45 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

that's one step away from OnlyFans ... 

 

I probably wouldn't date a girl doing that. 

 

But then again, if you're obsessed with dating a 20 year old, you will need to deal with the immaturity and fickleness that goes along with it. 

 

That's pretty much 90% of young girls today, dancing on Tik Tok, often in underwear, bikini or miniskirts. Trying to seduce the viewer to get likes and attention.

 

And it's not just young girls. Older women are doing it to.

 

This is the age of social media.

16 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

If she is doing that, why can't you see her character? Not all ladies do that - do you only choose women who have these characteristics? If that is all you look at and choose to date, then you will live in a distasteful world - Maybe you need someone a little more mature? 

 

You know what's funny, my ex was doing that. But her 50 year old mother, she was doing it too.

 

Not in bikini. Not licking her lips. But duck pouting on social media.

 

Older women are doing it too.

12 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Did you miss the 60s in the West? Summer of love? All like that - - 

Western women never put out much, you might get a feel, but that was about it.

I only count penis in vagina with no condom as sex.

Others might have different definitions.

4 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Maybe you need someone a little more mature? 

 

Their level of maturity is not the problem. Mine is.

 

When I "love" these beautiful, 24 year old, slender girls, I love them in a selfish way. For my own selfish desires. For their beauty, their sweetness, their kindess. The sex. Their housework, etc etc etc.. its really a very selfish kind of love. I try to take care of them as best I can. I get their teeth fixed, when their mother didn't bother or couldn't. I give a little money when I see she is in need. Buy her a laptop, a phone, noodles. So yes, that is taking care of her. But I need to untangle my selfish desires from my real true love for them. 

 

Because they are more mature than me. They can sense when you want them for your own selfish desires, or if you love them for them. They know this. Sometimes I think they are more mature than me.

You guys make this stuff way harder than it has to be.

 

1. Where did you meet her.  If it's on an app, there's a chance she's been run thru.  Meet her and assess. Adjust expectations accordingly after intial meeting

 

2. Look at her social media.  It will tell you all you need to know about her personality.  If the first 9 pics of her IG are multi slides of her making stupid faces or thirst-trapping, then adjust your expectations and decide if you care to move on

 

3. If you made it this far check out her friend group.  What are they like? Are they all wanna-be one-uppers trying to outdo each other?  How do they act when they are out drinking?  

 

After this screening the vetting process becomes a little more granular. Someone mentioned, family relationships, her personal goals and habits, how does she dress herself when she goes out with you / friends

 

This is super simple sh!t.  It's much easier to assess women here if you view it from an objective standpoint and read everything thats being presented.  If you like to lie to yourself about what you see then you will get what you accept .

25 minutes ago, happydreamer said:

You guys make this stuff way harder than it has to be.

 

1. Where did you meet her.  If it's on an app, there's a chance she's been run thru.  Meet her and assess. Adjust expectations accordingly after intial meeting

 

2. Look at her social media.  It will tell you all you need to know about her personality.  If the first 9 pics of her IG are multi slides of her making stupid faces or thirst-trapping, then adjust your expectations and decide if you care to move on

 

3. If you made it this far check out her friend group.  What are they like? Are they all wanna-be one-uppers trying to outdo each other?  How do they act when they are out drinking?  

 

After this screening the vetting process becomes a little more granular. Someone mentioned, family relationships, her personal goals and habits, how does she dress herself when she goes out with you / friends

 

This is super simple sh!t.  It's much easier to assess women here if you view it from an objective standpoint and read everything thats being presented.  If you like to lie to yourself about what you see then you will get what you accept .

 

The problem with the initial meeting is of course that she will hide her true personality and secrets, and it is easy to do that in the first meeting. Her true personality and her backstory will only emerge months down the line.

 

In her social media she also may present a sexy or outgoing persona that has nothing to do with her real character.

 

It's not as simple as you suggest, I think.

On 4/1/2025 at 11:09 AM, scubascuba3 said:

The best way is getting a noob, noob sex worker or noob at dating farang

 the best way indeed.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

 

The problem with the initial meeting is of course that she will hide her true personality and secrets, and it is easy to do that in the first meeting. Her true personality and her backstory will only emerge months down the line.

 

In her social media she also may present a sexy or outgoing persona that has nothing to do with her real character.

 

It's not as simple as you suggest, I think.

