Constitution? Don't Know Much About It - Never Met the Geezer

[Lewie London]

Right, so the president in the States, yeah? Someone asked him, “Do you have to uphold the Constitution?” and what does he do? Blinks, gives a cheeky smirk, and goes, “I don’t know.” What’s that? Not a slip-up, that’s a bloody confession! It’s like a surgeon turnin’ round and sayin’, “Do I need to wash me hands?” or a pilot goin’, “Are wings even important?” This ain’t no pub quiz, mate. You don’t get a gold star for honesty when you’re holdin’ the nuclear football and treatin’ it like a bloody beach ball!

 

So, what’s this confusion all about, then? Deportations, innit. Wants to do a right fast-track on bootin’ out migrants without so much as a “by your leave” cos it’s “too time-consumin’.” Oh, sorry, pal, is the Constitution slowin’ you down on your little dictator dress-up? Why don’t we just get a prize wheel for the justice system? “Step right up, spin the wheel, and if it lands on red, you’re off to El Salvador! No courts, no nothin’.” Bloody hell, mate, that’s lawin’ it up like a game show, innit.

 

Then he tries to play the “I’m not a lawyer” card. Well, you’re not a meteorologist either, but that didn’t stop you from drawin’ on a hurricane map with a sharpie, did it? Not a doctor, but you told folks to inject bleach up their noses. Not a vet, but you scoffed horse paste like it was a packet of Tic Tacs. So forgive me if I don’t buy “I’m not a lawyer” as an excuse to piss all over the rules that keep the country from turnin’ into a circus.

 

And what’s he doin’ with the checks and balances? Treatin’ ‘em like optional software updates. Congress? Nah, forget it. Courts? Ignore ‘em. Ethics laws? More like gentle suggestions from the back of the class. Every time he gets asked ‘bout limits to his power, he plays the daft kid act like he’s just eaten all the cookies and doesn’t know where the crumbs came from. The only branch of government he respects is the one he can sit on and break.

 

And the muppets ‘round him? Less of a cabinet, more like a merry-go-round of sycophants and bargain-bin Rasputins. Every week, it’s another lawyer or advisor draggin’ him out to translate his nonsense into somethin’ that looks like policy. “What the president meant,” they say, like tryin’ to polish beef jerky and call it a diamond. If the Constitution’s the guardrail, his lot are busy sawing it in half and sellin’ the bits on Truth Social.

 

And the rallies? They keep rollin’ on like a bloody sideshow. His followers lap it up like it’s spicy political theatre, not a mental breakdown in real-time. One minute he’s forgettin’ basic legal duties, the next he’s takin’ court rulings like a personal vendetta. If Joe Biden forgets what day it is, it’s all over the news. Trump forgets democracy and they call it “refreshin’ candor.” The bar’s so low it’s basically a bloody trip hazard.

 

So yeah. America’s new strategy for runnin’ the show is vibes, ignorance, and just shovellin’ the blame elsewhere. The only oath Trump respects is swearin’ at facts ‘til they pack up and leave the room. I don’t know either, Mr. President, sir. But I do know I wouldn’t trust you to run a bath, let alone a country teeterin’ on the edge, while you’re busy Googlin’ what the Constitution even is.

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