I forgot to add my chauffeur to the list, as i don't want him waiting outside in the car.

Please add..

I forgot to add my chauffeur to the list, as i don't want him waiting outside in the car.

Please add..

Certainly Mr. Ed. If you wish he can enjoy a repaste with the other chauffeurs. We are serving Liver and Fava beans with a nice Chianti. By the time the guests have completed their dinner he will be safe to drive you home.

yours

CB

Milliways the restaurant at the rough end of the pineapple

Quentin Tarantino.....Gwen Stefani

Woody Allen...........Bruce Lee

Muhammad Ali..........Jessica Alba

Warren Buffet.........Marilyn Monroe

Frank Sinatra.........Richard Feynman

Picasso...............Toulouse Lautrec, Henri Di

Scarlet Johansson.....Earnest Hemingway

CB, I just noticed that my table is a little light on the ladies!!! Can I organise another with all my favourite ladies? Maybe for another night so as not to upset the space-time continuum!

After much contemplation I would like to request dinner for one please. For myself.

As much as I would love to invite a whole host of wonderful people to join me, I fear that they may not be so wonderful in real life and I am not a fan of pandering to various egos. I find myself quite happy in my own company with my own thoughts in any case as anti-social as that may be.

Also, in any case, seeing as there will be so many tables around me filled up with various illustrious guests all I would have to do is tune in or tune out. Please seat me somewhere dark and inconspicious so I wont get invited to join anyone but close enough to eaves-drop. Ty.

After much contemplation I would like to request dinner for one please. For myself.

As much as I would love to invite a whole host of wonderful people to join me, I fear that they may not be so wonderful in real life and I am not a fan of pandering to various egos. I find myself quite happy in my own company with my own thoughts in any case as anti-social as that may be.

Also, in any case, seeing as there will be so many tables around me filled up with various illustrious guests all I would have to do is tune in or tune out. Please seat me somewhere dark and inconspicious so I wont get invited to join anyone but close enough to eaves-drop. Ty.

Ah come on eek, don't be such a downer. You sitting by yourself would only attract strange men trying to pick you up, it's a dangerous place to sit alone!

I shall sit with her as i contemplate my list of diners, just to keep her company and knock back a coupla tequila slammers or four.

And who mentioned the pineapple?

Ok after working off that stupendous hangover Im feeling peckish again.

I would therefore like to book a table for the weekend for the following guests

Billy Shakespeare-------Martha Stewart

My Mum------------------Virginia Woolf

My wife-------------------Dame Edna Everage

Myself--------------------Peter Molyneux (the video game designer who wrote populous, what sort of game could he develop under Tolkien direction?)

Sandra Bullock----------JRR Tolkien

Peter Jackson------------My Dad

I'd also like to request a private screening of all three Lord of The Rings movies (the Director's cut) prior to dinner (with snacks etc and beer breaks), for those of the guests who wish to view them.

Oh, I might like to sit and watch with Itty Bitty, too. I don't like anything formal. Maybe we could just have an array of starters and lots of choc for Miggy.

LB, forgive my rudeness. Hooch as in the "Turner and Hooch" Hooch. You always need a dog to feed table scraps and beer. Leona Helmsely because she made alot of money, forgot to pay some taxes, and loved her husband dearly. Unlike Martha F Stewart who makes lots of money, forgot about a stock sale, and hates everybody -- she was married but then she got famous and there just wasn't enough room for anything but her.

CB, do you do blinis and caviar? Frozen Stollies? Maybe some sushi? Godiva choc? Or just to ensure Migs get some other vitamins, a chocolate fountain with lots of fruit chunks?

oooooooo jettie!! I always loved ya...but now Im not surprised why

mmmmm

been a good day for me...dinner consisting of sushi, viking salmon it was, and some chinese duck...no offense to LBD...some mmm creamy yummy choc icecream, and then a margarita while watching Arsenal win ManCity perfect Saturday.......

Oh, I might like to sit and watch with Itty Bitty, too. I don't like anything formal. Maybe we could just have an array of starters and lots of choc for Miggy.

LB, forgive my rudeness. Hooch as in the "Turner and Hooch" Hooch. You always need a dog to feed table scraps and beer. Leona Helmsely because she made alot of money, forgot to pay some taxes, and loved her husband dearly. Unlike Martha F Stewart who makes lots of money, forgot about a stock sale, and hates everybody -- she was married but then she got famous and there just wasn't enough room for anything but her.

CB, do you do blinis and caviar? Frozen Stollies? Maybe some sushi? Godiva choc? Or just to ensure Migs get some other vitamins, a chocolate fountain with lots of fruit chunks?

Yeah, i like that dog too. Don't be surprised if he snaps at Leona though. Better put'em at opposite ends of the table.

