25 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I have preconceived notions that women are mentally ill, and that's the sort I always meet.

Guess it's my fault then?

 

It's not a preconceived notion, sadly, it is absolutely the reality, particularly in Asia where a lot of girls come from homes where the grandmother raised the girl, the mother was a promiscuous drunk, there was no father figure, there are a lot of mentally ill, broken women out there. Narcissists, girls with BPD, girls who simply do not have the skills for pair bonding, they cannot feel. As soon as they feel anything they want to run, because the weight of a real relationship, the boredom, it is too much for them, they can't handle it. They only want happy, happy, happy, they only want dopamine and fun fun fun. This is not a girl you can have a relationship with. A relationship will become boring, it will become hard work, and only if both put in the effort to resolve the issues can it work.

 

So no, it's not your fault. If you have been in Asia a long time, it is almost certain that most of the women you met were mentally ill. Probably in the west too, these days.

 

It's our job to weed out the mentally ill, and find that rare securely attached, healthy, normal girl that is able to pair bond and has the skills and can actually feel.

21 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

why is a crazy woman a bad thing? you can view it a challenge, something to work with. 

 

It's not if you just want fun yourself, then a crazy woman can be a lot of fun and you can indulge in some crazy.

 

However, if you want a long term relationship with a girl, if she's crazy it will not work. Her crazy behaviour will cause issues that will doom the rel to failure. Cheating is the usual issue.

2 hours ago, Cameroni said:

As a general rule she will have a supply at will, a giant candystore of guys to choose from,

You asked about a Thai woman, so, I assumed you live in Thailand???? Do you not?

 

Here it is the girls who have little choice [maybe a bit more so these days] and it has always been me who has a line out the door of women who would scoop me up in a minute if I were available. Even at my old age, there are plenty of women who have let me know that they would love to have me... it is the Western World where the dynamic is different. 

 

Now, I will allow that maybe things have changed somewhat here for younger men and ladies. But I would not want to be with a young lady. I have no physical attraction at all to any lady under 40 pretty much.  But 50s is much better for me... 

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I have preconceived notions that women are mentally ill, and that's the sort I always meet.

Guess it's my fault then?

 

At last! Now we're getting somewhere.

11 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I have no physical attraction at all to any lady under 40 pretty much.

age is not a minor issue.

OP mentioned he is interested in 20 year olds. 

I remember in college I was into this girl. And she ended up marrying this beefy tough guy. He turned out to be an ahole. They got divorced a few years later. She met me many years later and only then was interested in me ... after learning the hard way marrying an ahole. Now she appreciates someone like me. 

20 year olds lack maturity, are more likely to sleep around, many more guys are chasing them, maybe they need to go through a few bad relationships or a bad marriage before they grow up. 

 

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

You asked about a Thai woman, so, I assumed you live in Thailand???? Do you not?

 

Here it is the girls who have little choice [maybe a bit more so these days] and it has always been me who has a line out the door of women who would scoop me up in a minute if I were available. Even at my old age, there are plenty of women who have let me know that they would love to have me... it is the Western World where the dynamic is different. 

 

Now, I will allow that maybe things have changed somewhat here for younger men and ladies. But I would not want to be with a young lady. I have no physical attraction at all to any lady under 40 pretty much.  But 50s is much better for me... 

 

Lol, yah, if you go for 50 year old grandmas, sure there may be a long line at your door. Please don't call 50 year old grandmas "girls", they are old women.

 

I can't believe there are guys who take pride in 50 year old grandmas "scooping them up" in a minute. But okay.

 

You have no physical attraction to a hot 24 year old. Are you serious?  Why would you prefer a 50 year old grandma? She is hotter for you?

10 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

age is not a minor issue.

I don't remember saying that age is a minor issue. Even when I was 50, a 20 year old was too young for me. I like reciprocity and don't think that there are 20 year olds who would want to sleep with a grandpa... 

 

Different people want different things at different ages in their life. 

the guy that I am conversing with is way too afraid of a relationship gone wrong that he has ideas to sabotage the relationship, like frequently checking her phone and interrogating her and not letting her breathe amidst constant vetting. I would rather a lady left me than to have to worry about her fidelity or whatever else this guy imagines. But, I never expected that I would be the only man that was attractive to any one woman. They are human and relationships can get old and new relationships can be exciting.. that's life. And maybe my relationship has lasted long because of the fact that I want my wife to enjoy her life, with or without me there at any given moment. 

 

 

22 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

20 year olds lack maturity, are more likely to sleep around, many more guys are chasing them, maybe they need to go through a few bad relationships or a bad marriage before they grow up. 

 

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. 20 year olds do lack maturity, but what's worse, they are KEENLY aware of their good looks being at their apex. So what they want to do is to "explore their options", ie cheat on any guy mercilessly until they are convinced they can't do any better.

 

This inevitably entails a number of BAD relationships, which is why older women with so much baggage are so messed up, but also more prepared to compromise.

