1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

Okay, she's attractive, but you're clearly not attracted to her anymore. Why is that?

I dont know how anyone can still be attracted to someone after 9 years. Maybe i would just prefer someone to talk to. Id learned to keep my thoughts to myself

Im trying to tell you, i had found what you are looking for. And in the end its still not that great. Just keep having relationships, space them three months apart and dont promise them any commitment. Thats what id do

43 minutes ago, hotsun said:

I dont know how anyone can still be attracted to someone after 9 years. Maybe i would just prefer someone to talk to. Id learned to keep my thoughts to myself

 

Obviously limerence, the honeymoon period, will end after2 years max, but then both parties can still want to be with each other and try to solve issues that arise. 

 

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being Miss Grand winner/Yu Yu Sai and 1 being that fat girl with glasses on TF, how would you rate your wife?

53 minutes ago, hotsun said:

I dont know how anyone can still be attracted to someone after 9 years. Maybe i would just prefer someone to talk to. Id learned to keep my thoughts to myself

15 years and mine still looks super hot to me.  We were at the big Songkran event at Sanam Luang last night .... in my eyes she was the best looking woman there (discounting a few hot teenagers who are way too young for me).  

15 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Obviously limerence, the honeymoon period, will end after2 years max, but then both parties can still want to be with each other and try to solve issues that arise. 

 

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being Miss Grand winner/Yu Yu Sai and 1 being that fat girl with glasses on TF, how would you rate your wife?

8.5

3 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

15 years and mine still looks super hot to me.  We were at the big Songkran event at Sanam Luang last night .... in my eyes she was the best looking woman there (discounting a few hot teenagers who are way too young for me).  

Yes but me i always yearn for something different

1 minute ago, hotsun said:

8.5

 

So what is she doing that turns you off?

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

So what is she doing that turns you off?

I just cant talk to her, its always a disappointment. Nothing going on in her brain

4 minutes ago, hotsun said:

I just cant talk to her, its always a disappointment. Nothing going on in her brain

 

I understand. Plus you like the adventure part, maybe more than the relationship part?

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I understand. Plus you like the adventure part, maybe more than the relationship part?

Yep. Everything gets boring though after a while. What i would really have liked was to have been born in the west before feminism. What i have now feels like something i just had to settle for and accept as the best i could do

If they swipe the phone while eating and respond to cash.  Sorted.  She is putty in your hands.

5 minutes ago, hotsun said:

Yep. Everything gets boring though after a while. What i would really have liked was to have been born in the west before feminism. What i have now feels like something i just had to settle for and accept as the best i could do

 

Why does it feel like you had to "settle"?

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

Why does it feel like you had to "settle"?

I dont know. Now i would advise anyone against it

11 hours ago, hotsun said:

I dont know. Now i would advise anyone against it

there is nothing unique about your situation.

this is why cheating and divorce is rampant. people get bored with each other and relationships become stale. and mistresses on the side was invented to alleviate this problem but not rock the boat of the marriage ... and its been going on for a long time. 

 

Just now, save the frogs said:

there is nothing unique about your situation.

this is why cheating and divorce is rampant. people get bored with each other and relationships become stale.

 

Im not under the illusion that any other woman is better. They are all the same to me now. I feel like relationships are all deception, i dont wish to go back to dating

51 minutes ago, hotsun said:

Yes but me i always yearn for something different

Ah .... yes, that would be a problem with long term relationships.  I got passed that phase in my 30's, and with the 20 year age difference she will always look hot to me.  I feel lucky to have her.

53 minutes ago, hotsun said:

I just cant talk to her, its always a disappointment. Nothing going on in her brain

Sounds like she's not 'the one'.  Maybe a smarter partner who's also a 10.  

1 hour ago, hotsun said:

I just cant talk to her, its always a disappointment. Nothing going on in her brain

 

You get my vote for the most sensible posts on this topic .... or maybe better to say the ones ( especially stating the 2 main factors that occur in relationships ) , those factors being 1.  the physical attraction just doesn't last .  nor of course the excitement of courting then penetrating .   men who have a good, healthy libido IMO will get bored sexually with the same old ... and be much more attracted to something new .

 

2.  Very little that is similar to our thinking is going on in the Thai female's brain .  Now a LOT goes on in Western women's brains ....... but from what I have seen it is worse than Nothing !   

