Are Farangs Who Marriages Failed Lucky?

[bendix]

old man with young chick = old man trying to be young again but failing miserably. Like the emperor with new clothes.

Tsk tsk Jet. I expect better than thaivisa cliches from you.

If a guy can, he will. If a woman can, she will. Where both can't, they don't.

You can judge human nature all you like, but you can't change it.

[meemiathai]

old man with young chick = old man trying to be young again but failing miserably. Like the emperor with new clothes.

What makes you think old man are with young chicks because they are trying to be young? You have almost definately understood it wrongly. It is as simple as they are just attracted to a good looking woman. And that's it.

All people, men and women, want to be young. Because it is perceived by the society as being attractive. And every natural human being wants to be attractive.

[meemiathai]

When I read some of the posts here, I feel lucky that I don't have to date/marry/f* their authors to survive, unlike the women of Thailand.

Nice one CG.

Agreed.

[ColPyat]

Personally - when i see some 50 something year old bloke in the department store with his juvenile wife (as i did yesterday when i returned my videos), and both can't even communicate the barest minimum without using their hands and feet, i feel very embarrassed.

Although I enjoy a lot of your posts, I must say I disagree with you on this.

Trying to communicate even if it is difficult to is part of the fun in a relationship too. If both parties are ok, then everything is fine.

In theory, i might agree with your sentiments, but lets not get too PC here.

The vast majority here of relationships with a huge age gap (be they Thai-Thai, or Farang-Thai) is an arrangement of convenience - the young women gets the financial security, the old man gets a nice body. So yes, be honest about it, no problem. But lets not interpret anything into this that rarely is there.

There are exceptions, no doubt about that. I do know a few. But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

[Cobalt60]

And the winning post is from..........Bendix

[Maigo6]

.

Who is anyone to judge or feel embarassed or full of pity for anyone else's relationship. In the word of my dear old dad, perhaps people should mind their own f****g businesses what other people are doing, and worry more about themselves.

If a 50 year old guy wants to date a 22 year old, so what? If a 50 year old, wants to date a 65 year old thai woman, so what?

It's nothing to do with you, me or the garden post.

You are of course right Bendix, as usual.

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it's totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

Yet, Charlie Smith a plumber from Darlington gets a young wife, then all of a sudden he is the target of venom spitting moralists and judgemental prix who are in the main just envious, cos they can relate with Charlie Smith and get pissed off cos of what Charlie Smith has.

You're dead a long time chaps, just be happy.

[chinthee]

.

Who is anyone to judge or feel embarassed or full of pity for anyone else's relationship. In the word of my dear old dad, perhaps people should mind their own f****g businesses what other people are doing, and worry more about themselves.

If a 50 year old guy wants to date a 22 year old, so what? If a 50 year old, wants to date a 65 year old thai woman, so what?

It's nothing to do with you, me or the garden post.

You are of course right Bendix, as usual.

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

Yet, Charlie Smith a plumber from Darlington gets a young wife, then all of a sudden he is the target of venom spitting moralists and judgemental prix who are in the main just envious, cos they can relate with Charlie Smith.

You're dead a long time chaps, just be happy.

Yes, I have to agree with you both on this one. I think that it is the "plumber from Darlington" that gets to have maybe his first shot at the title in life is what irks people so much. So many people just want to keep people in their place.

[ColPyat]

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

Isn't that what Thailand is about for so many - you can feel like a rock star? True Disneyland for the average western adult. Lovely jubbly...

[Maigo6]

Lovely jubbly...

You know it makes sense................

[donna]

i, for one, think a mans brain is far more sexy than his six pack.

Good.... I can put the bike away and start working on my algebra.

What about an old man's brain? I would like to hear it from more farang women. I get the impression that for a lot of farang women, when a man becomes old he belongs to the dust bin.

not necessarily true meemiathai. there are many sexy older men around. one TV member i met is 60 yrs old, yet looks only 50 or so. he is one sexy man who looks after himself (happily in a relationship but theres no harm in looking, is there?). now, thats an external thing - aesthetics. luckily enough that particular man is also a gentleman. if he werent such a nice bloke, i wouldnt look twice at him.

there are other men who may not be oil paintings, but they are lovely men all the same, and i find them attractive because i 'know' them.

personally, i would not write off a man who is older, but generally speaking i would prefer someone around my own age. been there done that with younger thai blokes, and i dont think i would go there again. someone with similar life experience is all that i want.

[bendix]

But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Hahahahahahaah . . . no, really. . . . hahahahahahahaha. You mean like marriages in the west?

