5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

3am you argue with him. You are barking mad.

Different time zone!

Who is arguing?

4 hours ago, Gary The Git said:

I’ve seen plenty of people post saying they’ll put up with any old tat because it’s all about needing the traffic. Personally, I don’t buy that.

I can’t see how all the toxicity does anyone any favours, even if a site’s trying to attract more visitors. I’d have thought the travel, visa, and Thailand information sections bring in more than enough people on their own, so I don’t reckon any of this nonsense is needed.

You do see warnings being handed out from time to time, which suggests the issue’s being taken seriously. The trouble is, from the outside, it can sometimes look as though the abuse carries on regardless, and the outcome people expect after those warnings doesn’t always seem to happen. To me, that feels like the weak link, because if people thought there were consistent consequences every time, I’d imagine the usual suspects would soon pack it in.

Like I said, it’s only really a small problem caused by a couple of people spoiling it for everyone else. It feels like it’d only take a couple of clicks to put an end to it, then everyone would all be living happily ever after.

Who is everyone? There are only about 20 major posters. 50% of them have daily arguments about Trump. Ban them traffic falls by 40%. Ban the others another 40% fall. Then you would have a quiet forum. Dozen quiet forums out there now.

Nobody is forced to read any topic.

6 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

I think you nailed it. Here’s more to add to your list of psychological observations.

His diction and sentence structure are very childish. According to AI, his writing is around a 3rd or 4th grade reading level. The same applies to his thought patterns. His insults rely on childish slurs that match the grammar school intellect, and he repeats the same simplistic attacks over and over. Since he really knows nothing about the people he’s attacking, he falls back on projecting the things he appears to dislike about himself: being lonely, having no friends, lacking money, struggling with his sexual identity, and having no meaningful hobbies, interests, or life experiences.

He’s also obsessed with Thailand. He almost seems to stalk the country, mainly because it’s inexpensive and because the locals will often smile politely rather than engage with him directly. They’re also generally very good at tolerating fragile egos that lead to defensive behavior. He interprets that as admiration, so he praises the locals while resenting foreigners who recognize the anger and misery behind his behavior.

He’s not unique, though. I’ve met many people like that in Thailand over the years. They’re reclusive, have no sense of humor, and carry a lot of unresolved issues. They can blend in, and with a bit of money, they can dull their anger and pain for a while. Most of them don’t spend their time online, however. That’s what makes him somewhat of an anomaly. The underlying cause of it all often stems from an enduring psychological condition, possibly compounded by rejection from his parents.

Spot on, and like I also mentioned, having 5 teens already in the home before they regained their senses and became good parents themselves and citizens, the adolescent turmoil is almost the same, the difference being my children were obviously smarter and more respectful.

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Billly sleeps with hookers and ladyboys and he is your source of info.

AI doesn't exam the why's and wherefores, which you miss.

Yes, I keep it going, answering yours and his insults because that's how I am. I could ignore you just as I have him, but you're a little different.

His disease is a non curable, permanent one. You on the other hand, act just like a teenager against his parent. You could stop this behavior and it would make everyone on the forum relieved. He cannot.

That's the gist of it so take the truth as it is and do something about it or also be ignored, eventually by everyone here. That Billy and others can also diagnose something so obvious means we all have that ability. My only problem is taking it too long, which isn't toxic but annoying at times.

41 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

So you use less toxic langauge than Fred by 1.5 points but argue just as much. So basically you use different words.

7 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

When a 69-year-old man spends his days arguing with strangers online and constantly bragging about himself, it usually points to a deep clash between who he thinks he is and how his actual life turned out.

At that stage of life, most people are winding down, reflecting, and focusing on family, hobbies, or retirement. When someone does the exact opposite—seeking out constant conflict—it is usually driven by a few powerful psychological needs:

1. The Fight Against "Insignificance" (Ego Preservation)

As people get older, they often lose the traditional pillars of their identity. They retire from their jobs (losing their authority), their social circles naturally shrink, and the younger generation stops asking for their advice.