 

For the few of us here (excuse me if i include myself ....lol )  that seem to have a bit going for them ,  I think we dream of the lovely girl , physically and emotionally ... who

is "different" .   Of course,  really special ladies are still looking for the man with money and position .    And still the long term success rate is veryyyy low . 

I just read a little story about Michael Caine and wife .  Interesting if anyone chooses to check it out .  Married now about 50 years.   Also seems like Gene Hackman had a devoted and interesting story .  Probably both these guys were ready to "settle down" and were content to live away from the world .  And remember.... rich and famous.

 

I think life is trade=offs .  Getting "stuck" in a relationship is usually done early in life.

Even if not terrible ... it is not happiness for most .   Having some nice relationships without living together sounds good,  especially in middle age.     For me, when i got older I now choose to live with someone who is not lazy,  makes no demands or faces or talks disrespectfully ,  cooks really well,  can do gardening and plumbing and even concrete work,  does not want material things ,massages me when i call her,   and swims 40 laps a day .    note: she also is very good natured and warm .   the things "she is not"  are just personality things.  like not understanding my witty sarcasm . well, that's a trade-off .

 

in return,  i take very good care of her..... just like a daughter 😂😅

 

 

 

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

there is nothing unique about your situation.

this is why cheating and divorce is rampant. people get bored with each other and relationships become stale. and mistresses on the side was invented to alleviate this problem but not rock the boat of the marriage ... and its been going on for a long time. 

 

 

Relationships do become boring eventually. However, if both people want to be in that relationship they will find ways to address this issue.

 

The problem we have in Thailand is the language issue, in that meaningful conversations become difficult or impossible. Also because the Thai girl generally is too lazy to do the serious work such relationship maintenance entails. For the most part they want to avoid confrontation and disagreement. 

 

Indeed, the easy way out, for both parties, is to seek other partners. However, this would not be a solution, as the process would just start all over again.

 

For the man I don't think it's a good solution, because if you want loyalty then you have to give it yourself. Unless she cheated of course, then all bets are off.

1 hour ago, hotsun said:

Im not under the illusion that any other woman is better. They are all the same to me now. I feel like relationships are all deception, i dont wish to go back to dating

 

Relationships are deception for a large part.  Especially on the part of the woman, who will fake lovey dovey. It's usually fake. We men also fake a lot, let's be honest.

 

However, in your case, the fact that you felt you had to "settle" indicates that you really believe that. So in other words, you think you could have done better. 

 

Perhaps you just prefer the chase and adventure, to relationships, there are people who are just not suited to relationships.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

Perhaps you just prefer the chase and adventure, to relationships, there are people who are just not suite to relationships.

 

haha   sounds like you as well .   When you find "the one" ...... be sure to let us know how long before  "she changed" ,  or you did 

1 hour ago, Kinnock said:

Sounds like she's not 'the one'.  Maybe a smarter partner who's also a 10.  

 

You generally should always choose a partner who is a 10 to you, because in time this 10 will become an 8. This is just how it works. So if you start with an 8, you'll have a 6 in due course. Women don't get better looking. They don't age like wine, but like bread.

 

Even with a10 of course the relationship will become boring. At some point.

 

Both parties need to understand that they trade the thrill and adventure of the chase, for the shared story, the building of something together, for trust and loyalty. This is the trade off. Boredom and loyalty plus trust or adventure and disloyalty on both sides.

 

 

 

 

2 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

haha   sounds like you as well .   When you find "the one" ...... be sure to let us know how long before  "she changed" ,  or you did 

 

Well, the chase can be fun, but let me tell you why it's a problem for me.

 

When I search on Thaifriendly for 18-29 year olds and I see "Oh her, I've done her", "Yes, her, I've done her"...that's priceless. To see the profiles of girls that you've actually mounted. However, my problem with it is that there is soooo much garbage out there. Entitled girls, fat girls, boring girls, narcissist girls, sociopath girls, stupid girls.

 

If you wade through the garbage as much as I have, eventually, you do get tired of wading through garbage. 

20 minutes ago, rumak said:

men who have a good, healthy libido IMO will get bored sexually with the same old ... and be much more attracted to something new .