If we want to talk honestly and put aside the PC element here for a moment, let's face up to a fundamental truth. Marriages - as we in the west have been accustomed to accept them - have failed. The model stinks, LARGELY because of the changes in western society over the past 50-60 years. In today's western society, both parties work and it is (ostensibly) at least, a marriage of equals. Equal economically, equal in decision-making, equal in sharing household chores.

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

So who's to say the model being pioneered here isn't likely to be more successful? Because, let's face it, the marriage the PC people here are looking down upon (difference in ages, cultural gaps, economic mismatch where one party relies on the other etc) look pretty similar from those that were undertaken by our grandparents in Darlington England and Des Moine <deleted> Iowa to me.

[true blue]

.

Who is anyone to judge or feel embarassed or full of pity for anyone else's relationship. In the word of my dear old dad, perhaps people should mind their own f****g businesses what other people are doing, and worry more about themselves.

If a 50 year old guy wants to date a 22 year old, so what? If a 50 year old, wants to date a 65 year old thai woman, so what?

It's nothing to do with you, me or the garden post.

You are of course right Bendix, as usual.

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

Yet, Charlie Smith a plumber from Darlington gets a young wife, then all of a sudden he is the target of venom spitting moralists and judgemental prix who are in the main just envious, cos they can relate with Charlie Smith.

You're dead a long time chaps, just be happy.

Yes, I have to agree with you both on this one. I think that it is the "plumber from Darlington" that gets to have maybe his first shot at the title in life is what irks people so much. So many people just want to keep people in their place.

rock on mate what the f its got to do with other people just amuses me must have or lived awful shallow lifes

[meemiathai]

Personally - when i see some 50 something year old bloke in the department store with his juvenile wife (as i did yesterday when i returned my videos), and both can't even communicate the barest minimum without using their hands and feet, i feel very embarrassed.

Although I enjoy a lot of your posts, I must say I disagree with you on this.

Trying to communicate even if it is difficult to is part of the fun in a relationship too. If both parties are ok, then everything is fine.

In theory, i might agree with your sentiments, but lets not get too PC here.

The vast majority here of relationships with a huge age gap (be they Thai-Thai, or Farang-Thai) is an arrangement of convenience - the young women gets the financial security, the old man gets a nice body. So yes, be honest about it, no problem. But lets not interpret anything into this that rarely is there.

There are exceptions, no doubt about that. I do know a few. But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Glad you understood. I knew you are a intelligent man.

But I think shouldn't we the society judge people less. It is reality. There is no way as an outsider to know whether a relationship is based on what. Shouldn't give anyone in our society the benefit of doubt.

I understand that there are a lot, probably most relationships here in thailand between farangs and thai girls that are based on convenience. But there could be young women really in love with old men. If the man is genuinely in love with the lady and treats her well I can't see why they cannot be together.

And for those who are just buying love, the girls are also selling. Hard to tell when it is right or wrong as an outsider. Let them live in peace.

[meemiathai]

.

Who is anyone to judge or feel embarassed or full of pity for anyone else's relationship. In the word of my dear old dad, perhaps people should mind their own f****g businesses what other people are doing, and worry more about themselves.

If a 50 year old guy wants to date a 22 year old, so what? If a 50 year old, wants to date a 65 year old thai woman, so what?

It's nothing to do with you, me or the garden post.

You are of course right Bendix, as usual.

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

Yet, Charlie Smith a plumber from Darlington gets a young wife, then all of a sudden he is the target of venom spitting moralists and judgemental prix who are in the main just envious, cos they can relate with Charlie Smith.

You're dead a long time chaps, just be happy.

Yes, I have to agree with you both on this one. I think that it is the "plumber from Darlington" that gets to have maybe his first shot at the title in life is what irks people so much. So many people just want to keep people in their place.

And the west is not a power and status orientated society.

[LaoPo]

It appears that the very rich, rock stars, movie stars etc can have a much younger wife or girlfriend and it totally acceptable to the majority of people, cos they know that they are out of their league when trying to compare themselves with these people.

True

Anne Nicole Smith married

But both dead now...

LaoPo

[Maigo6]

I think that it is the "plumber from Darlington" that gets to have maybe his first shot at the title in life is what irks people so much. So many people just want to keep people in their place.

Exactly,

he's like Rocky Balboa, the underdog that done well for himself, he went for it and succeeded against all the odds.

Most people like the Rocky movies cos Rocky comes across as a guy most people can relate to, kinda like a working class hero, and it's just a movie...........

In reality envy and bitterness play a role in peoples perceptions of those that they think have risen above their station.