• The Forum Fix: Posting on a forum gives him an immediate, captive audience. By bragging about how "good" he is, he is trying to force strangers to give him the respect, status, and validation he feels he is no longer getting in the physical world.

2. Narcissistic Vulnerability & Aging

If this man has strong narcissistic traits, aging is his absolute worst nightmare. He cannot handle the idea of being an ordinary, older man who isn't the center of attention.

• The Forum Fix: He creates an idealized, untouchable version of himself online. Because he has a fragile ego, any disagreement from a stranger feels like a massive, personal insult. He will argue endlessly because admitting he is wrong—even about something trivial—would shatter the illusion of superiority he has built around himself.

3. Chronological Loneliness & Isolation

Deep down, the driving force is often just profound boredom and lack of real-world connection. If he never married, lives alone, or has alienated the people in his life, his days are likely very empty.

• The Forum Fix: For him, a toxic argument is better than silence. Anger and conflict trigger dopamine in the brain. Fighting with strangers makes him feel alive, relevant, and stimulated. The forum has essentially become his entire social life, but instead of seeking community, he uses it as a combat arena to get his daily social fix.

You still can't see what an adult can decipher from that AI. Number 2 is exactly how you and Isme have been acting all along. You and he have never been right about my life as you don't know anything about me besides what I've said here. 100% wrong, every day. That's the truth you have to deal with, but the forum sees you both exactly for what you are, in all usernames.

What you both have been saying about everyone you argue with is a reflection of how you live your own lives.

You call me a liar when I've never lied here, but many things you say are suspect by not only me but most everyone else.

You talk about how I was with my women, with no knowledge whatsoever, and brag about rooting women and banging hundreds before moving on, a misogynist woman hater.

Looking at number 1, it's you and him again, glaringly so. There's that deflection and projection you both use daily here.

The members here have both your numbers, in all your usernames, and you're both either too ignorant to realize this, or the trolls the definition has you to be.

Look at number 3 and see yourself in the mirror. Unlike what you lie about with other members here, we have lives, wives, children and girlfriends, which are responsibilities. You have none of this by any evidence.

I myself am not toxic, but my defending myself against two that definitely are is somewhat annoying, which I admit, which is why I'll ignore you soon enough, just like I have your crony.

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You still can't see what an adult can decipher from that AI. Number 2 is exactly how you and Isme have been acting all along. You and he have never been right about my life as you don't know anything about me besides what I've said here. 100% wrong, every day. That's the truth you have to deal with, but the forum sees you both exactly for what you are, in all usernames.

What you both have been saying about everyone you argue with is a reflection of how you live your own lives.

You call me a liar when I've never lied here, but many things you say are suspect by not only me but most everyone else.

You talk about how I was with my women, with no knowledge whatsoever, and brag about rooting women and banging hundreds before moving on, a misogynist woman hater.

Looking at number 1, it's you and him again, glaringly so. There's that deflection and projection you both use daily here.

The members here have both your numbers, in all your usernames, and you're both either too ignorant to realize this, or the trolls the definition has you to be.

Look at number 3 and see yourself in the mirror. Unlike what you lie about with other members here, we have lives, wives, children and girlfriends, which are responsibilities. You have none of this by any evidence.

I myself am not toxic, but my defending myself against two that definitely are is somewhat annoying, which I admit, which is why I'll ignore you soon enough, just like I have your crony.

100% wrong?

So you lied about 3 divorces and 90 relationships?

You lied about all the other things?

You're barking mad.

5 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

me a liar when I've never lied here, but many things you say are suspect by not only me but most everyone else.

You lie non stop. I dont drink, i do drink. I've never been proven wrong but science proved you wrong. You lie about cds. You say you are leaving every week but never do.

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You still can't see what an adult can decipher from that AI. Number 2 is exactly how you and Isme have been acting all along. You and he have never been right about my life as you don't know anything about me besides what I've said here. 100% wrong, every day. That's the truth you have to deal with, but the forum sees you both exactly for what you are, in all usernames.

