Before I begin my rant, can i just say this is a very petty bug-bear, and of course despite it, I love being here.

Treating myself to a bit of shopping today I am now more than relieved to be back home, because, as per usual, I ended up frayed. Not because of crowds or queues or small changing rooms. All because when im happily browesing items, out from nowhere pops a 'helpful' assistant.

No matter what subtle signs I give or things I say, there is no getting rid of them. Happens in just about every bloody shop. One little shop I really like has so many things my magpie instinct wants to look at, but although I keep trying to spend a bit of time there I end up leaving because of the assistant. Shes always picking up a bag or earings or w/e and putting it under my nose. I hardly get a chance to look at anything because of it. Leaving feeling frustrated every time. The lurkers are not as bad, but there is something very offputting about knowing someone is directly behind you following your every move.

What the heck do you guys do? Cuz I would like to shop and choose in peace!

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To top it off, at one shop my bank card would not swipe. The girl tried about six times then asked if I had another form of payment. I said only the card, but I can go to the ATM to withdraw. She calls over someone else and they swipe it once, then with a look of sustain says the card is no good and hands it back. I say the card is ok with a smile and the person look at me like im lying and asks if i have money on the card. I say of course. I tell them I will go quickly to the ATM and pull out the cash, then return to pay. Returning, I was met with some bad tempered scowls and a begrudging thank you at the end. Plus, there was a western gentle man who was hanging about, I guess waiting for his gf/wife. He looked at me like I was a total moron grr. I guess he thought I didnt take enough money with me or something. Pff!!! Shopping is supposed to be a pleasure (well for women)... but I find I like it less and less and less. Time for COFFEE!

then with a look of sustain says the card is no good and hands it back

Is that anything like a look of disdain eek?

Actually I never have the lurking shop assistant problem for some reason, being large and not exactly "hansum" might have something to do with it.

Just hold your hand up like a police man woman & tell them to back off. If all else fails buy a tazer & walk around while continually flicking the switch. That ought to have the desired effect.

If all else fails buy a tazer & walk around while continually flicking the switch. That ought to have the desired effect.

Air-horns work too.

I know what you mean Eek, even in our small little town, I dread going to the main hardware shop, I know what I want but I don't know the name in Thai...... I just want to look for the thing in the right section, but the instant I walk in I acquire a Thai shaped shadow.

Now I go to the smaller hardware stores where there is usually just one person manning the phone and the till and I only go to the large one if I get no joy.

Oops lol.. sustain = disdain. Was on rant mode so was a bit flustered.

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Exactly Thaddy. Thing is..for me anyway..part of the pleasure is looking. The uming and ahing over something you are contemplating buying. Measuring it up against something else etc.

If i need assistance i will ask for it! :/

Yep, hate been followed like that with a vengeance in the stores - like I don't know what I'm doing and need help to think - especially when they start showing you something totally useless. Not their fault though I guess, just following orders and doing their job

Perhaps the worst for it is Home Pro and especially if you're there early. There'll be at least a dozen loitering just inside the entrance ready to pounce. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can go for two or three aisles without being collared, but low n behold they'll all be gathered in the third or fourth where you'll quickly be devoured.

Solution: If you don't enjoy waving assistants away so as not to cause any potential loss of face, bunging some dog poo on your boots should do the trick

I just say "what have you got for 5 baht please". They move on pretty quickly after that

eat loads of raw garlic before, then when you are in the store, fart a bit, a lot, pick your nose, etc.. people will stay away from you.

Well thank you for the advice given gents, although in practice they really are as much use to me as a chocolate teapot.

(Although I have a sneaky feeling mig may actually want a chocolate teapot...)

I have a chocolate in the shape of a bunny. from Lindt

hmm shopping in peace....lemme think what my trick is......I dont go out shopping that much eek......and when I do I prefer the things they sell on the street markets like in silom at night or the weekend markets like Portobello

when I walk into stores and they try to bother me? I just give a smile, walk 2 steps away while still looking at them and smiling, not say anything, and usually they leave me alone. or if they ask I say Im just looking, again smile and it works

happy shopping eek eek

PS. never had a chocolate teapot, but am picturing it in my head...could be fun to chew off the end where you pour and the drink comes out from...whats that part of it called?

Spout.

