you would be happy, if she takes that job but would not scold her, if she doesn't and that it would be very helpful for your relationship if in the future she would talk more directly to you as you are coming from a culture where this is the only way of communication.

 

Yet I also read between the lines, that you are very motivated to get her into that job in your friend’s restaurant and - forgive me if I'm wrong - it sounds to me like you want to get her out of some other job and into one, where you can control her.

 

So that in her free time ahe is with you and when she is at work she's under observation while you are free to do, whatever you want to - I guess you know what I mean.

 

If that's the case, all I can tell you is, don't even try. In these things they are always much smarter than we are.

[Ralf001]

6 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

 

my gf is thai, she has a bachelor degree, two master degrees two and two doctorates,

what field ?

[Oliver Holzerfilled]

On 1/24/2025 at 5:36 PM, steven100 said:

I just spent 2 hours texting,  messaging,  getting LINE id .... 

she wants a new job,   my friend wants to interview her .....

 

then she says'    I cannot start for 2 months ...  

 

WTF  !!    these people are brain dead absolutely ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

Sounds more like a Filipina.  Total dimwits.

[Simon1287]

On 1/24/2025 at 10:15 AM, steven100 said:

Er ....   normally if someone is looking to get a new job they don't dictate the start date. 

She should have told me ....  I'm looking new job but I cannot start for 2 months. 

 

One day, many years ago when I had my then Thai wife with me on a visit back to the UK I was reversing my car out of somewhere with her in the passenger seat. “Can you watch your side and make sure I don’t hit anything” says I. Not a word in reply so I stopped. “Did you hear me?” Says I. “Yes, I hear you” says she so I carried on turning and reversing. BANG! “I thought you said you heard me!” says I. “I did” says she “but I not understand what you say”.

 

The longer you are around them the more you realise they are not just a different coloured version of us their thought processes and views of the world are totally at odds to those of us westerners (and I mean absolutely no disrespect there whatever. Different does not mean any better or worse, just different, which is what makes them fun and interesting)

 

Things stopped surprising me in Thailand 30 years ago. 

 

Simon

[Oliver Holzerfilled]

On 1/24/2025 at 5:45 PM, steven100 said:

no ...  she speaks excellent english,   and she want to get a now job ....   then I arrange an interview because my farang friend has a new restaurant opened 1 week ago ...  

 

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

 

I am just dumfoundered she didn't tell me before I did everything ...... 

 

How did she acquire excellent English?

[novacova]

5 minutes ago, Oliver Holzerfilled said:

 

How did she acquire excellent English?

From guy’s like the op 

[saakura]

On 1/24/2025 at 5:15 PM, steven100 said:

Er ....   normally if someone is looking to get a new job they don't dictate the start date. 

She should have told me ....  I'm looking new job but I cannot start for 2 months. 

Every job has a notice period for resigning. It is also the duty of a prospective employer to ask about this.

[ericthai]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:15 AM, steven100 said:

Er ....   normally if someone is looking to get a new job they don't dictate the start date. 

She should have told me ....  I'm looking new job but I cannot start for 2 months. 

She didn’t want a job, she wanted you to support her.

[FritsSikkink]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:36 PM, steven100 said:

I just spent 2 hours texting,  messaging,  getting LINE id .... 

she wants a new job,   my friend wants to interview her .....

 

then she says'    I cannot start for 2 months ...  

 

WTF  !!    these people are brain dead absolutely ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

Looks to me a fault of the guy interviewing her. Next time ask the availability date first.

[FritsSikkink]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:45 PM, steven100 said:

no ...  she speaks excellent english,   and she want to get a now job ....   then I arrange an interview because my farang friend has a new restaurant opened 1 week ago ...  

 

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

 

I am just dumfoundered she didn't tell me before I did everything ...... 

No, you aren't fit to do an interview.

[FritsSikkink]

On 1/24/2025 at 5:18 PM, steven100 said:

I agree ... to a certain extent ... but sometimes we know farang with new restaurant that they don't know.

she should have told me I cannot start now before I did all the messaging & texting ... and getting an interview.

 

How would that look in the west   ?      pathetic ... imo

Yes, it would look like pathetic interviewing.

[FritsSikkink]

On 1/24/2025 at 5:33 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

 

It seems you approach this with logic.

Sorry to remind you, we are in Thailand...

No, he didn't, missed the basic skills of an interview. Looks like you do too.

[actonion]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:45 PM, steven100 said:

no ...  she speaks excellent english,   and she want to get a now job ....   then I arrange an interview because my farang friend has a new restaurant opened 1 week ago ...  

 

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

 

I am just dumfoundered she didn't tell me before I did everything ...... 

My( Thai ) Mrs has a few Cogs missing too

[connda]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:36 PM, steven100 said:

I just spent 2 hours texting,  messaging,  getting LINE id .... 

she wants a new job,   my friend wants to interview her .....

 

then she says'    I cannot start for 2 months ...  

 

WTF  !!    these people are brain dead absolutely ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

Welcome to Thailand!

[JensenZ]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:36 PM, steven100 said:

 WTF  !!    these people are brain dead absolutely ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

"These people"? How about you restrict the insults to your girlfriend? (and leave the rest of the Thai population out of it).

 

My girlfriend has a university degree, works 6 days a week at a 5* hotel, and has worked at various office jobs for major companies since getting her degree. She's extremely disciplined and never late. She's never had trouble finding work in Bangkok or Pattaya. Her work ethic is outstanding.

 

The problem is that expats spend too much time around bar girls and can't see the majority of the population working their a**es off at regular jobs.

 

On 1/24/2025 at 4:45 PM, steven100 said:

Thais have a missing cog  ...........    in their silly brains 

You're thick with the insults today.

 

On 1/24/2025 at 5:44 PM, steven100 said:

anyway,  I just sent her a message and said don't worry about the notice period as the new boss will know that.

 

 What's wasting 2 hours for you? You probably already wasted over 2 hours posting about your problem today.

[norfolkandchance]

17 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

what field ?

KFC.

[Njoku]

On 1/24/2025 at 4:36 PM, steven100 said:

I just spent 2 hours texting,  messaging,  getting LINE id .... 

she wants a new job,   my friend wants to interview her .....

 

then she says'    I cannot start for 2 months ...  

 

WTF  !!   ,,,    why didn't she tell me that before I did anything   ???????????????????? 

 

Steve is in rescue mode, they know how to find a job if they want to work.

[steven100]

5 hours ago, actonion said:

My( Thai ) Mrs has a few Cogs missing too

I luv it ....    haha 

[steven100]

1 hour ago, Njoku said:

Steve is in rescue mode, they know how to find a job if they want to work.

no .... it's sorted ... I leave it up to my friend if he wants to hire her.

I'll never get involved ever again,   I should have known better na ....

[steven100]

4 hours ago, connda said:

Welcome to Thailand!

yes .... Connda,   I should have known better, been here a long time.