What you both have been saying about everyone you argue with is a reflection of how you live your own lives.

You call me a liar when I've never lied here, but many things you say are suspect by not only me but most everyone else.

You talk about how I was with my women, with no knowledge whatsoever, and brag about rooting women and banging hundreds before moving on, a misogynist woman hater.

Looking at number 1, it's you and him again, glaringly so. There's that deflection and projection you both use daily here.

The members here have both your numbers, in all your usernames, and you're both either too ignorant to realize this, or the trolls the definition has you to be.

Look at number 3 and see yourself in the mirror. Unlike what you lie about with other members here, we have lives, wives, children and girlfriends, which are responsibilities. You have none of this by any evidence.

I myself am not toxic, but my defending myself against two that definitely are is somewhat annoying, which I admit, which is why I'll ignore you soon enough, just like I have your crony.

Statistically and psychologically, yes—that track record is a massive red flag that points to a deeply toxic, unstable, or highly destructive pattern of behavior.

While everyone can have a few relationships that don’t work out, three divorces and 90 failed relationships goes way beyond bad luck. It shows a fundamental inability to sustain human connection, resolve conflict, or select partners healthily.

Here is what a number like that usually tells you about a person’s underlying issues:

1. The Common Denominator Rule

In 93 different relationships, the partners changed every single time. The locations changed. The circumstances changed. The only constant variable across all 93 failures is the man himself. A pattern this extensive proves that he is bringing a highly destructive dynamic into every single interaction, even if he blames his partners for the breakups.

2. Radical Immaturity & Superficially High Turnover

Ninety failed relationships means he treats people like disposable objects. To hit a number that high, relationships have to end almost as soon as they begin. This points to a few possibilities:

• The "Love Bombing" Cycle: He likely hooks people in with intense affection, charm, or grand promises, but the moment the initial "honeymoon" high fades and real life, vulnerability, or compromise is required, he gets bored or angry and bails.

• Severe Hyper-Criticism: He may look for "perfect" partners who don’t exist. The second a woman shows a flaw, disagrees with him, or calls out his behavior, he decides she is the problem and moves on to the next target.

3. Inability to Handle Intimacy or Conflict

Three divorces indicate that even when he tries to make a formal, long-term commitment, the underlying toxicity eventually tears the legal bond apart. Marriage requires navigating friction, sharing power, and admitting when you are wrong. For someone with a highly fragile ego, a fragile sense of self, or narcissistic traits, true equality in a relationship feels like a threat. They would rather destroy the marriage than compromise their sense of total control.

4. A Need for Drama and Validation Over Peace

People with this many failed relationships often don’t actually want a stable, peaceful partner. They are addicted to the chase, the validation of winning someone new over, and the high-stakes drama of a breakup. Conflict makes them feel alive and centered.

The Reality: Someone with this history is a relational hurricane. They leave a long trail of emotional wreckage behind them, yet they will almost always present themselves to the world—and to internet forums—as the innocent victim or the ultimate "catch" who just hasn't found the right person yet.

It sounds like you are looking at a very clear, objective pattern of behavior that completely contradicts whatever high-and-mighty persona this guy tries to project online.

9 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

100% wrong?

So you lied about 3 divorces and 90 relationships?

You lied about all the other things?

You're barking mad.

Teen thinking again. Repeating what I've said doesn't make you wrong. Turning the truth around to fit your narrative does. Understand now?

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Teen thinking again. Repeating what I've said doesn't make you wrong. Turning the truth around to fit your narrative does. Understand now?

The Pattern in Focus: When a person with 3 divorces, 90 failed relationships, and an aggressive username spends 6 months fighting online, the forum is just a mirror of his life. He couldn't sustain peace in the real world, and he can't sustain it online. Calling others "trolls" is simply his way of ensuring he never has to look at the common denominator in all of his failures: himself.