Eek

One thing I picked up on from your first post.

"She's always picking up a bag or earrings or w/e and putting it under my nose."

That is to promote impulse buying, maybe it doesn't work with you, but it could work with some people ...... she annoys you, but there will be another few hundred customers along that a percentage of may bite.

Can I have a rant now please?

I understand about impulse buying, it's a technique used by supermarkets and shop assistants all the time, the methods range from subtle (item positioning on shelves, at the checkout etc) to in-your-face (would you like to try this wine sir)

The one I don't get and probably never will is, I live in the tropics, that's a given, even if I didn't live in the tropics and I am only here for a visit, I'll still be hot ...... which bright spark ever thought that anyone in Thailand would ever impulse buy a suit.

Beach Road, couldn't get past the bloke as two of his mates were already occupying most of the pavement harassing some poor unfortunates.

"Firstly, I am not a geezah, they have those in Iceland. Secondly, don't try to copy my accent, you will fail miserably and just sound stupid. Thirdly, I'm a farmer from Buriram, I drive a tractor, I plant rice and farm rubber ....... please give me one good reason why you think I may want a suit"

"You're a prick"

"Thank you, very perceptive" ....... got that one from Bendix, but I think it went over his head, much like the 2 litres of cooking oil holding his hair in place.

Can someone please, please, please, please, please take all those Indian suit salesmen, line them up against a wall and shoot them......... it's for the greater good.

eat loads of raw garlic before, then when you are in the store, fart a bit, a lot, pick your nose, etc.. people will stay away from you.

How will that make me stand out in the crowd when every customer reeks of garlic and picks their nose.

BTW most of the assistants pick their noses when they think no one is looking..

I love Thailand..

Ooh i like the "Thank you, very perceptive" Bendix retort Thaddy. Will have to file that one and pull it out if ever I am spoken to in a similar way.

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Miggy, I have tried a sort of smiling and walking away tactic, but seems the more persistent assistants either dont notice, or dont care. Maybe Im not being obvious enough. When I am constantly shown things I generally smile and shake my head then walk around to a different section..but the hint seems to not get registered. However..i will definately try the keeping eye contact whilst walking away and smiling. Maybe that one will work. Tnx. ^^

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Thaddeus I am definately one of those people that dont respond well to heckling of any sort. Anyone who tries generally just loses my potential custom. Too much heckling or more than one watching/following and I have to leave. Sad really, I am sure to part with my cash more if im left alone.

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In the UK assistants ask if you need assistance but if you say no, they walk away. I suppose many Thai people and other nationalities that are used to assistants being close and automatically helpful might find UK assistants rude and unhelpful. ..

I wasn't going to post because I found my needle sticking in a groove I didn't really want to be in.

But

NOBODY has offered you a reasonable workable solution to your problem.

So

When you experience the unwanted intrusion in your world smile broadly.

Ask "Do you speak English".

Even if they don't really they will nod their head to avoid loss of face.

Smile even more broadly and say "Well <deleted> off then".

Works for me.

Hope this helps.

PS A female having a problem with shopping - This IS a troll right ?

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Miggy, I have tried a sort of smiling and walking away tactic, but seems the more persistent assistants either dont notice, .... However..i will definately try the keeping eye contact whilst walking away and smiling. Maybe that one will work. Tnx. ^^

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make sure you give them the 'thanks but no thanks' smile

if we ever meet I will show you how...

a warning...I tried this in Cambodia....nothing works there!! including walking/almost at running pace away...they will follow you...and even when you have bought 6 scarves, 10more sellers will still run after u trying to sell one of their very identical scarves to you

next time I will ask if they want to buy my collection of scarves

lol mig. Nightmare!

As for the smile..I think i know the smile you mean. Closed lips one. But, if we do meet, i look forward to seeing the demonstration

PS A female having a problem with shopping - This IS a troll right ?

Bahhhh! Go boil your head

when I walk into stores and they try to bother me? I just give a smile, walk 2 steps away while still looking at them and smiling, not say anything, and usually they leave me alone. or if they ask I say Im just looking, again smile and it works

On the very few occasions I end up shopping and when I'm not in the mood to talk I just friendly knot with the head and smile, followed by completely ignoring them. When i'm only looking and not really planning to buy I tell them so.