Sexy persona / thirst-trapping is a deal breaker.  If she's seeking validation online from strangers it's a red flag.  
Self-absorption and lack of actual interests besides taking selfies is a deal breaker.  Trying to show off is a deal breaker.

True story, year 2 I left a girl at a restaurant after she was glued to the phone making stories the entire time we were there.  She walked in to meet me and was filming it.  By the time we got through the first drink I had enough.  I excused myself, gave the waitress 1000 baht and left.

 

I'd take a solid 6 or 7 who has a personality and likes to make jokes over eye-candy any day of the week.

46 minutes ago, happydreamer said:

Sexy persona / thirst-trapping is a deal breaker.  If she's seeking validation online from strangers it's a red flag.  
Self-absorption and lack of actual interests besides taking selfies is a deal breaker.  Trying to show off is a deal breaker.

True story, year 2 I left a girl at a restaurant after she was glued to the phone making stories the entire time we were there.  She walked in to meet me and was filming it.  By the time we got through the first drink I had enough.  I excused myself, gave the waitress 1000 baht and left.

 

I'd take a solid 6 or 7 who has a personality and likes to make jokes over eye-candy any day of the week.

 

The most beautiful apple is useless if it is full of worms.

 

You can't see the worms from the outside at first, you have to take a bite.

 

This is the whole point of vetting, to not just focus on her looks. But on her character.

 

Sexy persona and thirst traps IS a huge problem. It shows she's a narcisst and is convinced of her sexual attraction. Which means she thinks she is MORE attractive than you are because she's a narcissist.

 

Well done on leaving her at the table. 

20 hours ago, Rumpelstilskin said:

Meet her parents. No matter the time or cost, go see where she grew up and how the people interact with each other. Look at her mother's interaction with father --This tells you how she will treat you.  My wife didnt say she was bringing a farang guy to meet them, but they were very kind to me. None of her relatives were smoking, gambling and the place was well kept. The interactions were pleasant and caring. The next day we had the engagement ceremony.  18 years later still married and in love.

 

Yes, meet the parents and siblings by all means, but not to gain any insight through how they act or treat each other. Just use the visit to check out the size of her mum and sisters. If they are chubby buggers, don't shag her.

 

(unless you're into fat chicks, of course)

On 4/1/2025 at 10:33 AM, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

..and don't forget to talk about all those losers and left overs (farangs), incapable for any serious relationship, pretending they are not looking for it.🙏

31 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

..and don't forget to talk about all those losers and left overs (farangs), incapable for any serious relationship, pretending they are not looking for it.🙏

 

I wouldn't worry about it because one thing the Thai girl will do for sure is to VET the farang. Not in terms of family, but in terms of what is his character, is he safe, is he financially solvent, what is his social circle.

 

Just as we vet the girl, they vet the farang. They have always known how important it is to do that.

 

But you are right of course, how you show up, what you bring to the plate is crucial for long term success. 

On 4/1/2025 at 10:45 AM, spidermike007 said:

I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take over. They have to. Someone needs to be the captain!

 

Many Thai women are very clever at making it appear that they really care for "their guy". And on many occasions, that is true, especially in long term relationships. But, for short time gals, it is just a game, and they play it well. Many Western men who come here are emotionally vulnerable, or an emotional wreck, having endured years of near torture by uber-feminists. 

 

My advice would be to take your time, okay you've already invested an extraordinary amount of time into chatting with somebody online, which is something I would never do, but all that is said and done. So once you get here take your time. Don't move fast, don't move in with her, don't live with her, date her for 6 months to a year and see how you like her.

 

When you meet a girl in person that you have met online, there is a possibility that you won't even like what you see, and that there will be zero chemistry. So, keep your expectations low, and come here and really really take your time getting to know her. What this means is consistent pushback from you, because she's going to want to step up the timetable, she's going to want it to move fast, she's going to want everything to happen right away, and you're going to have to be man enough to say sorry but I need a lot of time to determine whether or not you're the right woman for me, and I need a lot of time to get to know you.

 

Always remember if it's good it's only going to get better, and if there are problems they're going to manifest themselves over time. So the worst thing you can do is rush headlong into this thing. Man up and do your gender justice. Make us proud. 

 

The best chance any man has is to really be patient and really take his time. The woman is usually going to push to move things forward because she has an agenda, and the man always has to push back. If you're not willing to be patient, if you're not willing to abide by my timeline then I'm just going to walk. Time is your ally, if it's good it's only going to get better if there are problems they're going to manifest themselves over time. Always be willing to walk, plenty more fish in the sea, especially here. 