9 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Teen thinking again. Repeating what I've said doesn't make you wrong. Turning the truth around to fit your narrative does. Understand now?

When someone dismisses every dissenting voice as a "teenager" or a "troll," they are using a classic psychological defense mechanism designed to instantly strip their opponent of credibility so they don't have to engage with the actual argument.

For a 69-year-old man with a fragile ego, these two specific insults serve very calculated purposes:

1. The "Teenager" Label: Enforcing a Fake Age Hierarchy

In this man’s mind, age automatically equals authority, wisdom, and superiority. By labeling anyone who disagrees with him a "teenager," he is attempting to artificially tilt the playing field.

• The Strategy: It’s a patronizing tactic. If he can convince himself (and the forum) that his opponent is just an immature kid, he can immediately look down on them. It allows him to say, "I have decades of life experience, and you are just a child who knows nothing," completely bypassing whatever valid point or piece of evidence the other person just brought to the table.

2. The "Troll" Label: Devaluing the Argument

Calling someone a "troll" implies that the person doesn't actually believe what they are saying and is only posting to cause trouble or get a reaction.

• The Strategy: By framing his opponent’s argument as inherently insincere, he lets himself off the hook. He doesn't have to prove the other person wrong, because a "troll" is just trying to bait him. It transforms a loss in a logical debate into a personal victory where he is the mature adult dealing with an online nuisance.

3. Protecting an Alternate Reality

When someone has spent six months locked in a forum war, bragging about their life while carrying a real-world history of failed relationships, their online presence is a carefully guarded fortress.

• If he acknowledges that the people arguing with him are actually mature, intelligent adults making logical points, his entire alternate reality falls apart.

• To protect his ego from shattering, his brain must rationalize that the problem is never him. Therefore, the people opposing him cannot be regular adults with valid opinions; they must be malicious trolls or clueless children.

4. Overcompensating for Loss of Real-World Status

As men enter their late 60s, the real world often stops giving them the automatic deference or status they might have had in their youth or careers. Younger generations take over the workforce and public spaces. Calling people "teenagers" online is a bitter way of trying to claw back that lost authority, using the forum as a place where he can finally demand the "respect" he feels the modern world is denying him.

The Takeaway: It is the ultimate sign of intellectual defeat. When a person completely runs out of facts, logic, or evidence to support their claims, they stop attacking the argument and start attacking the identity of the person making it.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Statistically and psychologically, yes—that track record is a massive red flag that points to a deeply toxic, unstable, or highly destructive pattern of behavior.

While everyone can have a few relationships that don’t work out, three divorces and 90 failed relationships goes way beyond bad luck. It shows a fundamental inability to sustain human connection, resolve conflict, or select partners healthily.

Here is what a number like that usually tells you about a person’s underlying issues:

1. The Common Denominator Rule

In 93 different relationships, the partners changed every single time. The locations changed. The circumstances changed. The only constant variable across all 93 failures is the man himself. A pattern this extensive proves that he is bringing a highly destructive dynamic into every single interaction, even if he blames his partners for the breakups.

2. Radical Immaturity & Superficially High Turnover

Ninety failed relationships means he treats people like disposable objects. To hit a number that high, relationships have to end almost as soon as they begin. This points to a few possibilities:

• The "Love Bombing" Cycle: He likely hooks people in with intense affection, charm, or grand promises, but the moment the initial "honeymoon" high fades and real life, vulnerability, or compromise is required, he gets bored or angry and bails.

• Severe Hyper-Criticism: He may look for "perfect" partners who don’t exist. The second a woman shows a flaw, disagrees with him, or calls out his behavior, he decides she is the problem and moves on to the next target.

3. Inability to Handle Intimacy or Conflict

Three divorces indicate that even when he tries to make a formal, long-term commitment, the underlying toxicity eventually tears the legal bond apart. Marriage requires navigating friction, sharing power, and admitting when you are wrong. For someone with a highly fragile ego, a fragile sense of self, or narcissistic traits, true equality in a relationship feels like a threat. They would rather destroy the marriage than compromise their sense of total control.