[meemiathai]

i, for one, think a mans brain is far more sexy than his six pack.

Good.... I can put the bike away and start working on my algebra.

What about an old man's brain? I would like to hear it from more farang women. I get the impression that for a lot of farang women, when a man becomes old he belongs to the dust bin.

not necessarily true meemiathai. there are many sexy older men around. one TV member i met is 60 yrs old, yet looks only 50 or so. he is one sexy man who looks after himself (happily in a relationship but theres no harm in looking, is there?). now, thats an external thing - aesthetics. luckily enough that particular man is also a gentleman. if he werent such a nice bloke, i wouldnt look twice at him.

there are other men who may not be oil paintings, but they are lovely men all the same, and i find them attractive because i 'know' them.

personally, i would not write off a man who is older, but generally speaking i would prefer someone around my own age. been there done that with younger thai blokes, and i dont think i would go there again. someone with similar life experience is all that i want.

Good for you. But I have read quite a few posts here from men and women who disagree with these relationships which I think is considered narrow-mindedness.

[chinthee]

But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Hahahahahahaah . . . no, really. . . . hahahahahahahaha. You mean like marriages in the west?

If we want to talk honestly and put aside the PC element here for a moment, let's face up to a fundamental truth. Marriages - as we in the west have been accustomed to accept them - have failed. The model stinks, LARGELY because of the changes in western society over the past 50-60 years. In today's western society, both parties work and it is (ostensibly) at least, a marriage of equals. Equal economically, equal in decision-making, equal in sharing household chores.

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

So who's to say the model being pioneered here isn't likely to be more successful? Because, let's face it, the marriage the PC people here are looking down upon (difference in ages, cultural gaps, economic mismatch where one party relies on the other etc) look pretty similar from those that were undertaken by our grandparents in Darlington England and Des Moine <deleted> Iowa to me.

Darn, I hate to agree whole heartedly with you, but I do. So very few marriages seem to make it anywhere really, except for those weird arranged ones in India and elsewhere based on religious castes, etc..

And, for those who say many if not most marriages are not based on economic factors, that is untrue. Men are still looked upon to provide a living in most places I know, even if the woman works, and for those (of us) who still monthly shell out painful amounts of money for alimony, you never forget that fact. Merely reducing this to a simpler understanding as it seems in Thailand is nothing earth shattering. And, even here, money is an object in most good girl marriages too.

[ColPyat]

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

You have a point there, somewhat.

But, i guess it depends very much on one's personal experiences. Neither have i had to witness a messy divorce with my parents, nor am i a branded result of a messy divorce myself.

So, personally, against all odds, i am romantically inclined, and believe in relationships based on friendship, mutual respect and a deep understanding - and not just with my mates, but also and especially with my wife.

But then, i am not a Brit.

[highdiver]

But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Hahahahahahaah . . . no, really. . . . hahahahahahahaha. You mean like marriages in the west?

If we want to talk honestly and put aside the PC element here for a moment, let's face up to a fundamental truth. Marriages - as we in the west have been accustomed to accept them - have failed. The model stinks, LARGELY because of the changes in western society over the past 50-60 years. In today's western society, both parties work and it is (ostensibly) at least, a marriage of equals. Equal economically, equal in decision-making, equal in sharing household chores.

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

So who's to say the model being pioneered here isn't likely to be more successful? Because, let's face it, the marriage the PC people here are looking down upon (difference in ages, cultural gaps, economic mismatch where one party relies on the other etc) look pretty similar from those that were undertaken by our grandparents in Darlington England and Des Moine <deleted> Iowa to me.

hit the nail on the head.

i would also like to add that marriage as an instituation began many many years ago.

only a 140 years ago the life expactancy of the avreage human was about 45-50

200 years ago it was about 30-35.

so when they invented the phrase"till death do us a part"........ no one intended this to go on for 40-50 years.

[meemiathai]

Money is something which provides you with what you need to survive like food, water, living, going to the doctors...etc.

Since it is so important, how can it not be considered when one is choosing a partner.

I don't believe my wife married me just for my good looks!

[WaiWai]

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

Do we have any evidence for this ? In the past people were far more likely to avoid divorce than now.

Reverting to the relationship models of the past seems to me less likely to be workable in the today's world than other models might; or simply, more flexibility might.

[bendix]

Darn, I hate to agree whole heartedly with you, but I do.

chinthee, it happens so rarely that I wouldnt worry about it.

I find it usually happens only when you raise your game a little, as on this occasion.