 

Dating a 20 year old you go in knowing that they are predisposed to cheat, lack maturity and so on, but at least when you look at them at night you don't hate yourself.

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

Lol, yah, if you go for 50 year old grandmas, sure there may be a long line at your door. Please don't call 50 year old grandmas "girls", they are old women.

 

I can't believe there are guys who take pride in 50 year old grandmas "scooping them up" in a minute. But okay.

 

You have no physical attraction to a hot 24 year old. Are you serious?  Why would you prefer a 50 year old grandma? She is hotter for you?

Reciprocity - a 20 year old is not likely to be physically into a grandpa - I certainly wouldn't be into a girl that is not physically into me - but even when I was 50, 20 year olds were like little girls to me and though sure, they were pretty, they were not attractive. 

 

But, I definitely am wise enough to know that a pretty face is not the only characteristic that makes someone attractive - though if a girl is going to make you jealous, I will tell you that for every woman, having a guy who is jealous and angry, the guy becomes very ugly, very fast. Check her phone? Wow that is ugly!!

On 4/6/2025 at 8:49 AM, Cameroni said:

The best way to find out is close at hand : Her phone

a complete and ugly as it gets violation of trust... you would actually check her phone and then interrogate on who she spoke with - - I never did that in my life - - You really know how to show a girl a good time... 

6 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Reciprocity - a 20 year old is not likely to be physically into a grandpa - I certainly wouldn't be into a girl that is not physically into me - but even when I was 50, 20 year olds were like little girls to me and though sure, they were pretty, they were not attractive. 

 

But, I definitely am wise enough to know that a pretty face is not the only characteristic that makes someone attractive - though if a girl is going to make you jealous, I will tell you that for every woman, having a guy who is jealous and angry, the guy becomes very ugly, very fast. Check her phone? Wow that is ugly!!

 

Either you are physically attractive, or you are not. Whether the lady is 20 or 50 it won't change that fact. Just because she is 50 does not magically turn you into an attractive man. If 20 year olds don't find you physically attractive a 50 year old won't either. 

 

She may compromise more, but that's not the same as her finding you attractive.

 

Having said that you are of course right, that HER attraction to you is one of THE most important things. If she's not attracted to you, it won't work. The thing is for women, whilst looks matter, they don't matter in the fundamental way as they do for men. It's different for women.

 

Indeed, it is also true that her physical attraction is not the only thing that matters, hence the whole point of vetting her character. And yes, if you are too jealous, get angry and check her phone too much, that can lower her attraction to you, obviously. Checking the phone may be ugly, but the alternative is potentially her texting to her ex about meeting up in Bangkok. I actually found my ex doing this and was able to nip it in the bud, she cut contact with her ex after I found her texts.

11 hours ago, Cameroni said:

She is hotter for you?

On first glance, a 20 yr old appears hotter. 

But older women are often hotter, or can be (some are not attractive at all) ... because hotness is a magical mystical blend of je ne sais quoi ... a woman with some maturity and life experience can be sexy. More to talk about, more depth of soul that you can bounce your personality off of. And all of that creates desire, not just a younger body. 

One interesting video I watched ... why can't guys get it up sometimes? They pop viagra ... but actually lack of emotional bond is often a reason ... and maybe easier to develop an emotional bond with a more mature woman. 

 

1 minute ago, save the frogs said:

On first glance, a 20 yr old appears hotter. 

But older women are often hotter, or can be (some are not attractive at all) ... because hotness is a magical mystical blend of je ne sais quoi ... a woman with some maturity and life experience can be sexy. More to talk about, more depth of soul that you can bounce your personality off of. And all of that creates desire, not just a younger body. 

One interesting video I watched ... why can't guys get it up sometimes? They pop viagra ... but actually lack of emotional bond is often a reason ... and maybe easier to develop an emotional bond with a more mature woman. 

 

 

You DO need to develop that emotional intimacy, no doubt about it. it is actually more important than physical intimacy. And yes, there are older women who can be sexy, sure, it's very rare, but it does exist.

 

Yet, as sexy as that 50 year old might be by appealing to your personality, a a sexy 20 year old is just the real thing, if you can develop emotional intimacy with her, then that is preferable to being with a 50 year old generally. Because the physical degradation is obvious on many levels.

7 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

a complete and ugly as it gets violation of trust... you would actually check her phone and then interrogate on who she spoke with - - I never did that in my life - - You really know how to show a girl a good time... 

 

Look, she showed your naked butt and private parts. She can't claim "privacy" once you're a couple and had sex.

 

Is it unpleasant for her? Sure. Are the results mindblowing? Often they are, and you should check her phone, because the odds are she has a secret online life you have no idea about. 

 

You are right though, you need to show her a good time after that, to make her forget. This is important, I agree.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

She is hotter for you?

absolutely - 20 year olds look like children. 

Just now, 1FinickyOne said:

absolutely - 20 year olds look like children. 

 

What is hot about a 50 year old woman, pray tell?

6 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

What is hot about a 50 year old woman, pray tell?