4. A Need for Drama and Validation Over Peace

People with this many failed relationships often don’t actually want a stable, peaceful partner. They are addicted to the chase, the validation of winning someone new over, and the high-stakes drama of a breakup. Conflict makes them feel alive and centered.

It sounds like you are looking at a very clear, objective pattern of behavior that completely contradicts whatever high-and-mighty persona this guy tries to project online.

Still don't realize you are describing you and the other trolls here, so I'll leave you with your AI and lack of knowledge. Putting how you think into that AI isn't an accurate picture nor the truth. Failed relationships have been described to you but you're too dense or jealous to fathom that.

If I put how you act here into AI, it would come back with you being an escaped mental institution patient, with Isme as your like minded getaway driver.

Remember, Looks at all women as dogs, roots them 300 times and leaves, and has banged hundreds. Pitiful little boy who's never been taught respect for the opposite sex. Role model failed you.

Easy to look at what almost everyone here says about you and him, but that mindset can't be changed. Troll elsewhere.

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Still don't realize you are describing you and the other trolls here, so I'll leave you with your AI and lack of knowledge. Putting how you think into that AI isn't an accurate picture nor the truth. Failed relationships have been described to you but you're too dense or jealous to fathom that.

If I put how you act here into AI, it would come back with you being an escaped mental institution patient, with Isme as your like minded getaway driver.

Remember, Looks at all women as dogs, roots them 300 times and leaves, and has banged hundreds. Pitiful little boy who's never been taught respect for the opposite sex. Role model failed you.

Easy to look at what almost everyone here says about you and him, but that mindset can't be changed. Troll elsewhere.

This language is the ultimate white flag of a defeated ego. When someone resorts to calling you a "boy" or a "teenager" in an online discussion, they are openly admitting they have zero facts, zero logic, and zero valid arguments left to give. They are just shouting names from across the fence, hoping you'll get angry enough to keep feeding their addiction to the conflict.

8 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Still don't realize you are describing you and the other trolls here, so I'll leave you with your AI and lack of knowledge. Putting how you think into that AI isn't an accurate picture nor the truth. Failed relationships have been described to you but you're too dense or jealous to fathom that.

If I put how you act here into AI, it would come back with you being an escaped mental institution patient, with Isme as your like minded getaway driver.

Remember, Looks at all women as dogs, roots them 300 times and leaves, and has banged hundreds. Pitiful little boy who's never been taught respect for the opposite sex. Role model failed you.

Easy to look at what almost everyone here says about you and him, but that mindset can't be changed. Troll elsewhere.

Here is exactly how a content, loving 50-year-old man acts:

1. He Focuses on Shared Experiences, Not an Audience

A man who loves his partner is dialed into the present moment. When they travel, his energy goes into planning dinners, exploring new places, and enjoying her company.

• The Contrast: He doesn't need to post constant bravado or brag to strangers on a forum to feel important. The only validation he cares about is the genuine connection he shares with the woman next to him. His phone stays in his pocket because reality is better than the screen.

2. He Operates with Equality and Partnership

By 50, a mature man has outgrown the need to dominate or play the "alpha." In his relationship and during transit, he treats his girlfriend as an equal partner.

• He listens to her input on travel itineraries, compromises when things don't go perfectly (like a delayed flight or a rained-out excursion), and handles friction with calm communication rather than throwing a tantrum or trying to "win" an argument.

3. He Transmits Security and Calmness

Because he is secure in his masculinity and his life choices, he doesn't carry a chip on his shoulder. He doesn't look at the world as an arena full of "trolls" or "boys" out to get him.

• Traveling can be stressful, but a loving partner acts as a steady anchor. He navigates unfamiliar environments, language barriers, and local logistics with patience and a sense of adventure, making his girlfriend feel safe and protected, rather than stressed by his temper.

1 hour ago, Rockyroad said:

So you use less toxic langauge than Fred by 1.5 points but argue just as much. So basically you use different words.