 

As homo sapiens we are one step removed from Bonobos, so we are a highly promiscuous species. Both men AND women, will always be attracted to other people. It's not like we're the only attractive people on the planet, let's not fool ourselves, Rumak. There are a few others. So yes, will your girl be attracted to other guys, of course. Will you be to other girls, of course.

 

The thing is, if you have a partner that is really crazy about you, is a 10 and on top has the relationship skills to work out issues, you'd have to be very foolish to risk that for a temp.

 

20 minutes ago, rumak said:

Probably both these guys were ready to "settle down" and were content to live away from the world .  And remember.... rich and famous.

 

I think the first part, they got older and as a man gets older he will settle for that woman, because he knows his days in the sexual market place are over. Neither fame nor wealth is an insurance against a woman's disloyalty as Johnny Depp, Cary Grant, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra and Tom Brady found out.

"Wade through the garbage "   5555555555555

 

that's how i describe going on to Aseannow .   but i just can't tear myself away .

6 minutes ago, rumak said:

"Wade through the garbage "   5555555555555

 

that's how i describe going on to Aseannow .   but i just can't tear myself away .

 

Amen to that.

 

But you know what I mean. Dating apps suggest this endless ocean of women. But actually the very vast majority of these women are garbage. Pure and simple. You would never even want to date them.

 

Now, do diamonds exist, yes of course they do, but I think you maybe get only 5 or so girls in your lifetime that truly reach the depths of your soul in a way others cannot.

11 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Sounds like she's not 'the one'.  Maybe a smarter partner who's also a 10.  

A 10 who is smart and not self absorbed. Seems like a fantasy

11 hours ago, rumak said:

 

You get my vote for the most sensible posts on this topic .... or maybe better to say the ones ( especially stating the 2 main factors that occur in relationships ) , those factors being 1.  the physical attraction just doesn't last .  nor of course the excitement of courting then penetrating .   men who have a good, healthy libido IMO will get bored sexually with the same old ... and be much more attracted to something new .

 

2.  Very little that is similar to our thinking is going on in the Thai female's brain .  Now a LOT goes on in Western women's brains ....... but from what I have seen it is worse than Nothing !   

 

For the few of us here (excuse me if i include myself ....lol )  that seem to have a bit going for them ,  I think we dream of the lovely girl , physically and emotionally ... who

is "different" .   Of course,  really special ladies are still looking for the man with money and position .    And still the long term success rate is veryyyy low . 

I just read a little story about Michael Caine and wife .  Interesting if anyone chooses to check it out .  Married now about 50 years.   Also seems like Gene Hackman had a devoted and interesting story .  Probably both these guys were ready to "settle down" and were content to live away from the world .  And remember.... rich and famous.

 

I think life is trade=offs .  Getting "stuck" in a relationship is usually done early in life.

Even if not terrible ... it is not happiness for most .   Having some nice relationships without living together sounds good,  especially in middle age.     For me, when i got older I now choose to live with someone who is not lazy,  makes no demands or faces or talks disrespectfully ,  cooks really well,  can do gardening and plumbing and even concrete work,  does not want material things ,massages me when i call her,   and swims 40 laps a day .    note: she also is very good natured and warm .   the things "she is not"  are just personality things.  like not understanding my witty sarcasm . well, that's a trade-off .

 

in return,  i take very good care of her..... just like a daughter 😂😅

 

 

 

Id prefer a western girl now but im 37 its too late for that now. Im living for my kids now, always thinking about the past

35 minutes ago, hotsun said:

A 10 who is smart and not self absorbed. Seems like a fantasy

In the West ...  probably, as smart '10's' are told early on how beautiful and smart they are, so becoming self absorbed is an occupational hazard.  In Thailand there's so many teen 10's in school they don't ever feel special, so even when in their 30's and still a strong 10, they can be very grounded.

My 10 is both smart and grounded, so they are out there.

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Relationships are deception for a large part.  Especially on the part of the woman, who will fake lovey dovey. It's usually fake. We men also fake a lot, let's be honest.

 

However, in your case, the fact that you felt you had to "settle" indicates that you really believe that. So in other words, you think you could have done better. 

 

Perhaps you just prefer the chase and adventure, to relationships, there are people who are just not suited to relationships.

The temptation to change my life comes from that feeling that i am missing out on the best life by settling for this boring life, but it may be that once i decide to make that change that it wont be the same experience it was in my 20s, and i will wish that i could have that boring life back