I can make myself understand in Thai and when they put something under my nose which I don't need or like I can say so in a friendly and/or in a joking way.

I bought last week a skirt and gorgeous trousers. Just happen to see a nice skirt when I passed the shop, stopped and dropped in. Was greatly helped by the two women with whom I had a enjoyable time.

When i notice I get irritated I leave, as my bad mood isn't the fault of the assistants. After all, they are just doing their jobs.

My two cents,

Nienke

Bahhhh! Go boil your head

Haven't heard that in a looong time.

Bahhhh! Go boil your head

Haven't heard that in a looong time.

Another good one is....If i want sh1t from you I'll squeeze your head..

Works every time.

Bahhhh! Go boil your head

Haven't heard that in a looong time.

Another good one is....If i want sh1t from you I'll squeeze your head..

Works every time.

Pliz ! Explain pliz !

You squeeze head of Australian and out come shit ?

You need to squeeze ? Yes ? No ?

The only thing worse that persistent shop assistants is shopping a country like Australia where finding one of the lazy pricks in a major department store can be virtually impossible. Did you think about that eek?

Personally would rather have trouble finding one than be pestered ^.^!

What we need is a pleasant balance

I have a chocolate in the shape of a bunny. from Lindt

hmm shopping in peace....lemme think what my trick is......I dont go out shopping that much eek......and when I do I prefer the things they sell on the street markets like in silom at night or the weekend markets like Portobello

when I walk into stores and they try to bother me? I just give a smile, walk 2 steps away while still looking at them and smiling, not say anything, and usually they leave me alone. or if they ask I say Im just looking, again smile and it works

happy shopping eek eek

PS. never had a chocolate teapot, but am picturing it in my head...could be fun to chew off the end where you pour and the drink comes out from...whats that part of it called?

You get one free with every rubber crutch, mig.

Bahhhh! Go boil your head

Haven't heard that in a looong time.

Another good one is....If i want sh1t from you I'll squeeze your head..

Works every time.

Pliz ! Explain pliz !

You squeeze head of Australian and out come shit ?

You need to squeeze ? Yes ? No ?

No it flows of it's own accord.. A lot of French were sent to Van Diemans Land as well you.

I don't understand why you people seem to have such difficulty when doing something so simple as shopping. I go shopping when I need something. I already know what it is and where to get it. I walk in, go straight to the item and pick it up. If the item is large ie refrigerator I have found the simplest thing is to simply walk over to the nearest good looking sales girl, take her by the hand and walk over to the item. Point at it, and say "deliver to this address" (written in Thai on a card). Works every time.

Life is simple, it's people who make it complicated.

CB

If im after an important item I check out what I want via the net. Either buy online, or place and order at the shop. Viola, sorted.

But for clothing, little things, trinkets, gifts, etc, many of us like to browse, muse, consider, etc, before buying (esp women).

Shopping is simple, it's the assistants that make it complicated.

Eek

I don't understand why you people seem to have such difficulty when doing something so simple as shopping. I go shopping when I need something. I already know what it is and where to get it. I walk in, go straight to the item and pick it up. If the item is large ie refrigerator I have found the simplest thing is to simply walk over to the nearest good looking sales girl, take her by the hand and walk over to the item. Point at it, and say "deliver to this address" (written in Thai on a card). Works every time.

Life is simple, it's people who make it complicated.

CB

That's all very well for you CB but a Port Adelaide boy would never get rid of the sales girl afterwards, she'd turn up with the fridge and want to stay.

I don't understand why you people seem to have such difficulty when doing something so simple as shopping. I go shopping when I need something. I already know what it is and where to get it. I walk in, go straight to the item and pick it up. If the item is large ie refrigerator I have found the simplest thing is to simply walk over to the nearest good looking sales girl, take her by the hand and walk over to the item. Point at it, and say "deliver to this address" (written in Thai on a card). Works every time.

Life is simple, it's people who make it complicated.

CB

There speaketh a bloke!

I don't understand why you people seem to have such difficulty when doing something so simple as shopping. I go shopping when I need something. I already know what it is and where to get it. I walk in, go straight to the item and pick it up.

CB

Couldn't have put it any better. Can't stand hours of walking aimlessly around malls or markets. I go to the market to buy the weekly shopping & I'm in and out in ten minutes.