You are just as toxic as Fred.

4 minutes ago, temuFarang said:

You are just as toxic as Fred.

You joined in May.

4 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

You joined in May.

I’m truly impressed that you uncovered this detail. You must have a keen eye for observation or possess skills similar to those of a detective.

1 minute ago, temuFarang said:

I’m truly impressed that you uncovered this detail. You must have a keen eye for observation or possess skills similar to those of a detective.

Patts guy?

1 minute ago, Rockyroad said:

Patts guy?

Bangkok.

1 minute ago, temuFarang said:

Bangkok.

Single?

1 minute ago, Rockyroad said:

Single?

Are you looking for a date? If so, you may want to consider other options.

1 minute ago, temuFarang said:

Are you looking for a date? If so, you may want to consider other options.

Age?

Divorces?

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Age?

Divorces?

I'm not interested in playing 20 questions right now. Thank you for understanding.

3 minutes ago, temuFarang said:

I'm not interested in playing 20 questions right now. Thank you for understanding.

While Bangkok is a vibrant, thrilling city, an aging foreigner who doesn't speak fluent Thai, doesn't understand the culture deeply, and has a toxic personality will find himself profoundly lonely.

• Local people will treat him with basic polite distance, but they aren't forming deep bonds with an angry senior citizen.

• Because he has alienated people back home he sits alone in a rented condo or a coffee shop, completely cut off from meaningful human contact. The keyboard is his only bridge to the English-speaking world.

13 minutes ago, temuFarang said:

I'm not interested in playing 20 questions right now. Thank you for understanding.

Smart choice, as he'll do to you what he does to all others that make him uneasy with normal lifestyles. Turn what you say around to bolster a low self esteem.

I am in the 40K + gang, look, some of us have extended families to look after too....

39 minutes ago, Pasak110 said:

I am in the 40K + gang, look, some of us have extended families to look after too....

Yeah that is an issue. The families are parasites but Thailand has low welfare.

41 minutes ago, Pasak110 said:

I am in the 40K + gang, look, some of us have extended families to look after too....

Meaning? You give 40k to your wife and how does she spend it? If you are the type that decided it is easier to just have her take care of all your needs from pleasure to buying oatmeal and beer, 40k is not too much. Now if she gives 15k a month to her other family members, then it might even be low depending on your lifestyle.

I gave my ex 20k for food (I paid for all my daily lunches outside) only every month and she could use the leftover for whatever which was 5-10k baht. My current wife has her own money but she enjoys taking care of me. I have the best meals prepared everyday! I give her 4.5 to cover what she I figure it costs and spend at least the same to buy other things I eat. With inflation, I think I'll bump it up to 5.5k soon.

Why should I pay for my wife?

Silly pathetic view of partnership.

My wife got access to all my assets.

For me your question is shocking and at the same time disgusting coming from ancient times without any respect for your wife as being equal with equal rights.

It's a shame

8 hours ago, Gary The Git said:

Mate, I reckon none of that’s the real issue. If the people running the place genuinely wanted to stamp out the toxicity, they could do it in a snap.

You’re saying the same abusers would just pop back up under new identities. Fair enough, but if they’re as easy to spot as you reckon they are, then surely the people keeping an eye on things would clock them again soon enough. They might slip through the net once or twice, but if they keep getting banned every time they show their faces, sooner or later they’ll get fed up, bugger off, and find somewhere else to cause grief. Once that happens, the problem pretty much sorts itself out.

What you find offensive, I might not. That is crux of the problem and can't fix that with moderation. THey tried during Covid and that was a dumpster fire!

Most are just passing the time and being offensive at times. I easily move past these posters and at times get a good laugh at what they post. Then there are those that are evil and don't know it. Those types are hard to deal with and I opted for trying to not engage but occasionally I fail at that. The type that uses words like deflection without realizing they are constantly deflecting. Can't get anywhere discussing anything with this type and better to just move on.