Id be very happy for you to join me JG. I like the array of starters idea and hopefully Mig will join and supply chocolate. Patsycat most welcome too.

I think we gonna have the best table guys. The unexpected and going with the flow always produces a much better evening imo in any case.

MiGgie always happy to share chocs

and I have a good supply at the moment.... even after sharing with so many friends and people at work already.....

but i think the host CB mentioned something about good chocs at Milliway too...we should check them out ......and if they arent up to standard we can sue them for the entire collection <<evil grin>>

Mel Brooks

Gene Wilder

Groucho Marx

Emily Bronte

The Queen of England

Les Dawson

Oscar Wilde

Francis Bacon

Nostradamus

Gina Rowlands

Albert Einstein

Karl Marx

Billy Connolly for obvious reasons

Princess Diana to get her pissed

Michael Hutchence just because he is/was sexy as anything

Madonna just because

Elvis so he can sing to me

Hilary Clinton to find out how she keeps her marriage together after indiscretion

Hannibal Lecter (the character) because i like his style

Marilyn Monroe to see how sexy she is in the flesh

Robin Williams to team up with Billy - oh my goodness!

Steffi Graf gotta have a great sportswoman there

David Wilson because his time was not up

Oliver Reed as nobody will look that bad compared to him at the end of the night

CB, do you do blinis and caviar? Frozen Stollies? Maybe some sushi? Godiva choc? Or just to ensure Migs get some other vitamins, a chocolate fountain with lots of fruit chunks?

Dear Ms Gorgon

we at Milliways pride ourselves on being able to provide our guests with the finest foods and beverages from anywhere within the Universe. Consequently we can offer you blinis and cariar (virgin sturgeon) or poached teradactyl eggs wih hollandaise sauce.

This actually brings us nicely to the next part of your dinner planning ie the Menu. Please provide your preferred dinner list of food and beverages - Mr Bojangles please note that intergalactic regulations prevent us from bringing fish & chips from Manchester to feed the members of the Man U and City teams who are on you list. However we can provide sufficient ale to tide them over until they stop off for a kebab on the way home.

kindest regards

CB

I'd like to invite....

Ghengis Khan

Alexander the Great

Spartacus

Julius Caesar

Hannibal

Steven Hawking

and Noi from The Carousel Bar

Plonk a game of Connect Four in front of them .... and watch the sparks fly.

No point in inviting Napoleon, he'd claim foul and storm off after half a minute.

CB, do you do blinis and caviar? Frozen Stollies? Maybe some sushi? Godiva choc? Or just to ensure Migs get some other vitamins, a chocolate fountain with lots of fruit chunks?

Dear Ms Gorgon

we at Milliways pride ourselves on being able to provide our guests with the finest foods and beverages from anywhere within the Universe. Consequently we can offer you blinis and cariar (virgin sturgeon) or poached teradactyl eggs wih hollandaise sauce.

This actually brings us nicely to the next part of your dinner planning ie the Menu. Please provide your preferred dinner list of food and beverages - Mr Bojangles please note that intergalactic regulations prevent us from bringing fish & chips from Manchester to feed the members of the Man U and City teams who are on you list. However we can provide sufficient ale to tide them over until they stop off for a kebab on the way home.

kindest regards

CB

Actually the catering could get quite complex, did I see Hannibal Lecter there some where? Lightly grilled kidney of inconsistent moderator maybe?

i invited hannibal. but you cant possibly be referring to me.....im not human....

the sauteed brain from the live human was special.

OK, menu planning. Can we mix and match? Vomitoriums so we can just keep eating? Are the veg local produce? Wine selection? I'd be happy with an Egg McMuffin to start.

You'd need to keep a dinner party like this traditional Jet, no sitting around with a Pizza and a carafe of the amusing house wine.

The earliest you could start would be 8pm after drinks at 7 so that rules out Macca's brekky specialties.

Horses doovers with the drinks, possibly a dry sherry, and switch to champagne with the soup. Over to you.

the sauteed brain from the live human was special.

This can be arrange but we suggest you choose someone who won't miss their brain - a politician would be a perfect choice. Hmm wonder if Chownah is interested in politics?

OK, menu planning. Can we mix and match?

You are free to choose the menu in all its detail. We at Milliways pride ourself on being able to source even the most difficult items. Only last week we did a dinner party for 12 and had baked dodo stuffed with tongue of carrier pigeon. Not as difficult as getting a packet of iced vovo biscuits in Chiang Mai but almost.

We suggest you choose either the same dish for each person but can cater for guests with particular epicurean requirements. We can source halal, kosher, or zoarastrian. However if you require something where the heart must be pulled out still beating by an Aztec high priest we will need advance notice.

Vomitoriums so we can just keep eating?

The space/time continuum allows our guests to eat as much as they wish without resorting to such barbaric practices. However for guests inviting English football players we can provide a handy lightpost in a dark alley if they so choose to relieve themself of the third kebab and excess ale pressure.