[chinthee]

Darn, I hate to agree whole heartedly with you, but I do.

chinthee, it happens so rarely that I wouldnt worry about it.

I find it usually happens only when you raise your game a little, as on this occasion.

You know of course I gave you that one to make up for being mean on the airport threads.

[bendix]

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

Do we have any evidence for this ? In the past people were far more likely to avoid divorce than now.

For a couple of very distinct reasons, both of them no longer appropriate.

The first was the shame factor - divorce just wasn't done. When my parents divorced in rural England 1972 (I was eight) it caused an outrage. I was the exception at school. In today's age, the reverse is almost true. It's almost fashionable.

The second is economics. Women put up with more because they were economically dependent on husbands. That is less the case today, when modern life is so much more expensive and both sides have to work.

Today, we have more choice, and people are voting with their feet.

[duratanium]

Personally - when i see some 50 something year old bloke in the department store with his juvenile wife (as i did yesterday when i returned my videos), and both can't even communicate the barest minimum without using their hands and feet, i feel very embarrassed.

Although I enjoy a lot of your posts, I must say I disagree with you on this.

Trying to communicate even if it is difficult to is part of the fun in a relationship too. If both parties are ok, then everything is fine.

In theory, i might agree with your sentiments, but lets not get too PC here.

The vast majority here of relationships with a huge age gap (be they Thai-Thai, or Farang-Thai) is an arrangement of convenience - the young women gets the financial security, the old man gets a nice body. So yes, be honest about it, no problem. But lets not interpret anything into this that rarely is there.

There are exceptions, no doubt about that. I do know a few. But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Glad you understood. I knew you are a intelligent man.

But I think shouldn't we the society judge people less. It is reality. There is no way as an outsider to know whether a relationship is based on what. Shouldn't give anyone in our society the benefit of doubt.

I understand that there are a lot, probably most relationships here in thailand between farangs and thai girls that are based on convenience. But there could be young women really in love with old men. If the man is genuinely in love with the lady and treats her well I can't see why they cannot be together.

And for those who are just buying love, the girls are also selling. Hard to tell when it is right or wrong as an outsider. Let them live in peace.

From what I hear a lot of Thai women would prefer an older man. Though, if that means 30+ years I doubt. But I am told that many women prefer security and maturity.

[Lucifer]

But when apart from a huge age gap there is also only minimal communication possible - don't tell me that this is a relationship based on mutual respect and deep understanding of each other's personality.

Hahahahahahaah . . . no, really. . . . hahahahahahahaha. You mean like marriages in the west?

If we want to talk honestly and put aside the PC element here for a moment, let's face up to a fundamental truth. Marriages - as we in the west have been accustomed to accept them - have failed. The model stinks, LARGELY because of the changes in western society over the past 50-60 years. In today's western society, both parties work and it is (ostensibly) at least, a marriage of equals. Equal economically, equal in decision-making, equal in sharing household chores.

Except, here's the rub. They don't work anymore. They are failing in their millions, screwing people up in the process. People are voting with their feet and they are rejecting the model at huge personal, financial and social cost.

So who's to say the model being pioneered here isn't likely to be more successful? Because, let's face it, the marriage the PC people here are looking down upon (difference in ages, cultural gaps, economic mismatch where one party relies on the other etc) look pretty similar from those that were undertaken by our grandparents in Darlington England and Des Moine <deleted> Iowa to me.

hit the nail on the head.

i would also like to add that marriage as an instituation began many many years ago.

only a 140 years ago the life expactancy of the avreage human was about 45-50

200 years ago it was about 30-35.

so when they invented the phrase"till death do us a part"........ no one intended this to go on for 40-50 years.

In parts of the world, It's still 30-35 years.

[WaiWai]

so when they invented the phrase"till death do us a part"........ no one intended this to go on for 40-50 years.

However, some of the marriages that do go on that long seem the most enviable relationships of all.

[Aujuba]

This is a social acceptance ladder for relationships.

illegal - social frowned upon - strange - normal.

I'd say marriage to a much younger woman is under 'socially frowned upon'

A same-age gay relationship to the majority is somewhere between strange and normal nowadays in my view.

Normal would be a heterosexual marriage to someone your own age.

Single would be normal for younger people.

Single after 40 might be strange.

Divorced would be normal.

Marriage to someone not from your race would be strange-normal outside of Thailand. In Thailand it would be more toward normal??

[bendix]

At the risk of making the most outrageous generalisation ever posted on Thaivisa, anyone who hasnt been married by the time they are 40 is either:

1) gay

2) mother-fixated, or

3) Italian (which nicely combines 1 and 2)