On 10/9/2025 at 10:11 PM, MalcolmB said:

 

So in the 20% bracket.

 

That is a lot of years married all up.

 

You must be old.

He probably only 75. I been married 3 times. 21yo married 9 years. 31yo married 29 years, 62yo married now 13 years to a fantastic lady. Not all Thai ladies want an ATM but a loving relationship. I now 75 and have the best wife who puts me before any body else or anything. Sure she's not the only one in Thailand. All the horror stories I here on here probably come from the tattooed bar scene.

 

43 minutes ago, Sir Dude said:

Nah, that's all too much drama... just get a trophy wife if you have enough money. This "having a real Thai woman" stuff is often said in a deluded and over-rated-pitch-style way to sound in-the-know or superior, and they are often wrong and these girls are just as bad, just in a different way. There are success stories, but they are in the minority.

Which would you want, the traditional government service type with a degree that is a yellow shirt (and expectations to match) with a nightmare family, or the easy-to-hang-out-with carefree trophy wife that isn't a bar girl or ex-hooker? And before anyone complains, they can easily be found outside the tourist trap places with a bit of patience.

The way to do that is to decide on your style of woman, i.e. short/tall/slim/pear-shaped/long legs/tiny backside/big breasts to whatever you like... then go meeting those types until you find one you are willing to give some time to/waste energy on... doesn't mean she's the one, just means you'll see where it goes. Many guys just fall head-over-heels for a girl because of a superficial facade and don't dig deeper because they are often desperate... and these girls are pros at pushing buttons in guys, especially foreigners. Older guys that get here after a traumatic past in the West are often easy targets as they are craving the attention and love etc., which they have been denied for often years/decades.

Trick is to meet women outside of tourist traps and not do anything hasty, let her work and you be be a little indifferent... just hang out if you are here for a long time, and if you are not, then realise long-distance relationships rarely work, especially here (just enjoy the 3-day rule). No rush to do anything... I dated my wife for four years before officially marrying her, now married for 25 years.

Many foreigners come to Thailand to reinvent themselves after a boring job and divorce in their mid-50s or 60s, then suddenly think they are 22 again in Pattaya or go on online dating apps and meet some girl and it all soon falls apart pronto. Best thing you can do is stay single for at least two years here during your orientation before thinking about some girl as a long-term partner, the internet is full of horror stories... try the YouTube channel "Extreme Expat Stories" in Thailand.

Be shewd, don't splash your cash (even if you have it) and bide your time if you want to stay here longer term... easy to get lost in the fantasy paradise dream and so many expats that want to come and reinvent themselves in Thailand last at most 2 years because they make the same mistakes... bar girls/hookers are a "No" and the dating apps are full of pros, scammers, and those with high body counts with multiple boyfriends farming people.

Your idea of love is way different to theirs and you are running different software to these women... you think about solving problems, fixing things, or protecting and building, whereas they are thinking about future safety and extraction of resources. Need to be careful in most cases... yes, there are success stories, but as I said, they are in the minority, big time.

There are many success stories, I have 10 friends who all have very happy long term relationships, not one of them met there wives in a bar. 

My wife drives me crazy, not to keep money for her but to spend it  to make my last year's happy.

I want to leave her something for when I am gone.

On 10/9/2025 at 7:38 AM, brianburi said:

Clearly you haven't been here too long,   we all hooked up with the cashier.

"hired guns can't run"..is how you bag them.

On 10/8/2025 at 5:11 PM, kokesaat said:

During a remarriage counseling, a US Air Force counselor  told us our mixed marriage had a 90%chance of failing within the first year .  We've been toasting him every Feb 13th for the past 52 years.

I’m a newly wed my bride and I are going on 40 years of marriage definitely changed my life’s course for the better.she’s a superb cook a hard worker has my back and is still cuter than a bugs ear.

6 hours ago, Sir Dude said:

yes, there are success stories, but as I said, they are in the minority, big time.

 

Both parties must be willing to make an effort. Whatever the endeavour, success doesn't happen out of nowhere.

6 hours ago, Sir Dude said:

Older guys that get here after a traumatic past in the West

 

An overrepresented demographic on Thai forums. In their Autumn years, in Thailand to get their revenge on life after decades of a castrative marriage and a menial job in the West.

3 minutes ago, rattlesnake said:

An overrepresented demographic on Thai forums. In their Autumn years, in Thailand to get their revenge on life after decades of a castrative marriage and a menial job in the West.

Then end up complaining here because they hate it...😂

2 hours ago, Tug said:

I’m a newly wed my bride and I are going on 40 years of marriage definitely changed my life’s course for the better.she’s a superb cook a hard worker has my back and is still cuter than a bugs ear.

I had 2 marriages, the first one 30 years the second one 22 years at the moment and still going strong 

Does the OP really want to know, or is this yet another misongenystic, Thai girl bashing thread?

7 hours ago, Bruce Aussie said:

He probably only 75. I been married 3 times. 21yo married 9 years. 31yo married 29 years, 62yo married now 13 years to a fantastic lady. Not all Thai ladies want an ATM but a loving relationship. I now 75 and have the best wife who puts me before any body else or anything. Sure she's not the only one in Thailand. All the horror stories I here on here probably come from the tattooed bar scene.

 

Agree, and my age is nearly 80 for your information.

On 10/9/2025 at 2:22 PM, DaddyWarbucks said:

Spot on.

Most farangs come here too late in life.

Too late to master the language and achieve basic literacy.

Too late to attract anything better than a mercenary woman and become a cash cow for her greedy relatives.

   Living among low-life Thais is a no-win situation.

The language issue is important in so many ways.

Not speaking the lingo is a sensory deprivation akin to being deaf and dumb. You just don't know what is going on around you. 

Some people seem to be born with an aptitude for learning languages.

I wasn't, but I overcame it to learn Thai because I didn't want my Thai wife and our two daughters to see me as an illiterate who couldn't speak the language.