Are the veg local produce?

If by local you mean any vegetable produce from within a range of 4 billion light years then yes, some of the more obscure items such as tinned pineapple may need to be imported.

Wine selection?

pulleese Ms Gorgon surely you jest. We have on hand an extensive selection of wines and beverages. In addition our sourcing manager has excellent contact throughout the known universe and is certainly capable of finding your favourite tipple.

I'd be happy with an Egg McMuffin to start.

I did an intergalactic search of the database and wish to advise that this item nor anything else from it propietor can be in anyway referred to as "food".

I hope this information helps you in making your choice of menu

I remain yours

CB

Keep the REPAST simple:

Haggis, neeps, tatties, champ, black pudding, cheese fondue, foie gras, smoked salmon, dublin bay prawns, pizza, and some spicy thai stuff. (oh and egg McMuffins - whatever they are)

Drinks:: white, red, rosé (out of 3 litre boxes) and beer. Oh, and for the apèro - martinis, gin tonics, voddies, and kir royale.

For digestifs - cognac, calvados, and absinthe. And perhaps a bucket for the faint hearted.

I'd make it a buffet.

simple???!

You got hardly any veggies at your buffet Patsy and all the drinks are booze!

Sorry its a buffet - they always have those bits of salady things ornamenting the plates.

As for veggies - note tatties, neeps and champ, what more can you ask for?

I didn't think we need non alcoholic drinks - why don't you suggest some. Me i got my box of wine, so i'm ok.

More veggies dammit! :D

I suggest some really nice fruit juices. Passion fruit etc. An soda water and lime. Some really amazing non-alcoholic cocktails would rock. And some really induldent proper fruit or choc milkshakes.

Yummmmmmmmmm......!

This ultimate dinner party is a good idea. However, from my point of view the emphasis should be placed on party.

What that means is getting all your favourite goodies at the one time. Sure enough some extremely outrageous food would good. But lets face it. Once in a life time opportunity, I sure am not going to order standard fare, or even get bogged down on the menu.

I am going to indulge every vice possible.

Cases of '87 Grange.

The best aged blue cheese you can find.

Blue by the bucket.

White by the pound.

Surf & turf for entree's.

Swimsuit models serving & twirling bar staff mixing the drinks.

Miguel Migs, Seb Fontaine, & myself on the music.

Jimmy Barnes & John Harnham handling the door.

Kurt & Elton doing the primers.

Houdini on the cloakroom.

Hulk Hogan administering an enema to Gorgeous George Bush.

Shane Warne looking after the five minute date service.

Francine Dee, Tila Nguen & Tera Patrick serving refreshments.

Taksin running the games room.

A troop of acrobats just in case you need them.

Hugh Hefner & co.

Ten playstation sets.

And last of all - The Simpson family - Just cos we all like them.

Whoopee! Now that is getting things goping.

Handle it Milleways?

You didnt specify the gender of the swimsuit models soundman, so i will: male swimsuit models are a great idea!

If we are going all out then we should get mig a chocolate fountain (i would certainly have some!).

..hmm..and we should have some activities too..for those like myself who get bored standing about. LaserQuest or paintball outside or a different area could be fun. Casino area for those who like that sorta thing. Dont forget a cool dance floor either. I think a suspended floor over a pool would be fun..or one that lights up Saturday Night Fever/Billy Jean style.

................Oh the possibilities... minds gone a bit tizzy with it all .. so im gonna hafta leave it at that. For now. ..

You didnt specify the gender of the swimsuit models soundman, so i will: male swimsuit models are a great idea!

If we are going all out then we should get mig a chocolate fountain (i would certainly have some!).

..hmm..and we should have some activities too..for those like myself who get bored standing about. LaserQuest or paintball outside or a different area could be fun. Casino area for those who like that sorta thing. Dont forget a cool dance floor either. I think a suspended floor over a pool would be fun..or one that lights up Saturday Night Fever/Billy Jean style.

................Oh the possibilities... minds gone a bit tizzy with it all .. so im gonna hafta leave it at that. For now. ..

Hey I have no probs with male models. A one sided party is no fun at all.

We'll get CB to incorporate a Beddies corner into Milleyways. Shouldn't be too much hassel. Miggy can suck lick taste (ohhh shit, whatever word I write there is not going to come accross well ) on as many chocolates as she pleases. We'll even import a two kilogram Toblerone from the land of Cuckoo cloks if its deemed appropriate.

Me - both dance floors are taken care of.

I really want that Sumo boxing costume. 555555555

I'd be happy with an Egg McMuffin to start.

I did an intergalactic search of the database and wish to advise that this item nor anything else from it propietor can be in anyway referred to as "food".

CB

Thank &lt;deleted&gt;.ck!