 

That's nonsense enough for a week.❗

You gave a picture of yourself being conceited and being a bighead. 

Is that how you would like to be seen?

I realize you don't even respect women to look for just the opposite what I described. 

No woman likes to play (exceptions prostitutes).

But many men are bragging with the number of laid "girls", forgetting how much they paid and how poor their life is, incapable for any long lasting relationship. Ending sitting on the beach wall in Pattaya, No shirt but a bottle of beer in their hands and whistling after any passing by woman. 

And you think there is anybody chosing those wrecks?

And I disagree that there has to be a captain in a relationship.

In what century do you live?

Did you never came across with equality? Decisions are made consented by weighing the pros and cons, not by "Decret". You can't expect harmony by creating disharmony playing the "captain" .

I don't expect you to live in a relationship as "partnership", sharing your income, sharing good and bad times up to the end🙏.

If you need help send a PM

 

 

2 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

And I disagree that there has to be a captain in a relationship.

In what century do you live?

Did you never came across with equality? Decisions are made consented by weighing the pros and cons, not by "Decret". You can't expect harmony by creating disharmony playing the "captain" .

'

If you take the analogy of a ship with a captain, it's actually a very good one. The man has to create an attractive framework, have competence and know where he is going in life, that is his ship. The woman will vet this ship. Is it attractive enough? Is it going to the right place? Is the captain competent enough? If she is satisfied and believes this captain and his ship can make her life better she will get on and start a journey with the captain.

 

Just like the man, the woman will only enter into a relationship if the other party has something she wants. Like an attractive ship, a good lifestyle, good resources, status, good looks, charm, attention, whatever it may be. It need not be money. It often is, but it can be other things, like status, wisdom, charm, looks etc.

 

So there can NEVER be equality in a relationship. Each party only enters into the relationship because they are lacking something, which the other can provide. Otherwise there would be no relationship.

 

"Partnership" is a male fantasy. Men want an equal partner. However, women don't. Women want a benevolent  absolute monarch. Someone they can respect and look up to, whom they can trust to take the main work off of their hands and make their life better.

 

"Decisions by consent" work nowhere. Literally nowhere. Even in the corporate world you have the chairman of the board have a casting vote. In the end the captain always decides, and he has that authority. Why? Because he cannot take care of all her problems, her safety and everything if he does not have that authority. It's not possible. And this notion of decisions by consent always being possible is a fallacy, often they are not possible by consent. Which is when the authority has to lie with the captain.

 

I think Mike's analogy is correct.

6 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

If you take the analogy of a ship with a captain, it's actually a very good one

It's not a good one but extremely wrong.

Who or what makes you think only men could be captains?

And...who told you that in a marriage there should be ONE ruler?

Is a marriage/relationship not build on mutual understanding/love and equality?

Who told you to be the superior in a relationship? Maybe for those who dealing with prostitutes.

You seem to be exactly what is described as "White Old Man".

Learning process not accomplished.

23 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

Who or what makes you think only men could be captains?

 

I never said only men can be captains. These days indeed women can also be captains. However, if they build a ship and become a captain, they encounter the "Two body problem".

 

It takes a long time to become a good captain. It can take decades. The more time a man invests in becoming a captain, the less likely he will be to give all that up to become a passenger.  Therefore if a woman parks her ship at the dock, she will be competing for the male passengers. Not the male captains.

 

Men who have devoted decades of their lives to build their own boats will never park their boats and hop on a female's boat to become a passenger.

 

This is why successful career women complain there are no good men left. Because they only compete for the passengers, not for the captains.

 

Your argument that there need not be one ruler, but that there could be two is not persuasive. Captains taking turns is inefficient and dangerous. 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I never said only men can be captains. These days indeed women can also be captains. However, if they build a ship and become a captain, they encounter the "Two body problem".

 

It takes a long time to become a good captain. It can take decades. The more time a man invests in becoming a captain, the less likely he will be to give all that up to become a passenger.  Therefore if a woman parks her ship at the dock, she will competing for the male passengers. Not the male captains.

 

Men who have devoted decades of their lives to build their own boats will never park their boats and hop on a female's boat to become a passenger.

 

This is why successful career women complain there are no good men left. Because they only compete for the passengers, not for the captains.