Mostly, it is how they respond to you... there is also an experience factor too. Just as you can't imagine how an older lady can be sexy, I cannot imagine how a 20 year old can be sexy - to each his own -

 

But, I can imagine how being jealous and possessive can be a living hell. I hope you outgrow these qualities which are guaranteed to make you and the apple of your eye both miserable. What a horrific way to live. 

15 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Mostly, it is how they respond to you... there is also an experience factor too. Just as you can't imagine how an older lady can be sexy, I cannot imagine how a 20 year old can be sexy - to each his own -

 

But, I can imagine how being jealous and possessive can be a living hell. I hope you outgrow these qualities which are guaranteed to make you and the apple of your eye both miserable. What a horrific way to live. 

 

Okay, I can understand how a certain response can be sexy. But the neck folds, the wrinkled face, hands and elbows, the menopause, the inability to bear children, her long list of previous men, none of this bothers you?

 

Look, I was never jealous or possessive, after 34 years of long rels. Only when I came to Asia and found the girls cheating, which never happened before, did I ever get jealous. Because there WAS REASON. They cheated! So now, obviously, knowing what I know, I would rather vet her character and stop that from happening again.

 

You are right though, if you take this behaviour too far, to the point it becomes annoying for her, you will lower her attraction, you need to do it in healthy doses.

35 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

What is hot about a 50 year old woman, pray tell?

A hell of a lot if you have been together for nearly 25 years!

37 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

absolutely - 20 year olds look like children. 

And act like it in many cases.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

 

Okay, I can understand how a certain response can be sexy. But the neck folds, the wrinkled face, hands and elbows, the menopause, the inability to bear children, her long list of previous men, none of this bothers you?

 

Look, I was never jealous or possessive, after 34 years of long rels. Only when I came to Asia and found the girls cheating, which never happened before, did I ever get jealous. Because there WAS REASON. They cheated! So now, obviously, knowing what I know, I would rather vet her character and stop that from happening again.

 

You are right though, if you take this behaviour too far, to the point it becomes annoying for her, you will lower her attraction, you need to do it in healthy doses.

If you are going out with bargirls - you will always be a customer... not that that is a bad thing... the only thing that is really important is how genuinely happy they are to see you and how much fun you have together... and how well they treat you when you are together... 

 

most of the 50 year olds i know are in pretty good shape, but it is more the sparkle in the eye and I am 75 - - 

3 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Look, she showed your naked butt and private parts. She can't claim "privacy" once you're a couple and had sex.

why is that? I think privacy is a normal courtesy and request. When you check her phone can you read Thai? 

3 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

If you are going out with bargirls - you will always be a customer... not that that is a bad thing... the only thing that is really important is how genuinely happy they are to see you and how much fun you have together... and how well they treat you when you are together... 

 

most of the 50 year olds i know are in pretty good shape, but it is more the sparkle in the eye and I am 75 - - 

 

I quite agree, which is why I never go out with bargirls. Only "normal" girls.

1 minute ago, 1FinickyOne said:

why is that? I think privacy is a normal courtesy and request. When you check her phone can you read Thai? 

 

Because once she shows you her anus I think privacy is out the window.  

 

Why would she need privacy from her partner anyway? Unless it is to hide things?

 

I use google translate of course. I have several devices, so I just use one to photo translate using Google translate.

47 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I quite agree, which is why I never go out with bargirls. Only "normal" girls.

Where do you get them from and how much?

 

Asking for a friend!

48 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I have several devices

Of a sexual nature?

2 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

I quite agree, which is why I never go out with bargirls. Only "normal" girls.

And what do you think you have to offer a 'normal' girl? 

 

Do you live and meet these 'normal' girls in Pattaya? 

58 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

And what do you think you have to offer a 'normal' girl? 

 

Do you live and meet these 'normal' girls in Pattaya? 

 

A lot.

 

No. I source them from all over Thailand and ask them to come fly to me in Chiang Mai. I send them a ticket and they come to me. Sometimes I fly to Bangkok to meet them.

Well from personal experience of a Thai psychotic female I stupidly wasted a few years and £ ,000's on I would recommend to start by assuming all Thai women are basically incapable of being faithful and are manipulative, destructive liars only using you the western male as a route to a visa to escape their existing lives in Thailand. Mine certainly was as well as being violent and sexually abusive to both her young daughter and myself. 

I learned too late in the process that nothing which came out of her mouth was the truth. Her daughter enlightened me as to her mother's activities and behaviours.

 

 

6 minutes ago, Phil1964 said:

Well from personal experience of a Thai psychotic female I stupidly wasted a few years and £ ,000's on I would recommend to start by assuming all Thai women are basically incapable of being faithful and are manipulative, destructive liars only using you the western male as a route to a visa to escape their existing lives in Thailand. Mine certainly was as well as being violent and sexually abusive to both her young daughter and myself. 

I learned too late in the process that nothing which came out of her mouth was the truth. Her daughter enlightened me as to her mother's activities and behaviours.

 

 

 

What were those activities and behaviours?