 

Your argument that there need not be one ruler, but that there could be two is not persuasive. Captains taking turns is inefficient and dangerous. 

 

 

You try to evade the thread. It's about relationship farang/Thai, isn't it.

You never mentioned that even a woman could be an excellent Captain?

I mention this to show you that your kind of thinking is absurd, outdated, and show an "Old White Man". You're a "Yesterday Man". Sorry.

 

2 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

You try to evade the thread. It's about relationship farang/Thai, isn't it.

You never mentioned that even a woman could be an excellent Captain?

I mention this to show you that your kind of thinking is absurd, outdated, and show an "Old White Man". You're a "Yesterday Man". Sorry.

 

Indeed women can be excellent captains. But as I explained, they will not find quality passengers. Because men who have devoted decades to build their ship are not going to hop onto a woman's ship to become a passenger.

 

This applies to Thai and Farang equally.

 

You don't have arguments. Only insults. That is very regrettable. But not unexpected. Much like female captains standing at the dock, cursing there are no good male passengers.

Why is anyone responding to this clueless poster? As I said before he has never met a "real" Thai woman from an educated family. The only women he knows are "players". The ones who are just like him, but often more on the ball than he is. Looking for love on Tinder and other platforms. He could not even get the time of day from a true university graduate working in a professional field. What the heck is this captain crap as well. 

Continuously test them looking for red flags without them even knowing what you are doing. If you give them enough rope, they will eventually hang themselves. If they survive the test, then you've found a keeper.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

However, if they build a ship and become a captain, they encounter the "Two body problem".

 

What a load of hogwash.

59 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

Continuously test them looking for red flags without them even knowing what you are doing. If you give them enough rope, they will eventually hang themselves. If they survive the test, then you've found a keeper.

 

Exactly right. And of course their character, their behaviour is the key focus. For instance if you find out about her past relationship history, if she cheated on a guy before, then the odds of her cheating again are increased substantially.

 

Does she agree things with you and not abide by them? You can't trust her word? She has no integrity.

 

Does she hide important things from you? There is a lack of honesty.

 

Honesty, consistency, integrity and loyalty. These are the qualities she must have.

On 4/1/2025 at 10:33 AM, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

Why do retirees marry in Thailand ?

Rate this topic

 

By Franck60

July 7, 2024 in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

 

Everyear similar or same story.

Why?

Because farangs woke up and realized not being able to buy a long lasting relationship as a CAPTAIN.

And they are not willing to respect their Thai partner/wife as equal.

Just now, newbee2022 said:

And they are not willing to respect their Thai partner/wife as equal.

 

There is never equality in any relationship.

 

A man or woman only go into a relationship because they want something the other party has.

 

The notion that you have "equality" in a relationship is total fantasy.

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

There is never equality in any relationship.

 

A man or woman only go into a relationship because they want something the other party has.

 

The notion that you have "equality" in a relationship is total fantasy.

I see, you got bad or no experience.

And therefore you're alone and lonely.

Up to you. Maybe go to a "Good Luck Temple" before it is too late.

Good day

On 4/1/2025 at 10:33 AM, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

By setting yourself up as the 'Character Police', you have left yourself open to the question:

Who the heck, (toned down), do you think you are, what are your qualifications in the 'Characterization of Thai women' department -and what the heck, (toned down), has it got to do with you?

And no, I don't want to 'characterize Thai women. They are OK as they are.

No different from all other women in the world!

And you don't appear to know very much about Thai women, either.

Or women in general for that matter.

49 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

Because farangs woke up and realized not being able to buy a long lasting relationship as a CAPTAIN.

And they are not willing to respect their Thai partner/wife as equal.

Someone who left school age 12 is not my equal ......... but they may be your equal!

16 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Someone who left school age 12 is not my equal ......... but they may be your equal!

Yes, with 12 I left for High School. Do you know High School? 

7 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

Yes, with 12 I left for High School. Do you know High School? 

Did you skip the English lessons?

21 minutes ago, Bundooman said:

By setting yourself up as the 'Character Police', you have left yourself open to the question:

Who the heck, (toned down), do you think you are, what are your qualifications in the 'Characterization of Thai women' department -and what the heck, (toned down), has it got to do with you?

And no, I don't want to 'characterize Thai women. They are OK as they are.

No different from all other women in the world!

And you don't appear to know very much about Thai women, either.

Or women in general for that matter.

Thank you. This kind of comment is not common. Thank you❗👍🥰